Self reflection. Take a look. Take the test. What are your results?

[harmony1]

i was tested years ago   I am an INFJ also 

[CrazyNoMore]

I tested last year as an INTJ.  Just took it again -- still an INTJ.  I was so intrigued by this description from a site that I cut and pasted it and saved it.  Unfortunately, I don't remember where it's from... .bolded emphasis is mine... .

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTJ

"This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private  people, and can often be naturally impassive  as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness."

Whan I think about it, most of what's bolded are fleas from my FOO.

Social rituals  were "silly".  Why would I need friends or social outlets when I had what I needed at home, which went no further than food, clothing, shelter, and academics.  Even now at 40, I'm a social dunce.

Extremely private.  I was raised with such a sense of shame about myself that I couldn't open up to anybody.

Impassive.  I learned early that showing emotions was BAD.  And, at times, dangerous.

Want people to make sense -- 'cause Lord knows my FOO didn't!

My husband describes me a "practical and pragmatic to a fault."  Never mind what I want.  What do I need?  Well, when you get down to it I don't need anything, do I?  I mean, as long as I have a roof over my head and food in the fridge and some clothing to put on, what else is there?  Drives him nuts trying to do Christmas shopping for me because I can't tell him what I want.  And when I do mention something, there's a long list of justifications that comes spilling out.  At this point, he just shakes his head.  But every year he gets me something related to an animal I collect.  Do I need another?  Nope.  And that's the point.  He gets it for me because I like it, and no other reason. 

[DeeEsse]

I have taken Meyers-Briggs numerous times but I don't always get the same result. I always get xNxP, and the percentages for the N and P are very solid, but the I/E and T/F are so close that I can take the test three times in one hour and come out INFP one time and ENTP the second and ENFP the third... .Even from reading the descriptions i'm not 100% sure which is right. I think my upbringing definitely has something to do with this.

I am extremely logical and analytical (T), but I also have very deep empathy and care a lot about people's feelings (F). I tend to think I'm a really a T, but that I've had to tune in to feelings to survive and also am confusing codependency with putting feelings first. In other words, if I wasn't so worried about people's feelings, I'd probably tend to weigh things out rationally. But then I just don't know if a T would cry at movies. 

I love being around people, am extremely talkative with people I feel safe with, and sometimes even enjoy being the center of attention at times (E) but I also find it exhausting, and really need my alone time (I). I tend to think that my nature is "E" but the social anxiety and lack of trust is what wipes me out. But I hate crowds, and prefer intimate social activities which really points to "I", so I honestly don't know.

[boarderchic]

ENTJ... was tested a couple of years ago through work.  When I've taken the on-line tests, it's always the same.  But, if you're getting different results, that may be because on-line tests are not the full Myer's Briggs test, and it is really supposed to be evaluated by someone trained in Myers-Briggs... not an on-line, automatic eval.

[rescue1]

justwannagetalong,

I haven’t been able to make this topic stick on these boards but I’ve wondered myself as to the likelihood our preferences lend themselves to personality disorders if we are not emotionally balanced. i.e. I suspect an ENFP’s preferences may lend themselves more easily to BPD or a BPD sub-category than another type. Or the ENFP could easily lend itself to a co-dependent diagnosis. Just playing around here but I wonder if a study has been done about types and disorders?

I’ve found I type differently at work than I do away from work.  My “T” function kicks in at work because I need it.

I also typed differently in my marriage than I do now. Not a very good thing because I didn’t have an opportunity to be more of my preferred natural type/self, my Feeling function.  I still needed to call upon my Thinking function for that relationship.

This is once again different to the degree we prefer in which to see the world even if we type the same. That is perhaps why two people with the same typing could eventually get bored or feel invalidated if sharing the same typing. the stronger same prefernces amy win out leaving the weaker asmed prefernces feeling a bit discounted. Not enough contrast to keep things interesting.  Keiersey states that it’s the second function, the N or S that is the most important for lasting relationships while the other 3 preferences can be different. Our preferences are not static and can change over time as I think Jung suggested. (Just an FYI.)

I know the original thought was for the FOO.  However, there may be similarities among us Nons in spite of similar FOO or in addition to FOO.

Keirsey temperament is an interesting site worth checking out.  Maybe some are already familiar with this site.  I found it insightful.

Best,

R1

[survivorof2]

This is interesting:

INFJ also.

[Ankakusu]

INFJ!

[Crazy Love]

You have no idea how many times I've wondered about the answer to this same question!  Have made a similar post that did not gather much steam.

Thanks for starting a post.

I'm INTJ (Mastermind).  uBPDw is ENFP (Champion).  Per many "experts,"  (including Kiersey) this is the ideal match for an INTJ.

Guess Kiersey did not factor in the influence of BPD.

I've typed the same for over 30 years.

[marlo6277]

Justwannagetalong,

I took the test a few yrs ago at work as well and I'm still the same - ESTJ.

I always score the same, but I am always so close (like 60/40 or 55/45 split) for S/N and T/F... .S and T always win out though.

What might be important to note though is I am a non-non.  :)H's Ex wife is uBPD, so my interaction with her is limited.  THANK GOD!

[UKannie]

INFJ 

[LavaMeetsSea]

ENFP here, married to another ENFP.  When I was younger, I tested as ENFJ, but as I got older I started chafing at schedules and plans and now prefer more tentative, "probing" modes.

I have no idea what my mother would test as; I'm hesitant to profile any kind of mental disorder based on a multiple-choice test.  I do think growing up with someone with BPD requires more intuition, so may make a person more likely to cultivate traits leading to an N versus an S, but at that point, what's natural personality versus learned behavior?  Does it even matter?  Hard to know.

Still, for being the rarest of the four "types", there do seem to be an awful lot of idealists here.  Makes one wonder if it's a reaction to a BPD upbringing, or if we're just more likely to be interested in internet forums and personality tests.   

[worriedmom]

INFJ

It's almost eerie reading the description and how accurate it is. The list of careers, yup, that's me, the first four. Went to college to be a librarian, graduated with a MSW, first job was teaching job skills to the handicapped then teaching the teachers and doing outreach which required an extensive knowledge of the law. wow

[fleur d argent]

INFJ on the real Myers-Briggs test

INFJ = "counselor"

i'm in grad school to be a counselor, so that seems to be spot on!

[tryintogetby]

ENFP! Married to an INTJ.

I've frequently wondered if people with a "N" on the Myers-Briggs would be more sensitive to the assault on the sense of self that a BPD parent would give.  I'm so glad you brought this up. 

[tryintogetby]

Oh! and my INTJ husband is a non-non as well.

[david]

INTP here. It says INTP likes math and would like to restore an automobile. Funny, I had an auto repair business for twenty years and now I am a math teacher.

[Cordelia]

INFJ!

This totally blows my mind.

[StillChasing]

ENFJ.  It's extremely interesting how many INFJ's there are here, especially considering INFJs are only supposed to be 1-2% of the population.  Makes you wonder if it takes a certain special person to be able to cope with a loved one with BPD.

[tryintogetby]

"N's" are supposed to be about 25% of the population, though.  Highly empathetic people!  Who else would so frequently fall victim to a BPD than someone who honestly can feel the other person's pain?

[rescue1]

ENFP here…Still, for being the rarest of the four "types", there do seem to be an awful lot of idealists here.  Makes one wonder if it's a reaction to a BPD upbringing, or if we're just more likely to be interested in internet forums and personality tests.

I wonder if it’s as simple - although we’re so complex as human beings – as we learned to create an atmosphere in our FOO that helped us survive…an ideal atmosphere. So hard to tell what’s nurture vs nature.  I wonder if I took away the borderline traits of my mother then hypothesized what my life would be like without someone who portrayed the waif mother.  I wonder what I would type as then? I don’t think I’d be rescuing like I used to. I don’t think I’d be such a caretaker.

I do think growing up with someone with BPD requires more intuition, so may make a person more likely to cultivate traits leading to an N versus an S, but at that point, what's natural personality versus learned behavior?  Does it even matter?  Hard to know.

I think you’re right about the “N” though.  Living in an abusive home I often needed to gauge the reactions of my father in order to curtail his physical abuse.  That was learned.  I don’t think any child should spend their time calculating/interpreting each gesture, each tone and each facial expression to see if they we’re about to get hit. My understanding is that it’s a combination of nature and nurture.

I've frequently wondered if people with a "N" on the Myers-Briggs would be more sensitive to the assault on the sense of self that a BPD parent would give.

I wonder why some people are more responsive, more emotionally present than others. If I’ve spent years interpreting my home environment as a child, I think that “N”, the responsiveness, the anticipation to environmental cues was learned earlier and quicker and is now a honed  skill. The assault on my sense of self is activated the closer I am to the person I love or think I love.  I think they owe me something like being a good parent or a caring partner. For those of us that still suffer from these assaults to our sense of self there’s always therapy, this community and books!

[love2007]

INFJ too. Its amazing how much we all have in common.

[Poupoune1]

INFJ here as well... .I had never taken that test before and am amazed at its accuracy!

[MyAimIsTrue]

INTJ who married an INTJ.  We're both "engineer" types.  You should see all of the "inventions" in our house.  Lots of appliances have been jury rigged.  Very direct household.  We have fun though... .if it "makes sense."   

[Claire]

INFJ! (i've taken the real test multiple times)

There are a lot of us on here. I wonder what this could mean... .

[DorothyFromOz]

ENFJ ("teacher" or "mentor" on every Meyers-Briggs test I've ever taken. Am I correct that every single one of us who has responded to this thread and was raised by a BP is an N? That's Veeery Interestink.

[waybird]

Holy cow... .I'm an INTJ, too. 

This is amazing.  What does this say about how having a BPD parent has shaped our personalities?  There simply must be a study out there on this somewhere... .   

[tryintogetby]

Wow... .ok, I have a slightly different theory.

I have a close friend who is an ISFJ. He's CONSTANTLY in relationships with needy, dependent types.  He's one of the most enabling people I've ever met in my life.  He would literally give you the shirt off his back.  And I'm 99% certain that his father is a PD of some sort. 

His reaction? He doesnt' fight it. He sees it as hopeless.  He doesn't try and improve it.  "That's just how so-and-so is."  He doesn't rock the boat.  He totally latched on to me and INTJ hubby as mentors, then we later became friends. 

I'm wondering if the enmeshed FOO are more likely to be "s" types, and those of use who get OUT are more likely to be "n" types. NF's are very focused on "becoming" who they are, and NT's are very focused on "acquiring mastery of skills", so it seems like these two types would be the ones who would say, "My mom is crazy, I need to know how to deal with her." 

Thoughts on this theory?

[stellaris]

ENTJ - though both the E and the J were expressed with just 1% preference.  Last time I took this I scored INTJ.  Being more extroverted is something I've been working on a long time too.  Very interesting... .

[tuibird75]

It's been awhile since I've taken the test but I always came out INFP.

[CTJ-GEM]

INTJ