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Author Topic: COMPARISON: Narcissistic Personality Disorder vs BPD  (Read 10469 times)
enlighten me
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Gender: Male
Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3259

« Reply #90 on: November 04, 2015, 12:54:44 AM »

Hi Lifewriter

The main differences where my exwife never really argued and bottled things up. She also played the pity card a lot and always seemed ill. My exgf would start arguments all the time and believed she was always right about everything. She also thought she was amazing at everything she did.


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Gender: Female
Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1003

« Reply #91 on: November 04, 2015, 01:01:37 AM »

Okay, enlighten me, that makes sense.

Lifewriter x

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Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 10

« Reply #92 on: May 05, 2019, 01:46:11 PM »

I believe I have significant NPD traits, though therapists have told me it is far too mild to qualify as NPD. I believe my wife has significant BPD traits, but she has never been willing to be evaluated (my intro post: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=336283.0).

So I feel I have significant personal experience with the differences, although of course it draws only from these single examples.

Some of the big differences:
  - I care about fame & public success. She only cares about not having people she knows perceive her negatively.
  - I don't mind doing things myself, I'm not triggered by how attentive she is to me at a party, whether she is there to help me in a moment of stress, etc. I'm comfortable taking care of myself. She has a deep need to feel like someone else is always available to help her.
  - While we both get bothered by people contradicting us, I care much more about being perceived/respected as an expert, whereas she cares about having her authority respected. I'd be much more bothered by "you don't know what you are talking about" from an adult, while she'd be bothered by "No, I won't do what you say" from a kid (I wouldn't care).
 - Triggered by criticism, blame.
 - Unwilling to admit being wrong, accept responsibility, apologize (if I did bad, I am bad, I am completely bad).
 - Think our own perceptions are absolute objective truth.
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