It comes in waves

[SurvivalGuy]

Hi all. Hope you’re all looking after yourself.

It’s been 10 weeks since the breakup and no contact 9 weeks from my BPDexgf of 7 months.

I thought I was doing okay but the pain is back. I’m so depressed. I’ve lost interest in my kids and basically everything in life. I’m 3 weeks into anti depressants. I just want to get over thinking about her. I can’t believe it can go from sending engagement ring pics 24 hours before our breakup.

[NarcsEverywhere]

Hey survival guy, I'm sorry you're struggling so much with depression. I've been through these relationships and am dealing with depression, can I give you some tips that help me with it?

[SurvivalGuy]

Hey survival guy, I'm sorry you're struggling so much with depression. I've been through these relationships and am dealing with depression, can I give you some tips that help me with it?

Yes please Narc, that would be great

[NarcsEverywhere]

Okay, so, like, some days, if I am burnt out, I just rest, and think slowly, and do slowly, and think slowly, and give myself some credit for what I do. I have low expectations of myself, but give myself credit, and say "Hey, I'm having a hard time and I am still caring for my life or my pets, or hey, I had a lazy day, which I can have occasionally, and then I get some rest that is needed" guilt tripping myself into action too quickly can sabotage me.

That being said, when I am stuck in depression, I think any sort of physical activity is important to push through, to some degree, as you don't want to get stuck in it. It's hard, because it can kick up anxiety, and you have to struggle with trying to find the proper time to reassure yourself and calm down, and the proper time to keep going, which can be hard to figure out. I also find it helpful to care for my pets on those higher action days, because it gives me a sense of purpose, and even if I am in the dumps, seeing my pets happy improves my mental health, and eases my mind, and sometimes cheers me up.

I don't know your whole situation, if you're working, what your load is with your kids and everything, and what is possible, but having some flexibility in how you deal with things is good, because some days require a gentle approach and some days require some pushing.

Cleaning the house, weight lifting, going outside just to stand in the sun, and going for walks, all help lift my mood, most of the time, but not all of the time. Hope this helps, and that you feel better. I know it can be crippling sometimes. My suggestion is to just do what you can and give yourself as much credit as you can, considering the fact that you're having a hard time, celebrating the small successes can give you something to build on. It's not coddling yourself if you do this, minimizing what you do, will keep you stuck.

[NarcsEverywhere]

Another thing that helps me is that depression can be from repressed anger and journaling it out, while breathing through my nose, without judging it helps a lot. It’s super toxic to hold in anger because it’s such a powerful emotion.

I know I gave a lot of ideas, and that might be overwhelming, but these are just ideas, take what you want from it.

[BPDEnjoyer]

It sounded like you are trauma bonded.  You really dodged a bullet.  She likely found a new guy she fancied so she created that drama to paint you black so she can leave.  She will not break up with you to be alone.  There is somebody else she is trying to monkey branch to.