When you went NC how did they respond?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Mine showed up at places she knew exactly I'd be. I didn't react so she hasn't showed up for a while now. I don't know what to make out of this. She doesn't have a new replacement. She lives very withdrawn from other people. So either she's able to sooth herself in some way and doesn't need other people anymore, or she will reach out again at some point, or she finally got that there's nothing left to get from me. I don't know. She's still "around", she's still in our sport's club group chat in WhatsApp although she's left the team some month ago. So I guess that's her way of still being attached to me/still being able to control me in some way. But apart from that there's no contact from her. Her still being in the group chat is the last straw that keeps me from detaching fully and I guess she knows that exactly.

[misty_red]

Mine showed up at places she knew exactly I'd be. I didn't react so she hasn't showed up for a while now. I don't know what to make out of this. She doesn't have a new replacement. She lives very withdrawn from other people. So either she's able to sooth herself in some way and doesn't need other people anymore, or she will reach out again at some point, or she finally got that there's nothing left to get from me. I don't know. She's still "around", she's still in our sport's club group chat in WhatsApp although she's left the team some month ago. So I guess that's her way of still being attached to me/still being able to control me in some way. But apart from that there's no contact from her. Her still being in the group chat is the last straw that keeps me from detaching fully and I guess she knows that exactly.

[anxiety5]

Mine showed up at places she knew exactly I'd be. I didn't react so she hasn't showed up for a while now. I don't know what to make out of this. She doesn't have a new replacement. She lives very withdrawn from other people. So either she's able to sooth herself in some way and doesn't need other people anymore, or she will reach out again at some point, or she finally got that there's nothing left to get from me. I don't know. She's still "around", she's still in our sport's club group chat in WhatsApp although she's left the team some month ago. So I guess that's her way of still being attached to me/still being able to control me in some way. But apart from that there's no contact from her. Her still being in the group chat is the last straw that keeps me from detaching fully and I guess she knows that exactly.

My ex had a child. Does yours? That's like the perfect supply source to fill her up. When she's with him, nobody else and nothing else exists. I also think the fact my ex went from a divorce into another relationship with me (both failed the same way) She is running the risk of exposure or self destruction if another fails. I think outwardly my ex will appear to be single for some time. But her thirst for attention and inability to self sooth I just know from what I've experienced there is no chance she can be alone on her off days from being a mom. Perhaps your ex like mine, may seek casual relationships or a friends with benefits situation with some person we aren't even aware of vs. a full time replacement. I think my ex would prefer that. She can't handle the introductions to family/friends/coworkers with another person and run the risk of having it fail. Easier to just keep someone on the side who means nothing but an objectified purpose.

[Deeno02]

Mine showed up at places she knew exactly I'd be. I didn't react so she hasn't showed up for a while now. I don't know what to make out of this. She doesn't have a new replacement. She lives very withdrawn from other people. So either she's able to sooth herself in some way and doesn't need other people anymore, or she will reach out again at some point, or she finally got that there's nothing left to get from me. I don't know. She's still "around", she's still in our sport's club group chat in WhatsApp although she's left the team some month ago. So I guess that's her way of still being attached to me/still being able to control me in some way. But apart from that there's no contact from her. Her still being in the group chat is the last straw that keeps me from detaching fully and I guess she knows that exactly.

My ex had a child. Does yours? That's like the perfect supply source to fill her up. When she's with him, nobody else and nothing else exists. I also think the fact my ex went from a divorce into another relationship with me (both failed the same way) She is running the risk of exposure or self destruction if another fails. I think outwardly my ex will appear to be single for some time. But her thirst for attention and inability to self sooth I just know from what I've experienced there is no chance she can be alone on her off days from being a mom. Perhaps your ex like mine, may seek casual relationships or a friends with benefits situation with some person we aren't even aware of vs. a full time replacement. I think my ex would prefer that. She can't handle the introductions to family/friends/coworkers with another person and run the risk of having it fail. Easier to just keep someone on the side who means nothing but an objectified purpose.

Same, She was separated when we met and divorced 6 months later. 16 Month relationship. Single mother of 5. Played that to the hilt. Id watch people fawn all over her as supermom. Long story short, when I was no longer needed she jumped into a new r/s a week after dumping me. Seemed to have no problem with introductions to friends and family. Its like"POOF" Deeno's gone, but heres this new guy who will make it all better. Going on 6 months now. She should be starting to see some of the cray cray coming out now. Thus far, her eldest son has quit playing VB and has moved in with his dad to avoid her crazyness. Yep, karma.

[dobie]

Not an ounce of f**k does she give ... .

The r/s was over in her mind long before she pulled the trigger , as she has zero empathy or sense of guilt for how I feel and is surround by selfish enablers who justify and encourage  or the damage she has caused and most likely has a new supply I expect never to hear from her again . she was just biding time making sure she was in a strong position first .


She told me she is "sick of carrying me" (projection) we have lost the intimacy (no it morphed after 6 years) and she does not respect me (hardest blow)

[misty_red]

Mine showed up at places she knew exactly I'd be. I didn't react so she hasn't showed up for a while now. I don't know what to make out of this. She doesn't have a new replacement. She lives very withdrawn from other people. So either she's able to sooth herself in some way and doesn't need other people anymore, or she will reach out again at some point, or she finally got that there's nothing left to get from me. I don't know. She's still "around", she's still in our sport's club group chat in WhatsApp although she's left the team some month ago. So I guess that's her way of still being attached to me/still being able to control me in some way. But apart from that there's no contact from her. Her still being in the group chat is the last straw that keeps me from detaching fully and I guess she knows that exactly.

My ex had a child. Does yours? That's like the perfect supply source to fill her up. When she's with him, nobody else and nothing else exists. I also think the fact my ex went from a divorce into another relationship with me (both failed the same way) She is running the risk of exposure or self destruction if another fails. I think outwardly my ex will appear to be single for some time. But her thirst for attention and inability to self sooth I just know from what I've experienced there is no chance she can be alone on her off days from being a mom. Perhaps your ex like mine, may seek casual relationships or a friends with benefits situation with some person we aren't even aware of vs. a full time replacement. I think my ex would prefer that. She can't handle the introductions to family/friends/coworkers with another person and run the risk of having it fail. Easier to just keep someone on the side who means nothing but an objectified purpose.

No, mine doesn't have a child. And there are also no friends left. She discarded all of them. She's also not the type to make new friends, even shallow ones. She really is just very, very withdrawn from everyone. The only people around her left were the ones in our sport's team but after she left the team there is no one. Her family lives one and a half hour away. There are only her colleagues but she hates them. So yeah. I don't know. Weird hermit-witch mixture I guess.

[hurting300]

Mine always discarded first. So it's control with her. How do I know? Because one of living exes said she disappeared on him too.

[hope2727]

Not an ounce of f**k does she give ... .

The r/s was over in her mind long before she pulled the trigger , as she has zero empathy or sense of guilt for how I feel and is surround by selfish enablers who justify and encourage  or the damage she has caused and most likely has a new supply I expect never to hear from her again . she was just biding time making sure she was in a strong position first .


She told me she is "sick of carrying me" (projection) we have lost the intimacy (no it morphed after 6 years) and she does not respect me (hardest blow)

if the pronoun was he instead of she I would think you were talking about my ex. Sorry you endured all this.