Self reflection. Take a look. Take the test. What are your results?

[Skip]

The test contains 48 questions. It is free.
Please enter your score in the survey at the top of this thread!

What is personality? Carl G. Jung's theory of psychological types [Jung, 1971] is the principle behind what we have all come to know as personality types. Jung created three scales and asserted that people either score high or low on each. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, added a fourth scale [Briggs Myers, 1980] when developing the Myers–Briggs Personality Type Indicator - a tool used by organizations around the world to help people understand and work through the inherent conflicts that develop when certain personality types interact.

We have had a lot of discussion about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® over the years. Many of us are familiar with it.  As you know, this is a personality profiling tool that was originally developed for the workplace but its use has been expanded to examine the natural compatibility of couples and of family members.
 
It will be interesting to see what we can learn about ourselves, our incompatibilities with others, and maybe even something about our community overall here at bpdfamily.
Preliminary Survey Results

May 20, 2011
 
Sensing [73% of US population/ 18% of bpdfamily participants]
 
Paying attention to physical reality, what I see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. I’m concerned with what is actual, present, current, and real. I notice facts and I remember details that are important to me. I like to see the practical use of things and learn best when I see how to use what I’m learning. Experience speaks to me louder than words.
 
Intuition [27% of US population/ 82% of bpdfamily participants]
 
Paying the most attention to impressions or the meaning and patterns of the information I get. I would rather learn by thinking a problem through than by hands-on experience. I’m interested in new things and what might be possible, so that I think more about the future than the past. I like to work with symbols or abstract theories, even if I don’t know how I will use them. I remember events more as an impression of what it was like than as actual facts or details of what happened.


 
See list of all self-assessment surveys

[ekans]

Hey, I have taken the test and I am a INTP.

ekans

[elphaba]

INFJ

I guess I try to appear alot harder than I am (several people here have pointed that out to me)...

[tengu]

Try being an ESFP around a BPD.

"ESFPs have very strong inter-personal skills, and may find themselves in the role of the peacemaker frequently. Since they make decisions by using their personal values, they are usually very sympathetic and concerned for other people's well-being. They're usually quite generous and warm. "


I am a giver, she is a taker, I need to socialize and be around people, she ran all my friends off and tried to keep me tied to the sofa. I always want to help people, and she continually used me as her lacky.

[Oy-vey!]

ENFJ.  I did it in about 5 seconds - and that is the same result I got when I took the full-length test many years ago.  2.5% of the population.  Oy - I'm a minority unto myself!

[Bish]

I is an ESFP 

[Pinnacle]

WHOA, I'm an ESFP too.

Puddin

[Bair]

INTP the P and J are nearly equal.  That means I will make a list and resent myself for it.

I still think one can apply logic to BPD.  To be sure, it is not normal logic.  Take a weak sense of self, such that you cannot accept that you screwed something up.  Attack, manipulate and brow beat the non so they see they are at fault... .(what ever it takes to protect ones sense of self)  Throw in a dash of projection and roll the dice.  Einstein (famous INTP) was wrong.  In the BPD universe, God does play with dice.


.

[pulsar]

I am a non and:

Extroverted (E) 52.78% Introverted (I) 47.22%

Intuitive (N) 58.82% Sensing (S) 41.18%

Feeling (F) 57.58% Thinking (T) 42.42%

Perceiving (P) 60% Judging (J) 40%


I did this about three years ago, shortly after I met my BPDXW and got almost identical results.

P

[thomaso61]

I'm an ESTJ

[geroldmodel]

ESTP

Well I did this test a couple of times before... .

and the only thing that is always the same is the T from Thinking and the S from Sensing

So I am a

*ST* 

[Venzen007]

We did this in pre-marriage counselling, actually.

INTJ

I was told the test results were very balanced on the I/E and J/P distinction, more clear leaning in the T direction, with the N being almost one-sided.

[Moving On]

INTP here too.  Quite accurate, from reading the description in the other web site.

Scary, as a matter of fact.

[nicole]

INTJ here.  Hey, Venzon007!

My I is nearly balanced with my E, too.

[Painful]

I've taken this test for years.  Was always an INTP.  Recently changed to an INTJ.  J and P were alwasy close.

I agree with Blair and believe you can apply logic to BPD.  I believe this has alot to do with my tendency to become a doormat.

Ironically, my suspected BPD wife is an ENFJ.  Some descriptions say they are master manipulators  ?.

ugh... .

Hello to all my INTJ/P friends!

[csandra]

OK, I'm an INFP with a uNPDstbxh and s19 and d16.  Just think, a few months ago, I would have needed an interpreter to read my first sentence.  Apparently, I represent 4.4% of the population... .no argument there !

[teacherfriend]

Do any of you know your MBPI results?  I am an ENFJ. 

Just wondering if a certain type of person is more apt to be attracted to those with BPD and others who "need" us.

[free]

Skip, I'm an INFP. You pose an interesting question here. These are some of the traits of INFP's that might me incompatible with my exBPD:

INFPs, more than other intuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives?  

Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante.

INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right.

[GaGrl]

I maintain a certification for MBTI and use it extensively in executive and career coaching.  I'm an ENFP.

I'm not sure about the predeliction of a particular type to "fall" for someone with NPD or BPD behaviors.  NFPs definitely are idealistic, but that doesn't seem to be enough to explain why someone ends up with a personality-disordered person.  My husband (INTJ) was the non -- I'm the secondary non -- so it isn't appicable to us.

Any type of validated Jungian-based personality test presents up front that it will NOT measure two things -- maturity and mental health.  I put personality disorders in the mental health category.

In debriefing MBTI or in other types of coaching, I try to be very cognizant of the line between the need for coaching and the need for therapy, and I have several sources for referrals if it tips into the latter.

One thing that one finds with INFPs (in our house, that would be my son and my husband's younger daughter) is that under stress, they go directly to the worst case scenario.  They also tend not to have a breadth of friends but rather focus their relationships on a very few deep friendships.

It may be that it has less to do with whom an INFP is attracted to than to the way the personality type INFP charactertics and how they would manifest in any relationship with anyone, mentally healthy or not.

[Peace4us]

I too am an ENFJ.

True Colours I am an almost 50/50 blue-orange

I do think personality plays a huge role in whom we choose and whom chooses us, so yes, in the romantic or friendship BPD possible relationship it can be a factor.

BUT for those like myself that have had a parent showing BPD behaviour our personalities are not a factor, but the development of those personalties may be existent because of that issue.

An interesting thought

Peace4us

[Skip]

Definitions!  These are helpful references.  

I've taken the test many times in the past, but I never realized that it was based on Carl Jung's work.  Apparently the roots of this test come from the 1921 book Psychological Types.  Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers distilled this work down to a personal inventory test during World War II believing that a knowledge of personality preferences would help women who were entering the industrial workforce to identify the sort of war-time jobs where they would be "most comfortable and effective".   This initial questionnaire eventually grew into the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which was first published in 1962. The MBTI focuses on normal populations and emphasizes the value of naturally occurring differences.



Extraversion or Introversion (E)

Extraversion (E)

I like getting my energy from active involvement in events and having a lot of different activities. I’m excited when I’m around people and I like to energize other people. I like moving into action and making things happen. I generally feel at home in the world. I often understand a problem better when I can talk out loud about it and hear what others have to say.

The following statements generally apply to me:

   I am seen as “outgoing” or as a “people person.”

   I feel comfortable in groups and like working in them.

   I have a wide range of friends and know lots of people.

   I sometimes jump too quickly into an activity and don’t allow enough time to think it over.

   Before I start a project, I sometimes forget to stop and get clear on what I want to do and why.

Introversion (I)

I like getting my energy from dealing with the ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside my head, in my inner world. I often prefer doing things alone or with one or two people I feel comfortable with. I take time to reflect so that I have a clear idea of what I’ll be doing when I decide to act. Ideas are almost solid things for me. Sometimes I like the idea of something better than the real thing.

The following statements generally apply to me:

   I am seen as “reflective” or “reserved.”

   I feel comfortable being alone and like things I can do on my own.

   I prefer to know just a few people well.

   I sometimes spend too much time reflecting and don’t move into action quickly enough.

   I sometimes forget to check with the outside world to see if my ideas really fit the experience.

Sensing or Intuition    

    

The second pair of psychological preferences is Sensing and Intuition. Do you pay more attention to information that comes in through your five senses (Sensing), or do you pay more attention to the patterns and possibilities that you see in the information you receive (Intuition)?

Everyone spends some time Sensing and some time using Intuition. Don’t confuse Sensing with sensual. They aren’t related.

Take a minute to ask yourself which of the following descriptions seems more natural, effortless, and comfortable for you?

Sensing (S)

Paying attention to physical reality, what I see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. I’m concerned with what is actual, present, current, and real. I notice facts and I remember details that are important to me. I like to see the practical use of things and learn best when I see how to use what I’m learning. Experience speaks to me louder than words.

The following statements generally apply to me:

   I remember events as snapshots of what actually happened.

   I solve problems by working through facts until I understand the problem.

   I am pragmatic and look to the “bottom line.”

   I start with facts and then form a big picture.

   I trust experience first and trust words and symbols less.

   Sometimes I pay so much attention to facts, either present or past, that I miss new possibilities.

Intuition (N)

Paying the most attention to impressions or the meaning and patterns of the information I get. I would rather learn by thinking a problem through than by hands-on experience. I’m interested in new things and what might be possible, so that I think more about the future than the past. I like to work with symbols or abstract theories, even if I don’t know how I will use them. I remember events more as an impression of what it was like than as actual facts or details of what happened.

The following statements generally apply to me:

   I remember events by what I read “between the lines” about their meaning.

   I solve problems by leaping between different ideas and possibilities.

   I am interested in doing things that are new and different.

   I like to see the big picture, then to find out the facts.

   I trust impressions, symbols, and metaphors more than what I actually experienced

   Sometimes I think so much about new possibilities that I never look at how to make them a reality.

Thinking or Feeling    

    

This third preference pair describes how you like to make decisions. Do you like to put more weight on objective principles and impersonal facts (Thinking) or do you put more weight on personal concerns and the people involved (Feeling)?

Don’t confuse Feeling with emotion. Everyone has emotions about the decisions they make. Also do not confuse Thinking with intelligence.

Everyone uses Thinking for some decisions and Feeling for others. In fact, a person can make a decision using his or her preference, then test the decision by using the other preference to see what might not have been taken into account.

Take a minute to ask yourself which of the following descriptions seems more natural, effortless, and comfortable for you?

Thinking (T)

When I make a decision, I like to find the basic truth or principle to be applied, regardless of the specific situation involved. I like to analyze pros and cons, and then be consistent and logical in deciding. I try to be impersonal, so I won’t let my personal wishes--or other people’s wishes--influence me.

The following statements generally apply to me:

   I enjoy technical and scientific fields where logic is important.

   I notice inconsistencies.

   I look for logical explanations or solutions to most everything.

   I make decisions with my head and want to be fair.

   I believe telling the truth is more important than being tactful.

   Sometimes I miss or don’t value the “people” part of a situation.

   I can be seen as too task-oriented, uncaring, or indifferent.

Feeling (F)

I believe I can make the best decisions by weighing what people care about and the points-of-view of persons involved in a situation. I am concerned with values and what is the best for the people involved. I like to do whatever will establish or maintain harmony. In my relationships, I appear caring, warm, and tactful.

The following statements generally apply to me:

   I have a people or communications orientation.

   I am concerned with harmony and nervous when it is missing.

   I look for what is important to others and express concern for others.

   I make decisions with my heart and want to be compassionate.

   I believe being tactful is more important than telling the “cold” truth.

   Sometimes I miss seeing or communicating the “hard truth” of situations.

   I am sometimes experienced by others as too idealistic, mushy, or indirect.

Judging or Perceiving    

    

This fourth preference pair describes how you like to live your outer life--what are the behaviors others tend to see? Do you prefer a more structured and decided lifestyle (Judging) or a more flexible and adaptable lifestyle (Perceiving)? This preference may also be thought of as your orientation to the outer world.

Everyone extraverts some of the time. This pair describes whether you extravert (act in the outer world) when you are making decisions or when you are taking in information.

Some people interact with the outside world when they are taking in information. Whether they use the Sensing preference or the Intuitive preference, they are still interacting in the outside world.

Other people do their interacting when they are making decisions. It doesn’t matter whether they are using a Thinking preference or a Feeling preference; they are still interacting in the outside world.

Everyone takes in information some of the time. Everyone makes decisions some of the time. However, when it comes to dealing with the outer world, people who tend to focus on making decisions have a preference for Judging because they tend to like things decided. People who tend to focus on taking in information prefer Perceiving because they stay open to a final decision in order to get more information.

Sometimes people feel they have both. That is true. The J or P preference only tells which preference the person extraverts. One person may feel very orderly/structured (J) on the inside, yet their outer life looks spontaneous and adaptable (P). Another person may feel very curious and open-ended (P) in their inner world, yet their outer life looks more structured or decided (J).

Don’t confuse Judging and Perceiving with a person’s level of organization. Either preference can be organized.

Take a minute to ask yourself which of the following descriptions seems more natural, effortless, and comfortable for you?

Judging (J)

I use my decision-making (Judging) preference (whether it is Thinking or Feeling) in my outer life. To others, I seem to prefer a planned or orderly way of life, like to have things settled and organized, feel more comfortable when decisions are made, and like to bring life under control as much as possible.

Since this pair only describes what I prefer in the outer world, I may, inside, feel flexible and open to new information (which I am).

Do not confuse Judging with judgmental, in its negative sense about people and events. They are not related.

The following statements generally apply to me:

   I like to have things decided.

   I appear to be task oriented.

   I like to make lists of things to do.

   I like to get my work done before playing.

   I plan work to avoid rushing just before a deadline.

   Sometimes I focus so much on the goal that I miss new information.

Perceiving (P)

I use my perceiving function (whether it is Sensing or Intuition) in my outer life. To others, I seem to prefer a flexible and spontaneous way of life, and I like to understand and adapt to the world rather than organize it. Others see me staying open to new experiences and information.

Since this pair only describes what I prefer in the outer world, inside I may feel very planful or decisive (which I am).

Remember, in type language perceiving means “preferring to take in information.” It does not mean being “perceptive” in the sense of having quick and accurate perceptions about people and events.

The following statements generally apply to me:

   I like to stay open to respond to whatever happens.

   I appear to be loose and casual. I like to keep plans to a minimum.

   I like to approach work as play or mix work and play.

   I work in bursts of energy.

   I am stimulated by an approaching deadline.

   Sometimes I stay open to new information so long I miss making decisions when they are needed.







Information Pages in the Thread

Here is the link to the test      

Trait Definitions (Introversion, Extroversions, Sensing, Thinking, etc.) <click here>

Profiles Descriptions (ENTJ, ESTP, etc) <click here>

Compatibility Profiles <click here>

Incompatibility Profiles <click here>

Data Summary <click here>

[cult]

Skip,

I have heard that MB is a pseudo-scientific abstraction with little real value.

What I find interesting about all this is that my BP ex was a MB nut and would spend hours perusing MB books to determine her personality type, my personality type, and whether or not we were a compatible team. (It always came back as a perfect match, LOL).

Cult

[ForeverDad]

This question has been asked before, here are a few past topics on the subject.  I believe I am INFP.  I believe my stbxW was the opposite.  Scientifically, it has been questioned as to how reliable this test is.  While enlightening, some people can retest and come up slightly differently.  No doubt some of that is due to factors such as our natural tendencies (internal) and our environment (external).

Extroverted (E) 52.78% Introverted (I) 47.22%

Intuitive (N) 58.82%   Sensing (S) 41.18%

Feeling (F) 57.58%     Thinking (T) 42.42%

Perceiving (P) 60%     Judging (J) 40%

www.personalitypage.com/

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs

I have also heard of the Big 5 Personality Traits

These factors are Neuroticism, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, and Openness to Experience.

From the Five Factor Model (FFM): surgency, agreeableness, dependability, emotional stability, and culture.

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_five_personality_traits

[GaGrl]

There are numerous personality tests and tendency tests of all types.  I don't look at validity studies for training and coaching as harshly as I do for those used as hiring indicators.  Most of the time, I'm looking for a basis to start a conversation on whatever the person I'm coaching needs to talk about.

I do have a problem with people who excuse behaviors because "Oh, I'm this type, or that type."  Big difference between personality tendencies and chosen behaviors.

[qkslvrgirl]

I believe there is validity in trying to understand a BPD SO in light of how the MB's traits amplify the disfunctional dance.

My case in point: My uBPDh is very much the Thinking Judging type, and I am an Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving type. I realize that his negative BPD traits affect me too much because I run everything through a "meaning" filter. It tends to make me overly sensitive to many of his nonsensical comments or (re)actions.

We recently married after over five years as a couple (both in our 50's). We do not live together, as we have homes near each other, but we enjoy many activities together. I have committed to working on my own issues while mitigating the hurt inflicted by the BPD behaviors. Not easy, but I believe it is worth the effort.

[tengu]

I asked this very question on here a few months ago. I am a stereotypical ESFP, which I think BPD's must love. One of the comments I've seen describing ESFP's "whats yours is yous and what's theirs is yours". How bad is that attitude around a BPD who thinks "what's mine is min, and what's yours is mine". Got me into more trouble with my uBPDW.

[Painful]

I have taken the MBTI several times over the past 10 years.  I am a INTP that has always had a close P/J score.  Last time I test INTJ.

From the other posts that I have read on this, it does not appear that there is a correlation.  The types were all over the board.

otp

[scooter964]

I am an ISFJ, and he is an INTJ.  A bit ironic, I think, because BPDs are supposed to be the ones that are black and white thinkers, while my MBTI score indicates that about me.

[scooter964]

ISFJ is not one of the choices, but that is what I am.

[CharlyB]

It says I am a ESFJ

Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%

Sensing (S) 71.43% Intuitive (N) 28.57%

Feeling (F) 72.22% Thinking (T) 27.78%

Judging (J) 58.82% Perceiving (P) 41.18%

As you can see I'm 50/50 on the extrovert/introvert scale, which is right. At times I am extroverted, and other times introverted. Sensing definitely goes over intuition, but not much. Feeling way above thinking. I'm not sure about judging/perceiving.

[elphaba]

INFJ - looks like someone else here is too... .considering it is the most rare of all the types (only 1% of the population) I've just got to know who else scored the same as me.  who?

[csandra]

INTJ:  I 60.53  E 39.47

         N 56.82  S 43.18

         T 53.49  F  46.51

         J 57.58   P 42.48

[NewLifeforHGG]

I am an INFJ, elphie.

I am "I" but with a healthy E. Almost 50/50, but not quite.

[onlyscarsremain]

INTP:

Introverted (I) 69.7% Extroverted (E) 30.3%

Intuitive (N) 58.33% Sensing (S) 41.67%

Thinking (T) 55.26% Feeling (F) 44.74%

Perceiving (P) 64.71% Judging (J) 35.29%

"Architect". Greatest precision in thought and language. Can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. The world exists primarily to be understood. 3.3% of total population.

[abc]

The Duty Fulfiller - ISTJ

Loyal to a fault, that test pegged me pretty well, that also helps me understand why it is so hard to walk away from the abuse.

[comity]

INTJ, leaning strongly toward INTP.

I think we all have weaknesses that make us susceptible to influence, whatever type we are, though the weakness in question may vary with type. In my case, I know that I think quickly but feel slowly; feeling is definitely an inferior function for me. My emotions tend to trickle in slowly over time -- I might not perceive how I really feel about something until a week or two after an event.

What I recognized this year (thanks to my BPD) is that I have the bad habit of using "social proof" as a first draft of my emotional state -- if other people are sad or happy, I probably am too. That means I'm used to being something of an emotional sponge. Emotional sponge + "dramatic" personality disorder == bad news. I'd better knock that off!

[CrackedEgg1]

INTJ and proud of it, although I may not be anymore seeing that it's winning in the polls and does that signal a weakness to INTJ make up?

Or maybe it is our strength, that makes us more willing to deal with those with the problems that BPD folks have and like everyone else, we soon find ourselves out of juice after being sucked dry.

[comity]

I think it mostly signals that we INT types are on the internet a whole lot.

[BlackElf]

I think it mostly signals that we INT types are on the internet a whole lot.

Heh... .  Depends... .  There seems to be a higher than usual proportion of ENTP's as well... .  :D

[Matt]

I am INTJ like many others.

Ideas why so many on this board are INTJ?  (In addition to Internet comfort?)

Thanks.

Matt

[CrackedEgg1]

They say INTJ is rare, yet when I have done this on my own forum, INTJ was always a clear winner. When I was doing some work for a day-trading website, INTJ was off the scale (although I don't day-trade).

Two schools of thought... .a) INTJ's tend to be online more (as proposed earlier in the thread) or b) INTJ's tend to have unknowingly group together, sites they feel at home at... .sites that are less "fluff" and more practical.

I'm sure other BPD sites exist, but this one matches my personality. I suppose, if you look at it differently, J is for judging so maybe we tend to see things more quickly in others than other people do... .and we just want to get to the bottom of our sanity to make sure we are still on track, as we always thought we where.

[CrackedEgg1]

Well, I think that is what I was getting at.

We can't assume that INTJ's are more likely to be involved with a BPD, as there could be many factors involved on why more INTJ's are hanging out on this forum. Considering my experience in seeing INTJ's always in the majority of sites I frequent, I would venture to error on the side that this forum/atmosphere is suited to our preference, vs we are more involved in BPD's than other types.

If indeed it was shown that INTJ's where more likely to be involved with BPD folks, here is what one site says about us in relationships:

Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.

This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.

I think the "make sense" part is why we ware here, because nothing BPD's do makes sense to us. We can't "figure them out", we have tried all we can and our only hope is to go look for help elsewhere, like on this forum.

[Matt]

Thanks CE1 - that was the insight I was looking for.  Obvious now but not til you said it.

Regards,

Matt

[oceanheart]

INTP

I've taken this in the past a lot, and I've come up a lot with:

(X)NTP, where X = 50% of both categories, i.e., I'm both introverted and extroverted, and the scores tend to differ only by a few percentage points, unless I'm depressed and then it's "I". But I'm ALWAYS "N" - this last test, it was 100%.

As an aside, when I was 9/9 for the symptoms of BPD at 20 years old, I was definitely InFp, but as I've gotten older (36 now) and into recovery - 1-2/9 symptoms - my feeling score has balanced out with my thinking and I am usually pretty balanced in those, too!

[Christy2]

I'm also an INFP/ENFP (the E and I are so close its a tie!)  BUT my BPD husband is an INFP too - one of the reasons I thought we would be compatible!

You know, the funny thing is though - we ARE compatible enough to live comfortably with each other when he is not raging.  There is not alot of "spark" in our relationship which I think sometimes would be nice to have (but that is what the INFP description actually says would happen over time - kind of weird.)  But our basic value system is in line with each other - as long as he is not raging we make great roommates! 

Another blessing I should be counting... .

[SilentLucidity]

I'm an ENFP too.  Interesting pattern here

[another_guyD]

ISTJ here... .

[Bricolage]

I'm an INFP too.    My partner is INTJ.  (He's also a non, it's his mother who is uBPD & my parents have some BPD/NPD characteristics but fall well short of meeting diagnostic criteria).

I read somewhere once that INFP is only approx 1% of the population, and INTJ approx 3%.

[Isitme]

      I'm INFJ- Counselor Idealist.  Reportedly 2%.  It's surreal to take one of these assesments and have it spit out a description of you.  I wonder how Borderlines score?  If they are predominantly one type or if they have varied types like the rest of us?

[Patty]

ENFP.

I have taken it a few times and have always get the same result.

[Appalachian]

INFP too.

[hardatwork]

Annnnnnnnd... .another INFP here.

[loki8447]

I've always come up either INTJ or ENTJ.  I must be right on the edge of extrovert and introvert.  I have to admit, the designation fits.  What's funny is that my husband came up almost my polar opposite.  His strengths are my weaknesses.  It seems to work out well.

[Christy2]

I read that INFPs make up 5% - still plenty scarce! 

The NFP in us probably makes us ideal candidates for BPD spouses because when we see their issues we figure we can jump in and make it all turn out like a fairy tale. The STs or SJs would say siyanara fast!  But maybe not - if there are any STs out there, feel free to correct me.  Its a fun discussion.

My guess would be that BPDs don't fit any one personality type more than the other, because if they did, BPD would be a personality trait rather than a chemically based or psychologically based mental disorder.  But who knows?  It would be interesting to know.

[rockwood]

Found this about INFP:

Healer Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in striving for their ends, and informative and introverted in their interpersonal relations. Healers present a seemingly tranquil, and noticeably pleasant face to the world, and though to all appearances they might seem reserved, and even shy, on the inside they are anything but reserved, having a capacity for caring not always found in other types. They care deeply — indeed, passionately — about a few special persons or a favorite cause, and their fervent aim is to bring peace and integrity to their loved ones and the world.


Healers have a profound sense of idealism derived from a strong personal morality, and they conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place. Indeed, to understand INFP's, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. The INFP is the Prince or Princess of fairy tale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith, like Sir Galahad or Joan of Arc. Healers are found in only 1% of the general population, although, at times, their idealism leaves them feeling even more isolated from the rest of humanity.

TRANSLATION:  BPD BAIT!

[another_guyD]

I found a two more exhaustive tests and both stated I was an INTJ:

INTJ Strengths

    * Not threatened by conflict or criticism <==== FAIRLY TRUE, I DON'T MIND

    * Usually self-confident <=== ACCORDING TO THE SUBJECT (AKA NOT WITH A WOMAN)

    * Take their relationships and commitments seriously <=== ABSOLUTELY!

    * Generally extremely intelligent and capable <=== Others say I am this way.

    * Able to leave a relationship which should be ended, although they may dwell on it in their minds for awhile afterwards <=== VERY TRUE... .Till the BPD

    * Good Listeners <==== Very true... .at least people say so. Though I have changed some from BPD FLEAS maybe?

INTJ Weaknesses

    * Not naturally in tune with others feelings; may be insensitive at times <===== This has been said of me about my dealings with others, never my family

    * May tend to respond to conflict with logic and reason, rather than the desired emotional support <==== Till BPD I would very much agree with this... .what happened with her?

    * Not naturally good at expressing feelings and affections <=== I am introverted. I hold feelings till there is a "good time" to release.

    * Tendency to believe that they're always right <=== , I am wrong a lot and am happy to admit it... .perhaps I am stubborn though

    * Tendency to be unwilling or unable to accept blame < Actually there is something wrong here, usually I am the first to step forward.

    * Their constant quest to improve everything may be taxing on relationships <=== I do believe in constant improvement

    * Tend to hold back part of themselves  <==== Absolutely (introvert)

    * Interested in "optimizing" their relationships <===see improve

Interesting Test... .

Kinda vague, like a horoscope, though.

Questions are often situational, at least for me.

~AguyD

   

[LavaMeetsSea]

ENFP, married to another ENFP... .we have plenty of spark but sometimes being around someone that knows me as well as he does makes me feel majorly exposed or like I don't want to deal with myself/him, then guilty since he can tell that I'm getting annoyed, and naturally he takes that personally.   :  Other than that though, it's fantastic to be with a spouse that's so in tune with my habits and motives.  He "gets" me - our greatest strength and greatest irritant, right there. 

Ah Patty - I laughed and snorted.  Figures, doesn't it?  Keirsey describes us as eager puppies, sticking our noses in everything, tail-wagging, thoroughly friendly and distractible.  The eternal devil's advocate.  Capable of convincing people the sky is orange with our silver tongues.  (Actually, if you've studied the physics of light, it really IS.)  Strange there are so many of us, since NF's of any kind are assumed to be less than 10% of the population.  Makes me wonder if that particular skill set is conducive to either getting out, or participating in an internet support forum, or if we were forced to overdevelop a reliance on intuition and feelings by our upbringings, the same way a blind person may develop audio or olfactory capacities beyond the norm.  Interesting topic.

[NewLifeforHGG]

INFJ.

I am on the boarder of E though.

[Moving On]

INTP.  Fits me pretty well.

www.personalitypage.com/INTP.html

[onlyscarsremain]

I'm also an INTP

[Skip]

Here is a quick "cheat sheet" on the  profiles!   

ISTJ

Quiet, serious, earn success by thoroughness and dependability. Practical, matter-of-fact, realistic, and responsible. Decide logically what should be done and work toward it steadily, regardless of distractions. Take pleasure in making everything orderly and organized – their work, their home, their life. Value traditions and loyalty.

ISFJ

Quiet, friendly, responsible, and conscientious. Committed and steady in meeting their obligations. Thorough, painstaking, and accurate. Loyal, considerate, notice and remember specifics about people who are important to them, concerned with how others feel. Strive to create an orderly and harmonious environment at work and at home.

INFJ

Seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions. Want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others. Conscientious and committed to their firm values. Develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. Organized and decisive in implementing their vision.

INTJ

Have original minds and great drive for implementing their ideas and achieving their goals. Quickly see patterns in external events and develop long-range explanatory perspectives. When committed, organize a job and carry it through. Skeptical and independent, have high standards of competence and performance – for themselves and others.

ISTP

Tolerant and flexible, quiet observers until a problem appears, then act quickly to find workable solutions. Analyze what makes things work and readily get through large amounts of data to isolate the core of practical problems. Interested in cause and effect, organize facts using logical principles, value efficiency.

ISFP

Quiet, friendly, sensitive, and kind. Enjoy the present moment, what’s going on around them. Like to have their own space and to work within their own time frame. Loyal and committed to their values and to people who are important to them. Dislike disagreements and conflicts, do not force their opinions or values on others.

INFP

Idealistic, loyal to their values and to people who are important to them. Want an external life that is congruent with their values. Curious, quick to see possibilities, can be catalysts for implementing ideas. Seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential. Adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened.

INTP

Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical.

ESTP

Flexible and tolerant, they take a pragmatic approach focused on immediate results. Theories and conceptual explanations bore them – they want to act energetically to solve the problem. Focus on the here-and-now, spontaneous, enjoy each moment that they can be active with others. Enjoy material comforts and style. Learn best through doing.

ESFP

Outgoing, friendly, and accepting. Exuberant lovers of life, people, and material comforts. Enjoy working with others to make things happen. Bring common sense and a realistic approach to their work, and make work fun. Flexible and spontaneous, adapt readily to new people and environments. Learn best by trying a new skill with other people.

ENFP

Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency.

ENTP

Quick, ingenious, stimulating, alert, and outspoken. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems. Adept at generating conceptual possibilities and then analyzing them strategically. Good at reading other people. Bored by routine, will seldom do the same thing the same way, apt to turn to one new interest after another.

ESTJ

Practical, realistic, matter-of-fact. Decisive, quickly move to implement decisions. Organize projects and people to get things done, focus on getting results in the most efficient way possible. Take care of routine details. Have a clear set of logical standards, systematically follow them and want others to also. Forceful in implementing their plans.

ESFJ

Warmhearted, conscientious, and cooperative. Want harmony in their environment, work with determination to establish it. Like to work with others to complete tasks accurately and on time. Loyal, follow through even in small matters. Notice what others need in their day-by-day lives and try to provide it. Want to be appreciated for who they are and for what they contribute.

ENFJ

Warm, empathetic, responsive, and responsible. Highly attuned to the emotions, needs, and motivations of others. Find potential in everyone, want to help others fulfill their potential. May act as catalysts for individual and group growth. Loyal, responsive to praise and criticism. Sociable, facilitate others in a group, and provide inspiring leadership.

ENTJ

Frank, decisive, assume leadership readily. Quickly see illogical and inefficient procedures and policies, develop and implement comprehensive systems to solve organizational problems. Enjoy long-term planning and goal setting. Usually well informed, well read, enjoy expanding their knowledge and passing it on to others. Forceful in presenting their ideas.

Excerpted from Introduction to Type® by Isabel Briggs Myers published by CPP. Inc.



Information Pages in the Thread

Here is the link to the test       

Trait Definitions (Introversion, Extroversions, Sensing, Thinking, etc.) <click here>

Profiles Descriptions (ENTJ, ESTP, etc) <click here>

Compatibility Profiles <click here>

Incompatibility Profiles <click here>

Data Summary <click here>

[Moving On]

INTP

Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical.

I also did some reading on this page for INTP... .

www.mypersonality.info/personality-types/intp/

INTPs live in the world of theoretical possibilities. They see everything in terms of how it could be improved, or what it could be turned into. They live primarily inside their own minds, having the ability to analyze difficult problems, identify patterns, and come up with logical explanations. They seek clarity in everything, and are therefore driven to build knowledge. They are the "absent-minded professors", who highly value intelligence and the ability to apply logic to theories to find solutions. They typically are so strongly driven to turn problems into logical explanations, that they live much of their lives within their own heads, and may not place as much importance or value on the external world. Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding.

That explains, in a nutshell, why my marriage lasted 19 years  :D

[Bair]

INTP here.  P is slightly more dominant.   

[OMG ThatIsSoMe]

I come up almost 50-50 INFP and INFJ.

[thenextstep]

INFP here

[GaGrl]

Hi, guys --

I'm Myers-Briggs certified and use it extensively in executive and career counseling.

One aspect of the assessment that we must emphasize in debriefing results is that there are two elements NOT measured by the MBTI -- maturity and mental health.

[onlyscarsremain]

Another INTP description link  www.typelogic.com/intp.html (there's also links to all the other types at the top of this page)

Found this quite interesting though:

A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition. In this way INTPs are markedly different from INTJs, who are much more confident in their competence and willing to act on their convictions.

Maybe that's why I can't seem to give up the idea that I've missed something that would have allowed me to 'fix' it all and make everything ok again. It could also explain why I've had such a difficult time discerning what was FOG and what was real. I spent enormous amounts of time determining whether or not something was a plausible way to view a situation when she'd do something that didn't seem to make sense. Finally I just got overwhelmed with how many of those situations would come up and ended up spending the majority of my thought process trying to find an answer to it all. 

[oceanheart]

I've taken it bunches of times, and it varies - I'm both an I and an E at different times (I like solitude, but I'm also gregarious), I more than E.

100% P all the time

and usually split near 50/50 on the TF, tho feeling usually predominates

So, probably the most at INFP (and I'm not just saying that to fit in with the rest of y'all )

[merlin96]

Here is the link to the test       

Please enter your score in the survey at the top of this thread!

O.k.  I just took it and I scored as a INFJ.  Now I know (and so do you!)

[flamingo13]

Hi, guys --

I'm Myers-Briggs certified and use it extensively in executive and career counseling.

One aspect of the assessment that we must emphasize in debriefing results is that there are two elements NOT measured by the MBTI -- maturity and mental health.

Good point to note. Thank you for posting it as an important aspect when one ponders types.


'maturity and mental health'

Ain't that the truth. A non-mentally healthy (read mentally ill; read me) INTJ is not a pretty sight. The very strengths in one's personality can become their enemy.

Case in point, me. Once very mentally healthy; I now work with a T to move from 'all logic' to re-integration of emotional thinking back into logical thinking. It appears that most emotional thinking has been supressed to such a point that the brain has and continues to operate almost completely on logic.

[Victorious]

INTP  - with an average 66/33 split across the board.

Reading the description I wonder if this is who I truly am at the core, or if this is what I've grown to be as coping mechanisms and nurture (or lack thereof)

[loki8447]

I now work with a T to move from 'all logic' to re-integration of emotional thinking back into logical thinking. It appears that most emotional thinking has been supressed to such a point that the brain has and continues to operate almost completely on logic.

My husband calls me Spock when I slip into this mode a bit too far.  I understand about the foo being worse than the single BPD you marry.  My exhusband was a lightweight when compared to my family.  Like yours, my family has a high intelligence.  Nuts and smart--not a happy thought.  If you don't mind keeping us posted with the not-too-personal details, I'd be interested to see how counseling is helping.  I've gone but am not currently going.  It takes me so long to warm up to someone that I'm not sure it made a huge dent in the overintellectualizing.  I did like the lady... .

[PDQuick]

ENFP- 1  25  38  56  here. Now what exactly does that mean?

[Interposed]

That's weird. I'm very strongly INFP on all four. Maybe we're just more likely to cruise self help message boards?

[LavaMeetsSea]

PDQ - I'm not great at linking, but there's already a link for ENTJ's or something that, if followed, will provide more information on ENFP's.  Really it's just taking people's habits and patterning those out to explain certain shared tendencies or characteristics; having said that, as an ENFP married to another ENFP with an ENFP best friend and an INFP therapist, I'm rather fond of most of the people I've met with those patterns, for what it's worth.  

www.personalitypage.com/html/ENFP_rel.html

According to the test, you're an extroverted, intuitive, feeling, probing sort of guy.  I'd agree with that.  You're an idealist in the sense that you strive for or embrace an "ideal" way of living or interacting with people, and I'd agree with that too.  You're a champion in the sense that you're expressive, willing to get involved in matters affecting others, and empathetic enough to give voice to their issues and be their advocate.  Still agreeing, based on what I've seen of you in your posts.  Also you tend to feel confined by too much structure and don't enjoy being a judge - you're much more interested in exploring and learning, in creativity and being present for an experience.  And... .well, again, based on what I know of you... .sounds pretty accurate.  And fairly cool.  As for what it MEANS means... .yes, ENFP's tend to be really philosophical as well, ... .anyway... .

[loki8447]

This links to an interesting little article about what being an introvert really means:

www.briankim.net/blog/2007/10/top-5-things-every-extrovert-should-know-about-introverts

[flamingo13]

Excellent link.

Yep, I am most certainly an eccentric introvert. I would not have attended my undergraduate graduation or even my white coat ceremony had the children not insisted. I rarely attend weddings, funerals, etc. It is not from social fear as I used to do presentations and public speaking (political activist) with little difficulty; rather I loath the time spent (I have to keep from 'clock watching' at purely social events) unless I find some interesting conversation to either listen or engage. Otherwise, I find a quiet corner and take a nap.  8)

Apart from the "small talk" part of the article, I found it to be pretty much dead on... .of course, any generalization will have its exceptions. However, true to the article, "small talk" eventually leads to deeper conversation otherwise I disengage.


Once again, excellent link.

[gingie]

INFP

[futurebright]

INFP also!

FB

[leo2000]

INTP as well, and arguing on both sides as well (playing devils advocate, you know).

Though not a psyhologist, I've analysed my WifeBPD to such an extent, that when I've became aware of BPD diagnosis after some 10 years - it hit home.

I have to mention, that "rationalization" (trying to make sense of everything) is also a defense mechanism - somewhat better then BPD's defenses. But hey - their defenses work best for them, so they are at least as good as ours!

[Skip]

Compatibility Profiles

There are 16 different Myers-Briggs types so there are 136 different type combinations that are compared in the book "Just Your Type" by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger (ISBN # 0-316-84569-8).  They also have a website which is:  PersonalityType.com.   The book talks about the joys and frustrations of every type combination.  It also offers advice on how to "reach" your partner.

Here is some topline information on incompatibility based on four preferred ways of social interacting dynamics.

Same Model One of the most reasonable explanation for good compatibility is the similarity of the people involved.

• ENTP most compatible with: ENTP



• ENTJ most compatible with: ENTJ



• ENFP most compatible with: ENFP



• etc.

Opposite Types Compatibility (Kersey)  To add more salt and pepper to the whole relationship thing, some experts have decided to go for the ‘opposites attract’ explanation, which is mainly based on exactly that: attraction.

------------------------------------------- ENTP most compatible with: ISFJ ENTJ most compatible with: ISFP ENFP most compatible with: ISTJ ENFJ most compatible with: ISTP ESTP most compatible with: INFJ ESTJ most compatible with: INFP ESFP most compatible with: INTJ ESFJ most compatible with: INTP

------------------------------------------- INTP most compatible with: ESFJ INTJ most compatible with: ESFP INFP most compatible with: ESTJ INFJ most compatible with: ESTP ISTP most compatible with: ENFJ ISTJ most compatible with: ENFP ISFP most compatible with: ENTJ ISFJ most compatible with: ENTP

Main Cognitive Function Compatibility Model  One view on Jungian compatibility suggests that types with inverse main cognitive functions are best suited for each other.

------------------------------------------------------------------------- ENTP (main function Ne) most compatible with: INTJ, INFJ ENTJ (main function Te) most compatible with: INTP, ISTP ENFP (main function Ne) most compatible with: INFJ, INTJ ENFJ (main function Fe) most compatible with: INFP, ISFP ESTP (main function Se) most compatible with: ISTJ, ISFJ ESTJ (main function Te) most compatible with: ISTP, INTP ESFP (main function Se) most compatible with: ISFJ, ISTJ ESFJ (main function Fe) most compatible with: ISFP, INFP

------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTP (main function Ti) most compatible with: ENTJ, ESTJ INTJ (main function Ni) most compatible with: ENTP, ENFP INFP (main function Fi) most compatible with: ENFJ, ESFJ INFJ (main function Ni) most compatible with: ENFP, ENTP ISTP (main function Ti) most compatible with: ESTJ, ENTJ ISTJ (main function Si) most compatible with: ESTP, ESFP ISFP (main function Fi) most compatible with: ESFJ, ENFJ ISFJ (main function Si) most compatible with: ESFP, ESTP

Secondary Function Compatibility Model  Lenore Thomson’s ideas from her book “Personality Type: An Owner’s Manual” - without a properly working secondary function, we are trapped, either in our inner subjective worlds (introverted types) or in our outer, objective environment (extroverted types). We need to develop both of these perspectives in order to have a healthy psychological life, and that’s exactly what our second function can help us do.

This compatibility system is focused on how well the 2nd function of each partner’s type is balanced by the relationship.

ENTJ ( 2nd function Ni) most compatible with: INTJ, INFJ, ISTJ

/ least compatible with : ESTP, ESFP, ENFP

ENTP (2nd function Ti) most compatible with: INTP, ISTP, INFP

/ least compatible with : ESFJ, ENFJ, ESTJ

ENFJ (2nd function Ni) most compatible with: INFJ, INTJ, ISFJ

/ least compatible with : ESTP, ESFP, ENTP

ENFP (2nd function Fi) most compatible with: INFP, ISFP, INTP

/ least compatible with : ESTJ, ENTJ,ESFJ

ESTJ (2nd function Si) most compatible with: ISTJ, ISFJ, INTJ

/ least compatible with : ENTP, ENFP, ESFP

ESTP (2nd function Ti) most compatible with: ISTP, INTP, ISFP

/ least compatible with : ESFJ, ENFJ, ENTJ

ESFJ (2nd function Si) most compatible with: ISTJ, ISFJ, INFJ

/ least compatible with : ENTP, ENFP, ESTP

ESFP (2nd function Fi) most compatible with: ISFP, INFP, ISTP

/ least compatible with : ESTJ, ENTJ, ENFJ

INTJ (2nd function Te) most compatible with: ENTJ, ESTJ, ENFJ

/ least compatible with : ISFP, INFP, ISTP

INTP (2nd function Ne) most compatible with: ENTP, ENFP, ESTP

/ least compatible with : ISTJ, ISFJ, INFJ

INFJ (2nd function Fe) most compatible with: ENFJ, ESFJ, ENTJ

/ least compatible with : INTP, ISTP, ISFP

INFP (2nd function Ne) most compatible with: ENFP, ENTP, ESFP

/ least compatible with : ISTJ, ISFJ, INTJ

ISTJ (2nd function Te) most compatible with: ENTJ, ESTJ, ESFJ

/ least compatible with : INFP, ISFP, INTP

ISTP (2nd function Se) most compatible with: ESTP, ESFP, ENTP

/ least compatible with : INTJ, INFJ, ISFJ

ISFJ (2nd function Fe) most compatible with: ENFJ, ESFJ, ESTJ

/ least compatible with : INTP, ISTP, INFP

ISFP (2nd function Se) most compatible with: ESTP, ESFP, ENFP

/ least compatible with : INTJ, INFJ, ISTJ

[/color]



Information Pages in the Thread

Here is the link to the test       

Trait Definitions (Introversion, Extroversions, Sensing, Thinking, etc.) <click here>

Profiles Descriptions (ENTJ, ESTP, etc) <click here>

Compatibility Profiles <click here>

Incompatibility Profiles <click here>

Data Summary <click here>

[rileydog]

I'm _NFP. Right on the bubble between I & E. FWIW.

Interesting thread.

[Moving On]

Great post, Skip.  This thread has evolved a bit over time.  Spousal compatibility based on the results is a good topic. The "opposites attract" thing may be true - they attract, but... . can they get along?  

Of course, this thread will get locked before we can get very far... .we are past four pages. 

[Emmy]

I'm an ENFJ as of my last result, may have taken some previously that came out differently but can't remember the results. As for the "E" part, uBPDex liked to say, accusatorily, that I "had an active social life" (I do make a lot of friends but always have a core group of the same people as close friends and am certainly not a "party girl" by any means). I think he just had problems with the fact that I enjoyed and appreciated a lot of people, he said it made him feel like he wasn't special (despite... .well, many, many things I won't go into )

Someone down the thread mentioned E's compared to I's in terms of "gullibility". I'm not sure what I think about that yet but I do remember when I met uBPDex's "ex-gf "(a non) in person and we had been hanging out only for like 3 hours, she looked at me and said "You will get out of this a lot faster than I did or ever will. You're too smart." I don't think "smart" has anything to do with it, but I've always thought she meant "smart" in terms of "less gullible". Hmmm... .?

[AKnightInTheMaking]

ENFP here... .


I can so relate to the intuitive abilities of reading people.  Actually so much of me runs on intuition.  I notice it the most at those times in my life where it was required (by choice) in order to stay alive but even even in calm relaxed moments.  For example, I grew up on motorcycles and snowmobiles all my life.  I actually love the feeling of letting my conscious thinking go and reach out with my intuition and 'feel' what it is that I need to do.  It's hard to describe I guess.  But when you are doing 150 mph on a CBR929 racing down the highway going 80mph faster than the fastest car driving you don't really have time to reason out what you are going to do.  Picking the right line through the cars or through the woods... .and blessed with guardian angels that can fly 160mph I guess.

It seems like I just know where cars are or where they are going.  Where the tree is and what angle I have to tip the bike at to do what I need.  My brother is even more amazing with machinery.  He can ride wheelies, while shifting gears and passing cars.  Can take a 4x4 at through the woods on a two-track like I have never seen.  Just so happens he is a crane operator too.  Just runs in the family.


My mother is also extremely intuitive.  She actually has had several premonitions of events where loved ones where in extreme danger at the exact time it took place.  Kinda freaky.


Actually, its that global information identifcation/sorting/structuring and a decent IQ (132) that have allowed me to be so successful in management... .even though I went to school for engineering (stupid high school counselor suggestion... .I hate math but I love science and creative arts).  Oh!  You like science?  Well go for engineering they make good money.  Really?  Ok!

But the BP completely flew under my radar.  And I think that is the Idealist getting in the way.  I was so naive.  She was just able to tap into a core hurt of mine and exploit it very well.  Bleh... .codependency crap.

-Knight

[tryintogetby]

Another bpdfamily.com member just PM'd me the most interesting phrase: "BPD is not intuitive." 

Hmmm... .when I do a myers-briggs personality test, I come up as strongly intuitive vs. sensing, which means that I "pay more attention to the patterns and possibilities that (I) see in the information (I) receive" as oppossed to "information that (I) receive through my five senses." 

Hmmm... .if BPD is not intuitive... .if I have to rely more on what facts I see through my senses (she's out of control, she's raging, she's manipulating AGAIN, and she's not going to change, etc) than patterns and possibilites (she only rages when I do things wrong, she says she'll change when THIS happens, etc) then I have a theory:  I may stay in the relationship longer, or justify the things she does to me, or even identify with her and take her side!

Here's a list of intuitive vs sensing traits.  Tell me what you think.

www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/sensing-or-intuition.asp

Lots of Love,

TTGB

[nevermore]

I am intuitive.

[Coral]

Meyer-Briggs is an outstanding instrument that I use extensively in business.  However, as with any test of its type, (non-therapeutic instruments), the results are not particularly valuable for people with mental illness or mental disorders.  The MMPI is a much better instrument for such individuals.  The MB is a non-judgmental instrument, meaning it applies no right/wrong, good/bad, appropriate/inappropriate judgments in its findings.  What happens is that the mental disorder, such as BPD, narcissism, anti-social, etc.,  overrides the MB results.  The MB language, which was based on the research of Carl Jung, is also very misleading.  As an example, the fourth quadrant, P/J, which stands for Perceptive or Judgment, actually has nothing to do with how those words are commonly used.  My BPD would score off the chart in P - which actually has to do with time, deadlines, non-linear thinking and not perception as we use the word "perception".  If you just looked at her P score, and didn't understand the instrument, you'd erroneously think that my BPD sister was the most "perceptive" person in the world.  In fact, she has less perception than a turnip. 

We all know that the BPD's in our lives are extremely judgmental; it's part of the disorder.  However, "judgment" in the MB refers to time usage, linear thinking, progressive -step-by-step - approach.  A high J (in the MB) is always on time, stairsteps to solutions, and sees time as linear. 

The N in the MB refers to conceptual thinking and the S refers to concrete analysis.  --- frankly, both of those concepts are horribly distorted in BPD. 

[justwannagetalong]

I took the myers briggs personality test and wondered if there would be similarities among us people with a similar family background.

We're all sorta searching to understand ourselves and I found this test and reading about my results pretty interesting! I've done it a few times in the past with a different result when I was younger and my perceptions of myself were probably more shaped by what I heard from my FOO

I'm thinking of getting someone who knows me intimately to also fill it out for me to see if the result would be the same.

Here is the link to the test       

I'm INFJ

-A

[elphaba]

INFJ here as well... .supposedly only 1-2% of population is INFJ

[harmony1]

i was tested years ago   I am an INFJ also 

[CrazyNoMore]

I tested last year as an INTJ.  Just took it again -- still an INTJ.  I was so intrigued by this description from a site that I cut and pasted it and saved it.  Unfortunately, I don't remember where it's from... .bolded emphasis is mine... .

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTJ

"This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private  people, and can often be naturally impassive  as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness."

Whan I think about it, most of what's bolded are fleas from my FOO.

Social rituals  were "silly".  Why would I need friends or social outlets when I had what I needed at home, which went no further than food, clothing, shelter, and academics.  Even now at 40, I'm a social dunce.

Extremely private.  I was raised with such a sense of shame about myself that I couldn't open up to anybody.

Impassive.  I learned early that showing emotions was BAD.  And, at times, dangerous.

Want people to make sense -- 'cause Lord knows my FOO didn't!

My husband describes me a "practical and pragmatic to a fault."  Never mind what I want.  What do I need?  Well, when you get down to it I don't need anything, do I?  I mean, as long as I have a roof over my head and food in the fridge and some clothing to put on, what else is there?  Drives him nuts trying to do Christmas shopping for me because I can't tell him what I want.  And when I do mention something, there's a long list of justifications that comes spilling out.  At this point, he just shakes his head.  But every year he gets me something related to an animal I collect.  Do I need another?  Nope.  And that's the point.  He gets it for me because I like it, and no other reason. 

[DeeEsse]

I have taken Meyers-Briggs numerous times but I don't always get the same result. I always get xNxP, and the percentages for the N and P are very solid, but the I/E and T/F are so close that I can take the test three times in one hour and come out INFP one time and ENTP the second and ENFP the third... .Even from reading the descriptions i'm not 100% sure which is right. I think my upbringing definitely has something to do with this.

I am extremely logical and analytical (T), but I also have very deep empathy and care a lot about people's feelings (F). I tend to think I'm a really a T, but that I've had to tune in to feelings to survive and also am confusing codependency with putting feelings first. In other words, if I wasn't so worried about people's feelings, I'd probably tend to weigh things out rationally. But then I just don't know if a T would cry at movies. 

I love being around people, am extremely talkative with people I feel safe with, and sometimes even enjoy being the center of attention at times (E) but I also find it exhausting, and really need my alone time (I). I tend to think that my nature is "E" but the social anxiety and lack of trust is what wipes me out. But I hate crowds, and prefer intimate social activities which really points to "I", so I honestly don't know.

[boarderchic]

ENTJ... was tested a couple of years ago through work.  When I've taken the on-line tests, it's always the same.  But, if you're getting different results, that may be because on-line tests are not the full Myer's Briggs test, and it is really supposed to be evaluated by someone trained in Myers-Briggs... not an on-line, automatic eval.

[rescue1]

justwannagetalong,

I haven’t been able to make this topic stick on these boards but I’ve wondered myself as to the likelihood our preferences lend themselves to personality disorders if we are not emotionally balanced. i.e. I suspect an ENFP’s preferences may lend themselves more easily to BPD or a BPD sub-category than another type. Or the ENFP could easily lend itself to a co-dependent diagnosis. Just playing around here but I wonder if a study has been done about types and disorders?

I’ve found I type differently at work than I do away from work.  My “T” function kicks in at work because I need it.

I also typed differently in my marriage than I do now. Not a very good thing because I didn’t have an opportunity to be more of my preferred natural type/self, my Feeling function.  I still needed to call upon my Thinking function for that relationship.

This is once again different to the degree we prefer in which to see the world even if we type the same. That is perhaps why two people with the same typing could eventually get bored or feel invalidated if sharing the same typing. the stronger same prefernces amy win out leaving the weaker asmed prefernces feeling a bit discounted. Not enough contrast to keep things interesting.  Keiersey states that it’s the second function, the N or S that is the most important for lasting relationships while the other 3 preferences can be different. Our preferences are not static and can change over time as I think Jung suggested. (Just an FYI.)

I know the original thought was for the FOO.  However, there may be similarities among us Nons in spite of similar FOO or in addition to FOO.

Keirsey temperament is an interesting site worth checking out.  Maybe some are already familiar with this site.  I found it insightful.

Best,

R1

[survivorof2]

This is interesting:

INFJ also.

[Ankakusu]

INFJ!

[Crazy Love]

You have no idea how many times I've wondered about the answer to this same question!  Have made a similar post that did not gather much steam.

Thanks for starting a post.

I'm INTJ (Mastermind).  uBPDw is ENFP (Champion).  Per many "experts,"  (including Kiersey) this is the ideal match for an INTJ.

Guess Kiersey did not factor in the influence of BPD.

I've typed the same for over 30 years.

[marlo6277]

Justwannagetalong,

I took the test a few yrs ago at work as well and I'm still the same - ESTJ.

I always score the same, but I am always so close (like 60/40 or 55/45 split) for S/N and T/F... .S and T always win out though.

What might be important to note though is I am a non-non.  :)H's Ex wife is uBPD, so my interaction with her is limited.  THANK GOD!

[UKannie]

INFJ 

[LavaMeetsSea]

ENFP here, married to another ENFP.  When I was younger, I tested as ENFJ, but as I got older I started chafing at schedules and plans and now prefer more tentative, "probing" modes.

I have no idea what my mother would test as; I'm hesitant to profile any kind of mental disorder based on a multiple-choice test.  I do think growing up with someone with BPD requires more intuition, so may make a person more likely to cultivate traits leading to an N versus an S, but at that point, what's natural personality versus learned behavior?  Does it even matter?  Hard to know.

Still, for being the rarest of the four "types", there do seem to be an awful lot of idealists here.  Makes one wonder if it's a reaction to a BPD upbringing, or if we're just more likely to be interested in internet forums and personality tests.   

[worriedmom]

INFJ

It's almost eerie reading the description and how accurate it is. The list of careers, yup, that's me, the first four. Went to college to be a librarian, graduated with a MSW, first job was teaching job skills to the handicapped then teaching the teachers and doing outreach which required an extensive knowledge of the law. wow

[fleur d argent]

INFJ on the real Myers-Briggs test

INFJ = "counselor"

i'm in grad school to be a counselor, so that seems to be spot on!

[tryintogetby]

ENFP! Married to an INTJ.

I've frequently wondered if people with a "N" on the Myers-Briggs would be more sensitive to the assault on the sense of self that a BPD parent would give.  I'm so glad you brought this up. 

[tryintogetby]

Oh! and my INTJ husband is a non-non as well.

[david]

INTP here. It says INTP likes math and would like to restore an automobile. Funny, I had an auto repair business for twenty years and now I am a math teacher.

[Cordelia]

INFJ!

This totally blows my mind.

[StillChasing]

ENFJ.  It's extremely interesting how many INFJ's there are here, especially considering INFJs are only supposed to be 1-2% of the population.  Makes you wonder if it takes a certain special person to be able to cope with a loved one with BPD.

[tryintogetby]

"N's" are supposed to be about 25% of the population, though.  Highly empathetic people!  Who else would so frequently fall victim to a BPD than someone who honestly can feel the other person's pain?

[rescue1]

ENFP here…Still, for being the rarest of the four "types", there do seem to be an awful lot of idealists here.  Makes one wonder if it's a reaction to a BPD upbringing, or if we're just more likely to be interested in internet forums and personality tests.

I wonder if it’s as simple - although we’re so complex as human beings – as we learned to create an atmosphere in our FOO that helped us survive…an ideal atmosphere. So hard to tell what’s nurture vs nature.  I wonder if I took away the borderline traits of my mother then hypothesized what my life would be like without someone who portrayed the waif mother.  I wonder what I would type as then? I don’t think I’d be rescuing like I used to. I don’t think I’d be such a caretaker.

I do think growing up with someone with BPD requires more intuition, so may make a person more likely to cultivate traits leading to an N versus an S, but at that point, what's natural personality versus learned behavior?  Does it even matter?  Hard to know.

I think you’re right about the “N” though.  Living in an abusive home I often needed to gauge the reactions of my father in order to curtail his physical abuse.  That was learned.  I don’t think any child should spend their time calculating/interpreting each gesture, each tone and each facial expression to see if they we’re about to get hit. My understanding is that it’s a combination of nature and nurture.

I've frequently wondered if people with a "N" on the Myers-Briggs would be more sensitive to the assault on the sense of self that a BPD parent would give.

I wonder why some people are more responsive, more emotionally present than others. If I’ve spent years interpreting my home environment as a child, I think that “N”, the responsiveness, the anticipation to environmental cues was learned earlier and quicker and is now a honed  skill. The assault on my sense of self is activated the closer I am to the person I love or think I love.  I think they owe me something like being a good parent or a caring partner. For those of us that still suffer from these assaults to our sense of self there’s always therapy, this community and books!

[love2007]

INFJ too. Its amazing how much we all have in common.

[Poupoune1]

INFJ here as well... .I had never taken that test before and am amazed at its accuracy!

[MyAimIsTrue]

INTJ who married an INTJ.  We're both "engineer" types.  You should see all of the "inventions" in our house.  Lots of appliances have been jury rigged.  Very direct household.  We have fun though... .if it "makes sense."   

[Claire]

INFJ! (i've taken the real test multiple times)

There are a lot of us on here. I wonder what this could mean... .

[DorothyFromOz]

ENFJ ("teacher" or "mentor" on every Meyers-Briggs test I've ever taken. Am I correct that every single one of us who has responded to this thread and was raised by a BP is an N? That's Veeery Interestink.

[waybird]

Holy cow... .I'm an INTJ, too. 

This is amazing.  What does this say about how having a BPD parent has shaped our personalities?  There simply must be a study out there on this somewhere... .   

[tryintogetby]

Wow... .ok, I have a slightly different theory.

I have a close friend who is an ISFJ. He's CONSTANTLY in relationships with needy, dependent types.  He's one of the most enabling people I've ever met in my life.  He would literally give you the shirt off his back.  And I'm 99% certain that his father is a PD of some sort. 

His reaction? He doesnt' fight it. He sees it as hopeless.  He doesn't try and improve it.  "That's just how so-and-so is."  He doesn't rock the boat.  He totally latched on to me and INTJ hubby as mentors, then we later became friends. 

I'm wondering if the enmeshed FOO are more likely to be "s" types, and those of use who get OUT are more likely to be "n" types. NF's are very focused on "becoming" who they are, and NT's are very focused on "acquiring mastery of skills", so it seems like these two types would be the ones who would say, "My mom is crazy, I need to know how to deal with her." 

Thoughts on this theory?

[stellaris]

ENTJ - though both the E and the J were expressed with just 1% preference.  Last time I took this I scored INTJ.  Being more extroverted is something I've been working on a long time too.  Very interesting... .

[tuibird75]

It's been awhile since I've taken the test but I always came out INFP.

[CTJ-GEM]

INTJ

[loki8447]

I seem to be on the edge of introvert and extrovert since I've come up INTJ and ENTJ. Normally INTJ.

[FinPublic]

I'm ENFP.

www.keirsey.com/4temps/champion.aspx

Champion.

Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social

I always wanted to be a public interest lawyer. Fight for kids who needed me. Instead put a huge amount of time into raising my kids as a single mom.

Then met my stbxH and fell in love in part because I thought I could use my ability to fight on his behalf. "Everyone was out to get him."

now I'm learning to fight on my behalf.

Sigh.

BC

[colonel]

INFJ and wow that's scarily accurate!

[my_memories]

For years, I was ENFP - but today, I got ENFJ?

I found that interesting, I thought my ENFP was pretty rock solid

[DeeEsse]

Just asked a friend with uNPD mom and uBPD dad... .and guess what: INFJ

[tryintogetby]

OK: can we take this experiment to OTHER forums we're members of, to get a comparison sample?  for example, take it to other forums that are relationally oriented (the goal is to relate to other people) and other forums that are geek-oriented (about a specific product, problem, solution, show, occupation (?) etc.) 

If we see a majority N on other forums, that may just mean that N's are more likely to be on forums.

If not... .then hmmm... .

[tryintogetby]

This is from the book "Please Understand Me" by Keirsey & Bates, on the MBTI:

"Although these [NF's] make up only about 12 percent of the general population... .their influence on the minds of the populace is massive, for most writers come from this group.  Novelists, dramatists, television writers, playwrights, journalists, poets, and biographers are almost exclusively NF's.  Technical and scientific writers tend to be NT's, but writers who wish to inspire and persuade, who produce literature, most often are NF's.  The questions which this group asks about the meaning of life, of their own lives, and what is significant for humankind, saturate fictional literature.  The theme of people in restless search of self runs through novel after novel, is voice by protagonist after protagonist, and is the source of agony in drama after drama." 

p. 61

[survivorof2]

Okay. I did something as an experiment. My original result was INFJ. I decided to take it as how I felt about myself while I was totally enmeshed with uBPD parents/family and being held hostage by them for over a decade. It was interesting in that while I took the test, I realized how in denial I was about who I really was then and what I really liked and didn't like and how I had NO freedom to be myself. The biggest thing I realized is how I didn't want to admit any weakness as I was told (projected upon) what my weaknesses were daily and sometimes hourly and by the minute. It wasn't safe to admit weakness around the uBPD family.

The experiment result of how I USED to think while with uBPD family: ESTJ  ?

I wonder if the results will continue to change as I continue to heal and redefine myself? Anybody else wonder that?

[waybird]

Thank you, stellaris, for the statistical breakdown.  What fabulous work!

survivorof2:  It is interesting that you mention your shift from "S" to "N."  About 12 or so years ago, when I was deeply enmeshed with my parents, I scored an ISTJ on this test.  Now, and consistantly for many years after I broke away from parents, I have scored an INTJ.  Maybe there is something about the "N" and the process one goes through to manage and find oneself apart from a BPD parent.  Stellaris alluded to this idea earlier.

[Claire]

I like Skip's stats    Really intriguing... .

Someone asked if anyone knew the meyers-briggs type of their BPD relation.  BPDMom is INFJ like me, and I think it's probably accurate (or was accurate at the time several years ago).  I'd previously taken that to mean that I was destined to become her because we have the same personality ... . But now I'm really excited to hear that a bunch of you guys have the same personality and you're wonderful and normal!

[Sara]

This is the first time I've seen this thread because, although I've been a member of bpdfamily.com since last year, this is the first time I've ever looked at this forum.

I am INFJ also. 

Since INFJ's are only 1%-2% in the total population, the abundance of them here--on this board--is obviously unexpected to me and I'm going to be doing much thinking about this in the future.

Great thread, and very possibly truly significant.

Thank you, justwannagetalong!

[Bunny]

ISTJ, although the S is very weak.

People who don't know me well are surprised I'm an introvert but after growing up with a BPD you get good at faking!

[geekgirl]

INTJ or INFJ, depending on the context and the time of day.

Interesting question!  I wonder if there is any statistical significance here?  We're a bit of a self-selecting population -- people who are connected to BPD's, aware of what the problem is, and trying to do something to understand and deal with the problem.  And does our connection with BPDs suppress certain personality traits and enhance others so we test similarly?  Or do our similar underlying personality traits help us to reach the point where we're dealing with the problem directly by all being here?

[waybird]

And does our connection with BPDs suppress certain personality traits and enhance others so we test similarly?  Or do our similar underlying personality traits help us to reach the point where we're dealing with the problem directly by all being here?

Ah, music to my ears, geekgirl.  These sound like the wonderful questions that an INTJ like me would ask! 

[geekgirl]

Ah, music to my ears, geekgirl.  These sound like the wonderful questions that an INTJ like me would ask!

The INTJ force is strong in my BDPFamily! 

I like Bunny's speculations.  I wonder if anyone has ever done a study on something like this?

[boarderchic]

I've looked at the statistics for our results.  The only statistically significant results are those for the INFJ's and INTJ's.  The remaining results are not statistically significant.  This means that if we were to take a random sample from the population that is the same size as the sample here, we could reasonably expect similar results for all the Myer's Briggs categories except INFJ and INTJ.  Part of this is the relatively small sample size.  For example, ENTJ's are only 1.8% of the population according to Wikipedia, but 5.7% of respondents here are ENTJ.  This seems like it would be significant.  But it's actually not.  If we had a random sample of the same size, instead of a bpdfamily.com sample, this would be a reasonable result even though it is nearly 3x greater than the percent of ENTJ's in the population.  This is a function of the small sample size - you can think of it as the statistics allowing greater variability around a population average when you have a small sample size, to take into account coincidence. 

Of course, this doesn't explain WHY these are over-represented categories.  People that post in forums might be more likely to be INFJ/INTJ, or non-enmeshed children of BPD's might be more likely to have these types.  We'd need some general data on people that post in forums and on "enmeshed" relatives (particularly children) to start to figure that out.

[UKannie]

Of course, this doesn't explain WHY these are over-represented categories.  People that post in forums might be more likely to be INFJ/INTJ, or non-enmeshed children of BPD's might be more likely to have these types.  We'd need some general data on people that post in forums and on "enmeshed" relatives (particularly children) to start to figure that out.

and of course people who choose to respond to this particular thread might be expected to have some common characteristics... .same goes for people in general who choose to take the Myers Briggs Test out of curiousity

[eeyore]

I've looked at the statistics for our results.  The only statistically significant results are those for the INFJ's and INTJ's.  The remaining results are not statistically significant.  This means that if we were to take a random sample from the population that is the same size as the sample here, we could reasonably expect similar results for all the Myer's Briggs categories except INFJ and INTJ.  Part of this is the relatively small sample size.  For example, ENTJ's are only 1.8% of the population according to Wikipedia, but 5.7% of respondents here are ENTJ.  This seems like it would be significant.  But it's actually not.  If we had a random sample of the same size, instead of a bpdfamily.com sample, this would be a reasonable result even though it is nearly 3x greater than the percent of ENTJ's in the population.  This is a function of the small sample size - you can think of it as the statistics allowing greater variability around a population average when you have a small sample size, to take into account coincidence. 

Of course, this doesn't explain WHY these are over-represented categories.  People that post in forums might be more likely to be INFJ/INTJ, or non-enmeshed children of BPD's might be more likely to have these types.  We'd need some general data on people that post in forums and on "enmeshed" relatives (particularly children) to start to figure that out.

Did you mean to omit the ENFJ's?  Actually we have the next higher incidence of them and statistically they are not common either?

[boarderchic]

The results for ENFJ's are not statistically significant, for this small, non-controlled study here on bpdfamily

My counts may be different than yours (was trying not to double-count, or count types that people report of their relatives or some other person in their life... wanted the sample to be adult children of BPD) but I counted 2 ENFJ's reported here that represent 5.7% of the total reported types.  Compared to the population percentage of ENFJ's, which is 2.4%, this seems like a significant difference, right?  Percentage wise, there is a much higher percentage of ENFJ here than in the population.  But statistically, this is insignificant.  The easiest way for me to say it is that statistically, given what we know about the percentage of ENFJ's in the overall population, the result here could be a coincidence and have no relation whatsoever to being a survivor of a BPD parent.  On the other hand, it is highly unlikely that the results for INTJ's and INFJ's are not related to some specific characteristic shared by the people posting on this thread.  Whether that characteristic is "survivor of a BPD parent" or "likely to post in a forum" or "likely to post in this thread" or "likely to take Myer's briggs" is unclear because we don't have enough data.  In general, we need bigger sample sizes and more groups to make these kinds of scientifically supportable statements.

 

[boarderchic]

Apparently, we're not the only people who wonder if Myer's briggs type is correlated with mental illness.  I couldn't find anything on BPD, specifically, but there are a few studies on other mental illnesses.  HEre are the highlights:


Ref: Janowsky, D. et al.  (1997).  Myers-Briggs Type Indicator differences between major depressive disorder and bipolar disorder patients.  Biological Psychiatry.

Fifty-five patients (34 with Major Depressive Disorder and 21 with Major Depressive Disorder with Substance Abuse or Dependence) were compared to normative data in 55,309 people.

The 55 patients showed significantly more cases who were Introverted (I), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), and Perceiving (P) than did the normative control group. Patients with Major Depressive Disorder were significantly over-represented as ISFJ and ISFP four-factor combinations. When compared to the normative data, Bipolar Disorder patients were significantly more Perceiving and numerically more often Intuitive, as well as significantly more Introverted-Perceiving (IP), and Intuitive-Perceiving (NP), than were controls. Significant differences were noted between patients with Major Depressive Disorder and Bipolar patients. Bipolar Disorder patients were significantly more Intuitive (i.e. 55.5% vs 25.4%) and less Sensing, and more likely to be Intuitive-Perceiving (NP) types than were patients with Major Depressive Disorder. The patient subgroup with Major Depressive Disorder plus Substance Disorder was over-represented as ISTP, ISFP, and INFP types. They differed dramatically from patients with “Pure Substance Abuse,” who resembled the normative population in being predominantly extroverted, thinking and judging four-factor types.

Ref:Mendelsohn 1962 Personality differences between students who do and do not use a counseling facility.  J. of Counseling Psychology

"Compared to the nonclient Ss, the students who seek counseling score less toward the judging side, more toward the intuitive side, less toward the feeling side and more toward the introversion side of the respective dimensions."

Ref: Janowsky 1996 The Myers Briggs Type Indicator and psychiatric diagnosis

The Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a Jungian based personality survey instrument, which is widely used in business, management, counseling, and educational circles. Its preference types correlate with the corresponding scales on the NEO-PI, which have been shown to be significantly genetically determined. Thus, the MBTI, if distinct in a given psychiatric diagnosis, may reflect underlying genetic/biologic variables. The MBTI divides individuals into eight preference types: Extroverted and Introverted, Sensing or Intuitive, Thinking or Feeling, and Judging or Perceiving. Application of the MBTI to clinical psychiatry has been virtually non-existent. In the current study, we evaluated a total of 123 psychiatric patients with a variety of diagnoses, and 17 outpatients with Social Phobia. All patients were assigned DSM II-R diagnoses. We especially focused on differences between Affective Disorder patients and others. We found that significantly higher numbers of patients with Major Depressive Disorder than in normative populations were introverted, sensing and feeling types. In contrast, Bipolar patients (most of whom were depressed), while similar to patients with Major Depression with respect to being introverted, feeling types, consisted predominantly of intuitive, as opposed to sensing types. In addition, patients who had both Major Depressive Disorder and Substance Abuse diagnoses had profiles which were very similar to patients who had Major Depressive Disorder alone. Also, we noted that Social Phobia patients showed extreme introversion, and were often judging types when compared to the Affective Disorder and Substance Abuse patients. The above findings may have implications for understanding the psychopathology of major mental disorders, and may have specific therapeutic and diagnostic implications.

[tryintogetby]

What *is* significant, though, is the "type" of person most often represented here.  The MBTI sub-divides the 16 personalities into 4 "types": NT, NF, SP, and SJ.  Those 4 types each have their own 4 sub-types.  So, an INFJ and ENFP are actually part of the same basic category, and have the same basic need to discover a "sense of self," but have different relationships to people and to planning. NT's, regardless of being I/E, or P/J, all hunger for "competence" or "mastery" in a set of skills.  *That* is what I believe is significant about our little representative sample. 

NF's only make up 12% of the population.  I don't know what it is for NT's but I believe it's actually *lower*.

[boarderchic]

Looking at the 4 sub-types, we can say the following about the statistical significance of the results:

The absence of ST and SF type is significant (they are underrepresented and it is likely not coincidence).

The presence of NF is significant (they are overrepresented and it is likely not coincidence).

Nothing can be said about NT's (incidentally, my type).  Based on the number of respondents and the % of NT's in the population, the result could be a coincidence - we could expect a similar result if we picked a random sample from the population.  We would NOT expect the same results for the other 3 sub-groups if we picked a random sample from the population.  

Note - I am commenting on the statistical significance of the results from a scientific perspective.  This is quantifiable and I've quantified it, although I'm not reporting those results for clarity's sake.  If anyone is interested, I could certainly explain the calculation used to draw these conclusions.  This is not a commentary on the personal significance you might take from this thread.  Only scientific, quantifiable, statistical significance.  Although for me, personal significance comes from scientific significance... can you tell I'm a scientist?  

From Wikipedia, I looked at the 16 types and put them in the 4 sub-groups for the following data:

------- ST SF NF NT

Population 30% 43% 16% 10%

bpdfamily.com 8% 10% 52% 30%

Of course, this all depends on the accuracy of Wikipedia.  I see different percentages reported here in the thread, e.g. 16% NF's, whereas I've calculated 52%.  Wikipedia has the following to say about their source:  

Estimated percentages of the 16 types in the American population using inferential statistics. The figures above are from a random sampling of 3009 people culled from a total pool of 16,000 using the 1998 MBTI Form M. The individuals whose form results were used in this random sampling were not provided with the data to verify or question their accuracy. But these numbers do provide a working base on which to build further understanding and development of the model as extrapolated to larger populations.

[waybird]

The 55 patients showed significantly more cases who were Introverted (I), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), and Perceiving (P) than did the normative control group

I find it fascinating that Janowsky's study shows more mental illness among ISFP, yet our bpdfamily study contains no ISFPs - at least not any reported ones in our sample.  The "S" seems fairly rare here, along with the "P."  Now, isn't that interesting?

[JGirl2]

I always come out ENFP  F and T are close but just slightly more F.

I even took a very extensive test on this at work (company paid a lot of money for the full battery of tests) many years ago because the director where I work thought it would really help people well together if they understood each other better.  I must of taken this test at least 40 times in the last 15 years and always have come out ENFP

I'm also green & Blue on the color test

[waybird]

Wow! Great summary. It would be great if those of us who are still in contact with our BPDs/uBPDs could find out their personality types.  I suspect their results would show an "S" and "P" tendency, although one lonely study doesn't prove anything.  Since I am NC, I cannot really just call up my mom and get these results; however, I am tempted to do so simply for the sake of knowledge.  

I suspect she would score high on the "P," but I would love to know for sure.

[Sara]

I finally took the test... .INFJ as well.  I guess the tendency is for the "bad" child of the BPD to be an INFJ.  Still say wish I could meet some of you... .would be interesting since we all seem so similar.

I read this earlier today.  Since I am INFJ, I've been thinking about it ever since. 

Was I the "bad" child? 

In truth, I was really a pretty superbly good child.  If someone outside of my family had been observing me as I grew up, they could have used me as the basis for an inspirational children's book about a kid who was doing--or trying to do, anyway--everything right.

But this doesn't at all answer the question which is: "Within my family, was I the 'bad' child?"  Upon reflection, I think the answer has to be "yes."

I never fit into my family; I was always the odd one out... .always, from the earliest I can remember.  The only person who was as odd as me was my (paternal) Grandma, and from everything I know now, she was clearly Asperger's all of her life.  I thought she was wonderful.  [Wherever you are right now, Grandma, I love you.  xoxox]  But obviously, since she came into the family as a full adult, regardless of how odd everyone else thought she was, she was never considered a "bad child."

Why was I "bad"?  Because I wasn't in my heart one of them.  In my heart (no matter how circumspect I was in expressing or not expressing my opinions) I disagreed with just about everything they believed in on so many different levels (morals, ethics, politics, ways of interacting with other people, mutual obligations with other people, thoughtfulness, consideration of others, the various hot button issues of their generation and mine, etc., etc., etc.).  My outer behavior was impeccable (most of the time   ).  When I expressed my views, it was mostly with all the sensitivity I could muster at whatever age I was at the time.  I was fearsomely conscientious about fulfilling whatever obligations I was responsible for fulfilling.  And I never did any of the "getting into trouble" things that most kids do when they reach adolescence.  As a teenager, I was what most parents would think was a dream child.   

But because I wasn't naturally one of them, I think they all (minus my Grandma and paternal Grandpa) would have easily agreed that I was indeed the "bad child."

And my sister (six years younger than me; my only sibling) would certainly and vehemently agree that I was the "bad child"! 

So I guess I was.   

Kinda funny, the things you can learn about yourself on an Internet message board. 

Thanks for the belated personal realization, everyone! 

   

[C12P21]

I am an INFJ. I graduated from a Human Services program while in the program we took the Meyers Briggs, almost one half of the class was INFJ-which explains our choice of profession.

A few good books to read "Please Understand Me" and "Human Dynamics" both helped me in understanding differences in personality and communications styles.

Fun stuff to think about, no doubt.

[Itza]

Someone on an unrelated messageboard linked this test which I took in May - INFJ.

I just took it an hour ago - INFJ.

[fleur d argent]

I read this earlier today.  Since I am INFJ, I've been thinking about it ever since.  

Was I the "bad" child?  

In truth, I was really a pretty superbly good child.  If someone outside of my family had been observing me as I grew up, they could have used me as the basis for an inspirational children's book about a kid who was doing--or trying to do, anyway--everything right.

But this doesn't at all answer the question which is: "Within my family, was I the 'bad' child?"  Upon reflection, I think the answer has to be "yes."

I never fit into my family; I was always the odd one out... .always, from the earliest I can remember.  The only person who was as odd as me was my (paternal) Grandma, and from everything I know now, she was clearly Asperger's all of her life.  I thought she was wonderful.  [Wherever you are right now, Grandma, I love you.  xoxox]  But obviously, since she came into the family as a full adult, regardless of how odd everyone else thought she was, she was never considered a "bad child."

Why was I "bad"?  Because I wasn't in my heart one of them.  

Sara, from one "bad" child to another... .I could have written what you just wrote, but you explained it so well!     To my teachers and other people I was a great kid, straight A's, quiet, overly conscientious, band member, no drinking, no drugs, honors classes, well-behaved friends.  To my parents I was the "bad" child.  I dared to express myself and hold views in opposition to them.  I dared to think for myself and try to look out for myself.  I would speak the truth to their faces, and it was true, but they hated it and didn't want to see it.   I was "fresh," I "talked back,"  I didn't "respect" them.  All those phrases make me shudder.     It's true, I didn't, because they didn't earn or deserve my respect.  I always felt like I "wasn't in my heart one of them."  

[elphaba]

another "bad" child here!   

Even to this day, somehow I'm labeled this way... .even though currently I am the only of my siblings that is gainfully employed with a real standing in the community... .I've come from severe poverty after leaving home at 18 and now have a high level position of authority and a home, etc... .does it get me any credit from them... .oh hell no.

Tangent alert:  a couple months ago I left a "happy fathers day" message on my dad's fb, as did my younger sister (the golden child)... .well, at some point my post was deleted, while my sisters still stands... .two of my daughters had birthdays recently and neither recived a card/present from my folks... .two older ones tried to visit the folks this weekend (since my oldest is leaving for a year of volunteer work)... .calls went unanswered and unreturned from both my parents and sister... .sad that they are handed this legacy of ignorance and unloving behavior from my parents... .two people who pride themselves on their christian beliefs and lives... .

I had posted something (I think) months ago about a discussion I had with my T and a study he had seen on "The resilant child"... .children raised in very dysfunctional/unloving/de-valuating environments who grow up to be very loving and successful adults dispite it all... .very interesting really... .and so is this:


And I found this recently on the INFJ personality:  INFJ - The "Confidant" Jungian Personality Types 

INFJs, making up an estimated 1% of all people, are the most rare type (males even more so). They are introspective, caring, sensitive, gentle and complex people that strive for peace and derive satisfaction from helping others. INFJs are highly intuitive, empathetic and dedicated listeners. These traits tend to act as a "tell me what's wrong" sign on their forehead, hence the nicknames Confidant, Counselor or Empath. INFJs are intensely private and deeply committed to their beliefs.

[UKannie]

To my teachers and other people I was a great kid, straight A's, quiet, overly conscientious, band member, no drinking, no drugs, honors classes, well-behaved friends.  To my parents I was the "bad" child.  I dared to express myself and hold views in opposition to them.

Pretty much the same goes for me too (and another INFJ here). When I read the posts on this topic I realise how the essence of "me", my spirit and my sheer will to live was almost crushed by the environment I grew up in. Twenty years later I am still trying to grasp hold of all of those things they (principally my mother) almost destroyed.

[Sara]

Sara, from one "bad" child to another... .I could have written what you just wrote, but you explained it so well!   xoxox  To my teachers and other people I was a great kid, straight A's, quiet, overly conscientious, band member, no drinking, no drugs, honors classes, well-behaved friends.  To my parents I was the "bad" child.  I dared to express myself and hold views in opposition to them.  I dared to think for myself and try to look out for myself.  I would speak the truth to their faces, and it was true, but they hated it and didn't want to see it.   I was "fresh," I "talked back,"  I didn't "respect" them.  All those phrases make me shudder.     It's true, I didn't, because they didn't earn or deserve my respect.  I always felt like I "wasn't in my heart one of them." 

silverfleur:

Your words, about your life, could also be mine as well.

Thank you.   

Sara 

[geekgirl]

Another member of the club here -- INTJ, "bad child", very good child in the real nonBPD world.  I think INTJ/INFJ personalities clash spectacularly with BPD's, which may explain why we're often the "bad" children.

[joiesophie]

Okay,

I came late to the party, but I'm an ENFJ.  Can I play anyway? 

Can I have the website again, my cat decided to play tech while I was reading about myself... .   

Do ya think I'm an ENFJ?  How did I ever make it in the foo? 

Or, on a more reflective note, is that why I thought I was invisible?

js 

[Lifeline]

This is too funny- I just took the test and am a "ISFJ". I read the descriptor and it's me all right!

Everybody loves me except my parents. xoxo

Are we that way as a reaction to them? It wasn't easy because as geekgirl wrote, we clash spectacularly with BPDs. I did... .still do.

I'm a winner by all of society's standards... .but never by Momster's. ?

BTW-I saw her today. I have LC, but today went sort-of okay because I used the power of the words I've read here to help me. Really. I know that sounds sappy, but I brought all your thoughts with me. I only meet her in public places, and when a rage seemed to be brewing I stood up and walked away to look at something else.

Progress at last... .after 48 years.

[DorothyFromOz]

JosieSophie, I'm ENFJ too. And yes, I'm the bad good child, too. I was not an easy child, though, I know (neither is my 7-yr-old). I was, however, a straight-A student (once I got to high school) on the honor society, in band and jazz band, math league, German club, you name it. And very active in and serious about our religion, too. But I am the scapegoat/bad child in the BPD world. Even my brother (who knows something's messed up with my mother but got mad at me when I suggested it was BPD) told me that he could never understand the fact that I tried all my life to be nothing but good and do everything right and got no respect from our parents, while he didn't try at all (he's not a bad person in the least - he's a great person, but he left the religion in which we were raised and definitely "experimented" with a lot more in his day) and has all the respect in the world from them.

[joiesophie]

Oooh!  I can stay? I've taken two different tests - and their both enfj (would you belive that I'm a teacher? ) It fits - it's way too weird! 

I wasn't the bad child - I just was the caretaker - comic relief person.  sistericky was the golden child believing she was bad child - anything for the spotlight... .

However, I don't fit in the foo! So glad about that.  Was horrendous, but now it makes soo much sense. 

This validated me.  Thanks for doing the thread!   

btw: I did get back to the site - does this explain my clutter in any way shape or form?

js

[PT]

from one "bad" child to another... .I could have written what you just wrote, but you explained it so well!   xoxox  To my teachers and other people I was a great kid, straight A's, quiet, overly conscientious, band member, no drinking, no drugs, honors classes, well-behaved friends.  To my parents I was the "bad" child.  I dared to express myself and hold views in opposition to them.  I dared to think for myself and try to look out for myself.  I would speak the truth to their faces, and it was true, but they hated it and didn't want to see it.   I was "fresh," I "talked back,"  I didn't "respect" them.  All those phrases make me shudder.     It's true, I didn't, because they didn't earn or deserve my respect.  I always felt like I "wasn't in my heart one of them." 

As a fellow "bad" daughter of a updmother and INFJ too, I could not have said it better than silverfleur - your quote also describes me as a child -- to my mother I was the "mean-demanding" child.  I had no idea about that Myers Briggs thing until I took the test here.  Then I was fascinated - the INFJ personality is me exactly - every description I have read of it is me.  And it is even more fascinating that so many of us kids of BPDs are INFJ.  I found a funny assessment of fictional character personalities - someone rated Cinderella and INFJ.  Love that!  In my 20s I always felt I was Cinderella to my mother - no matter what I did or how much I tried to help - it was never good enough... .but her other two kids did very little wrong?

[Creed]

Wow, what a fascinating thread.  I am INFJ also (was INFP in high school, but have become more sure of myself and my own judgements since then).  I also experienced that bad child/ good child dichotomy.  I was outwardly good in all the right ways, and was actually "the favorite" child, but I think that a trait of INFJs is a strong sense of self or high resiliency.  This also leads us to "clash spectacularly" as geekgirl put it so well with BPDs - that is definitely a pretty good descriptor of the fights I had with my uBPDm over boundaries / self-definition (i.e., eating what I wanted, wearing the belt I wanted - classic rebellion stuff 

PT - I'm also the "mean demanding" child, which I'm coming to realize simply means the "non-enmeshed child."  Love the Cinderella image - no matter what I do, it's never enough, or it's never proof that I won't bomb out completely in the future.  BPDm must monitor and control my professional and personal life to ensure this.

[sweety]

 INFP always get the same result

[Skip]

Incompatibility Profiles

There are 16 different Myers-Briggs types so there are 136 different type combinations that are compared in the book "Just Your Type" by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger (ISBN # 0-316-84569-8).  They also have a website which is:  PersonalityType.com.   The book talks about the joys and frustrations of every type combination.  It also offers advice on how to "reach" your partner.

Here is some topline information on incompatibility based on four preferred ways of social interacting dynamics.

Chart-the-Course: INFJ, ISTJ, INTJ, ISTP
These types are usually talented at planning and determining a feasible couse of action for attaining a certain goal. They’re usually analytical and conceptualizing and shine at forseeing possible obstacles and outlining a good strategy in a variety of situations.

Get-thing-Going: ENFP, ESFJ, ENTP, ESFP
These types are natural motivators, great at energizing and involving people in a project. They’re upbeat, enthusiastic and open to new ideas and possibilities. Can be charismatic leaders with very expressive personalities and a desire to engage others in everything they do.

In-Charge: ENFJ, ENTJ, ESTJ, ESTP
Goal-oriented, direct and efficient, these types are natural leaders who focus mainly on results and effectiveness. They are energetic action people, fast decision-makers and very aware of whatever needs to be corrected and improved. They shine at mobilizing resources, mentoring people and monitoring a project.

Behind-the-Scenes: INFP, INTP, ISFJ, ISFP
These types are usually talented at defining, claryfing and improving different aspects of a project. They are patient, reserved and prefer to work in the backgound, where they gather information, mine for new data and consult different sources in order to better understand the process. They do well in research and counseling.

The Interaction Styles incompatibility theory suggests that the following styles are very likely to experience great stress when interacting:

Chart-the-Course least compatible with Get-thing-Going
----> in other words: INFJ, ISTJ, INTJ, ISTP least compatible with ENFP, ESFJ, ENTP, ESFP

In-Charge least compatible with Behind-the-Scenes
---->  in other words: ENFJ, ENTJ, ESTJ, ESTP least compatible with INFP, INTP, ISFJ, ISFP


Beebe’s 8 functions theory  Another model suggests that incompatibility happens between the types with the same functions but opposite attitudes.  This has been reserched by psychologist Ken Liberty that included several  couples, which revealed that the types with inverted attitudes (listed below) were having the most trouble getting along in the relationship. Liberty described them as “fighting every other minute”.

-------------------------------------------- ESTJ least compatible with: ISTP ESTP least compatible with: ISTJ ESFJ least compatible with: ISFP ESFP least compatible with: ISFJ ENTJ least compatible with: INTP ENTP least compatible with: INTJ ENFJ least compatible with: INFP ENFP least compatible with: INFJ

-------------------------------------------- ISTJ least compatible with: ESTP ISTP least compatible with: ESTJ ISFJ least compatible with: ESFP ISFP least compatible with: ESFJ INTJ least compatible with: ENTP INTP least compatible with: ENTJ INFJ least compatible with: ENFP INFP least compatible with: ENFJ

McAlpine's “Dynamic Opposites”  This is the another  incompatibility theory proposed by McAlpine and is based this time on opposing functions. The preferred cognitive process of one type is the least-conscious process of the other, thus creating the opportunity for a lot of tension and misunderstanding. Here are this model’s incompatible types:

-------------------------------------------- ESTJ least compatible with: ENFJ ESTP least compatible with: ENFP ESFJ least compatible with: ENTJ ESFP least compatible with: ENTP ENTJ least compatible with: ESFJ ENTP least compatible with: ESFP ENFJ least compatible with: ESTJ ENFP least compatible with: ESTP

-------------------------------------------- ISTJ least compatible with: INFJ ISTP least compatible with: INFP ISFJ least compatible with: INTJ ISFP least compatible with: INTP INTJ least compatible with: ISFJ INTP least compatible with: ISFP INFJ least compatible with: ISTJ INFP least compatible with: ISTP

Information Pages in the Thread

Here is the link to the test      

Trait Definitions (Introversion, Extroversions, Sensing, Thinking, etc.)

Profiles Descriptions (ENTJ, ESTP, etc)

Compatibility Profiles

Incompatibility Profiles

Data Summary

[Wanda]

ESTJ here

it said i am a leader like a  manager ,very strong and out going, but also sensitive.

ok i guess i have to be to deal with some one in my life with BPD and undiagnoised... .

[clean slate]

I'm an INFJ.  I didn't expect that, actually.  :)ifferent than I remember being coded the other times I took the test, but then again, I'm not the same me, am I?  This site also breaks down what all the codes mean in many areas of your life.  I just read this portion concerning my (perceived) strengths:

•   Warm and affirming by nature

•   Dedicated to achieving the ultimate relationship

•   Sensitive and concerned for others' feelings

•   Usually have good communication skills, especially written

•   Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships

•   Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)

•   Good listeners

•   Are able to move on after a relationship has ended (once they're sure it's over)

www.personalitypage.com/html/INFJ_rel.html

So I cannot move on from my marriage, obviously.  I left twice before, thinking I'd go back when he said/did the right thing to "win" me back.  Now I'm wondering if I still think there's a chance for that.  :)o I not really believe it's over even though I'm the one who left and am now thousands of miles away from him without any contact of any kind?  Hmmmm.

[clean slate]

By the way, these are my weaknesses:

•   Tendency to hold back part of themselves

•   Not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities

•   Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism

•   Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)

•   Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship

Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship?  You don't say!

[Sara]

This isn't "my" forum on this board, but as a totally confirmed (many, many times) INFJ, I think I can contribute some additional real life perspective.  

Although I always come up INFJ:

1)  I am extremely good with money and day-to-day practicalities.  Within both my family and also with the people outside my family who know me best, I have always been the "trusted" one--the one everyone else knew they could depend on (like: when they were dying; when they were becoming incompetent and knew it) to do the right thing, not only for them, but for everyone else involved in, or affected by, whatever situation it was.  (As a result of which, I am now an experienced Successor Trustee to Living Trusts, and I have General/Durable Powers of Attorney for several people so that, if necessary, I can act and decide, if necessary, whatever may be called for up until the moment they die.)  And I am excellent with money, both for short-term needs planning, and also achieving long-term goals.

2) About leaving bad relationships: I have left bad relationships, done it as expeditiously as necessary, and done it as well as it could be done given all the other "also trues" which were involved in that relationship at that time.  

I was once involved with someone who was either BPD or NPD/BPD, who tried very hard--in three different ways--to kill me.  I was able to leave that relationship immediately and with no looking back, despite a great deal of attempted recycling over the next approximately three years.

And on a far less dramatic level, I have left other relationships which were not good and done it (I think) as well as it could be done, all things concerned.  I know that I tried really hard to do it with as much wisdom as I possessed at that time, and I did consider everyone else's position and feelings.  

3)  I do hold back a part of myself until I know that my vulnerability or vulnerabilities are safe.  Once I know that, I no longer hold back.    

Other than these observations, I think this is a good description of some major INFJ traits.

[T2H]

I'm pretty much ISTP (mechanic/fixer) - but I'm 50/50 on one of those in formal testing (can't recall which but certainly not the first one).  I'd be interested in what most of our partner's MB type is.  Not sure about my exBPDgf but the one before (strong N traits) said she was ESFP.

[oaktree]

I always come up as infj too... .interesting.  supposedly that is the most rare type.

[kly]

Just took a free Myers Briggs assessment online.  So, I guess you get what you pay for? 

Here were my results, no surprises:

INFJ

33% Introverted

62% Intuitive

25% Feeling

1% Judging

Qualitative analysis of your type formula

You are:

moderately expressed introvert

distinctively expressed intuitive personality

moderately expressed feeling personality

slightly expressed judging personality


Counselors have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems. Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes.

Counselors are scarce, little more than one percent of the population, and can be hard to get to know, since they tend not to share their innermost thoughts or their powerful emotional reactions except with their loved ones. They are highly private people, with an unusually rich, complicated inner life. Friends or colleagues who have known them for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.

Counselors tend to work effectively in organizations. They value staff harmony and make every effort to help an organization run smoothly and pleasantly. They understand and use human systems creatively, and are good at consulting and cooperating with others. As employees or employers, Counselors are concerned with people's feelings and are able to act as a barometer of the feelings within the organization.

Blessed with vivid imaginations, Counselors are often seen as the most poetical of all the types, and in fact they use a lot of poetic imagery in their everyday language. Their great talent for language-both written and spoken-is usually directed toward communicating with people in a personalized way. Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another's emotions or intentions - good or evil - even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others' feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor's remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.

Mohandas Gandhi, Sidney Poitier, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jane Goodall, Emily Bronte, Sir Alec Guiness, Carl Jung, Mary Baker Eddy, Queen Noor are examples of the Counselor Idealist (INFJ).

Full descriptions of the Counselor and the Idealists are in People Patterns or Please Understand Me II

I'm going to be strutting (on the inside) like a peacock tomorrow.  I'm in GOOD company! All you nons and Mohandas Gandhi! 

[cmk]

Well I just took the test and it said I was an ENFJ. The teacher.

[brenduh]

I am an INTJ which is consistent with the results I got 8 years ago when I took this test.  No wonder dealing with my child's issues drives me insane.  I cannot fix this and I am racking my brain constanatly searching for answers.  Ugh.

[innerspirit]

Just took it -- thanks for the $5.00 opportunity!

ESFP, the performer.  Hmmm... .

[left4good]

I took a freebie test ESTJ

could somebody give me a more detailed description of me.  it wasn't very forthcoming with info! 

[JGirl2]

I took a freebie test ESTJ

could somebody give me a more detailed description of me.  it wasn't very forthcoming with info! 

here are some sites... .

www.personalitypage.com/ESTJ.html

www.keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=2&c=supervisor

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ESTJ

[wchi]

INTJ for me. I used this test: www.humanmetrics.com

Introverted 89

Intuitive 12

Thinking 50

Judging 1

   

[Satori1964]

Got test twice... .once in college and once about five years after I graduated college... .  I was amazed that the results where the same... .ESFJ (Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging)

[Blueberry B]

Hi CleanSlate,

I'm an ENTP. (It's good to know your type, but as you might know the test spits out the archetypes based on how you answer the questions. You might feel differently one day and get a different result. Anyway, that's another discussion). I'm not sure that being an INFJ really matters that much as to whether you can move on or not; naturally there are tendencies within your INFJ personality that will determine just HOW you move on from relationships. Sort of the INFJ "way" of detaching. It might be more important to look at your childhood and any unmet childhood needs that may be lurking. This is the WHY part and your INFJness has nothing to do with it. Unmet childhood needs present themselves in our adult relationships. These needs are: attention, affection, acceptance, and allowing, and the extent to which your parents succeeded in giving you this love has shaped your emotional template on how to relate to others. And will most likely give and receive love in the way that you received it.

So, for example, if a person did not receive enough attention when they were a child, and along comes a BPD person into their adult life who showers them with lots of attention, splits the person white during the typically intense courtship ritual, then the relationship pushes your emotional hot button (and this relationship is not really so much about the person but more about the emotional bond between the two of you). You brought this emotional cargo into the relationship, the BPD brought their share (much more actually) and hence the "loaded" relationship dance begins its steps. Indeed, your INFJ patterns of relating will be your signature on how you move on from this BDP relationship but the emotional center of the disengagement really stems how your emotional health developed or failed to develop with unmet childhood needs.

[jardin]

Same.  INFJ.  Have been since I started taking the test (8 years ago?).  That said, 3 out of the 4 values now have moved from strongly IFJ to slightly IFJ.  I remain surprised that it doesn't consider me extroverted as I do really enjoy talking, meeting people, etc.  I think its because I also need a lot of time alone to recharge, relax, etc.  It IS interesting that so many of this rare type would be with a pwBPD.  Has there been a study done on the personality type of the pwBPD?  Is it us?   

[kly]

I wonder if the INFJ, and others that are close on the spectrum, are more empathic than most, and are more willing to give a BPD a chance?  I know I've been in a number of relationships that in retrospect I should have nipped in the bud. 

By empathic, I don't just mean sympathetic, but also feel the need within that person, and see the good within their hearts. 

On the leaving board I'm struck by two very different responses:  One anger and railing against the BP, and the other sympathy for the BP's disordered mind and a deep sadness for their illness.

[T2H]

By empathic, I don't just mean sympathetic, but also feel the need within that person, and see the good within their hearts. 

On the leaving board I'm struck by two very different responses:  One anger and railing against the BP, and the other sympathy for the BP's disordered mind and a deep sadness for their illness.

I only have one letter in common with you but I saw the good in, and am very sad for, my ex.  I do have anger too - but it's directed at the illness.

[hiddenlizard]

I had the results from this test which I took just around the time I met my stbx.

INFP - "The Healer"

89% introvert

50% intuitive

75% feeling

22% perceiving

Last night I came out INFJ - "The Counselor"

44% introvert

25% intuitive

62% feeling

44% judging

Subtle changes, I think, but as I thought about it in those moments between wake and sleep I got this sense of having shut down. My profession is helping people to heal (I dislike the power differential involved in one person being THE HEALER and the other being ill) and I know that what I do is walking a fine line between protecting myself and opening myself to their pain. I have noticed over the last year and a half my interaction with my clients has become more "mechanical" and I receive fewer of those intuitive messages about how to proceed.

I am afraid I don't "care" as much.

[Normally normal]

Hi all  - I've taken these test for work purposes and decided to try again online just now.  I'm ENFJ - an idealist  or 'the teacher' - and like previous posters, it's a personality type fitting around 2% of the population.

Certainly interesting to read all of your comments!

[JDoe]

I've never taken the test before, but one site says I am an Artisan, another (sounds more like me) says I am an ESFJ (Guardian/Provider).  Hmmmm?

Interesting thread, though!

Jdoe

[PotentiallyKevin]

The Myers-Briggs test is pretty fascinating.

I scored as an ENFP - which when I read the description - was like reading an Auto-biography of myself! It is really blowing my mind how spot on it is.

It also gave me some insight on why borderline relationship was so devastating:

"ENFPs are energized by being around people. ENFPs take their relationships very seriously. ENFPs seek and demand authenticity and depth in their personal relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort into making things work out... .ENFPs want to help, be liked, and admired by other people on both an individual and a humanitarian level. ENFPs hold up their end of relationships, sometimes being victimized by less caring individuals."

The next part is crazy! This WAS me and how i felt about the relationship:

"ENFPs can exhibit preoccupation in their relationships, sometimes putting "all their eggs in one basket" and can tend to hyper focus on the other individual, in attempts to "fix"  the other person or pull out their "real" emotions, transforming them into the perfect person. ENFPs may feel very anxious and preoccupied if the other partner is silent, non expressive, or withdrawn when coping with stress, instead of talking through things. This can deeply hurt them.

[PotentiallyKevin]

Two more insights about relationship problems that kept me stuck with the BPD, bolded:

Most ENFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:

Tendency to be smothering

Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic

Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.

Hold onto bad relationships long after they've turned bad  

Extreme dislike of conflict

Extreme dislike of criticism

Don't pay attention to their own needs  

Constant quest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently

May become bored easily

Have difficulty scolding or punishing others

"There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize  any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should  have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship. "

YIKES, this was (is) me... .!

[dados76]

both R and i are INFP... tend to approach problems the same way...

# Are reasoning and making decisions with feeling and compassion focused on maintaining harmony

# Will follow-through and fulfill commitments

# Will have difficulty (sometimes great difficulty) facing repeated strife and disharmony

# Usually are very cooperative people unless strife is constant and extreme

# Will more easily see human potential and can quietly work to bring that about

# Creativity is not foreign to them and they express it in various ways

# Typically appreciate freedom in their lives to “live” their “ideals”

Now, my friend, the INFP not only behaves in the above manner…THEY NATURALLY EXPECT EVERYONE ELSE TO DO THE SAME!

;}

his first T had me fill out myers briggs questionaire... R has done it a few times... his T laughed... said no wonder we dont butt heads that much... both too busy keeping peace...

[CalicoSilver]

I did this test some time ago, and was categorized as "INFJ." Expanded definition is the "Counselor Idealist.

Rarest personality type; estimated 2% of population.

Characteristics

•private

•sensitive

•quiet leaders

•great depth of personality - intricately and deeply woven, mysterious, and highly complex, sometimes puzzling even themselves

•introverted

•abstract in communicating

•live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities - part of an unusually rich inner life

•abstract in communicating

•artistic (and natural affinity for art), creative, and easily inspired

•very independent

•orderly view towards the world but within themself arranged in a chaotic, complex way only they could understand

Towards the self

INFJs value their integrity a great deal. They are generally "doers" as well as great dreamers. They have high expectations of themselves and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. They do this through total trust of their intuition. They believe in constant growth and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. INFJs are proud of their authenticity, respectful of their benevolence, confident of their empathy. They also are constantly in a state of self-renewal.

Towards the world

Towards the future: credulous, the past: mystical. INFJs prefer the future and the pathway along which they aspire for profundity. They've even been known to have visions/premonitions/auditory and visual images of things to come. They are often said to possess supernormal intuitive ability in both its forms: projection and introjection. They search for their unique identity and place in the world, constantly defining this better. They are activists there for the cause, not for the power, fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless, and put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done.

Relationships

An INFJ is often hard to get to know. They are selective about their friends, but such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words... .They hunger for deep and meaningful relationships, provide spiritual intimacy for their mates, and can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." In such relationships, they strive for mutuality, don't believe in compromising their ideals, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people.

Towards others It can be difficult for an INFJ to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings to others. They tend to be secretive by holding back and protecting part of themselves, thus creating hidden sides to their personality. They are choosy of what and when to share things and tend to only truly do so with those they trust. When they reveal things, it is often through speaking interpretively and metaphorically of the abstract world of their imagination. However, they can work quite intensely with those close to them, being cooperative in implementing goals - even though their own trusted intuition can sometimes make them stubborn. They can become aware of another's emotions/intentions before that person is conscious of them. This leads to strong empathic abilities, an unusually strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others while pointing out human potentials, and uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance. They are often leaders who go unnoticed, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes. When working with others, they are very sensitive to conflict and cannot tolerate it very well. They will prevent/avoid it at all costs. They also provide an opportunity for fantasy for their children.

I'm not sure about being defined by this test, but its accuracy is spot-on, as it applies to my behavior patterns.

Thank you for posting this thread. I had thoughts about doing the same thing - on the heels of the last "test" for personality disorders - but hadn't got around to doing it yet!

[Lost In Space]

Apparently I'm ENFJ, thrilling... .?

[PotentiallyKevin]

I am assuming that the 'NF' personality types are going to be common here in the 'Non' world.

[WalrusGumboot]

Skip, I am an ISTJ:

Dominant: Introverted Sensing

Auxiliary: Extraverted Thinking

Tertiary: Introverted Feeling

Inferior: Extraverted Intuition

Like you said, it was like reading an autobiography. It really freaked me out the first time.

What really has become the trigger in my relationship with my uBPDw is her expectations as far as attention, and what I am capable of giving. She expects unending attention (not a rare trait in BPs), but my profile reads as:

"ISTJs are likely to be uncomfortable expressing affection and emotion to others. However, their strong sense of duty and the ability to see what needs to be done in any situation usually allows them to overcome their natural reservations, and they are usually quite supporting and caring individuals with the people that they love. Once the ISTJ realizes the emotional needs of those who are close to them, they put forth effort to meet those needs. "

Of course, my efforts are never enough, and I honestly had put forth the effort in every which way I can.

It is amazing how BPDs act similarly in many way, but us nons also act similarly in our own ways too.

[Totoro13]

Yes... .I'm an ENFP. 

I have taken that test many times and I have always scored the same.

F/T is the only area that score close - but it always comes out a little more F then T.

highlighting me below... .

Most ENFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:

Tendency to be smothering

Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic

Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.

Hold onto bad relationships long after they've turned bad

Extreme dislike of conflict

Extreme dislike of criticism

Don't pay attention to their own needs

Constant quest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently

May become bored easily

Have difficulty scolding or punishing others

"There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize  any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should  have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship. "

That extremely describes where I was with my now ex.  I couldn't give up even when I was so miserable in the relationship.  I had to figure out how to fix it.  I felt that I would be a failure if I gave up.

[dados76]

F is pretty... middle for me... I is little farther... like 20/50... but most are pretty... middle... i can usually see both ways... just lean a little more to one or the other...

R... no surprise... is waaaay to either end on whatever it is... 49/50 for introvert... 38/50 N... 40/50F... ... same personality type... but hes on a whole other level...

[maradar]

I did this test some time ago, and was categorized as "INFJ." Expanded definition is the "Counselor Idealist.

Rarest personality type; estimated 2% of population.

Wow! Me too. That is awesome. I was wondering if there was another INFJ on the boards. 

[Blossom]

Oh. That's ... .weird. I took a quickie one just now and came out ISFJ.

Reading this www.keirsey.com/4temps/protector.asp was even plain weirder. On the success thread, i actually wrote that i feel, in part, like his guardian. Maybe this wasn't the best test to take at midnight.

[confused!!!]

I just did a quick version online and came out INFJ, not at all surprising as I totally related to Calico's posted description. Once again, part of a minority. Does not surprise me one bit... .Good to meet other INFJ's!  xoxo

[Mrs.Priam]

I am INTJ... .anyone else INTJ?

[Goose]

Done this test quite many times, ended up twice as INFJ and thrice INFP.

Both fit me really. INFP here:

• Warmly concerned and caring towards others
  
  Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
  
  Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
  
  Deep capacity for love and caring
  
  Driven to meet other's needs
  
  Strive for "win-win" situations
  
  Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
  
  Likely to recognize and appreciate other's need for space
  
  Able to express themselves well
  
  Flexible and diverse

• May tend to be shy and reserved
  
  Don't like to have their "space" invaded
  
  Extreme dislike of conflict
  
  Extreme dislike of criticism
  
  Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
  
  May react very emotionally to stressful situations
  
  Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
  
  Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
  
  Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
  
  Perfectionistic tendancies may cause them to not give themselves enough credit
  
  Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders

My ex was an ISFP... bigtime. I guessed he was before he did the test and sure was spot on. Short description here... :

They are very private people, who keep their true feelings and opinions reserved or hidden from others. This may cause them to constantly defer to their mates in their intimate relationships, which may cause problems if their mates are not extremely aware of the ISFP's feelings. Some ISFPs who are in the habit of not expressing their needs and feelings find themselves in situations throughout their life where they feel overshadowed, overlooked, or even "tread upon" by others. Highly practical and cynical by nature, these feelings may cause the ISFP to become bitter, and to either give up on their relationships, or to start using their relationships for their own personal gain. Although this problem is observed sometimes in the ISFP type, it does not seem to be present in those ISFPs who consistently express their feelings to those closest to them.

[Lucidogen]

I have done this test several times (one during a job application process, got the job btw) and I am an INTP.

Since it seems to asses your self-perception, I am curious on how an upbringing with uNPD/BPDmom and enDad has had an influence on this. I am an introvert, but lately I question how much of an introvert I am. Much of it is a protection, I think.

[Hello Kitty]

I've done the MB a number of times and always come out as an ENTJ - the field marshall.

Wikipedia notes:

ENTJs focus on the most efficient and organized means of performing a task. This quality, along with their goal orientation, often makes ENTJs superior leaders, both realistic and visionary in implementing a long-term plan. ENTJs tend to be fiercely independent in their decision making, having a strong will that insulates them against external influence. Generally highly competent, ENTJs analyze and structure the world around them in a logical and rational way. Due to this straightforward way of thinking, ENTJs tend to have the greatest difficulty of all the types in applying subjective considerations and emotional values into the decision-making process.

ENTJs often excel in business and other areas that require systems analysis, original thinking, and an economically savvy mind. They are dynamic and pragmatic problem solvers. They tend to have a high degree of confidence in their own abilities, making them assertive and outspoken. In their dealings with others, they are generally outgoing, charismatic, fair-minded, and unaffected by conflict or criticism. However, these qualities can make ENTJs appear arrogant, insensitive, and confrontational. They can overwhelm others with their energy, intelligence, and desire to order the world according to their own vision. As a result, they may seem intimidating, hasty, and controlling.

ENTJs tend to cultivate their personal power. They often end up taking charge of a situation that seems (to their mind, at least) to be out of control, or that can otherwise be improved upon and strengthened. They strive to learn new things, which helps them become resourceful problem-solvers. However, since ENTJs rely on provable facts, they may find subjective issues pointless. ENTJs appear to take a tough approach to emotional or personal issues, and so can be viewed as aloof and cold-hearted. In situations requiring feeling and value judgments, ENTJs are well served to seek the advice of a trusted Feeling type.

------------------

Probably explains my low level of patience with my BPD-NPD MIL. 

[entrepreneur_dad]

Morning all.

My wife and I have always been interested in the Myers Brigg tests.  She was identified an ENFP but maybe just as important -- her F score was 100% (not a single T response).

I'm just curious what other results are common for BPD.

[whatshappening]

Interesting Observation. I love the Myers Briggs test. I'd say mine is INFJ, while Im an ENTP. I'm not sure if you can accurately apply these if a PD exists, but who knows. Anything might be useful.

[heromyth]

Haha. Just saw this.  I would have probably tested INFJ even as a little kid, so I'm a very stable INFJ and never test as anything else (except a INTJ on poorly scored tests).  The BP in my life tests anything from I to E, F to T, and P to J.  The only stable thing is the very strong N, and that will likely never change.  In fact, I sometimes wish he were an S, because he'd be a lot more 'in the moment'.

Borderline personalities being at their core a truly fragmented personality, I'd suspect they could go through several MBTI descriptions in a year.  Even nons who aren't very connected with themselves will test differently each time they try, so I can't imagine anything stable from a borderline.  Schizoids (INTP/INTJ), avoidants (INFJ, INFP), and histrionics (ENFP, ESFP) often score more stable personality results, oddly enough.  Not that any of it means much of anything, but I think it's interesting how well it can identify someone with a stable, versus unstable, personality.

[BMama]

I guess I did know what this was.  I took a test out of curiosity.

It's ESTJ.  According to the site I used, it fits with my career choice, at least.

[WalrusGumboot]

I think the Myers Briggs for PDs are not very accurate.

I took the test and found myself to be an ISTJ. I answered the questions honestly and the profile of an ISTJ is spot on who I am.

I told my uBPDw about the test, and she took the test online. She was verbally speaking the questions, and verbally telling me what answer she picked. A lot of the answers had me going WHAT!    They have a distorted view of self, so her results were questionable.

[entrepreneur_dad]

The telling part for me wasn't necessarily the Myers Briggs category as much as the fact that on the T/F scale, my BPD wife feel 100% to the F.  She acts on feelings; rarely thought.  I guess there's not a good way to track that but I would suspect similiar "F" results.

[heromyth]

Well, even though the BP I'm involved with can be all over the place on the MBTI, the most consistent result has been ENFP.  Looking at the ENFP[/b]_per.html]personal development write-up on this page, it sounds almost laughably similar to a BP.

· May be what many would call a “sucker”; vulnerable to schemers and con artists.

· May get themselves into dangerous situations because they’re too eager to push the envelope of their understanding, and not willing to apply judgement to anything.

· May feel intense anger towards people who criticize them or try to control them. But will be unable to express the anger.  Left unexpressed, the anger may fester and simmer and become destructive.

· May blame their problems on other people, using logic and ration to defend themselves against the world.

· May develop strong negative judgements that are difficult to unseed against people who they perceive have been oppressive to them.

· May get involved with drugs, alcohol, or promiscuity, and generally seek mindless experiences and sensations.

· May skip from relationship to relationship without the ability to commit.

· May start projects but be unable to finish them.

· May be unable to stick to a career or job for any length of time.

Just consider that in combination with the abused child black and white thinking and resultant intense manipulation, and it sounds like the base personality for most borderlines to me.

[CaptainM]

I'm an INFP, not sure how much I subscribe to it all though - they're pretty broad pigeon holes and the tests tend to push me towards the middle of the road often as I strongly agree with both sides (I'm one of those strange people who is highly analytical/logical and highly empathetic/emotional).

[entrepreneur_dad]

I am also a middle-of-the-road INFP and -- while this by no means constitutes research -- i believe theres something to it.

Incidentally, INFPs know themselves better than any other group. 

[heromyth]

I was sure INFJs knew themselves and everyone else better than anyone. :D  Haha.

[MoonWolf]

I have read about Myers-Briggs and thought about getting trained in it for my job. Although I think it can be a useful tool in a work environment and possibly a relationship. I think the problem for me with Myers-Brigg is with BP is how the person sees themselves. If they are taking the test to impress someone they will have a much different outcome if they take it because they want to. They can change themselves to suit the situation, so I am not sure if it's a good test for them.

Myers-Briggs scores can change over time.


As far as *feeling* (F) in decision making it's not about having *empathy* it's about how the person perceives the situation - Rather than *thinking* (T) - thinking through a decission would require facts and inquiry from others -- Felling is about them, it's not *how* they are feeling.

[Vivgood]

Interesting.

I'm an INTJ now, and was as a BPD. My sister has always been an ESFP (and is BPD). May be something to do with my Aspergers. I do think that part of the reason she has never sought treatment (or admitted to any problem) is because of her personality. It's always been very difficult for me to deny reality/fact- easier for an "F" to do so. I also think the J vs P is more influential than one might think; Ps tend to be more comfortable with (I want to say chaos but not sound so negative!)well, disarray or uncertainty than Js. A PD is all about chaos, so the sense of "wrongness" inside a PD might be stronger for a J.

The INTJ is also behind my NC. I just can't force myself to enter that BPD-driven mess even if it makes me look like a "bad" sister/daughter. Gah! Feels like gum in my hair!


vivgood

[heromyth]

Interesting.

I'm an INTJ now, and was as a BPD. My sister has always been an ESFP (and is BPD). May be something to do with my Aspergers. I do think that part of the reason she has never sought treatment (or admitted to any problem) is because of her personality. It's always been very difficult for me to deny reality/fact- easier for an "F" to do so. I also think the J vs P is more influential than one might think; Ps tend to be more comfortable with (I want to say chaos but not sound so negative!)well, disarray or uncertainty than Js. A PD is all about chaos, so the sense of "wrongness" inside a PD might be stronger for a J.

This is really similar to thoughts I've had on it.  Also, an INTJ borderline is the quirkiest thing I've heard in a long time.  Definitely not a combination I'd have imagined.  I think you hit on something with the Asperger's; sometimes I think BPD shouldn't be diagnosed in a case of AS because of the similarities, but notable differences.  But then, if you have a sister with BPD, it really speaks for it being an organic issue. 

Definitely a base personality would seem to affect treatment, as you said.  Being intuitive and naturally perfectionistic probably lends to a higher chance of becoming regulated.  I guess you could say you're fortunate. :D

[saywhat?]

I took the Meyers - Briggs Personality Inventory years ago for a couples retreat... .Funny thing is that my personality type is very hypervigilant... .so much so that it causes tension in the head, neck, and shoulders... .The Inventory actually said this in the description... .and it is right on the money!  I have seen that one of the symptoms of having a BPD parent is hypervigilance... .Another trait that overlaps is a keen sense of intuition... .Also... .I think that only 3-4% of the population has this personality type... .About the same percentage as BPD people... .Coincidence?  Oh, and my personality type is ENFP... .

If you have ever taken the Meyer's Briggs, I would be curious to know what your type is and what you think about that in relation to your pwBPD?

Also - the core personalty is the middle 2 letters... (NF for me)

[Waiting to Exhale]

I'm INFP - introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving.  Not sure about my personality type but I think it's pretty right on the money for me. 

[tiredmommy2]

I think I'm a ENTJ (might have mixed up a couple of letters-I took this a while ago)... .supposedly this this the personality type of many of the MALE CEO's of the world. 

My personality type is that I aggressively pursue what I want (mainly in the business world) & am demanding & impatient. I also have a strong need to keep everything in order.  I can come across as being too... .logical I guess.  I am very analytical & things just need to make sense to me.

I think that my BPDm has plenty to do with the results of this test.  I need everything to be in order (my life was nothing but chaos growing up).  The demanding/impatient stuff probably comes from my perfectionist tendencies (nothing was ever good enough for BPDm). I don't know why I am analytical or this aggressive, but in the business world, it sure does pay off!

[Jaihree]

Skip----Thanks for the information.   I’ve known for +20 years that I’m an ENFP.  I just never knew about the “hypervigilant” aspect of it.  Interestingly enough, I have a very keen sense of intuition.  I never rely on data like so many people do.  I can normally come to the same conclusion in a short amount of time, without it, as others do with the data and it takes them longer.  Sadly, our society doesn’t look favorably on people who use intuition to draw the same conclusions as those who need printed facts and data.

I have this thing I say about myself and how much information I process... .(I've heard this from other ENFPs too)... ."If people had any idea what is going on up there!"  I have a hard time turning it off.  I'm a sponge when it comes to learning and needing to learn.  I'm far from being a genius, but I just have a need to learn.  My sister told me one time that I'm the thinker of the family.

I wasn’t quite sure of the exact meaning of being hypervigilant.  So I did a quick internet search.  Interesting how I fit the model so closely.  Here’s a link I found that gives a good comparison between paranoia and hypervigilance.  www.cbkit.tripod.com/id14.html   YAY!  I’m not paranoid.  

I found some interesting things about myself at the bottom of this page that I knew but didn’t really attribute to anything.  Some that I didn’t know had anything to do with other than healthy life choices….

*Hyperawareness and an acute sense of time passing, seasons changing, and distances travelled.  (I’m always very aware of these.  I just thought it was part of life)

Healthy life choices, or so I thought (and still do)….  

*An appreciation of the need to adopt a healthier diet, possibly reducing or eliminating meat - especially red meat (working on)

*Willingness to try complementary medicine and alternative, holistic therapies, etc  (American health system is to focused on medication and not on prevention)

Trying to be better at this….

*A constant feeling that one has to justify everything one says and does

What can one expect when their FOO makes them feel this way?... . 

*Feelings of worthlessness, rejection, a sense of being unwanted, unlikeable and unlovable

*A feeling of being small, insignificant, and invisible

*An overwhelming sense of betrayal, and a consequent inability and unwillingness to trust anyone, even those close to you

Also, yes, I’ve heard that we ENFPs are about 3 – 4 % of the population too.

[saywhat?]

Interesting that 3 of us have the NF core personality... .

Also - Jaihree - so good to meet another ENFP... .I have only known one other... .I completely relate to all that you said!  I am extremely intuitive and come to conclusions very quickly that take others lots of research to come to... .Maybe it is because of the hyper-awareness... .I also have a compulsion for amassing vast amounts of knowledge! 

[saywhat?]

Sorry - I accidentally posted before I was done... .

Tiredmommy - I wish that I had the need for everything to be in order!  I think my tendency to be messy (Not Dirty) comes from the fact that even though I could never count on a stable mood from my mom, she was almost OCD about everything having aplace and evrything being in it's place... .I think deep down I rejected that because I did not want to be like her!  Talk about serious unresolved issues... .I have found that since I have been NC, I have actually gotten more organized... .maybe because I don't have her whispering in my ear that I am soo messy... .

Jaihree- I agree about the alternative medicine and I also feel as though I need to constantly justify everything I say and do... .I am working hard on that... .trying to be OK with myself and not worry so much about what people think of me... .

Very interesting!

[Gowest]

Really interesting. I've noticed that I have a different approach to a lot of things than other people here. I was thinking about making a thread on attachment theory, but this ties into it too.

I'm INTJ.

Masterminds tend to be much more definite and self-confident than other Rationals, having usually developed a very strong will. Decisions come easily to them; in fact, they can hardly rest until they have things settled and decided. But before they decide anything, they must do the research. Masterminds are highly theoretical, but they insist on looking at all available data before they embrace an idea, and they are suspicious of any statement that is based on shoddy research, or that is not checked against reality.

No wonder my mother can't stand me.

My mother, btw, is ESTJ - "The Guardian". I can't believe I still remember that.

[MotherSpirit]

I'm INFP - introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving.  Not sure about my personality type but I think it's pretty right on the money for me. 

That's what I got when I took a sample test before! :D

[EvenSteven]

At various points in my life I have tested as an INTP or an ENFP... . My I/E personality is balanced on the test.  I'm an introvert who loves company but doesn't need it. I love parties but then I isolate during because socializing and background noise is draining.  As a child I looked forward to family gatherings but they were always precluded by my mother's emotional antics.  Once we FINALLY made it, I was -i don't know- embarrassed even though no one saw what I saw, they knew about the drama.  I didn't want anyone's sympathy.  i just wanted to play it cool, i.e. casually not talk to anyone even though I desperately wanted some authentic attention from family. Gawd, that's a gross way of remembering those patterns.

My N is far stronger than my S.  Which meant that no one ever gets my jokes.  And which means I'm one of the few human beings on this planet who knows what my mom is talking about when she isn't in "Wise Mind."  And

 Anyway, my T/F is balanced or confused, you pick.  I am very analytical but I wrestle with a world of emotions.  Go figure?

As for my "P" - it's entrenched.  It is very nearly a direct artifact of my mother's poor psychic boundaries.  Perceiving is my defense mechanism - my hand rail of equanimity.  On the dark side, it is another way of measuring that "I don't ever know what I want" because there was no ****ing room for that in the midst of mother's demands. 

Escaping home, getting married and being gainfully employed has softened the milquetoast effect reasonably.

[saywhat?]

Even Steven - my T/P is very confused as well... .I teeter over to T at any time... .I asked the facilitator what this means and he said it means that one day you will be a T and another day you will be an F... .I am very much a thinker, but I feel things very intensely... .Sucks sometimes! 

Also, I am very much an E... .but I read somewhere that ENFPs are the only extrovert type that needs alone time... .It probably has to do with all of the hypervigilance and overthinking... .we need time alone to process... .Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, because I am always researching information and always hyper aware of the moods and unspoken cues of those around me... .The combination is sometimes just too much!

[saywhat?]

"Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves."

That is quote from an ENFP site... .sorry, I haven't figured out how to do that quote thing, yet! 

This is probably why I resist my mother's manipulation... .

I have to wonder, though, how much of my personality is mine and how much is from the environment I grew up in?

[Waiting to Exhale]

I think whenever I take my analysis class we get to take this test so it'll be nice to see if I've changed over the years.  I also get to find out my IQ and all sorts of other fun things.  Although I really don't look forward to the class because it's a science based class and I'm sure the stuff we learn will be hard :/

[dados76]

both R and i are INFP... housemate is ENFP... which works good... she can split time between us and neither of us gets our introvert side stepped on too much and she doesnt end up ignored

[Vivgood]

  Hi gowest, I'm INTJ. I hardly ever run into other INTJs!

Masterminds tend to be much more definite and self-confident than other Rationals, having usually developed a very strong will. Decisions come easily to them; in fact, they can hardly rest until they have things settled and decided. But before they decide anything, they must do the research. Masterminds are highly theoretical, but they insist on looking at all available data before they embrace an idea, and they are suspicious of any statement that is based on shoddy research, or that is not checked against reality.

Haven't ever seen this, interesting... .especially since I'm a research statistician in RL and every word is true!

And tiredmommy, I love ENTJs. DH is one (The Field Marshall) and I appreciate the organized mindset so much, and the aggression can be such a useful trait.

vivgood

[saywhat?]

So far, ALL of us have the N - I think having a BPD parent made it imperative that we exhibit intuition... .

Oh and in the previous post, I meant that my T/F was confused... .or maybe I am just confused in general!

[findingmyselfagain]

Also ENFP... .gradually went to P from J over the years. Interesting that we were all attracted to BP's. Wonder if it's the Feeling... .not being bound as much by rules but base our decisions on feelings.

[tiredmommy2]

And tiredmommy, I love ENTJs. DH is one (The Field Marshall) and I appreciate the organized mindset so much, and the aggression can be such a useful trait.

Sometimes!  

Vivgood, I'm happy to see a woman with a similar personality... .I was told that this was not a common personality type & that it was actually rare for a woman to have it... .I feel like less of a freak now.  

[Gowest]

Hi gowest, I'm INTJ. I hardly ever run into other INTJs!

Even though it's only supposed to be 1-4% of the population, usually when I find a topic like this on a messageboard I use it's like half INTJ. Like attracting like, but we're all here for a different reason than a hobby or whatever.

[saywhat?]

Welcome, Mobocracy!  This is so cool!  I have never met this many ENFPs before!

[sarah1234]

I am Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging - ENFJ

Which I see I am all alone on this thread 

It does pretty much describe me (am extroverted) and a people person

[The Ride]

ISFJ- the guardian/protector

[wonderwhy]

I did this test about 6 months ago, and came up as ISTJ. I'd be interested totaled the test again now and see whether the process of detaching has significantly changed my personality type. I always said he made me feel like a totally different person.

Incidentally, he was INFJ. Did your BPD ever take the test? Would it even work on someone with a pd?

[marlo6277]

Hey all! I just wanted to pop in and say I LOVE personality tests!  xoxo

I am an ESTJ alllllllllllllllll the way. LOL

When I took the test, I score very middle of the road with the 'ST' part.  I am roughly about 53/47% balance for each one - S/N and T/F. 

But after reading the description, I definitely fall in the ESTJ category.  I took the test when I worked at my former office.  It was part of a team building exercise.  What's also funny - is that the group of people that worked with me in our unit (scheduling court hearings across the country) also scored ESTJ!  There were 6 of us. And we were all the same 'personality type'. 

At the end of the session, little 'prayers' were printed off an handed out to each person that talked about their personality.

The ESTJ "prayer" is as follows:

God, help me to try to not RUN everything. But if you need help, just ask!

This is soo very true! LOL 

[DreamGirl]

I'm an INFP.   Hi!

Is that close enough to be in the cool ENFP club?  

I am an ESTJ

OMG, Marlo, we are complete oppposites... .

[FreeNclear]

I am an INTP.  Maybe the only one here?  Most likely the only female INTP.  I've taken this twice in my adult life, at least 20 years apart.  Same result.

I take everything my unBPDbf says as having some meaning.  I try to analyze it, it makes me insane because it is illogical.  I don't do a good job at making him feel loved.  I don't do a good job with working with or even recognizing my feelings.  I am very flexible, which ultimately probably gets me in situations that end up pissing me off. (this is only in part facecious).  I buy the books to try and figure out the answers.

Are there any others out there?  If so, I'm curious as to how you deal with pwBPD.

[marlo6277]

I'm an INFP.   Hi!

Is that close enough to be in the cool ENFP club?  

I am an ESTJ

OMG, Marlo, we are complete oppposites... .

Opposites attract, dontcha know? 

I think my DH is INFP as well... .

[PotentiallyKevin]

I'm an INFP.   Hi!

Is that close enough to be in the cool ENFP club?  

Sure, just hang with us and we have a way of turning Is into Es. That is ENFPs superpower, and why introverts love us. We are like alcohol minus the hangover!

[DreamGirl]

Sure, just hang with us and we have a way of turning Is into Es. That is ENFPs superpower, and why introverts love us. We are like alcohol minus the hangover!

By definition  - an introvert is definitely part of my charm.

I will take alcohol without the hangover though!

DG

[The Ride]

Do percentages matter on this test? 

I- 67%

S- 1%

F- 25%

J- 67%

These are my results.  Tia!

[TheSomberlain]

INTJ here 

You guys should check out the book "Please Understand Me II"

Pretty good read.

[just_think]

I never really liked the MB personality tests, but then I started looking into jung and took one and was like "ok, I get it now"

I'm pretty rare from what I understand, a male INFP.

Ladies, feel free to start a line right over... .there ----->

Applications will be processed in the order they are received.

[Jaybird]

I am an ISTJ, my uBPDstbxh is the opposite, ENFP.  Wow, that is a lot of letters! I would however attribute hypervigilence to both of us in different ways.

I describe myself as fiercely loyal  .

[Skip]

Survey Results



Most common personality types at bpdfamily:

INFJ [ 2% of US population/ 20% of bpdfamily participants]

Seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions. Want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others. Conscientious and committed to their firm values. Develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. Organized and decisive in implementing their vision. More Info

INFJ is most compatible with: ENFJ, ESFJ, ENTJ / least compatible with : INTP, ISTP, ISFP

INTJ [ 2% of US population/ 15% of bpdfamily participants]

Have original minds and great drive for implementing their ideas and achieving their goals. Quickly see patterns in external events and develop long-range explanatory perspectives. When committed, organize a job and carry it through. Skeptical and independent, have high standards of competence and performance – for themselves and others. More Info

INTJ is most compatible with: ENTJ, ESTJ, ENFJ / least compatible with : ISFP, INFP, ISTP

ENFP [ 8% of US population/ 14% of bpdfamily participants]

Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency. More Info

ENFP is most compatible with: INFP, ISFP, INTP / least compatible with : ESTJ, ENTJ,ESFJ

INFP [ 4% of US population/ 13% of bpdfamily participants]

Idealistic, loyal to their values and to people who are important to them. Want an external life that is congruent with their values. Curious, quick to see possibilities, can be catalysts for implementing ideas. Seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential. Adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened. More Info

INFP (2nd function Ne) most compatible with: ENFP, ENTP, ESFP / least compatible with : ISTJ, ISFJ, INTJ

INTP [ 3% of US population/ 8% of bpdfamily participants]

Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical. More Info

INTP is most compatible with: ENTP, ENFP, ESTP / least compatible with : ISTJ, ISFJ, INFJ



Information Pages in the Thread

Here is the link to the test       

Trait Definitions (Introversion, Extroversions, Sensing, Thinking, etc.) <click here>

Profiles Descriptions (ENTJ, ESTP, etc) <click here>

Compatibility Profiles <click here>

Incompatibility Profiles <click here>

Data Summary <click here>

[ems mother]

Female, age 58 ENTP

This works out well with my True Colors testing too.  I am a mega Orange and High Green  - my judging and feeling are down in the tubes.  Maybe this is helping me cope better with my efforts to detach.  Of course, it also exacerbates the conflicts between me and my dxBPDd33.

My s35 likes it though as we still do the hard rock concerts together (first concert I took them to was Motorhead opening for Alice Cooper when s was 12 and d10.  We have been rocking together since then.

ems mother

[Sadforson]

Survey Results



INTP [ 3% of US population/ 8% of bpdfamily participants]

Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical. More Info

female INTP

[EF]

INFP [ 4% of US population/ 13% of bpdfamily participants]

Idealistic, loyal to their values and to people who are important to them. Want an external life that is congruent with their values. Curious, quick to see possibilities, can be catalysts for implementing ideas. Seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential. Adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened. More Info

Another INFP here.

[Vivgood]

That is ENFPs superpower, and why introverts love us. We are like alcohol minus the hangover!

Too true my friend! altho after my ex ENFP, I have had a mild, 20-year hangover



vivgood, INTJ

[just_think]

That is ENFPs superpower, and why introverts love us. We are like alcohol minus the hangover!

Too true my friend! altho after my ex ENFP, I have had a mild, 20-year hangover



vivgood, INTJ

I've been doing a lot of reading up on the MBTI.  Really fascinating stuff.  I find us INFP are like a fine wine compared to our ENFP brethern's party keg to INTJ types. (I also find that I tend to like the ENFP party keg as I've begun typing friends and I have a lot)

[PotentiallyKevin]

Yeah, INFPs are like a romantic 1on1 dinner under the moonlight. Passionate, intense and unforgettable .

ENFPs are like a series of crazy all night parties that end up turning into drunken yet still somehow deep philosophical talks around the fireplace at 4 in the morning with everyone ending the night usually arguing over conspiracy theories and then talking about how much we love each other, before passing out. Next morning everyone finds themselves waking up in the most awkward sleeping positions, a reeling head, and no one can seem to find their shoes... .

[just_think]

Yeah, INFPs are like a romantic 1on1 dinner under the moonlight. Passionate, intense and unforgettable .

ENFPs are like a series of crazy all night parties that end up turning into drunken yet still somehow deep philosophical talks around the fireplace at 4 in the morning with everyone ending the night usually arguing over conspiracy theories and then talking about how much we love each other, before passing out. Next morning everyone finds themselves waking up in the most awkward sleeping positions, a reeling head, and no one can seem to find their shoes... .

Lol, perfect descriptions. 

Borderline ex = INFP

Previous 5 year long relationship ex = ENFP

my currently closest friend = ENFP x100000

[PotentiallyKevin]

Yeah, INFPs are like a romantic 1on1 dinner under the moonlight. Passionate, intense and unforgettable .

ENFPs are like a series of crazy all night parties that end up turning into drunken yet still somehow deep philosophical talks around the fireplace at 4 in the morning with everyone ending the night usually arguing over conspiracy theories and then talking about how much we love each other, before passing out. Next morning everyone finds themselves waking up in the most awkward sleeping positions, a reeling head, and no one can seem to find their shoes... .

Lol, perfect descriptions. 

Borderline ex = INFP

Previous 5 year long relationship ex = ENFP

my currently closest friend = ENFP x100000

I am still under the impression that pwBPD can't be accurately tested MBTI. The lack of self and mirroring will get in the way. Otherwise - INFP or ISFP would be the "borderline" MBTI personality... .

[just_think]

I am still under the impression that pwBPD can't be accurately tested MBTI. The lack of self and mirroring will get in the way. Otherwise - INFP or ISFP would be the "borderline" MBTI personality... .

They can still be typed to a degree.  Over on the borderline help site (for those with the disorder), there was actually a thread on the same thing and it ran the gamut of types. I typed mine as INFP based on long term behaviors even outside of our relationship.  Admittedly, she very well could have been ISFP as well but I think she had enough intuition to be categorized as IN - just that it was all directed in the wrong direction.       

[Vivgood]

I am still under the impression that pwBPD can't be accurately tested MBTI. The lack of self and mirroring will get in the way. Otherwise - INFP or ISFP would be the "borderline" MBTI personality... .

I've been typed as INTJ since I was a 20-something BPD. Hasn't changed, except that my percentage  P vs J has moved closer to P as I've aged... .I attribute it to life as a single mom- you gotta roll with the punches! and a stepmom- don't expect much and you won't be disappointed!

BPDdd is an ENTJ (like DH) and BPDsis is ESFP (total opposite from me).

On the other hand, I think it not unlikely that some borderlines will change a letter or 2 after recovery... .its a big change. And me being an Aspie plays into my unrelenting (inescapable? insufferable?) INTJ-ness


vivgood

[Mable]

ENTP female here.  This is interesting, we are tested every year at work and I never really got into it.  Wonder what my BPD is, I'm guessing ESFJ but could be totally off.  I know in some of the pamphlets they give us for tips that it says the shadow functions take over in extreme stress.  So she can exhibit ESFJ but in reality be INTP.  Interesting

[Blixtbarn]

My N is far stronger than my S.  Which meant that no one ever gets my jokes.  And which means I'm one of the few human beings on this planet who knows what my mom is talking about when she isn't in "Wise Mind."  

Me too! Great for making art or mind-reading "crazy people". Awkward when it comes to (attempts at) social interaction.

Another INFJ over here  Hi!

[Nelson]

Also an infj here, hi blixtbarn

[claudiaduffy]

I know that personality disorders kind of make ordinary personality tests at least partially invalid, but if any of you find the Myers-Briggs/MBTI/Jung personality types helpful in your understanding of yourselves, have you been able to use it to help understand the PD'd in your life?

My uBPDmom is, or would be if you zapped the BPD out of her, an ESFJ. Extreme levels of each. I am an INFJ/P, and studying the dynamics between our types has been really fascinating and in some ways helpful for me. For example, it's hard to find INFJs getting along easily with ESFJs in any circumstance. (I was delighted to find company with other INFJ children of ESFJs here - www.personalitycafe.com/infj-forum-protectors/25076-micromanaging-esfj-mother-infj-daughter-conflict.html ) So, knowing this has helped me be able to see things in our relationship that are exacerbated by her BPD but not caused by it. And that has made me able to respect her inborn personality in some of our differences, instead of just chalking it all up to the disorder.

[Clearmind]

CD, yes absolutely! I have an uBPD father and BPDexbf.

I have worked extensively on this. I did one with my T using RHETI (The Enneagram Institute) and I came out with:

Type 9: peace maker ~ The Easygoing, Self-Effacing - Receptive, Reassuring Agreeable, and Complacent

and closely followed by

Type 6: Loyalist ~ The Committed, Security-Oriented Type - Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious.

The basic fear of a Type 9 is loss and separation and tend to be the referee rather than the player in the game ~ enter BPD! The key motivation for a Type 9 is wanting to create harmony in the environment, to avoid conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb them ~ devoted to the quest of internal and external peace for myself and others.

Having an uBPD father I was the studious peace maker of the family, the one who didn't rock the boat, pulled the family together during a crisis, was the first port of call to fix including all manner of binds my father got himself into. Not much changed when I became an adult ~ I was a BPD magnet because I thought I could 'deal' or handle anything that came my way ~ I was use to high drama ~ in time it was to my own detriment.

So now I have learnt to balance out my peace keeper type personality with boundary setting and knowing my own limits. Its all a work in progress but needless to say I found my voice.

[SmokeyViolets]

I've noticed the majority of the people I suspect of having BPD are ISFP's and ESFJ's (mirrors of each other). I know many more healthy people of that type then not, but it seems like it would be easy to slip into wrong thinking when your emotional world is so concrete to you.

And yeah, Clearmind, 9 makes sense to me too. The downward spiral into wrong thinking.

I'm an INFP and a 4 and I think NPD is probably more common among types like myself (mainly IN's), if you follow the enneagram spiral correlation. I do know at least one INFP with NPD and an ENTJ.

CD, I've been thinking about this a lot lately too. *winks*

[BehindTheWall]

I'm an INTJ and believe my uBPDm is an ISFJ.  It does explain some of our conflict as female ISFJs tend to be big on homemaking and thrive on gratitude.  INT types are generally the opposite of that.  So I don't care about the things she thinks are important and I'm not naturally good at giving her the gratitude and encouragement she needs.

When I first learned about Myers-Briggs types, I was taught that SFs are the most likely to have trouble with depression, or have the hardest time getting out of depression, something like that, as they are focused on their feelings and the present moment and have difficulty envisioning things getting better in the future.  (Not knocking SFs as I have my own struggles with depression.)  I wouldn't be surprised if there is a correlation between SFs and BPD (or at least Fs).

[allergictodramaSD]

One book I've found helpful in this regard (and have recommended here before) is The New Personality Self-Portrait, by Oldham and Morris.  One of the authors helped to write the personality disorders section of the DSM (the last one by now, I think), so it's quite scientifically solid, but also accessible (lots of anecdotes/made-up but mostly quite believable illustrative characters, practical advice for coping with people).  The basic premise of the book is that we all have personalities made up of a combination of traits, and that, in people with personality disorders, at least one of the traits is carried to a disabling extreme.  Many of the traits are pretty similar to Myers-Briggs, but one comes up with a map of stronger and weaker traits rather than 4 letters (and the authors argue that the balance of traits can change somewhat over time).   The book has plenty of advice for helping normal people with differing personalities (romantic partners, parents and children, colleagues) get along, and also some (careful, qualified) advice for coping with people with PDs (all of it in keeping with what's advised on this board; the authors encourage self-preservation and self-care, setting boundaries, and getting out of toxic relationships if/when necessary).   I think it's likely to appeal to anyone who finds Myers-Briggs helpful, while also offering a slightly different perspective, and addressing the issue of what happens when normal variations in human personality pass over into the realm of pathology. 

Even having read this book, I find it difficult to figure out what my uBPD/NPD stepmother would be like if she weren't PD'd.  She's definitely more of an extrovert than I am (which is probably true of 95%+ of the population, so that's not saying much), and I initially thought that difference might be at the root of many of our misunderstandings, but that difference pales in the face of her many projections, blackings, etc.  And, as I've written elsewhere, at least for her, one BPD (and perhaps also NPD) trait seems to be that she feels extremely threatened by the idea that people are different. If people are just like her, and agree with her in every way, then all is right with her world; the moment one gets into the realm of difference, even differences that, as far as I can see, have no positive or  negative value attached to them, she's uncomfortable.  She seems to need there to be one right way to be, and she needs to know the rules so she can be sure she's following them, and thus "right."  She also needs an audience, and plenty of reassurance.  So, when she says there must be something wrong with me because "I have no friends" (meaning that I often spend free time alone, by choice, and see the relatively few but good friends I do have regularly but not necessarily weekly or even monthly), it's hard to tell whether she's being an extrovert who just can't understand enjoying, even wanting to, spend time alone (and I've encountered more than one of those), or whether she's being a pwBPD who is, on some level, threatened by the fact that I have a clear sense of my identity even without anybody else present to reflect it back to me.  When I first met her, I assumed the former (partly because I'm aware that I'm far at one end of the introvert/extrovert scale, and can puzzle people at the other end, or even the middle); now, I tend to think it's as much the latter.  I suppose the blacking/black-white thinking and rigidity in her judgments (at least of me), might also be seen as J traits in Myers-Briggs language, but I'm somewhat J myself (I've regularly come out INTJ on M/B tests, with all of the tendencies fairly mild except the I),  and it took me a long time to get to the point of saying "okay; I'm not blameless in this situation, but I also can't make it better without her also wanting that, and she clearly doesn't," or even of labeling her in my own mind as seriously mentally ill (partially because she spends an awful lot of time "diagnosing"/psychoanalyzing me, and it felt counterproductive to just do the same thing back.  I still wouldn't enter into the "who's crazy" argument with her and my father, but understanding that she's PD'd in some way, and that that's a major component of the situation, helps keep me from spending time trying to fix a situation I can't fix). 

[Waiting to Exhale]

I'm an INFJ. Bring in BPD and the fact that a BPDs favorite thing to do is screw with your internal sense of intuition and your feelings on a regular basis and you have for one introspective-judging person who wonders if their intuition and feelings are off kilter or what.  "The protector" personality which explains why I'm overly protective of my brother and some people in my family and find it my "job" to keep them safe...

[claudiaduffy]

One book I've found helpful in this regard (and have recommended here before) is The New Personality Self-Portrait, by Oldham and Morris. 

Ooh! I'll have to check that out.

[GeekyGirl]

Myers-Briggs has always been fascinating to me. I'm an ISTJ and I'm fairly certain that my enDad is as well (we're both engineers and 75% of engineers are ISTJs). No idea what uPBDMom is, but if I had to guess, I'd say ESFJ. It kind of explains why I keep looking for patterns in her behavior... .

[backontop]

As I read alot of these posts, I notice that we Nons on here share a lot of similar traits, just as our BPDs share similar patterns.   I have always been a big fan of the Myers-Briggs personality profile and have wondered how we might be similar in that nature.  

I am the Idealist/Healer    (INFP), that is my personality to a T... . Im codependent also, but that I can work on.  My personality is what it is.

[Willy]

INFP, the description is spot on!

[MaybeSo]

I am INFP. In my masters program to become a therapist I was with a cohort of about 12. This was the predominant personality style in the class, this and INFJ, almost all were introvert intuitives. The professor said this is what he has seen for years.

[Mystic]

INFJ every time I test. 

[realityhurts]

Artisan - Crafter (ISTP) for me. I broadly agree with the description.

[loveisblind]

I am the typical ENTJ. my exBPD was an INTJ.

[runninggal81]

ENFP [ 8% of US population/ 14% of bpdfamily participants]

Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency. More Info

I'm an ENFP.

"Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves."

[susanleona]

INFP, but close to INTP which I need to be to detach.

[just_think]

INFP here as well, with a pretty even T function. (Us INFP dudes are pretty rare/ awesome if I do say so myself)

There's a reason we are called "healers" - I think they are partially drawn to that.

Not sure exactly, but I'm fairly certain my ex was INFP as well. Maybe I was drawn to her... .

Learning about the MBTI functions has been pretty interesting post break up and this topic has come up a couple of times before.

It seems moreso than the other types, INFP, ENFP, INFJ, INTP and INTJ are all drawn to those with borderline personality because on the outside, they seem so much more interesting than the rest of humanity.  Our intuitive types need a bit... .more than the average bear. Once that mask is lifted and we see the nothingness behind it though... .

As for the pwBPDs,  I ran across a thread on the BPD forums that showed the gammut of personality types. INTJ, INFJ, and INFP are all popular types though from what I remember.

[Willy]

It seems moreso than the other types, INFP, ENFP, INFJ, INTP and INTJ are all drawn to those with borderline personality because on the outside, they seem so much more interesting than the rest of humanity.  Our intuitive types need a bit... .more than the average bear. Once that mask is lifted and we see the nothingness behind it though... .

Thats it! I haven't heard about MB before, but when I read the description, every word hit home. I'll read more about it.

I can recognize for myself some co-dependency, altruistic narcisism, and even some BPD traits, but never enough to think thats it. Thanks for the thread backontop.

And yes just_think, lets not forget that despite the issues we have to work through we are awesome.

[just_think]

It seems moreso than the other types, INFP, ENFP, INFJ, INTP and INTJ are all drawn to those with borderline personality because on the outside, they seem so much more interesting than the rest of humanity.  Our intuitive types need a bit... .more than the average bear. Once that mask is lifted and we see the nothingness behind it though... .

Thats it! I haven't heard about MB before, but when I read the description, every word hit home. I'll read more about it.

I can recognize for myself some co-dependency, altruistic narcisism, and even some BPD traits, but never enough to think thats it. Thanks for the thread backontop.

And yes just_think, lets not forget that despite the issues we have to work through we are awesome.

Not just awesome. Totally awesome. 

 

Our type shares the most with BPD behaviors in my opinion.  We care much deeper than many other types.  When people leave our lives, it can affect us pretty bad.  Let's face it, we can be pretty good at tearing up too. 

Something we do different though is that almost all of us INFPs have a strong moral compass.  We are idealists.  We listen to John Lennon's (another INFP) and think "why not?"  The behaviors done by our BPDexes would never fly in a group of solid, healthy INFPs.

[whitedoe]

I'd be interested in taking this Myers-Briggs personality type "test"... .Can you take it for free or do you have to go to a professional? Any suggestions?

Thanks!

WhiteDoe

[id-crisis]

I'd be interested in taking this Myers-Briggs personality type "test"... .Can you take it for free or do you have to go to a professional? Any suggestions?

Thanks!

WhiteDoe

Hi White Doe, no you don't have to pay for it

I just took it again here and came out INFJ:

Here is the link to the test       

Please enter your score in the survey at the top of this thread!

[LifeIsOn]

I have ISFP for sure.

[HostNoMore]

I'm an ENTP.

I think it saved me from longer term abuse from my exBDPgf as we tend to take no BS and can be bluntly outspoken to a fault.  She still mirrored me and play me perfectly until she was ready to ditch me as she is a master of the art of BDP.  I just believe my ENTP characteristics helped get me more quickly(Thankfully!) into the devalue and discard parts of the relationship than what another MTBI types would get.  You either like ENTPs or hate our guts as we always have an opinion.

That can be restated in that I make for a very poor "door mat"which this is what the "Queen Borderline" absolutely requires.

[RedRightAnkle]

Is it possible to be more than one? I took one test and it said I was ISFJ, which sounds like me, but then I took another test and it gave me INFJ, which also sounds like me. Having traits of both a "protector" (needing to be needed and intense loyalty) and a "counselor" (someone who has strong emotions and wants to help others) could make for somebody who ends up with a borderline.

I can't say which one I am more of though - which is kind of funny, because I'm a classic 6 on the enneagram chart, and they are known to be highly contradictory in their personalities - they can be one way, but they can also be the exact opposite. So maybe I'm just a bit of everything! 

[whitedoe]

ENFJ
Warm, empathetic, responsive, and responsible. Highly attuned to the emotions, needs, and motivations of others. Find potential in everyone, want to help others fulfill their potential. May act as catalysts for individual and group growth. Loyal, responsive to praise and criticism. Sociable, facilitate others in a group, and provide inspiring leadership.

Thank you, B! Just took it... .

WhiteDoe is ENFJ... .Hmmm? I am not so familiar with this... .Interesting!

E   N   F   J

Strength of the preferences %

11   38   25   1

[realityhurts]

Is it possible to be more than one? I took one test and it said I was ISFJ, which sounds like me, but then I took another test and it gave me INFJ, which also sounds like me. Having traits of both a "protector" (needing to be needed and intense loyalty) and a "counselor" (someone who has strong emotions and wants to help others) could make for somebody who ends up with a borderline.

I can't say which one I am more of though - which is kind of funny, because I'm a classic 6 on the enneagram chart, and they are known to be highly contradictory in their personalities - they can be one way, but they can also be the exact opposite. So maybe I'm just a bit of everything! 

That's interesting, I just took the test again. Yesterday I was ISTP, today I am ISFP

I can identify with both descriptions to be honest.  If I'm schizophrenic then we're both artists.  

[simon17]

INTJ all day every day.  Description scared me when I first read it because I always felt kind of different/unique and then it was basically like reading my own description of my own personality word for word.  At least INTJ's are quite rare so maybe my perception wasn't too off in being unusual .

[just_think]

Is it possible to be more than one? I took one test and it said I was ISFJ, which sounds like me, but then I took another test and it gave me INFJ, which also sounds like me. Having traits of both a "protector" (needing to be needed and intense loyalty) and a "counselor" (someone who has strong emotions and wants to help others) could make for somebody who ends up with a borderline.

I can't say which one I am more of though - which is kind of funny, because I'm a classic 6 on the enneagram chart, and they are known to be highly contradictory in their personalities - they can be one way, but they can also be the exact opposite. So maybe I'm just a bit of everything! 

We all have traits of both ends of the spectrum and it is really a percentage to one or the other.  For instance, I am roughly 55% "F" and 45% "T", 60% "I" vs 40% "E", etc... .So it can happen if you are really close.  I range from an INFP to an ENTP with NP being me two strongest traits. 

It's pretty easy to determine N vs S.  Do you look for meaning and layers?  What sort of education do you have?  Do you look at things as they are?  Do you like sports? 

Which of these describes what you see more?

1) Si collects data in the present moment and compares it with past experiences, a process that sometimes evokes the feelings associated with memory, as if the subject were reliving it. Seeking to protect what is familiar, Si draws upon history to form goals and expectations about what will happen in the future.[13]2) Attracted to symbolic actions or devices, Ni synthesizes seeming paradoxes to create the previously unimagined. These realizations come with a certainty that demands action to fulfill a new vision of the future, solutions that may include complex systems or universal truths

[just_think]

INTJ all day every day.  Description scared me when I first read it because I always felt kind of different/unique and then it was basically like reading my own description of my own personality word for word.  At least INTJ's are quite rare so maybe my perception wasn't too off in being unusual .

INTJ's can be really rad  

Something about you guys... .

[zoso80]

I test INFJ.

[ellil]

ENTP... .I don't know what ex was, but for sure he was an "E" and a "T"

M

[zoso80]

Fascinating and well put!

From my perspective, that is exactly what I ran into - what I thought what seemed so rich and interesting at first, when the mask came off there was nothing behind it. It was shallow and empty.  I was mortified. The real person was someone whom I abhorred. No ethics, morals, empathy or even nurturing. Nothing like who she promoted herself to be in the idealization phase.

My dxBPDgf tested INFJ as well. I'm not so sure though. With my learning of BPD and the chameleon thing exBPD did, I can't say I feel it's right she's an INFJ. I don't know what she was/is.

The lack of internal identity makes it so difficult to ascertain, at least to me, what their true Myers Briggs letters are.

It's all so - scattering.

It seems moreso than the other types, INFP, ENFP, INFJ, INTP and INTJ are all drawn to those with borderline personality because on the outside, they seem so much more interesting than the rest of humanity.  Our intuitive types need a bit... .more than the average bear. Once that mask is lifted and we see the nothingness behind it though... .

As for the pwBPDs,  I ran across a thread on the BPD forums that showed the gammut of personality types. INTJ, INFJ, and INFP are all popular types though from what I remember.

[HostNoMore]

I score very strongly on the E,T and P part of the tests.  My N an S usually closely, but N slightly outscores S.  I think of myself as a hybrid N/S.

This pattern has continued in the 15 years I've taken these test so it is very stable. 

[bluesclues]

Usually INFJ, but sometimes score ISFJ

[just_think]

My dxBPDgf tested INFJ as well. I'm not so sure though. With my learning of BPD and the chameleon thing exBPD did, I can't say I feel it's right she's an INFJ. I don't know what she was/is.

The lack of internal identity makes it so difficult to ascertain, at least to me, what their true Myers Briggs letters are.

It's all so - scattering.

I wonder this as well.  Did she just subconsciously mirror me?  And that's why she seemed INFP? So much confusion... .

Those with BPD can definitely take the test and it seems that it stays stable to a degree for them from what I've read on BPD forums. 

[bagua]

Hmmm, well I'm an INTJ and my exBPDgf is an ENFP, so far I saw one BPD INTJ on here and one non so that's two of us non's to one of them in this category.  Us INTJ's are less than 1% of the population.  We can carry heavy emotion although we hide it pretty well and to most seem pretty un-emotional.  This is the part that always drove my exBPD nuts as she continually escalated things until she could find a way to get a rise out of me(she still is in fact by throwing her new boyfriend in my face only one week after trying to get me to break NC and spend time with her, which of course I didn't).

[moonleaf]

I'm an ESFJ although I answered the questions quickly just now and I'm a little brain dead because it's late!

[leap of faith]

Another INFJ here... .

I love the Myers-Briggs personality type system!

I have a fun book that is about identifying your child's personality type and the best way to parent him/her based on personality type.  It's called "Nurture by Nature: Understand Your Child's Personality Type - And Become a Better Parent."  I've been meaning to read it again (my kids are now 8 and 11 years old,) because when I first read it maybe 5 years ago, I couldn't decide where they fell on all of the dimensions.  Maybe now that they are older, I'll have a clearer sense of it... .

[theladyc]

I'm an INFP and have been labeled one by every test I've taken for the past twelve years.  I think it's my inherent need to nurture and heal that landed me in this situation!

[OBcean]

ENFP.  Major score in the Intuitive part.  Like 100% in every sub-category. 

[ajr5679]

I am a INFP

[Matt]

Here's a comparison of bpdfamily.com members with the whole population:

I/E:  The whole population is 50/50 but bpdfamily.com members are 64% Introverted.

S/N:  The whole population is 73% Sensitive but bpdfamily.com members are 82% iNtuitive.

T/F:  The same:  60% Feeling but bpdfamily.com members are 62% Feeling.

J/P:  The same:  54% Judging and 56% Judging.

So we're more introverted than most people;  and more intuitive and less sensitive.

[beyondbelief]

ENTP

My E is actually very close to I and can change depending on mood.

N & P both very much so.

Interestingly years ago my T was quite high now coming closer to F.

[argyle]

INTJ, strong I and T, balanced (within 2%) for NT

"Mastermind". Introverted intellectual with a preference for finding certainty. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population.

Same as earlier test, now that I consider it.  Relatively high prevalence here compared to general population.  Not sure whether this reflects a tendency to get stuck, study a lot, date BPDs, or take these polls... .

--Argyle

[SmileAnyway]

! RESULTS JUST IN !

Extroverted (E) 77.78% Introverted (I) 22.22%

Sensing (S) 56.25% Intuitive (N) 43.75%

Feeling (F) 52.94% Thinking (T) 47.06%

Judging (J) 58.82% Perceiving (P) 41.18%

Your type is: ESFJ  - 

"Seller". Most sociable of all types. Nurturer of harmony. Outstanding host or hostesses. 12.3% of total population.

[momtario]

This makes me very happy; I am still the same ENFP that I was in high school, before I started my current r/s.

[Hello Kitty]

And tiredmommy, I love ENTJs. DH is one (The Field Marshall) and I appreciate the organized mindset so much, and the aggression can be such a useful trait.

Sometimes!  

Vivgood, I'm happy to see a woman with a similar personality... .I was told that this was not a common personality type & that it was actually rare for a woman to have it... .I feel like less of a freak now.  

I'm an ENTJ too - so, you're not alone as a woman with the personality type... .and I agree, it is extremely useful to have our personality type in business!

[Surnia]

ISFP

Quiet, friendly, sensitive, and kind. Enjoy the present moment, what’s going on around them. Like to have their own space and to work within their own time frame. Loyal and committed to their values and to people who are important to them. Dislike disagreements and conflicts, do not force their opinions or values on others.

Dislike disagreements and conflicts

yes!

[realityhurts]

ISFP

Loyal and committed to their values and to people who are important to them

Maybe the reason I'm having trouble letting go.

[ellil]

INTP

Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%

Intuitive (N) 51.35% Sensing (S) 48.65%

Thinking (T) 62.86% Feeling (F) 37.14%

Perceiving (P) 80% Judging (J) 20%

I took this test one other time, over a year ago, maybe over two years ago, and I distinctly remember the 50%-50% split on extrovert/introvert then too!

[agast84]

INFP

[1brokenwing]

INFP.  

[Leaf]

I did the test as well and I came out a ISTJ, with only a slight preference for S over N.

The description of an ISTJ type includes: "ISTJs are committed, loyal partners, who will put forth tremendous amounts of effort into making their relationships work. Once they have made a commitment to a relationship, they will stick with it until the end. They gladly accept their duty towards fulfilling their role in the relationship."

Info about the personality types on a different website, also info on XXXX Relationships:

www.personalitypage.com/html/high-level.html

[Not2Crazy]

INTP here.

[laelle]

INFJ

[IfOnlyIKnew]

ESFJ

[heartandwhole]

INFJ    Laelle!

[Numbers]

INTP

Thank God, I thought my inner Architect got destroyed. Seems he is just subdued.

[charred]

I am INTJ like many others.

Ideas why so many on this board are INTJ?  (In addition to Internet comfort?)

Thanks.

Matt

Introverted

Intuitive

Thinking

Judging

I too am INTJ

I think my issues started as attachment ones, and I am fearful/avoidant attachment style... which sounds like introverted to me... Intuitive/Thinking also goes together for me... I have tried to understand people, mechanical things, everything... philosophy, psychology, ... very much a person that figures things out and over thinks... and at 50... I can walk in to many situations and just gut feel nail whats going on... the judgemental part, I think is the rescuer/persecutor/victim... way of interacting coming out (maybe that doesn't sound right... but I seem to be the persecutor... using coming sense... against some disordered people... all my life.)

So, from a less than unconditional loving upbringing I think the introversion came, trying to understand it... the intuitive/thinking, and the judgemental traits are from how I relate.

INTJ... fits 100%, I consult and use those skills for clients... few could make sense of the messes I come in to.

However my pwBPD... .  helped me feel stupid for falling for them... and being devastated, not once, but many times... dumb, dumb, dumb.

[Cumulus]

Looking through the traits of each personality type I identified the types I expected nons, which I am assuming the vast majority of posters to be, would have. The following types are what I  expected.

* ISFJ responsible, conscientious, committed, loyal, strive to create harmony and order

* ISTP tolerant, flexible

* ESFJ warm hearted, conscientious, cooperative, want harmony

* ESTP tolerant, flexible

* ENFJ warm, empathetic, responsive, responsible,loyal

The following types are what I didn't expect.

* INFJ insightful about others

* INTJ skeptical

* ENTP good at reading other people

Well I was really wrong. In the first group ENFJ were the only group of posters to score higher then the US average. In the second group ENTP was on par with the average but the other two groups that I had identified as those that would be the least represented by the posters, were in fact the two highest scoring categories, significantly higher then the US average. Go figure. I guess traits such as being insightful about others and bring skeptical don't hold out against love. 

[charred]

Looking through the traits of each personality type I identified the types I expected nons, which I am assuming the vast majority of posters to be, would have. The following types are what I  expected.

* ISFJ responsible, conscientious, committed, loyal, strive to create harmony and order

* ISTP tolerant, flexible

* ESFJ warm hearted, conscientious, cooperative, want harmony

* ESTP tolerant, flexible

* ENFJ warm, empathetic, responsive, responsible,loyal

The following types are what I didn't expect.

* INFJ insightful about others

* INTJ skeptical

* ENTP good at reading other people

Well I was really wrong. In the first group ENFJ were the only group of posters to score higher then the US average. In the second group ENTP was on par with the average but the other two groups that I had identified as those that would be the least represented by the posters, were in fact the two highest scoring categories, significantly higher then the US average. Go figure. I guess traits such as being insightful about others and bring skeptical don't hold out against love. 

I am skeptical by nature (aka INTJ/mastermind)... and was a bit skeptical of my pwBPD... and she circular reasoned and sexed her way past my skepticism. She is ENFJ... wonder what the most common personality type for the pwBPD is?

[Cumulus]

I wonder more about the consistency of their personality type. If a pwBPD retook the test a month later would most retest as the same type or would it be likely to change? What about nons?

[charred]

I wonder more about the consistency of their personality type. If a pwBPD retook the test a month later would most retest as the same type or would it be likely to change? What about nons?

Or if they took the test in a crowd of ENFJ's... would they be ENFJ... etc... good point.

I have taken the test a few times over last 10 yrs... very consistent... but I have been told I am stubborn and hard to change... the pwBPD... might be like asking what color a chameleon is.

[doubleAries]

ESTJ

[ScarletOlive]

I'm ESFJ. It definitely describes me, and I think my personality type helped me growing up because it helped me to sense when there was tension and defuse some situations. ESFJ's love harmony, teamwork, service, and sensitivity, and are geared towards the helping professions.

Finding out your personality type is really great. You can find out common strengths and weaknesses you might have so you can work on those. It also helps you see different career paths common to your personality type.

[heartandwhole]

Wow, just noticed the INFJ is the highest population here at BPD family (of those who bothered to take the test) but lowest in general population.  Yikes, that is bizarre - or maybe not, this is all new to me  

I also had a revelation when I read about the traits of the INFJ.  I realized that I am not weird and there isn't anything wrong with me - this is just how I am wired!  Go figure.  Several of my friends, and even family have intimated that my needing so much down time was abnormal (naturally they would because they are different types) and I have bought into their assessments, even though it just feels right and natural to me.  Lots of other bells were ringing as I read about the INFJ, so this has been a great discovery and a kind of validation that I'm not crazy  

[Cumulus]

I noticed the same thing. What seemed unusual to me was that the INFJ personality is insightful about others, I would have thought those with that trait would be less likely, not significantly more likely to become involved with pwBPD. I posted on the previous page what my picks for personality traits would be for those of us on this site vs general population. I was dead wrong!  Next test I take is going to be what kind of dog do you resemble most. On this one I'm going for golden retriever 5 out of 6 times.  

[just_think]

My ex was INFJ to a T.

It's a perfect match for an INTP like me.

If only she wasn't so narcissistic... .  

[Phoenix.Rising]

Wow, just noticed the INFJ is the highest population here at BPD family (of those who bothered to take the test) but lowest in general population.

My thoughts as well.  1.5% of general population (the lowest) & the highest according to those on BPD Family who have taken the test.  

My results were INFJ, too.  That's quite interesting.

[Mara2]

I turned out ISTJ.  Yup, that's me.  Hmmm.  Gotta process this a little more. 

[whereisthezen]

ENFJ.

[Pearl99]

Normally I test as an ISTJ; today I tested as an ISFJ. It's interesting how the dominance of thinking or feeling tends to change with me. I wonder why that is? From what I have read, these personality types are quite similar. Both value duty, tradition, and loyalty, which definitely describes me. When I fail in those areas, I feel horrible. My ex once told me he is an INFJ. In our relationship, there was definitely a clash between my sensing nature and his intuitive.

[VeryFree]

ISTP, what seems to mean:

hidden, private, has trouble describing feelings, not very affectionate, loner tendencies, lower energy, can be insensitive to the misfortunes of others, disorganized, messy, fears drawing attention to self, anti-tattoos, anti counter culture, not comfortable in unfamiliar situations, avoidant, rather unemotional, does not like attention, more interested in intellectual pursuits than relationships or family, hermetic, not complimentary, dislikes leadership, more submissive then domineering

Lots of truth in that, but not all:

Insensitive? On the contrary.

Messy? No way.

Anti-tattoo? Really not.

Anti counter culture? Let people be who they are.

Unemotional? After a decade with a BPDw!

[causticdork]

INTJ, the current leader in most common board type (just one ahead of INFJ) and the second lowest in general population.  So... .   Introverted intuitive Judgers are clearly BPD magnets.  Either that or the ones that end up here are because we can't just write our exes (or current partners) off as crazy and move on.  We need answers, dang it!  And we will ask the internet until it tells us what is wrong and how to fix it!

[maria1]

I'm ENFP and I'm feeling a little lonely on here right now. There are a few of my type further back in this thread but not recently. Not quite sure what this means nd want to look into it more. I liked the Myers Briggs stuff when I've used it in work and study. Interesting my type isn't supposed to be doing an analytical job which is the job I currently do and I am quite good at. I am not good at the methodical stuff but I often bring a totally different angle to project and this is helpful to others.

[doubleAries]

a month ago, I was ESTJ, this month--ENTJ

[maria1]

I think we can be in different places when we take these tests and, as honest as we try to be, there's always other factors going on. Do many if us are working hard to change aspects of how we interact with others and how we process the world around us, for example practicing mindfulness rather than just reacting from an emotional stance. That's bound to affect the scores on these things. But in not sure we can really change our personality? Interesting to think about.

[VeryFree]

But in not sure we can really change our personality? Interesting to think about.

Our personality has different parts:

- the part you get when you were born;

- the part you get when you were raised;

- the part you get from other experiences.

The first part we can't change I think: with training we can put it away, or with medication, but it won't go far, because it is us.

The second and third part were made by circumstances. Allthough it's hard work I think we can change that.

[maria1]

Yes- I do hope it is possible. I do believe we are the product of our environment and that e can relearn our responses. I went to a meditation class yesterday and I was shocked how the teacher very simply taught that we can refocus our energy on ourselves. Just by using the word 're-enactment' instead of response in terms of how we respond very basically to external stimuli. It made me realise we can re-train our bodies with new 're- enactments'.

I am hopeful. It is hard, hard work.

[ZigofZag]

ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.

Extroverted (E) 69.44% Introverted (I) 30.56%

Intuitive (N) 52.78% Sensing (S) 47.22%

Feeling (F) 58.33% Thinking (T) 41.67%

Perceiving (P) 54.29% Judging (J) 45.71%

Mmmmmmm, sounds about right.

[RecycledNoMore]

INFJ:)

[Turkish]

ISTP. Seems like I am in a minority. I used to be INTP or INFJ years ago when I did this... .I think my BPD experience, in addition to being an engineer in real life for almost 20 years now has changed me somewhat,.

"Engineer"

Introverted (I) 54.29% Extroverted (E) 45.71%

Sensing (S) 53.13% Intuitive (N) 46.88%

Thinking (T) 64.52% Feeling (F) 35.48%

Perceiving (P) 64.52% Judging (J) 35.48%

Now, what I agree and disagree with, which shows the shortcomings of such "tests" (I hate being put into a box):

hidden: Yes. But I have no problem being open. Don't have a problem trusting people. I'll trust you until you prove _by your actions_ (the only things that really matter, not feelings or words) that I can't. That's logical.

private:

Somewhat.

has trouble describing feelings: No. I am VERY aware of my feelings and could easily write a book on things. I think less of people who get wrapped up in their feelings at the expense of mistreating others, however. Told by multiple people for a long time, even recently, that I would make a good therapist.

not very affectionate: No.  I love my freaking kids and people observe I am way more affectionate towards them than most fathers. Others misinterpret other things due to the twisted scripts running in their heads which I won't go into.

loner tendencies: Yes. Less than I used to be though.

lower energy: Yes and no, depending upon the situation. I get up in the morning ready to go. Can work, think, and do things very fast when the situation calls for it. Instantly.

can be insensitive to the misfortunes of others: yes and no. Life happens, freaking deal with it (positively). Been there more than a lot of people. I've become more guarded and cynical the older I get, however.

disorganized: Yes and no. I keep things in my head.

messy: My desk is a mess, but I am organized and very competent financially. I used to not be so much, but was always a bit messy. Why waste time on keeping things neat? There are more important things on which to spend one's time.

fears drawing attention to self: Used to be more like this. Still like this a little bit.

anti-tattoos: Don't care. Other people can do what they wish. Used to want one, but grew out of it by my early 20s... .20 years ago. 

anti counter culture: yes, though I appreciate some things about it. Again, grow the hell up.

not comfortable in unfamiliar situations: Yes, but I am very adaptable and not easily shaken by things that leave other people in a state of indecisiveness. Comes with growing up with constant drama. Adapt. Decide. Don't get stuck in a decision of feeling loop. OODA (look it up) is my middle name in both work and life.

avoidant: yes. HATE drama!

rather unemotional: Yes and no. I control my emotions very well, though I do lapse into periods of short depression sometimes. I can run multiple "scripts" in my head in parallel. Never had a problem with this.

does not like attention: YES. Even though in certain situations, people tell me I am very funny.

more interested in intellectual pursuits than relationships or family: I can do both, and balance them well. So no.

hermetic: Probably. I think this means in the sense of being sealed off and disconnected? I tried to convince myself years ago that I was Schizoid. Grew out of it somewhat, but still have those tendencies. I have the ability to grow and change, however.

not complimentary: Not sure what this means wrt personality.

dislikes leadership: yes and no. I recognize the need for order and submitting to authority to keep things running, but hate the tendency of narcissistic types to be attracted to power and authority. I rebel when it is logically called for, short of violating core moral principles.

more submissive then domineering: yeah, probably. Have trouble establishing boundaries somewhat. I probably to into schizoid mode just splitting from a jerky person rather than dealing with it. I see a person being a jerk as their problem, not mine.

[doubleAries]

Still ENTJ

[Dr.Me2]

I tested INTJ 5 years ago and my score today is also INTJ:

Introverted (I) 61.29% Extroverted (E) 38.71%

Intuitive (N) 75.86% Sensing (S) 24.14%

Thinking (T) 60% Feeling (F) 40%

Judging (J) 57.58% Perceiving (P) 42.42%

[HarmKrakow]

Extroverted (E) 65.71% Introverted (I) 34.29%

Sensing (S) 55.56% Intuitive (N) 44.44%

Thinking (T) 76.47% Feeling (F) 23.53%

Perceiving (P) 71.88% Judging (J) 28.13%

[Ironmanrises]

I tested ISFJ. "Conservator"

Introverted (I) 75% Extroverted (E) 25%

Sensing (S) 51.28% Intuitive (N) 48.72%

Feeling (F) 61.11% Thinking (T) 38.89%

Judging (J) 70.97% Perceiving (P) 29.03%

[starshine]

ENFJ   "Persuader"




Extroverted (E) 68.42% Introverted (I) 31.58%

Intuitive (N) 55.81% Sensing (S) 44.19%

Feeling (F) 68.57% Thinking (T) 31.43%

Judging (J) 54.05% Perceiving (P) 45.95%

[Gidget]

Just clicked on the site to take the test and it stated Norton blocked a web attack from this site

[clljhns]

Your type is: ISTJ

ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 11.6% of total population.




 

[blissful_camper]

Skip, I'm an INFP. You pose an interesting question here. These are some of the traits of INFP's that might me incompatible with my exBPD:

INFPs, more than other intuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives?  

Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante.

INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right.

Interesting summary of INFP.  I'm an INFP.  That explains a lot, thank you. 

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

INFP

Introverted (I) 66% Extroverted (E) 34%

Intuitive (N) 56% Sensing (S) 44%

Feeling (F) 67% Thinking (T) 33%

Perceiving (P) 97% Judging (J) 3%

[goldylamont]

i just took two different online tests and they both say i'm ENFP. not sure how accurate these are really, but was kind of surprised they came out with similar results. also it says that Salmon Rushdie is ENFP--he's one of my favorite authors!  

[Tausk]

Thanks Goldy:  Yeah, I figured you'd be something like that. 

There's an extraordinary number of us on this board who are INXX.  I don't take much creed in the the test, but I find it interesting that INFJ, like myself, are about 1.5% of the general population and the least common, but are about 10% of the "nons". 

The INXX's tend to be more lonely, live in sadness, shame based, and idealistic... .so I guess that makes sense as well.

I'm curious what BPD's fall under.  I'd bet similar to INXX.  Unstable sense of self.  I guess that why so many of us INXX "nons" also wonder if we have BPD by the end of the interaction.

[Blimblam]

I am an INFP also.

wow a lot of INFPs on here. I was at one point in my life an INFJ and I was a really different person then .


A lot of NFs on here and that really makes sense to me and validates me in so many ways.

[ziniztar]

ESTP

Flexible and tolerant, they take a pragmatic approach focused on immediate results. Theories and conceptual explanations bore them – they want to act energetically to solve the problem. Focus on the here-and-now, spontaneous, enjoy each moment that they can be active with others. Enjoy material comforts and style. Learn best through doing.

I guess that underlines my tagline... . 

[PleaseValidate]

I'm INTP today. The IN are usually stable but the other 2 usually fluctuate depending on the year.

[TheBPDSurvivor]

I just took a free test and found it almost accurate describing my personality.

It takes less than 5 mins to take this test and no email or registration required. Simply take the free test and post your results below.



My personality type is ESTP.

[Junknown]

Done this test sometimes on different websites. Seems im an INTJ.  Is there any proven relation found for linking the personality types with the tendency to have a relationship with a borderline and how long it lasts? Mine lasted 1 year and 7 months. But if i had trusted my rational side it wouldnt have gone past some days... .

[BuildingFromScratch]

INFP

[RedDove]

I'm INFJ and was entangled with my BPD exbf for almost 4 years.

[Mutt]

Coincidentally I took this test a couple of days ago and I'm INTJ.

[Danie14]

I'm INFJ

Introverted (I) 67% Extroverted (E) 33%

Intuitive (N) 53% Sensing (S) 47%

Feeling (F) 72% Thinking (T) 28%

Judging (J) 63% Perceiving (P) 37%

INFJ - "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1.5% of total population.

I've taken this assessment on a few different occasion and always come up the same. Not quite sure what it means, tho, not really.

, found this also after clicking the 'find out what it means' tab at the bottom:

INFJ

creative, smart, focus on fantasy more than reality, attracted to sad things, fears doing the wrong thing, observer, avoidant, fears drawing attention to self, anxious, cautious, somewhat easily frightened, easily offended, private, easily hurt, socially uncomfortable, emotionally moody, does not like to be looked at, fearful, perfectionist, can sabotage self, can be wounded at the core, values solitude, guarded, does not like crowds, organized, second guesses self, more likely to support marijuana legalization, focuses on peoples hidden motives, prone to crying, not competitive, prone to feelings of loneliness, not spontaneous, prone to sadness, longs for a stabilizing relationship, fears rejection in relationships, frequently worried, can feel victimized, prone to intimidation, lower energy, strict with self


*the descriptions listed here are made up of personality items. people who scored high on this type scored higher on the above items compared to the average. (more info)


favored careers: psychotherapist, artist, art curator, bookstore owner, freelance writer, poet, teacher (art, drama, english), library assistant, professor of english, painter, novelist, book editor, copywriter, philosopher, environmentalist, bookseller, museum curator, opera singer, magazine editor, archivist, music therapist, screenwriter, film director, creative director, librarian, social services worker, art historian, sign language interpreter, photo journalist, makeup artist, photo journalist, homemaker

disfavored careers: airline pilot, race car driver, businessman, information technology consultant, executive, administrator, supervisor, bartender, lab technician, restaurant owner, strategist, ceo, bar owner, marketing specialist, business consultant

[Pingo]

INFJ here as well.  Would guess my ex is an ISTJ.

[Traumatized]

I have consistently tested as INFP over the 25 years that I have taken the tests.

[Turkish]

I was ISTP (engineer, which is what I do for a living) when I took the test months ago, analyzing the breakdown of my r/s. People here said it. My T said that I was being very analytical about things.

Now I'm ISFP (artist), so now I'm more feeling than thinking. Therapy is a good career for ISFPs, which is what people have always told me I should do, including my T. The technologist/engineer thing is thus far a 22 year side track?

I don't think the I, S, or P will ever change with me.

[Eco]

INFJ here as well.

[going places]

Your type is: ISFJ

ISFJ - "Conservator". Desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal. 13.8% of total population.

[Olivia_D]

INFJ - this has been my score every time I have taken it over the last 12 years.  The only number that really varies is the "thinking" versus "feeling" as sometimes the scores vary but the rest remain spot on.

I was just looking at the voting statistics at the beginning of this thread and recognized that all of the highest percentages of people who have voted (here) all fall into the "Introversion" category and that INFJ, which is I believe the rarest MB category is pretty high in this voting pool.  Introversion and a strong empathetic nature in a non-BPD would seem to be a draw for someone with a PD.  Just a thought.

[repititionqueen]

I got ESFJ

My personality type "enjoys supporting their friends and loved ones, organizing social gatherings and doing their best to make sure everyone is happy."

I think that the CONSUL personality type lends itself really well to being in a relationship with someone with BPD because we will put other people's happiness ahead of our own and go to great lengths to understand and please our partners.

Cheers!  

[Lifewriter16]

ISFP

Hi All,

My result came out as ISFP

Introverted 85%

Sensing 78%

Feeling 51%

Perceiving 65%

Interestingly, I am almost evenly balanced between Feeling and Thinking. I believe this could be because was brought up in a family where emotion wasn't validated and thus I learnt to prioritise thinking, yet I have developed my Feeling capacity and believe that is my natural inclination.

https://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISFP_per.html

"ISFPs are creative, sensitive souls with a great capacity for love. They seek harmony, validation, and affection in their relationships with others. They value creativity and spirituality. Very sensitive and easily hurt by rejection and harshness, they are sometimes drawn to turn their love towards creatures who will love them back unconditionally, such as animals and small children. They believe heartily in unconditional love, and in an individual's right to be themself without being judged harshly for who they are. Of all of the types, the ISFP is most likely to believe that "Love is the answer." For the ISFP, personal success depends upon the condition of their closest relationships, their aesthetic environment and the development of their artistic creativity, their spiritual development, and how much they feel valued and accepted for their individual contributions."

"Nearly all of the problematic characteristics described above can be attributed in various degrees to the common ISFP problem of only taking in data that justifies their personal opinions. ISFPs are usually very intense and sensitive people, and feel seriously threatened by criticism. They are likely to treat any point of view other than their own as criticism of their own perspective... .The main driver to the ISFP personality is Introverted Feeling, whose purpose is to maintain and honor an intensely personal system of values and morals. If an ISFP's personal value system is threatened by external influences, the ISFP shuts out the threatening data in order to preserve and honor their value system. This is totally natural, and works well to protect the individual psyche from getting hurt. However, the ISFP who exercises this type of self-protection regularly will become more and more unaware of other people's perspectives, and thus more and more isolated from a real understanding of the world that they live in. They will always find justification for their own inappropriate behaviors, and will always find fault with the external world for problems that they have in their lives. It will be difficult for them to maintain close personal relationships because they will have unreasonable expectations, and will be unable to accept blame."

Lifewriter x

[JaneStorm]

ISTP, still, after all of these years!

Introverted (I) 51%   Extroverted (E) 49%

Sensing (S) 56%       Intuitive (N) 44%

Thinking (T) 54%       Feeling (F) 46%

Perceiving (P) 51%    Judging (J) 49%


I love my Carl Gustav Jung

[Fr4nz]

INTJ


Introverted (I) 71% Extroverted (E) 29%

Intuitive (N) 73% Sensing (S) 27%

Thinking (T) 73% Feeling (F) 27%

Judging (J) 77% Perceiving (P) 23%

One thing that is a little bit strange for me is to be 71% introverted... .I feel much more extroverted than that!

[eeks]

If you are interested in MBTI, I recommend looking up "cognitive functions".  In addition to being "introverted/extroverted" each of the 4 functions (N, S, T, F) is said to be expressed in an introverted or extroverted way.  There's controversy over whether MBTI is a valid predictor of anything, but as a personal awareness tool I find the cognitive functions approach more useful.

Also, I looked at the survey on this thread, and I notice that there are more N than S types, (with the exception of (ESxJ) - this is opposite to the general population (which is something like 75% S, 25% N)

A bit of wild speculation, but because N is interested most in ideas and possibilities, and S is most interested in data brought in by the 5 senses... .for those with an N preference, maybe the pwBPD represents a fascinating mystery to figure out?  (Or we see their "potential"?  I'm guilty of that one)  Whereas the S, with their "what you see is what you get" approach, does not like what they see right now, in the pwBPD?

[Moselle]

ENFP at the moment.

I have been ENTP in the past, as well as ESTJ, so for me N&S, F&T and P&J are "borderline"  

[MammaMia]

ESFJ

Warmhearted, conscientious, and cooperative. Want harmony in their environment, work with determination to establish it. Like to work with others to complete tasks accurately and on time. Loyal, follow through even in small matters. Notice what others need in their day-by-day lives and try to provide it. Want to be appreciated for who they are and for what they contribute.

Thanks.

[Curiously1]

ENFJ 

[purekalm]

ISFJ   

I took it twice and came up with the same result, just a 1% higher in the first letter and a 2% jump in the second. Interesting. =)

[steelwork]

Apparently I'm an ENFP this time. Every time I take one of these tests I get a different result. This one in particular is oddly political!

[Skip]

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator was developed in 1944 and it should be stable. The third party has subbed in his own model and is apparently testing it.

Here is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test.
www.similarminds.com/jung_word_pair.html

We fixed the OP.

[steelwork]

Now I'm an EFSP!

Skip: my understanding was that the Myers-Briggs indicator is proprietary and is administered by someone with training and certification. Is that true? There are a lot of online Myers-Briggs type tests out there, though. I don't know how to assess their value. Where did this one come from?

[Skip]

There are 93 metrics on Myers-Briggs self test instrument. Our questionnaire (the on that we point members to) has half that. The questionnaire was pretested before we used it and we have many members that have taken the 93 metrics and correlated with this questionnaire. Good? Yes. Exact? No.

Typically the reason we get varied results (if we do) has to do with where we are on the scale. For example, I am on the borderline between E and I. My employees rate me slightly over the mid point at E. I rate myself slight below the midpoint at I. In a professional Myers-Briggs environment they talk about not only the category but the strength of the designation. I fit between two boxes.

There are 4 quadrants in Myers-Briggs. There are personality test that go no further than these 4 (True Colors personality type).  Myers-Briggs subdivides the 4 quadrants in 4 units each (16), so there is more crossover.

[woundedPhoenix]

INFP here and i see how being an INFP can land you in a BPD relationship. INFPs idealise partners too, try to keep seeing the good in people, have lots of empathy and can go to extreme lengths when it comes to forgivess.

INFPs are feelers foremost... .and intense feelings can suppress their already underdevelopped rational functions.

Realising that while being the rarest type of all, and the more rational of all feelers, INFJs are most represented here, seems to comform my suspicion that certain types have an extreme high chance to attract and try to relentlessly work things out with a BPD partner.

[RareJewel]

Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
Sensing (S) 58.33% Intuitive (N) 41.67%
Thinking (T) 58.33% Feeling (F) 41.67%
Perceiving (P) 50% Judging (J) 50%

Your type is: ISTJ

[Tattered Heart]

I wonder more about the consistency of their personality type. If a pwBPD retook the test a month later would most retest as the same type or would it be likely to change? What about nons?

My H hates this test because he scores differently every single time he takes it. Last time we took the test together I realized that it probably fluctuates due to his fluctuating sense of self.

I am a solid INTJ. It's been that way forever. I am very surprised at the high population of INTJs on this site that have taken this test as it is one of the rarest Myers-Briggs Types making up only .8% of the population.

Is there something about an INTJ that draws pwBPD to us? INTJs are very stoic. We do not make rash decisions and do not show strong emotion easily. We make firm decisions which could easily give a narcissitic supply. Could a pwBPD be drawn to the emotional stableness of an INTJ? Or could we seem emotionally unavailable, which triggers the push/pull of someone with BPD?

[purekalm]

I wanted to post this because I thought it interesting. Back a little bit ago, still struggling with my ex husband leaving and all the damage up til that point I took this test twice and got ISFJ.

Now, a while later, mostly healed and feeling more like myself than I have in years I decided to take the test again and got INFJ. To me, it's like, my personality was stifled under him and not able to be me and now that it's not I tested differently because it's more like who I really am as opposed to what he tried to make me. 

[DaddyBear77]

Introverted (I) 62.5% Extroverted (E) 37.5%
Intuitive (N) 54.17% Sensing (S) 45.83%
Feeling (F) 58.33% Thinking (T) 41.67%
Perceiving (P) 54.17% Judging (J) 45.83%

Your type is: INFP

I took the official MBTI assessment 10 years ago today and I got the exact same result (INFP).

As Skip pointed out, the online version has fewer type pairs. The result is that there are fewer questions that correspond to a given spectrum (e.g., I vs E, N vs S), and therefore your percentages could be much closer to "50/50" artificially.

For example, when I took the official assessment, I was a very strong "N" vs "S", but here, it's 55/45. More questions regarding my preference for "The way you take in information" would have likely indicated a much stronger Intuition preference vs a Sensing preference.

But in the end, I appear to be consistently INFP over many years.

[JQ]

Test said I'm a ISTJ ... .

[MarkTwain]

My H hates this test because he scores differently every single time he takes it. Last time we took the test together I realized that it probably fluctuates due to his fluctuating sense of self.

I am a solid INTJ. It's been that way forever. I am very surprised at the high population of INTJs on this site that have taken this test as it is one of the rarest Myers-Briggs Types making up only .8% of the population.

Is there something about an INTJ that draws pwBPD to us? INTJs are very stoic. We do not make rash decisions and do not show strong emotion easily. We make firm decisions which could easily give a narcissitic supply. Could a pwBPD be drawn to the emotional stableness of an INTJ? Or could we seem emotionally unavailable, which triggers the push/pull of someone with BPD?

Its the planning, and the polar opposite ways - if you ask me... .When I was with xBPD we were Ying/yang - it worked really well. I'm in the Asperger's camp as well, so I may be slightly tweaked from standard intj. We complemented eachother well as a solid couple - right up until she turned. Then I was a POS etc etc etc.

That was where I got confused - solid day 1 - day 2 i had to say no to some unreasonable requests (just could not be done) day 3 was the road to abuse and divorce.

[Pedro]

ISFJ

[Harley Quinn]

ESFP

Extroverted (E) 62.5% Introverted (I) 37.5%
Sensing (S) 62.5% Intuitive (N) 37.5%
Feeling (F) 62.5% Thinking (T) 37.5%
Perceiving (P) 79.17% Judging (J) 20.83%

[confusedbloke]

Extroverted (E) 83.33% Introverted (I) 16.67%
 Sensing (S) 70.83% Intuitive (N) 29.17%
 Feeling (F) 54.17% Thinking (T) 45.83%
 Judging (J) 54.17% Perceiving (P) 45.83%


 Your type is: ESFJ

ESFJ - "Seller". Most sociable of all types. Nurturer of harmony. Outstanding host or hostesses. 12.3% of total population. 


Sounds about right!

[Speck]

Introverted (I) 66.67% Extroverted (E) 33.33%
Sensing (S) 87.5% Intuitive (N) 12.5%
Thinking (T) 62.5% Feeling (F) 37.5%
Judging (J) 83.33% Perceiving (P) 16.67%

Your type is: ISTJ

ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time-honored institutions. Dependable. 11.6% of total population.

Interesting... .I would have thought myself more intuitive.

[jazzed2b]

Cool test... .I am an ESTJ and appears to be spot on!


Extroverted (E) 79.17% Introverted (I) 20.83%
Sensing (S) 83.33% Intuitive (N) 16.67%
Thinking (T) 75% Feeling (F) 25%
Perceiving (P) 50% Judging (J) 50%

Your type is: ESTJ

[deirdre]

I'm an INTP, raised by parents with quite different personality types nBP mother, ISFJ and uBPD father, ESTJ. Quite the roll of the dice here, a mix of them both yet so very different from either.
As a side note working through all the emotionally charged situations as an INTP have been ridiculously challenging. Well working through them by accepting my own emotions and not denying I have them that is. Logically working through them as I pretend to be a detached observer "worked well" for many years.

[JNChell]

ISFJ

Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
Sensing (S) 70.83% Intuitive (N) 29.17%
Feeling (F) 58.33% Thinking (T) 41.67%
Judging (J) 62.5% Perceiving (P) 37.5%

Interesting on how extroverted/introverted was a tie breaker. I was extremely introverted as a child, but eventually came out of my shell throughout my late teens and early adult life. I have definitely been in a back swing of introversion over about the last decade. Isolation will do that.

[1stTimer]

I've taken it 4x now I spit evenly between INFP and INTJ. Does that make me an INFPTJ?

[Panda39]

INFJ - The "Advocate" https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality

Panda39

[JNChell]

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=60827.0

Reflection and processing these relationships coming to an end can be very hard on our emotions. Sometimes, paralyzing. There comes a time, if we decide to heal, that we must begin to look within ourselves and the part that we played within the dysfunction and hurt that we anchored ourselves in.

This is great assessment to help us find our bearings and have a better understanding on who we are currently being. Take the test. You’ll find it helpful if not interesting.

[once removed]

ive been an INFP every time ive taken the test. nearly 50/50 on a couple of the traits, though.

[Sandb2015]

ENFP-T

Interesting, I put some thought into this, not label, just interesting, we all have our own looking glass self also.

[Longterm]

INFJ my ex was right, I'm very special and rare .

I already knew this from when I was exploring my own part in the disaster.

[Resiliant]

That was fun!
I got "Your Personality Type is: Campaigner"  ENFP-A   

[secretgirl]

ISFJ-A
 what a very interesting test.


"Defenders are true altruists, meeting kindness with kindness-in-excess and engaging the work and people they believe in with enthusiasm and generosity."