Side effects of being with someone who suffers from BPD

[Torchwood]

I'm not on medication, I'm not having sleep issues and I'm not as sad and bummed out as I was a couple of months ago. However, I do find myself being more careful with what I say. I find myself apologizing to people because I'm worried I might have offended them and/or angered them. Slowly but surely this is beginning to stop as I feel like myself again.

It's a wonderful feeling to realize "I'm me again!"

[Colombian Chick]

I'm not on medication, I'm not having sleep issues and I'm not as sad and bummed out as I was a couple of months ago. However, I do find myself being more careful with what I say. I find myself apologizing to people because I'm worried I might have offended them and/or angered them. Slowly but surely this is beginning to stop as I feel like myself again.

I've been doing the same thing! Friends and family members even told me to stop worrying if I hurt their feelings. They laughed and said "we can take a joke, we are not 5 you know!". I said to myself WOW, I'm traumatized!

[Colombian Chick]

I also spent all my time with my ex-lover, he needed me to constantly assure that he was loved. I stayed in our home so there are lots of memories here. He was like the perfect man for me when we met (note: honeymoon stage) but as we know that changed.

My xBPDbf was the exact same way. I had to spend all of my free time with him and if I even mentioned spending time with family and friends he would flip. I also stayed in our home and I don't even go to the second floor becuase everything reminds me of him. I have been sleeping in the couch  :'(.

When we first met it was great, but I feel that after we moved in together everything changed. He was edgy and more demanding of my time. My boss even told me to stop being on the phone so much, he would call me constantly and send me texts. One time that I couldn't answer any of the texts he sent me a picture of himself crying. I was really confussed and emotionally drained by him. He needs constant reassurance and love, but there is only so much a person could give.

[jalk]

While I was with her in the relationship, especially towards the last year of our relationship, I became really depressed.  Now, that we are over, I suffer from PTSD. Hearing from her in any way, shape or form produces anxiety in me. I feel very upset and it takes a while for me to unwind.

[GCD145]

While I was with her in the relationship, especially towards the last year of our relationship, I became really depressed.  Now, that we are over, I suffer from PTSD. Hearing from her in any way, shape or form produces anxiety in me. I feel very upset and it takes a while for me to unwind.

You know, Jalk, I feel the same way. Depression and PTSD.

That's why I've made it impossible for her to contact me except through her lawyer.  Occasionally, she finds a new way to try to get in touch.  Then I block that, too.

I've told her after she's contacted me that I can't handle hearing from her, but she does it anyway, which pretty much sums up how she interacted with me.  It was always about her, and if I had needs, I was selfish.

Let her go, man, let her go.  Change your phone number already, block her emails, cut her out of your life for good and for ever.

GCD145

[PennMicheleG]

Doctors rarely get personally involved, but I am grateful that mine did just once.  One day she was fairly blunt "I can keep prescribing medication for you, but the problems will really never get resolved as long as you are in that relationship."  That was a wake-up call for me.  And I think that I had a sense of permission that allowed me to bail out with less guilt.

It's good to hear in the age of over prescribing, there are doctors out there like this.  I'm curious though - was this a family doctor or psychiatrist?  If you don't want to share that's okay, but it appears you had an open dialogue with your doc since he mentioned the relationship.  That is so important and kudos to you - more people should follow your example and be honest with their docs.  Sadly, most are embarrassed about the hit_ they are dealing with and will tell no one.

I remember by first medical appt after I left my BPD husband.  The doctor asked if I needed a refill for my Zoloft.  (I had to be switched to Zoloft after I maxed out the Prozac dosage.) I told her no - I got rid of the source of my stress. 

The PTSD issues I deal with now, fortunately, can be managed through exercise, talk with female coworkers, therapy and this website.  This is a great thread btw.  Thanks to the author!