Okay... .so a couple days into no contact... .and i am struggling. I am trying to figure out why i am struggling. I think it is because he and i texted ALL DAY EVERYDAY. Now that is gone. I dont have anyone else that texts me all day every day. So i am feeling very empty without someone constantly blowing my phone up. I am like pavlovs dog.
I'm ten weeks into no contact. The first week was the hardest. I was feeling similar to you - my ex and I used to chat all the time over IM when we weren't together, and our conversations punctuated my day. In that first week the whole structure of my day seemed to collapse. It was especially hard to do any work on the computer, as I was used to talking to him online. I realised that the only way to cope with the feelings would be to break my routine with something unusual, something I'd never done with him. I decided to go on a weekend hike (he hated outdoorsy stuff) to an area we'd never visited together. Then I filled my timetable with other activities. I remembered how much I'd enjoyed calligraphy as a child and signed up for a weekly calligraphy class. I bought myself a few nice journals to encourage myself to start writing again. I contacted old friends I hadn't seen in a while to arrange to meet up. I visited the library more often. If my mood was really low, I'd just get myself out of the house and go for a walk.
I still felt as though something was missing. I still feel a dull ache from the pain. But pushing myself to do more of the things I enjoy, to make time for healthy nurturing things such as exercise, and to spend time with the people who matter to me has shown me that I can cope with that pain. I have surprised myself how well I have managed, despite being devastated. Plan what you want to do to help yourself and then go ahead and do it. Persistence is key. The shadow of your broken relationship may be very long, but if you keep walking you will eventually outwalk the shadow. You need to rediscover what you love (I think a destructive relationship almost always has a bad effect on favourite activities) and to actively push yourself to develop hobbies that have nothing to do with your ex. Reclaim yourself. I am a long way from healed, but things are better than they were and this is the best advice I can give so far.
