What's the most messed up thing they ever said/did?

[Depression = 72% of members]

There are so many but the one that stands out is... .As a teenager, I had placed a baby for adoption. Its not something I super proud of but I'm not ashamed. I know I did the right thng at the time. I told my ex and he spent the next year, screaming that I give my own children away. I think those statements hurt the worse

[finallyhappy]

There are so many but the one that stands out is... .As a teenager, I had placed a baby for adoption. Its not something I super proud of but I'm not ashamed. I know I did the right thng at the time. I told my ex and he spent the next year, screaming that I give my own children away. I think those statements hurt the worse

[KeepingPeace]

Hmm... .let's see... .shortly after trying to seduce my mother (and blaming it on me, because I had been sick the night before and too tired to "fill his needs" he got all paranoid (including thinking I was giving hand signals to a hidden camera) got into a "head-banging" habit that was not related to music:P and then went psycho and beat the crap out of me for trying to take my daughter out when he was scaring us... .  Yeah, I picked a real winner thereXD   And I have the scars to remind me every day:P

[Fish]

Here's one of the many that come to mind.

upbdw told the oldest of our four sons that I was having sex with the older of my two sisters. This was on the ocassion of me traveling to the funeral of the younger sister who had fallen ill suddenly and had passed away.

Just an example what she has done to all four of the kids' minds and souls... .

[matt82]

Probably calling the police on me for abandoning our kids at home... .the only problem was that I left the house before she did. She tried to explain why I should be arrested, but to no avail. When the police left, she looked at my 5-year-old daughter and said, "This is all your fault!"

[diotima]

This is all mind-boggling! The lists are unbelievable to someone who doesn't know about BPD.

I guess the worst (for me) was when my ex decided not to come to be with me when my mother was dying (he was usually pretty good about family things) and then later (when he was with new gf) said he thought I had done the right thing during this period. In other words, it was not he who cheated on me while I was attending to my mother, it was me who abandoned him and he found another gf to mirror. I hope that makes sense.

Diotima

[Sir5r]

The worst thing my BPDw ever said to me was after a year of no sex at all, I brought the subject up. Here's what she said while looking me straight in the eye.

"I will no longer be 'servicing' you."

And them she just walked away.

23 years of marriage, it hit me to the core.

Sir5r

[ve01603]

There are so many but the one that stands out is... .As a teenager, I had placed a baby for adoption. Its not something I super proud of but I'm not ashamed. I know I did the right thng at the time. I told my ex and he spent the next year, screaming that I give my own children away. I think those statements hurt the worse

I know.  It is like you can't tell them anything because they use it against you.  I was always an open book but near the end, I had learned to be very careful about what I told him.  I couldn't talk about work or anything because during I didn't know what he might say to who.

[Sir5r]

They use things against us but we never get to know the really insane things about them.  Really makes you know how calculating they really are.

[Clearmind]

There are so many but the one that stands out is... .As a teenager, I had placed a baby for adoption. Its not something I super proud of but I'm not ashamed. I know I did the right thng at the time. I told my ex and he spent the next year, screaming that I give my own children away. I think those statements hurt the worse

I know.  It is like you can't tell them anything because they use it against you.  I was always an open book but near the end, I had learned to be very careful about what I told him.  I couldn't talk about work or anything because during I didn't know what he might say to who.

OMG Finallyhappy! That sent shivers up my spine - what an a$$. I got much of the same except I had terminated because we had only been together for 2 months. In the break up chat he congratulated me for chosing him over the child... .

Sir, I was asked very personal questions at the beginning of the r/s with BPD - and they came back to haunt me.

[beyondbelief]

Went to bed a hero, woke up a zero.  She raged for an hour about how evil I was.  I asked what I could have possibly done while asleep.  Her only answer “You know what you did”.  After weeks of silent treatment she admitted she had DREAMED I had done something.  She then said she was in touch with reality because she knew it was a dream FROM DAY ONE.  

She never told me what the dream was about or apologized.

[Alliwantispeace]

It's uncanny how they can all hit us right where it hurts. My uBPh when raging will say and do almost anything including:

- telling D14 that she doesn't derserve to live in "his" home and she should get out (she did absolutely nothing to deserve this btw)

- told me he wishes I would just die

- told me that I probably am trying to get rid of him because my x has a bigger you-know-what

- constantly tells me I'm broken (this used to hurt the most but, it doesn't)

- pinched me really hard while pregnant while I was trying to go to sleep, can't seem to get over this even though it was 4 years ago.

I could go on and on but, I would have to re-read my journal as I try and block the really bad stuff out.

[Willy]

It is like you can't tell them anything because they use it against you.

And thats why you feel so betrayed. In a passive aggresive way this can also be done. After forgetting my birthday she promised to buy me a present. She told me which present she was going to buy. I told her before I wanted that for a long time, so I was really looking forward to it. A long time nothing, then a $1 bag with candies was given as a present. I think emotional abuse is a strong word, but this could be emotional abuse.

[Beach_Babe]

Oh god, there are so many... .how could I possibly choose?

The most f***ed up thing she ever said/did? In a nutshell, I think that would simply be existing.

[Reecer1588]

i wanted to toss this gem in here.

5 days into NC back in january... .Seperate from this permanent NC (2 months in)

She sent porno of myself to my mother. From a 3rd party telephone number.

My mom was going into a lung cancer screening that day and her lifelong friend had recently died

My ex knew my mom was having health issues as well

[raisins3142]

Most ominous thing ever said "I don't expect us to last because none of my relationships do, and if things are going too well between us I'll just find a way to sabotage it."

I asked "how would you sabotage it?"

She said "I just will."

[Loosestrife]

Lots of horrible things have been said to me,  but by far the worst was when we went on holiday abroad and My BpD partner beaten up abandoned in a foreign country.

[dobie]

A few weeks after my sick disabled father got out of intensive care (30% chance of survival )

"Crying I know it selfish but I hope he does not get I'll and ruin our holiday "

Few months before the BU

" Annoyed voice : yes I know I'm probably going to have to put up with u quitting your job if your dad dies "

"I'd love to have a one night stand at a music festival  "

" if I was single I probably would have slept with one of those strippers "

" after making a pathetic attempt in front of me to cut her wrists and take an OD "

Just let me go just let me go (like I was her jailer )


Three weeks before the BU

I would kill myself if anything happened to you !

After the BU laughing I was just being dramatic

[Infared]

Wow. That's pretty messed up. It's amazing how the same people who can so quickly make a mountain out of a molehill can just as easily make molehills out of mountains. If it ain't about them, it's no bid deal, no matter how big a deal it is.

That is soo true... .what if the situation had been reversed And she had witnessed 9/11... .?   Bet it would be a little different!  

With mine,  the one thing that really sticks in my mind is what she said about 6 months in... .unsolicited and unprovoked she said: "I promise you I will never hurt you, infared."... it was said with such touching sincerity... it really, really sucked me in.   No one had ever said/done anything like that with me in a relationship before. It soo endeared her to me.  Now I look at THAT as the sickest thing that anyone every said to me... .(fast forward 4.5 years), as I never have had some treat me so cruelly and vindictively in my entire life. Cheating on me, lying about it, running out of our home with a bag of clothes and then every chance she and new supply got they were acting out in front of me in public to cause me emotional harm like 7th-graders. Who does crap like that in their mid-30's?  

I'm still dumbfounded.

[scraps66]

"I am not in denial."

[TheBPDSurvivor]

The uBPDgf is the only child and daughter of my father's best friend. On her father's request, she called me to ask a doubt about computer and we ended up talking for whole night till 7 AM next morning. Proposed me within 2 days and after 10 days, we had our first date in her home. She also forced me to making out on the first day we met. Her birthday was just a week ahead from our first date. The day before her birthday, I stayed in her home until 1AM. She was cuddling me and talking romantic stuffs for the whole night. She never called/texted on the next day which was her birthday. I called her at 9:30PM(her number was busy for like an hour but I kept trying) and asked why she hadn't called me as I missed her so badly since it's her birthday. She said she will talk later and I received a text message after 10 mins and it read

I'm seeing you only as my brother.

My heart and brain teared apart after reading that message.

[Heldfast]

I don't love you, I never loved you, the last two and a half years were a lie.

Please believe me that I'm leaving because I love you, this is me loving you as best as I can.

[Bumpsintheroad]

What my exBPD wife SAID... .

"People are mean.  All they ever want to do is hurt you!"

What my exBPD wife DID for 2 years previous to this earth shattering statement... .

Abused, used, manipulated, slept with, lied or stole from anyone she got her hooks into.

 Happy Easter or whatever holiday you may be observing today.  I hope you all find a deserving treasure of love, support and happiness from this day forward.  

[JPH]

Ex-BPD (upon being confronted by me for cheating and during breakup): (1) "I wanted you to fight for me!" and in the same conversation (2) "But I don't want to lose you!"

Ex-NPD: "What difference does it make how happy you are as long as we're together?"

[JRT]

"I love you forever"

[Spartacus]

Most of the really messed up stuff was subtle and psychologically damaging rather than shouting and name calling. One example towards the end of the relationship was her repeatedly singing a tune which had been used at a friend of mine's funeral just as the coffin was being cremated a few days before. Weird, creepy and cruel. Within a week of telling me she was pregnant she texted me to say that the relationship was unsustainable and she was looking at joining single parent forums online? The top thing was probably her complaining to me what a disappointment my proposal to her was, although it wasn't at the time, also her wailing and rocking on the floor of the bathroom on the night of our wedding (feels strange typing that, nobody was allowed to call it a wedding) saying how scared she was that I would turn into a monster, that it was all a mistake and how everyone had had such a terrible time because the speeches had overrun (everyone had a fantastic time even her!).

"We are one now, our consciences are now one and the same."?

Other messed up stuff was all about painting herself as a victim or creating chaos.

[Plonko]

My ex once during a phone argument screamed (literally) down the phone at me that she was going to cut her wrists and make me listen to her bleeding to death and that there would be nothing I could do about it because I didn't know where she was. It took me about 1/2 an  hour to calm her down on the phone.

I think that was quite f'ed up. :/

[Suzn]

This is a worthwhile topic however it has reached the post limit. Feel free to start a new thread.