how do people with BPD act when they drink?

[unknown]

im guessing very very emotional?

[moving1]

My ex could become very emotional after drinking, just burst into tears for no reason. It also made her very sexual. Sometimes when we were out she would tell me what she wanted to do to me when we got home. ?

[duncanville1]

Mine would relax, it was a escape from the endless thought's and emotion she couldn't turn off.

[T2H]

Yes.  It makes things worse.

Btw, just curious if you're writing a book or something with all these questions you've been posting... .

If you're leaving, why are you continuing to focus on general BPD aspects?  (and rarely post again in a thread you started?)

[seeking balance]

Mine reacted depending upon the environment.  If we were at home and having a glass of wine with dinner, she would relax - she said it slowed down her head.  If she was stressed from work, she would drink a few and fall asleep.

If out - a whole different person showed up.  She needed to be center of attention and turned into the environment.  If it was a bigger party it likely ended with her unable to even walk out the door.  She would become angry if I asked her to slow down the drinking.  Drinking became a huge source of our problems - I even went to alanon for a while. 

The day after was always very bluesy, sad, depressed - followed with her saying "I really shouldn't drink like that"

[ron7127]

MAny BPD's have drinking problems. AA is full of personality disordered folks, IMO.

My XW would just say and do stupid , embarrassing things when drinking. She would flirt with men and make a fool of herself. She would have affairs while drinking. She was obnoxious and cruel to me and the kids when drinking.

[brownowl90]

Def a binge drinker but as a lot of our time together she was pregnant or a new mother I didn't see it often! But when she drunk it was to get smashed and she then wanted to be the centre of attention showing how crazy and wild she was, often ending up with her doing something to impress everyone!

[OverBoard]

Fueled, hostile, angry, raging, accusing, embarassing, flirting with men, touching them, kissing them, told me I reminded her of everyone that ever did anything wrong to her... .chaos, violence,... you name it. Think it triggered her BPD and Bi Polar for the worse. Nightmare. Living hell.

[fogbound]

She would rarely drink, maybe a glass of wine at dinner from time to time. It would cause her to get silly and giggle. It seemed like it was the only time she loosened up. I wanted to pour it down her by the gallon.

[confused101]

Mine drank too much although she flattly denied this, often insisting that she didn't drink at all. Despite her dynamic view of herself the truth was she spent most evenings in drinking a whole bottle of wine to herself. It seemed to allow her to cope with the obvious pain.

They don't seem to be able to cope with the pain from their past particularly so whenever she drank she would become very emotional. Strangely it was almost as if she was briefly rational for a moment and you'd get to see the amount of pain and self-loathing she was in. Horrible really, they can't ever come to terms with their own feelings let alone how they treat others but it's all swirling around in there just beneath the surface.

[bigcasino]

I have a very good story about my wife drinking.  I saw her drink a few times but never more than 1 or 2 glasses untill one night.  We were fighting about something stupid I dont remember what but I went I the bedroom to watch TV and she was in the other room talking to her sister on the phone 1 or 2 hrs later I had fallen asleep and when I woke up she was standing over me it was kind of creapy but inj her defence the phone charger was right there so I looked up at her and said "What" and then she started crying.  I held her for a few min. and told her it was ok I didnt want to fight anymore and after a few she hit me and walked out of the room into the guest room.  I followed her in there and I could see a box of wine on the dresser she layed down on the bed crying I ask her how much she drank and she said maybe 8 glasses.  Then I realized she was smashed so I was worried about her and I sat and talked for a while why she cried then she would get mad and rage and tell me how bad I am and all the bad things I did then she would cry and tell me how much she cared about me and how good I am then back to raging this went on all night she would try to drink more and I would stop her it was the crazyiest thing I have ever seen.  I think that I was getting to see what her world is like and man was it crazy I could not live like that.  at about 7am I went back to bed to try to get some sleep and about 5 mins later she came in and told me how much she loved me but that it hurt ttoo much to tell me then she said let make love let make love for 1 hr. and she jumped on me.  we then had the most incredable pashion sex ever it was wild I have never had anything like that she was a mad woman and broght out the animal in me too.  we then fell asleep and when we woke up she claimed that she didnt remember any of the night before.  that night was the most crazy night I have ever had in a lot of way.  the way her mood was shifting back and forth like every 5 mins and then the sex I think that she did remember but could not face up to the things that she had done or said and so she just acted like she didnt remember.  if this is what BPD have to go thru on a daily I feel very sorry for them I am glad I gort to see her world but I would not want to stay thwere very long.

[ve01603]

Mine was a raging alcoholic.  Could drink a fifth and become violent and black out. 

You would wait for him to pass out but he would just gain momentum.  I think it was the bipolar.

[strongbutwobbly]

my BPDh wouldnt touch drink as he said he knoew he would easily become an alcoholic as he felt he has an addictive personality... .!

[nonbpdnyc]

When mine drank too much, towards the end, I could see the real person in her. It was the sheen of lies and deceit was peeled back.

She would openly be mean, dismissive, disrespectful. You would see her sort of smirk, like planning her next move to _____ up my life.

It was horrifying... .

[runninggal81]

Well, my ex did not drink. I would have maybe a glass of wine out with friends twice a month... .and I'd have hell to pay. Not sure if it was drinking, or not telling him about it, or the friends I was out with. Don't care at this point.

His drug of choice was Adderall. He was a pain in the ass on it. When he was so hopped up on it and couldn't sleep, he'd take a Klonopin/Ambien/Tylenol PM cocktail. I only know of this happening a few times towards the end of the relationship, so it wasn't something I knew about and had ample opportunity to call him out on.

[Bubblegum]

violent anger.

[goldstar]

The last one to leave a party -- couldn't stop drinking. We were the last ones to walk out of a restaurant-type place (where his company Christmas party was held). They literally locked the door behind us. This happened both years -- it was a Magic Island type place, so it stayed open late. It was embarrassing. Would get angry if I didn't want to have "fun" with him. I really dreaded those type of functions.

At home, he got to the point where it was a 12-pack every night, either in secret (you could find the cans in the dumpster by our alley) or not. Raging, violent, mean, lazy, critical, scary, that's how he became.

First, he realized he couldn't drink liquor -- it made him crazy (violent and getting in fights). Then it was he couldn't drink wine -- it made him crazy. So he would drink beer and never admit that he would get crazy. He just said he liked the taste and he wasn't stopping.

He didn't stop until one crazy night where he threatened me and was holed up in a hotel room with a bunch of booze and a load gun. He went to AA, but was a miracle (that he accused me of not waiting around for). He flew through the 12 steps in record time, because he's so fantastic, even though I never got that apology... .

He was told he was an inspiration.

Don't know if he's drinking again, the kids say "no" that he just drinks O':)ouls, because he likes the taste (he told my son that.)

[rfking]

Flirtatious, horny, talkative.  I can imagine what happened when she went out of town on a trip and was drinking, getting hit on and loving all the admiration from the men. 

I can remember how many times I heard "I'm never drinking again". Whatever.

[RealEyes]

When mine drank too much, towards the end, I could see the real person in her. It was the sheen of lies and deceit was peeled back.

She would openly be mean, dismissive, disrespectful. You would see her sort of smirk, like planning her next move to  up my life.

It was horrifying... .

Thats the look i saw my now 25D with uBPD would do around me before i asked her to move out.

The X, he said he was drunk, couldn't drive after Bartending, wanted me to come by "NOW!", etc... .If (not when he demanded it like a child, yeeesh!) and when i'd get there,, he never really appear drunk, just light on his feet and chipper until he'd get sleepy, he'd get cranky and wake up as if he had a bad hangover, sleep for hours after a normal 8 hour rest. He was cute but also boring to a point since i'd want to go hiking or and camping after have morning sex, not sleep more?

[mindful]

Originally I thought the BPD was a drinking problem.  Many times she would dissociate--- get vicious, and rage.  One time when I tried to create distance by going into my office she stalked me and was banging on the door---  threatened to call the sheriff.  I asked why?  "Because this is my house !" Huh?  I don't want you to rage at me and you want to call the sheriff?    She didn't want me to leave.  She just thought I couldn't be controlled so you call the sheriff? 

All the bad stuff happened after drinking.  I believe she drank to modulate her emotions.  But when her eyes got that different look---  that was the cue to watch out.  One of the last things she said to me face to face was... . "You will never get use to the alcohol thing"  She use to say that because my dad drank I was over sensitive to alcohol.  She said she use to perform experiments and would drink before I would come home and see if I would notice.  And then tell me because I wouldn't say anything that drinking must not be a problem.  [Remember Monty Python's "Holy Grail"  Where they are applying medieval justice to the woman accused of being a witch---  "If she weighs as much as a duck, she is made of wood, and therefore ... ."  I am witch!   Why does that come to mine?]   She would split me and paint me the dark side of the moon when she would drink.  When she cheated on me--- it was a 4th weekend... . after a night of drinking... . and then came the proclamation,

"It was meant to be"

I think the drinking behaviors made it harder.  I could think... .if she just stopped drinking everything would be OK.  She drank nearly everyday.  I would drink along side her up to 2 glasses of wine--- and then she would many times steam ahead.

After breaking up---  I discovered that when people drink they diminish their capacity to be compassionate.  When I dove into mindful meditation I realized that you don't feel spiritual warmth as deeply--- and I don't mean just after over indulging.  I drink on rare occasions now.  

An alcoholic BPD is a 5 alarm fire for me.

[Benny]

Highly flirtatious,sexual,opinionated and talked in riddles.

[T2H]

Like The Sphinx?

[ve01603]

An alcoholic BPD is a 5 alarm fire for me.     

You are so right.

[ve01603]

Highly flirtatious,sexual,opinionated and talked in riddles.

Unfortuneatly was a cerebral nonsexual so I missed the flirtatious, sexual part.

[Benny]

I got the flirtatious,sexual part but the problem was so did a number of other men at the same time as me but of course she didnt see it that as a problem.

[ve01603]

I got the flirtatious,sexual part but the problem was so did a number of other men at the same time as me but of course she didnt see it that as a problem.

Exactly, I was going to add that if there was any flirting going on, it would have been reserved for a stranger.  I started to feel like I wasn't even a woman anymore.  He tried so hard to demean me and take away my sexuality. 

Need to make up for lost time if I ever find the time.

[Blythe1976]

Mine turned into a monster with no id control (not that he had much of that anyway). He would storm into the house at 5 or 6 or 7am, drunk, angry, slurring, slamming doors, demanding sex, raging when I refused... .a nightmare. Alcohol basically took his Mr. Hyde side and exacerbated it tenfold.

[downinahole]

It all depended on who she was around while she was drinking.  If it was around my family or friends of mine, she was highly flirtatious and sexual with me.  If we were around her friends, she was highly flirtatious with other men, and like Benny's BPDx, she did not see that as a problem... .and if I made any comments to her, I was a jealous a-hole.

[Runningasfastasican]

alternating, flirtatious, childish, sexual, angry, raging, combative, self harming, depressive... .all in the same night... .she would drink herself into a senseless, helpless state... .I could not stand it... .

[Devin78]

My ex would get horny after drinking or smoking pot. First time she cheated she blamed the booze the second time she blamed the pot then said there was something in the pot that made her comatose and claimed rape. That was 3 weeks after I filed for divorce. She realized that it was all her fault so she spread it around that I left her because she was raped by a black man. Labeling me a racist in the process.