Hi
Cruise2serv, I'm glad you found BPD Family. It helps to talk.
You've just found out your wife has spent a lot of money and taken on a lot of debt. This is very stressful and jarring to learn.
How long have you and your wife been married? What particular behaviors of hers are causing the most distress?
She sounds like she is very impulsive with money and financially irresponsible. Is she impulsive in other ways?
Impulsivity is common in people with BPD (pwBPD). This article provides more information on BPD symptoms -
The Symptoms and Diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder No one here can diagnose your wife, of course. No one but you can decide if it's time to leave the relationship or stay.
It's hard to make such big decisions while you're still reeling from what you've learned and connecting the dots. It might help to post your story, read a few of the lessons here, and give yourself some time to process. Choosing a path for you, your wife, and your marriage is an important decision. You may find some helpful information in this short article -
Choosing a PathWhat about the marriage do you feel is working? What do you feel isn't?
Again, welcome to the boards. We're here to help.