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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: First steps  (Read 280 times)
quirkyduck
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 1


« on: March 08, 2023, 08:07:42 PM »

Hello.  Just taking a first step here in trying to recover from what I think is finally the end of a 2 year relationship with my ex girlfriend who is on the BPD spectrum.  Pretty sure I just received the “final discard” and am Just trying to understand, heal, and move forward. 
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capecodling
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 158


« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2023, 10:06:22 PM »

There are some good resources linked right above that suggest starting points.  I found it quite helpful to read other people’s experiences and then start taking action to heal myself, things like: exercise, therapy, good diet, meditation, breath-work, supplements, etc.
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brighter future
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 277


« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2023, 11:01:29 AM »

Welcome to the forum. This is a very good place for you to be.  I'm very sorry to hear that you are going through this. Feel free to reach out and tell us more about your situation when you feel up to it.

Nearly 3 years ago, I was where you are at now after being abruptly discarded from a relationship  that lasted for almost two years. All in all, it took me nearly a year to recover from the aftermath. It was one of the hardest time periods in my life, and I am in my mid 40's.  This forum and weekly counseling sessions helped get me back on track. The forum was great for me because I was amongst people that had experienced many of the same things that I did in their own relationships. Most could relate to my situation, when the counselor really couldn't put herself in my shoes.


Hang in there and take care of yourself.
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