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Author Topic: BPD: What is it? How can I tell?  (Read 91894 times)
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From Utopia to Dystopia to Reality

« Reply #50 on: October 07, 2013, 03:01:16 AM »


I was wondering if there is some logic behind high and low functioning BPD.

My ex partner was high functioning even perfectionistic in her work.  I've seen other high functioning ones becoming low functioning ones due to alcohol abuse.  But I've also seen some high functioning ones drinking only at home or elsewhere when they are not at work.  Most curious !  As if they manage to make a boundary on that matter for themselves.

I was wondering how many can relate to this :

The high functioning ones I know, all had the example of parents who were actually very hard working and had very little time for their child or children.  This may have triggered the borderline at a young age as weel of course.

Could this high functioning have anything to do with the example they got at home ?



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« Reply #51 on: October 07, 2013, 03:46:25 AM »

Hi Reg,

I think that everyone is influenced by their parents' values-everyone..not just borderlines. I notice that I'm becoming more like my parents the older I get..picking up both their good and bad habits. There is that phrase "the apple doesn't fall from the tree" for a reason.

You're right-high functioning alcoholics do set a boundary of sorts with themselves. They think "oh I'm not as bad as a chronic alcoholic because I don't drink all the time/I only drink at home/I only drink after a stressful day at work". Drinking to alleviate stress is a big issue with them... it's the ultimate excuse.

You mention that high-functioning alcoholics can become low-functioning-that tends to happen in the later stages of their alcoholism.

I think there are some parents that prioritize work so much because they want their children to be financially independent as adults. They may think "yes I'm working very hard now but that's only to pay for my child's good education etc". So sometimes the emotional neglect aspect isn't deliberate..it may be borne out of good intentions. These type of parents may not have the communication skills needed to emotionally care for a child either-they may be of the attitude that "children should be seen and not be heard". Parenting styles have changed so much recently-it's all about children's self-esteem, thoughts and feelings etc whereas before it was much more about survival..ensuring that the child was able to fend for itself basically.

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« Reply #52 on: October 07, 2013, 07:08:05 AM »

HI  well my mom was BPD a widow, she never touched alchohol or drugs of any kind, I was emotionally and physically abused by her, I am high functioning with some BPD traits they are related to the trauma I lived in growing up as a small child, living in fear of not knowing what she was going to do to me next , low self worth, the need to be accepted by others at any cost, shame, I believe to cope as a child to survive since no one was there to protect me, I became an expert at hiding all these symptoms to survive, push things way down deep no one would have imagined but another trauma in my life brought these more to the for front so I am just beginning my journey I have a great T who really knows my history and he put the pieces together,and I finally understand why I think and do the things I do so I do believe everyone has different reasons for how they internalize lifes experience but yes I have succesful career long marriage and amazing kids but internally struggling  all my life, its the only thing I know, it keeps one yet alone in there shame i dont want anyone to think I cant handle life so thats how someone can be high functioning at least in my case... smiley
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« Reply #53 on: October 31, 2013, 04:52:36 AM »

Having said that... culturally, I really do worry sometimes that as a whole we are moving more toward a cult of personality that embraces and even  worships immature 'child-like' behaviors and in essence we are creating a personality disordered culture... meaning, as a culture, it has become more acceptable to lack empathy, look and act young all the time, be selfish and self absorbed, have your cake and eat it to, enjoy getting over and one-upping others,  have to get all your childish "id" needs met instantly,  feel entitled,  absolutely no deferred gratification (eg., total and instant access to drugs, porn, instant contact w/ the mother ship at all times, shallow communication all the time w/ little or no depth etc.), we don't want to raise our own kids, everything that takes time and patience is downplayed as just a pain in the ass, we want to feel 'good all the time' and if we don't it someone's fault... we are in a way... becoming a very childish " borderline" society.  But that is just my humble, worried opinon.

one of the searing things about my disaster is that my stbxw's actions have been exculpated. in other words, that her immaturity, her lack of empathy, her selfishness, her entitlement, her other-blaming, things mentioned above, have been found excuses for. "there's two sides to every pancake" i was told; "the marriage wasn't working" too: so deceit, infidelity and adultery are to be "understood", but have no moral content. facing one's patterns, facing the effects of behaviors on others?

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BPD young ones? Love, patience, support.

« Reply #54 on: November 01, 2013, 11:37:03 PM »

Finally an answer.  For six years I've been ok dealing with ADHD and cyclothymia, even some addictions, but there's always been those underlying issues that nothing else, no diagnosis has been able to encompass.

What is often overlooking is that dual diagnosis situation can exist, and this is quite common with BPD.

I don't have the citation, but I read from an authoritative source, but 25% of BPD have ADHD, but in this case it is typically over looked.

cyclothymia- never given it much credibility, from anything I have experienced.

However I mean I could help I am pretty good with ADHD, if you are interested PM, I can send you a pretty good list to identify if ADHD may ALSO be present.

Maybe its just BPD, but if the person ALSO has ADHD, the best outcome will be obtained from the dual treatment of both disorders. Primarily DBT therapy for the BPD, but you want a good therapist, many are close minded to this, but it is accepted in the higher reaches of psychiatric academia to be a legitimate thing to treat BOTH disorders when they co-exist.

Some therapist are like "OMG! But the psycho-stimulants for ADHD, very bad if a person with BPD decided to over dose on them", true yes, but there are ways to manage risks to a degree.

Typically I mean in ADHD + BPD, I read typical treatment, is psycho-stimulant (gold standard for ADHD treatment, but some other treatments do exist) + low dose neuroleptic. Low dose neuroleptics (antipsychotics), do not be scared off, nothing to do with psychosis. Most atypical antipsychotics are KNOWN to have antidepressant effects in low doses. Low doses atypical AP's are probably the most credible medical treatment for BPD (medication wise), and in conjunction with the psycho-stimulant are supposed to stop the psychostimulant possibly interfering with BPD symptoms, while it is improving the ADHD ones!

Not saying this person has ADHD, also, but honestly you WANT this to be correct. I have read authoritative literature on this, and all my experience suggests if they truly meet the criteria for BOTH, then dual treatment will produce the best outcome.

It should be noted that ADHD, has been long known to be common in BPD childhood backgrounds. ADHD may actually predispose a person to BPD, theoretically the idea would be in a traumatic, unstable, or invalidating early life / childhood environment.

There are reasonable non-stimulant options available.

Just trying to help, ADHD + BPD, one of my main interest areas smiley But if it is just BPD, well that knowledge should be a great tool, and even comfort to you!
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BPD young ones? Love, patience, support.

« Reply #55 on: November 01, 2013, 11:50:59 PM »

 In one study, 38% of participants with BPD met the criteria for a diagnosis of ADHD

That is quoted from wikipedia, here is the abstract to the study, doesn't contain sample size though sad


Well that all I can find at the moment (very, very tired).

It is an issue often overlooked.

If a person VERY well meets the ADHD diagnosis for adults (it is important to understand certain symptoms such as blatant hyperactivity are not as pronounced in adults with ADHD as children, the landscape changes somewhat in symptoms from child to adult).

In adults with both ADHD + BPD, impulsive would be expected to be especially pronounced.

Such a person would tend towards messiness and disorganization, misplacing things constantly, careless errors and rushing tasks the require "focus" (even cleaning etc), they may come across as somewhat sloppy in their efforts with doing many tasks, well there is a lot more but I am off.

Especially if a person is NOT prone to panic attacks or SEVERE anxiety, and has both disorders (and has healthy heart etc), ADHD treatment could produce profound benefits in conjunction with BPD treatment. I have directly witnessed this. However do NOT take psychostimulants if you have ever been addicted to misusing stimulants like cocaine or methamphetamine.

Indeed a person with severe ADHD (I am that), who had BPD, and has not the ADHD treated, may not focus and participate well in therapy due to their poor ability to maintain focus and interest on such things (very similar).



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« Reply #56 on: December 01, 2013, 05:25:29 PM »

Just a note re diagnosis. I myself am autistic (or have Asperger's Syndrome, depending on your preferred term). I suspect it long before I was formally diagnosed. One psychiatrist who saw me for five minutes said I couldn't have Asperger's, as he'd be able to tell - just by looking, I suppose. Years later, a therapist diagnosed me as having traits of it, though she said she thought I didn't, at first, because I read novels, and "people with Asperger's never read fiction" (big myth that). Then the year before last, at the age of 49, I saw an expert in autism at the local university. He saw me for an hour, did some obvious tests, did some covert observations (ie judging my behaviour when I didn't realise he was doing so) and said Yes, I do have Asperger's. So you see diagnosis for many conditions is very patchy, especially if they have only been recognised for a relatively short time.
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Creating a safe haven in the storm

« Reply #57 on: December 01, 2013, 10:34:46 PM »

Where did you get the information re there being over 200 different types of BPD? As far as I am aware, BPD is BPD - there are no 'types' per se (at least clinically speaking).

The idea of 200 different "types" of BPD comes from the current clinical diagnostic criteria. There are 9 different criteria, and to meet a diagnosis of BPD a person has to meet at least 5 out of the 9. It doesn't say which 5. It could also be 6, 7, 8, or all 9. When you calculate that mathematically, there are around 200 different possible combinations coming from these criteria.

I personally would not call it "types", but given the different combinations of symptoms, and also the different severity of each of the symptoms that a person can experience, it gives you an idea of just how unique each person w/BPD can be - and that does not count in the uniqueness of their non-disordered part of their personality.

On the other hand, there are certain similarities between pwBPD that are not expressed by the current DSM criteria, and that is partly the reason why the professional community is trying to rework those.

uBPD step-daughter (adult, married w/3 kids), uBPDm, NPD-traits dad
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« Reply #58 on: May 30, 2014, 09:29:05 PM »

I have been reviewing several online resources about some of the co-morbid features of BPD, including alcoholism.  What I have found is that those suffering from alcoholism per se, whether they are ACOA or not, is the striking similarity of symptoms to those discussed on this board, including some used in the DSM used to classify someone as having BPD:

Black-white thinking

Relationship difficulties, barriers to intimacy

Child-like reasoning/thinking

Low self-esteem; poor sense of self

Fear of abandonment

Hypersensitivity to criticism

There might be common impairments but an alcoholic can stop drinking and much of the impairment stops too...  unfortunately not so easy with BPD

"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
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« Reply #59 on: May 30, 2014, 10:00:48 PM »

Can anyone tell me if/what the difference is between Borderline Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Style?

I can't say that my ex has been diagnosed with BPD (no contact per his therapist)...  but I want to know if there is a difference in "symptoms" with the above and if the person is going therapy, can they truly be helped?
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