Get Me Out of Here - Rachel Reiland

[momma]

This was the first book I read about BPD after we found out that was what our daughter had. I found it informative and helpful in some ways and it gave me hope that there was help out there and that she could recover. Some of the behaviours were similar to my daughter's but I did not find I related in the same way to this story as I did to the Buddha and the Borderline. I found this book seemed to written in a more detached manner or was written well into recovery. For this reason I think the emotions were less raw and it seemed more clinical than memoir. Still I would say it is worth reading for anyone that wants to better understand the borderline in their life.

C

[ESTERMLW]

How manful this book 

Publishing the journey that bring recovery is not the easy thing. Because there is pain, asshamedness, and fear that have to face before. But Rachel's desicion to write and publish this book already exceede it. So, I give my standing applause to Rachel Reiland and so thanksfull because her openness help me and some theology student in my college to learn how to understand PWBPD's spirituality. In Indonesian, my country, BPS not yet to be known, although our context (that have many violent, suicidal, sex addiction, neglect, and other symtom-causes cases) is very potential to spread BPD. As a personality disorder that difficult to detected and treated, BPD's spirituality is very rare to be learned. But this book is able to translate 'the language of interaction between God and PWBPD' into the world language of normal people.

[musicfan42]

Yes I agree with you momma-I preferred the rawness of "The Buddha and the Borderline". I think I also felt more sympathy for Keira Van Gelder because she had been sexually abused as a child whereas Rachel Reiland just seemed to be a spoilt brat from what I could tell. I felt like ok, her parents weren't great to her but she still got the opportunity to pursue a good education (accounting), have a long-suffering husband (I felt sorry for him not her!) and lovely children. I just felt like she was complaining about absolutely nothing. And Dr Padgett was so overindulgent with her-it was incredibly frustrating to read because I just thought that she needed a good telling off and sort herself out! Some tough love as opposed to this "oh poor baby, what happened in your childhood?" routine... . Lol!

I also agree with someone else who said it's no wonder that she became attracted to her therapist when she was seeing him so frequently-obviously it's great that the therapy worked... . I mean, it's good that she stuck with the therapy and persevered but then why wouldn't she... . everyone would love to have someone listen to their inane rambling 3x/week... .

I'm noticing that someone mentioned how they didn't think raging at the therapist was believable. I think that was very believable, especially for someone who has BPD! I'm glad that she included the rages in the book actually-that she didn't squirm from portraying herself in a negative light. (I found her very unlikable!) I had a therapist who told me that the relationship you have with a therapist is similar to the relationship that you have with people in your actual life... . But in fairness to the author, it's good to see a book from a high functioning borderline... . from someone who looks like they have have everything to the outside world but is actually struggling with relationships, eating disorders etc.

That's another thing-she didn't go into much detail with regards to the eating disorder from what I remember... . (it's been a while since I've read the book so maybe I'm forgetting some of it... . ).  I know that the book was focused on the BPD however I would have like to have heard more about the eating disorder issues too.

[Auspicious]

(I felt sorry for him not her!)

Me too

it was incredibly frustrating to read because I just thought that she needed a good telling off and sort herself out!

The problem is, that doesn't work. If it did, there would be no need for DBT, schema, etc.

Though I understand the sentiment

[musicfan42]

Lol Auspicious-you've got me laughing now!

I read how clinicians have different reactions to borderlines-how some of them feel sorry for them and how others feel angry with them. I used to be in the sympathetic camp but now I would be in the angry camp. I have my own anger issues that I work really hard on by the way-I'm calm most of the time now. But when I'm around a borderline, they just evoke that anger within me... . I definitely have a strong reaction to borderlines complaining about something... . complaining about anything... . It awakens all that repressed anger within me and I'm aware of that. I feel like if someone has a saintlike patience, then they may be able to deal with a borderline in a better way... . but I'm just not the person... . I just am not cut out for it by any means.

I think the type of treatment Rachel Reiland did, psychodynamic therapy, has probably the best chance of helping a borderline to have stable relationships because it focuses on their inner states of being, not just their behaviours. So whilst I found Rachel to be an annoying protagonist, I must admit that she did seem to be able to deal with her family in a much calmer way to before (the bit towards the end of the book just in case you're wondering which section I'm referring to!)-to be able to get some sort of perspective on it. Dr Padgett, Rachel Reiland's psychiatrist stuck me as an extraordinary person... . I really thought "wow, I want him to be my therapist... . like NOW". I've been to therapy before but I never felt like my therapist cared for me to the extent that Dr. Padgett cared for Rachel.

[Calm Waters]

I read this recently, I was very moved, it is one of the few books that views the condition personally from the inside. I am no where near as BPD as Rachel but I was in tears often reading this I think because my mother was so BPD it helped me understand why she neglected me

[Calm Waters]

i thought it was inspirational. i was in tears at regular intervals, I a have BPD/ NPD traits nothing like as bad as the author but I could relate to it none the less

[Arbre710]

I have often said that I would love to be inside my BPD daughter's brain for a day.  This book came very close, and for that reason I think that it is one of the best I have read about BPD.  I found myself in tears often while reading it.  I made notes at times when Rachel was experiencing something similar to what my daughter must have felt. 

[Randi Kreger]

I am involved with this book because back in the 199o's Rachel came to me with the book and I published it. Then I sold the rights to Hazelden. We have had two people express interest in film rights, but I don't think anything will ever get made because most of it is a woman talking to her therapist. No car crashes whatsoever.Rachel is doing very, very well.

[goldylamont]

Rachel is doing very, very well.

it's pretty amazing that you know the author so well. thanks for sharing. it sounds like Rachel has overcome a lot and doing much better.

however, the million dollar question i think many would like to know is -- how is her *husband* doing now. Is he doing very very well, as well?

i've seen multiple claims of pwBPD working and getting better. however i haven't heard anything from the people with close relationships with the pwBPD. maybe her husband's memoir could be the next great bestseller 

[Calm Waters]

'In Treatment' has been very popular however!

[rotiroti]

Just finished it - I have to say the middle and epilogue were very beautiful. As for the book overall? It's decent, but it's truly the only book out there that's written from the POV of a pwBPD. Really fascinating to hear about Reiland's journey and relationship with her therapist. Would highly recommend it for anyone trying to make sense of BPD behavior.