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Author Topic: bpd situationship?  (Read 544 times)
kencarsonfan12
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: it’s complicated
Posts: 1


« on: September 03, 2023, 08:15:02 PM »

recently i was cut off by a pwbpd who i cared for, and she told me that she wants to be friends in the future when we last spoke, but since then she’s blocked me on some social media and phone.

she said she cut me off because she was scared of a relationship, and i’m unsure what to do from here? i want to support and help her but i’m not sure after learning more about bpd if anything but NC would be useful
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EyesUp
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 580


« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2023, 08:01:39 AM »

@Ken...

Welcome.

It's natural to be concerned for someone else.  One thing you'll find here is that many of us who have or had relationships with pwBPDs is that we often prioritize them ahead of our own best interests - out of fear, obligation, guilt, enmeshment, dependencies, rescuer tendencies, etc., etc.

For almost all of us, a huge piece of moving forward - no matter what the outcome is - is learning to prioritize our own wellbeing.

What are you doing for yourself at this point?  Are you connected with friends and family?  Do you have a therapist?  Any activities or hobbies you've been neglecting lately? 

My advice is:  Take some time to put yourself first for a bit.   If your pwBPD truly needs something from you, she'll probably find a way to let you know. 

In the meantime, you might also consider that you should respect her boundaries - if she's gone incommunicado, consider respecting her wishes. 
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