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THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PERSONALITY DISORDERS
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Author Topic: Is the use of transitional objects suggestive of BPD?  (Read 9827 times)
geroldmodel
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« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2008, 09:02:22 AM »

Thanx for the link Skip.

My ex surrounded herself with objects of loved-ones when she felt bad.

"Watch & wallet of her dear father, glasses of her dear grandfather."

Although they are not exactly like "the teddy bear" to replace the mother-bond,

I always saw them as the objects to replace the father-bond she never had

and as a way to recall possitive feelings from her childhood...

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elphaba
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« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2008, 09:59:58 AM »

Funny...the last time DB ended up in a psych ward, he called begging for someone to bring his guitar...weeping...it was his version of a security blanket...and he identifies his sense of self with it.
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JoannaK
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« Reply #12 on: June 24, 2008, 01:53:08 PM »

This brought up a memory for me:  When I was in the teacher training program, we spent three weeks each of three summers in a special summer session, far away from family.  The first year I went, my son was 5, and I was really sad about the three-week separation.  Right as I was packing to go, my son came into my room and brought me one of his teddy bears.. not his best teddy bear, but his best teddy's best "friend".  He packed it in my suitcase so that I wouldn't be lonely. 

So how does this relate to BPD?  Well, as an emotionally mature, healthy person, I didn't need a transitional object..  but my young son did need transitional objects, and he assumed that I needed one also.  So the need for transitional objects would make sense for those who are emotionally immature, with the emotional make-up of someone much younger.

(I did take that teddy out of my suitcase and put it on my bed when I made my bed every morning.  When I talked to my son on the phone, he wanted to know how the teddy was.)
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schwing
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« Reply #13 on: June 24, 2008, 02:57:06 PM »



Quote
In human childhood development, a transitional object is something, usually a physical object, which takes the place of the mother-child bond. Common examples include dolls, teddy bears or blankets.



FROM WIKI[/quote]
Gee, that puts into perspective my experience of having a security blanket when I was a toddler.  Momster likes to bring this up from time to time that I carried it with me "everywhere," even to the point that it was in tattered rags.  That blanket must have been my surrogate mother.  I now seriously wonder if she was jealous of it and may have facilitated its "retirement."  She almost certainly tried to shame me for relying on it (does to this day).

On the other hand, I don't recall my exuBPDgf ever carrying around ... wait a minute... I had forgotten about this up to this point...  she DID have some trinkets from different people.  I remember a small cabinet of gifts from previous boyfriends, and perhaps family members.  Gosh, I somewhat half-remember having some conversation of why she didn't keep my gifts there...

Something I do remember for certain, I now consider this a "flea," but after she dumped me,  I had some of her things in my possession (which, lol, included a blanket) which I didn't return when I had the opportunity.  I kept them around for some time until I finally "buried" them (think viking's funeral).  Since my exuBPDgf, I hadn't had the need to keep any mementos with other exgfs;  I've found my memories (and in some cases the ongoing rapport) quite sufficiently sentimental.  But with my exuBPDgf, I remember feeling like those things (transitional objects?) were the only things that I had left as evidence of my relationship with her, since she had no longer provided any kind of validation that was consistent with my memory. 

Thanks for the info Skip and Geroldmodel.

Schwing
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geroldmodel
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« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2008, 07:02:52 AM »

Right as I was packing to go, my son came into my room and brought me one of his teddy bears.. not his best teddy bear, but his best teddy's best "friend".  He packed it in my suitcase so that I wouldn't be lonely. 

he assumed that I needed one also...

Projection!  grin

Sweet.

Quote
Gee, that puts into perspective my experience of having a security blanket when I was a toddler.  Momster likes to bring this up from time to time that I carried it with me "everywhere," even to the point that it was in tattered rags.  That blanket must have been my surrogate mother.  I now seriously wonder if she was jealous of it and may have facilitated its "retirement."  She almost certainly tried to shame me for relying on it (does to this day).

Schwing, this sounds very NORMAL to me... how old were you when your mother "retired" your transitional object?

I still have my "transitional object" in a box on the attic somewhere... a blanket from my crib.

My mom kept it safe, when the blanket retired  smiley
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schwing
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« Reply #15 on: June 25, 2008, 01:51:30 PM »

She must have thrown it out when I was four or five.  Certainly before I attended preschool or kindergarden.  It would have embarrassed her if I was observed by teachers with it. 
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