Money in the family has been an issue. Just like nothing seems to be "enough" for a pwBPD's emotional needs, money isn't either. Similar to the story- there was enough money, there just wasn't enough for BPD mother because of her emotional needs.
Dad wanted to make her happy and so, a lot of the money went to her wishes. There were financial issues when there didn't need to be and the stress on my father was apparent. But ( thankfully) we weren't facing serious problems like not being able to buy food or shelter- we had what we needed- it was the emotional feeling of stress over finances- describing it as the "house whispering" in the story was brilliant.
I liked the part of the house whispering too!
I read the Wikipedia biography of DH Lawrence. He describes an upbringing in
Sons and Lovers (the novel I found triggering) which is very close to the socioeconomic circumstances in which he grew up. Someone in his household had problems for sure.
Your mother created so much stress. Mine did too. It was overkill and totally unnecessary. My mom didn't demand personal goods but used tantrums and ridicule over us to be in control. Some of it was financial (my family is doing okay - food, shelter & and medical care but could have been much better no thanks to her behavior) to how we washed our clothing and personal hygiene. I had very oily hair and was allowed to wash my hair once a week. I needed it daily. I put my hair into a bun or ponytail mostly to avoid embarrassment. Part of gaining control was to humiliate me.
Considering when I read this story- my mother's situation was a mystery to me. I didn't talk about it to anyone and didn't know anything about BPD. I don't recall why I read it- it may have been a school assigment- and it made an impression.
It was a homework for Freshman English Literature and I think it was in the Norton Anthology. I could be wrong about the book - it was at least 40 years ago. No, I hadn't heard of BPD. I had a set of therapy sessions with a psychologist (a free school service) and told her about my mom. She never mentioned bpd to me. It was California and a large university where we had access to good research studies. It might have been considered a rare condition? I don't know.
I remember the wire vs cloth 'mother' for orphaned monkey babies experiment from Psych 1. That made an impression as well. Am sure my mother was attentive to me as an infant or I wouldn't have lived. The wire part came later and still exists.