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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: What a heartless...  (Read 887 times)
Butterfly03
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« Reply #30 on: February 23, 2010, 09:44:59 AM »

thats right Tony

NO MORE CONTACT is right! This stuff really is mind rattling... .I dont think my ex liked it how I worked him out... .his lovely response was trying to turn it round onto me trying to make out I was the bad person but we both know better... .I know as a fact that he is not happy with his new girl already he was texting me asking to come back while he was with her... .he was devising his escape route with me but I wasnt going to let him back after all the hurt... .he said to me a couple of days ago " I am going to wait till your better (talking bout my recovery from depression) I will just hang out with Vanessa - the new girl and when your ready I will just tell her I am too busy to see her anymore" so he expected to hold onto me on the side and see Vanessa (but decieve her about me) i have seen him already lie to her - which would of hurt me like you wouldnt believe then once I was right he would of ditched her for me! It just doesnt work that way and it just proves that he has no respect for anyone and looks at people as objects - what a sick man
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TonyC
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« Reply #31 on: February 23, 2010, 09:53:23 AM »

sure set vanessa up for a fall... .promise her the moon... and then ditch her... .for you... .

classic... BPD manuever... .

cept he wasnt plannin on you pullin up the drawbridge... .

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Butterfly03
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« Reply #32 on: February 23, 2010, 10:09:22 AM »

Hey Tony I love your posts!

No he wasnt expecting me to pull up the drawbridge at all... .I think my exBPDbf had anticipated me around for the rest of his life in one form or another what I did today was totally out of the blue to him he wasnt expecting it at all he thought I was going to be stupid enough to loan him the money and hand round on the side while he had his fun with Vanessa and come back to me when I was right... .there was NO WAY I was going to accept that crap I am better than... .the messages he would send me while he was Vanessa were unbelievable... .he would ask me all time are you ok? what kinda answer would he expect... ."yeh im fine hun i think its great youve got a girl to screw around with while im getting over my depression that you caused"  . i mentioned in my letter to him that love is action not words it is so easy to say you love some one the actions that he has been doing of late is not of someone that genuinely loves me... .dont think it went down to good oh well hit_ happens... .
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Butterfly03
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« Reply #33 on: February 23, 2010, 11:03:23 PM »

So this is what it feels like to not have a BPD in your life! How clear is my head today... .I'm feeling good and free  Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post)


Butterfly
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Jbird
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« Reply #34 on: February 23, 2010, 11:40:52 PM »

YIPPPPEEEEEEE!  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)  I am doing a little happy dance with you glad you are feeling good 
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Metta
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« Reply #35 on: February 24, 2010, 07:54:54 AM »

Here is my recipe that I used.  Take one dining room chair, put it in the center of the room, put a very large cushion on it. Take one large bat/rolling pin/racket, ensure you are alone with all windows closed.  Then beat the cr*p out of the cushion and shout and scream as if its your ex.  Its absolutely fantastic especially if you find yourself in a crumpled heap sobbing.  Get it out and get relief.

Love. This. Recipe.

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Metta
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« Reply #36 on: February 24, 2010, 07:59:29 AM »

i mentioned in my letter to him that love is action not words it is so easy to say you love some one the actions that he has been doing of late is not of someone that genuinely loves me... .dont think it went down to good oh well hit_ happens... .

Amen. I once wrote the same thing to my exBPDbf when he tried to come slinking back. Very important realization on your part.

Best wishes to you! I can relate to so many of your posts here lately. Thanks for sharing your experience.
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Want2know
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« Reply #37 on: February 24, 2010, 08:08:57 AM »

So this is what it feels like to not have a BPD in your life! How clear is my head today... .I'm feeling good and free  Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post)

Butterfly

Hearing this just made my heart free up some pain for my situation... .I see this day for me coming, and seeing you have this moment is inspirational.  Thanks!
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