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Author Topic: BPD BEHAVIORS: Waif, Hermit, Queen, and Witch  (Read 106825 times)
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Gender: Male
Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 135

« Reply #20 on: June 12, 2014, 11:06:26 AM »

I can say without a doubt my wife is a combination of Waif, Witch and Queen, it depends on which one she is that day or situation.

The Waif is the easiest to deal with as she is somewhat down and at least will listen and be comforted.

The Queen version is the uppity entitled version that looks down on everyone else. I cant stand this one either. She will discard my compliments but accept anything from any other male. This version also points out my lack of ability to make her happy.

The Witch is for those split black. Unforgiving, revenge and punishment. This tends to be the scariest and where my hopelessness comes from. This is the worst version by far.

I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.-Daniel Tosh


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Person in your life: Parent
Posts: 6

« Reply #21 on: February 17, 2015, 11:40:05 AM »

My mother fit the bill to all of these (practically a textbook case). 8 years have passed since she died and I actually feel guilty for making this post.

I just posted for the first time today and I felt guilty for making the post as well, because I know if she knew I posted about her, she would be incredibly hurt and make me feel incredibly guilty.  I also realize that my mom shifts between these personas depending on the situation. 
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Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2580

« Reply #22 on: November 12, 2015, 01:37:13 AM »

Reading this post makes me want to throw up.

(trigger warning: physical abuse)

My mother was physically abusive to me, she would do things like pinch me under the arms to punish me. She said her mother did even worse things like prick her hand with a needle. She would also wash my mouth out with soap, spank me with a wooden spoon.

My dad on the other hand said his mother threatened to commit suicide in front of him when he was 7 or 8.

I'm struggling to deal with the fact that my dad could be diagnosed with NPD if he saw a therapist.

Reading this post makes me feel scared.

I do have PTSD, and have been struggling with anxiety for several weeks, so I am definitely taking this in at a slow pace.

Thank you for posting it. I am still trying to work my way through surviving the borderline parent, checked out from the library.
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Person in your life: Other
Posts: 9587

Dad to my wolf pack

« Reply #23 on: November 12, 2015, 01:47:43 AM »

Despite my mom swearing like a Marine, I got my mouth washed out with soap, too. A generational thing? Care to start a thread on C&H? I haven't seen this one mentioned, yet I suspect a lot of us had that happen.

“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
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Gender: Female
Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2580

« Reply #24 on: November 12, 2015, 01:54:33 AM »

Sure, although I'm not familiar with the acronym C&H.

I also started to read the thread on problematic parenting and tried to post after the first page but my session timed out so I lost my post. Maybe its for the better as I felt more triggered.

I can briefly sum up what I posted here.

I also experienced my mom forcing her way into my room, reading my diary, checking my pockets at the door.

She wouldn't let me do chores as she thought I would break the laundry machine or I wouldn't clean things well enough. To this day she still criticizes my dad for how he does the chores.

She put a chain and lock around the freezer to keep me out.

Recently I asked my dad how I ate lunch in high school, was I given money or a lunch? He couldn't answer, he said he would ask my mom but she never got back to me.

Reading all this brings back so many memories, it make me want to throw up.

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Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 54

« Reply #25 on: November 17, 2015, 02:55:07 PM »

The Waif marries a Frog Prince, someone she can rescue and who she thinks will rescue her.The Waif identifies with the Frog's helplessness and fantasizes about providing for him what she needs for herself.

The Hermit seeks a Hunter, a partner who will pity and protect her. The Borderline Hermit envies the Huntsmen's courage desperately seeks his soothng presence.

Never seen that relation before. Very accurate for my case. ExBPD was hermit/waif, and I'm sort of a hunter/frog prince. Sad.
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