Relationship

[Ladybug22]

I have read numerous books about BPD and NPD  never knowing what was going on with my partner. I had everyone telling me that he was just a narcissist and to get over him, he's not worth it etc. The thing is, I've been with this man going on eight years now the first five we barely had an argument let alone think he may be a narcissist. I have completely consumed myself since the spring of 21 on trying to figure out why my partner basically split I guess might be a word for it. I don't know I had a massive heart attack a very life altering event  Hewas very tentative for about a month after and then he just changed I can see it, being played out before it even happened.  He and I bought a house shortly after my heart attack. The stress was consuming him. The person that was putting even more pressure on him was his mother. Now I know that we all have issues with mother in laws but she and I were close until my 'incident' is what I began to call it because I wasn't allowed to talk of it anymore. His mother is the true definition of a narcissist she thinks she's entitled to everything everybody must do what she says and the dramatic scenes she would put on.She began texting me numerous times a day wanted to know what I was doing where I was  she began driving by the house numerous times to see if I was home making my boyfriend think I was out cheating on him, and she was reporting back to him telling him this. He would get off work and she had messaged him everything I had done that evening. He was slipping further and further away. It was insane. Now here is the kicker, she has the control of the money. She was helping us (if you call it that) pay for a flipping of house. Until she wasn't. She began coming to the house wanting to know why it was taking the contractor so long and it was costing her so much money. I just want to say the house had sat empty for 10 years we had to do a lot of gutting completely demolished bathroom and she expected it to be done in like two weeks. So then began the money situation. She was constantly on him about me getting back to work because she said I was using my heart attack as a sympathy card and I should be back to work! Let's keep in mind I had coded for 12 min I had 2 stent placements and was covered in bruises from blood thinners. I did however put my body and soul into fixing that house ultimately doing a lot of the work with my sympathy card of a heart. (PS I was on short term disability so I had an income). So her constant pressure the pressure of the house the pressure of his work and so forth he had become a man I didn't recognize. He would come back for awhile but then just start yelling out of nowhere and then ok again. Until one night he came home in a psychosis and began screaming that people were coming to kill him and this ended horrifically. He came at me and began physically attacking me and I had to call for help. He was enraged I had never seen anything like it. He wasn't himself I couldn't see the man I loved in those eyes but at the end when he comes back to me it's as if his eyes shifted and he saw what he was doing to me and he let go and I ran out the door. Someone please tell me please help me understand I this part of BPD? I need so much guidance

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Caedo]

I would want to make sure that he hadn't been using any substances before attributing the behavior to bpd but bpd has been known to have "transient stress related paranoid ideation"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9005124/