Need to make distance

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I don't know that divorce is necessary (and might only enable more problems).

If I could throw pixie dust (I know I can't), I'd turn us into roommates. 

But failing that I'm feeling the need to increase distance and minimize interaction with my wife of almost 35 yrs. I'm out of energy to keep finessing this mess.

Thanks for listening.

[NPASDK]

I don't know that divorce is necessary (and might only enable more problems).

If I could throw pixie dust (I know I can't), I'd turn us into roommates. 

But failing that I'm feeling the need to increase distance and minimize interaction with my wife of almost 35 yrs. I'm out of energy to keep finessing this mess.

Thanks for listening.

[kells76]

Hi NPASDK, glad you found us and reached out.

35 years is a long time; there's probably a lot of history there. How recently did you begin to suspect BPD might be in play, and what led you that direction?

Do the two of you have any kids?

No matter what direction you decide to go, using skilled communication approaches and managing conflicts healthily will be critical.

I'm out of energy to keep finessing this mess.

Running out of energy is a big sign we aren't taking care of ourselves and our needs. Lots of members here can relate to that. What kind of support do you have for yourself right now -- do you have a therapist or counselor?