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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Anyone every contemplate warning the BPD's next victim?  (Read 7810 times)
atwittsend
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« Reply #60 on: March 02, 2010, 04:10:39 PM »

we will be regarded as jealous bitter exes if we do this.  not to mention countless people saw through my ex and I didnt care nor take any of their advice. 
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goldenblunder
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Living apart, working on the divorce
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« Reply #61 on: March 02, 2010, 04:23:14 PM »

A good friend of mine knew my wife for quite a while before I met her.  They sort of dated, I think.  (More like she probably got him to buy her stuff.)  Anyway, we met through him.  Just before we got married, I got an email from him that asked me if I was sure about what I was doing.  I responded yes, but followed up and asked if there was something specific that I should know.  His reply was, "no".

I wish he had been a little more forthcoming.  I'm not sure exactly what he had to say, and I doubt it would have changed anything, but I wish he had filled me in a little better.
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atwittsend
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« Reply #62 on: March 02, 2010, 04:36:09 PM »

my guess... .fear, obligation, guilt... .
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goldenblunder
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Relationship status: Living apart, working on the divorce
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« Reply #63 on: March 02, 2010, 04:55:41 PM »

I just went back and re-read that warning email from my friend.  He asks if I am sure about getting married THREE TIMES.  LOL.
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atwittsend
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« Reply #64 on: March 02, 2010, 04:57:29 PM »

that is hilarious.  funny how we miss those things right?  is he still your friend... .perhaps it would help to ask what his concerns were at the time?  it seems like a step back words into rumination station but it might be an interesting exercise. 
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goldenblunder
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Living apart, working on the divorce
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« Reply #65 on: March 02, 2010, 04:58:47 PM »

Yes, I am.  I will have to ask him.
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C12P21
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« Reply #66 on: March 06, 2010, 04:33:25 PM »

My exNPDbf folks talked to me the other day and said "We tried to warn you he was a narcissist". I can not remember them doing so but did remember their discussion of his wife. Apparently she flew into rages and also began to withdraw from them. She stopped talking to them. I wonder if they were trying to tell me what happens as a result of being in a relationship with him.
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