What eventually happens to them?

[Tim300]

Imagine how they start to look when they hit their early 40's.

A lot of the comments here mention looks, and how looks might fade or not with age.  Surely, guys fall for women with looks.  However, where guys really go "all in" with time, money, attention, etc., is when a guy thinks a woman is going to bear his children.  Even if a 36-year-old BPD women is looking hot, she's simply not going to get away with some of the over-the-top BPD behavior she got away with when she was 28, for example.  I think a lot of high-caliber guys treat hot 36-year-olds as one-night stand targets, not as candidates for an engagement ring.   

[Tim300]

the disorder is better recognized and that modern life makes it increasingly difficult to hide the disorder-more awareness . . .

Thank goodness for the Internet -- I think it has literally saved lives in the fallout of BPD relationships.  It is interesting to think that info on BPD has really only become broadly publicly available recently (for example, "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" was published in 1989).  I can't imagine the confusion I would be in without all of today's resources.  Just a generation ago people must have been so much more confused about BPD behavior.

[Perfidy]

I have a hunch that what happens to them is exactly what happens to everyone else. They (we) age and die. What happens after that isn't well known. That's where religion and spirituality come in. Do any of us have a claim to lasting happiness? Do any of us not suffer?

The reward for virtue isn't realized in this lifetime other than with a happy, peaceful, loving society. Let me know how that works out. If you look around you see a lot of horrendous happenings in the world in general. Largely were taught that if we consider the world to be unsafe there is something wrong with ourselves. We're lead to believe that the world is good where there are clear instance when it isn't. I definitely see the beauty and marvel in the world. I also see that there is disease and war.

[HappyNihilist]

A lot of the comments here mention looks, and how looks might fade or not with age.  Surely, guys fall for women with looks.  However, where guys really go "all in" with time, money, attention, etc., is when a guy thinks a woman is going to bear his children.  Even if a 36-year-old BPD women is looking hot, she's simply not going to get away with some of the over-the-top BPD behavior she got away with when she was 28, for example.  I think a lot of high-caliber guys treat hot 36-year-olds as one-night stand targets, not as candidates for an engagement ring.   

Wow. You do realize that a lot of people on these boards are women, and not all of us are in our 20s, right? And that this kind of talk is very objectifying?

[CloseToFreedom]

The thing is, when I read all this stuff I'm scared this will happen to ME. It feels like I had a chance of happiness with my ex, we were together and I was planning to ask her to marry me somewhere this year, and start with kids in a few years. However, her behaviour just got worse and worse and I couldn't picture a life next to her anymore. But it still hurts.