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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Quotes from the pwBPD in my life  (Read 5006 times)
hangingbyathread

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« Reply #60 on: February 21, 2011, 07:13:10 PM »
Quote from: shtks on February 21, 2011, 05:21:07 AM
A quote from BPDex


"I don't know where this is coming from. I'm not a nasty person. This is me attacking you and I can see that. I do love you and sorry for being horrible to you. On reflection I can see that you are creating a monster in me and I am sorry."


Are you sure my ex BPDH isn't the one who said that? That is almost word for word he would act like what he knew he was doing was wrong but still it was my fault for said wrong doing... .
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gea1911a1
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« Reply #61 on: February 21, 2011, 08:51:31 PM »
Another classisc is "Can I ask you one simple question?"  And then the simple question is "Why don't you love me anymore?"  "Why do you and the kids hate me?" etc etc
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OTH
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« Reply #62 on: February 21, 2011, 09:01:22 PM »
"I don't know where this is coming from. I'm not a nasty person. This is me attacking you and I can see that. I do love you and sorry for being horrible to you. On reflection I can see that you are creating a monster in me and I am sorry."

They are showing a big degree of self awareness here. When they say you are creating a monster in me... .They are not lying. Intimacy triggers their worst symptoms. You are indeed causing them to act out. 

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Mary Oliver:  Someone I loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift

NonBPDLookingForAnswers
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« Reply #63 on: February 22, 2011, 02:37:47 AM »
Why do you always argue with me?

Why do you always create chaos?

You're the first girlfriend I've felt completely comfortable with ... .like I can be myself and not be afraid.

You don't love me like I love you.

(in the early stages of the relationship) You'll leave me one day, I know it.

You just dont get it... .you don't get me... .my girlfriend needs to understand me 100 percent of the time, otherwise were not right for each other.

I need to be with someone more soft-spoken and sensitive, you're too aggressive for me.
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NonBPDLookingForAnswers
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« Reply #64 on: February 22, 2011, 02:38:53 AM »
::gag me:: yickkkkk!
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Very_hard_times
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« Reply #65 on: February 22, 2011, 03:20:46 AM »
Quote from: OhTheHorror on February 21, 2011, 07:08:34 PM
I need to be start being selfish and focus on me (LOL... .Our world revolved 100 percent around her needs and her mood swings)

They are the world. They don't need to start being selfish. They already ARE.

Quote from: OhTheHorror on February 21, 2011, 07:08:34 PM
She once told me "why do you have to be so good?" Anybody ever get that one?

Oh yes, regularly. I am too nice ... .I prefer being too nice than too cruel... .
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Myheadisspinning
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« Reply #66 on: February 22, 2011, 05:53:08 AM »
"how much do you love me on a scale of 1 to 1.7?"

"do you miss me?"

"you cast a spell on me"

"I want you in my life forever"

"the only way we will part is if you leave me"

"am I in trouble?"

"is that a bad thing?"

"accept me warts and all"

"the best part about kids is making them"

" Sorry, I want to be alone, sorry"

"I'm gonna be all over you like a cheap suit"

"I love you"
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DC Daniel
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« Reply #67 on: February 22, 2011, 08:11:04 AM »
Quote from: NonBPDLookingForAnswers on February 22, 2011, 02:37:47 AM
Why do you always argue with me?

Why do you always create chaos?

You're the first girlfriend I've felt completely comfortable with ... .like I can be myself and not be afraid.

You don't love me like I love you.

(in the early stages of the relationship) You'll leave me one day, I know it.

You just dont get it... .you don't get me... .my girlfriend needs to understand me 100 percent of the time, otherwise were not right for each other.

I need to be with someone more soft-spoken and sensitive, you're too aggressive for me.

Woah! Exact... Word for word... "You just don't get me"... Heard that many times, but it stung the worst when I would do something nice like buy her a gift that she "hated" because I "didn't get her" or "understand" exactly what she wanted.
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louiseann17
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« Reply #68 on: February 22, 2011, 11:10:03 AM »
Woah... .Similar kind of thing to me... my ex used to say ' Your the only one who gets me'... .Once before i found out he may have BPD... .He was acting strangely (nothing new there really) and was all unusal on the phone and texts so I text ( which i realised i shouldnt have done that now ) ' I dont get you at all'... .all hell broke lose... .
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NIO
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« Reply #69 on: February 22, 2011, 01:49:18 PM »
"why is this so difficult " yep, many times.

"are you upset with me "?  after telling me she cheated .In fact she used that one several times, usually after being caught in a lie.  Crazy nonsense , glad to be free. Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Myheadisspinning
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« Reply #70 on: February 22, 2011, 02:19:04 PM »
Quote from: NIO on February 22, 2011, 01:49:18 PM
"why is this so difficult " yep, many times.

"are you upset with me "?  after telling me she cheated .In fact she used that one several times, usually after being caught in a lie.  Crazy nonsense , glad to be free. Smiling (click to insert in post)

OMG! He would say things (he called blurts) to my face and then send me a text message "Am I in trouble?" and I was sitting right next to him.

Example: We are parked in his car and he tells me that he cheated on his ex-wife 2 weeks before they were married. I go into pick up my dry cleaning and come back in the car 2 minutes later and he asks, ":)id you read my text?" I look at my phone and it just showed up "Am I in trouble?" THIS GUY IS OUT OF HIS FREAKING MIND!
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Gary+3
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« Reply #71 on: February 22, 2011, 05:39:44 PM »
Quote from: dustyroads on February 20, 2011, 10:35:00 AM
I do everything around here, I feel like a single mom. What do you do around here for me? (Gee I don't know... .put up with your abusive mouth for 17 years)

... .25 years.

Otherwise, word for word with most of this thread.
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gea1911a1
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« Reply #72 on: February 22, 2011, 07:10:09 PM »
"Why do you always get to be the nice guy"
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LW1968
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« Reply #73 on: February 22, 2011, 07:21:59 PM »
"You are my whole world.  I'm nothing without you."

"I'm so stupid.  I don't even know why you're with me."

"I wish I could be just like you."

"Why don't you get as upset about all this stuff like I do?"

"I wish I could be an emotionless robot just like you."

"Nobody understands what I'm going through."

"It's you & me against the world"

I used to look at him in disbelief when I heard these things.  I thought they were just stupid sayings he'd use to get his way, or flip an argument.  Now that I understand BPD a lot better, I see his truth in all of them.
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1stand10
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« Reply #74 on: February 23, 2011, 06:11:53 AM »
Last November my UBPDW said, "I've been going to counseling for almost 16 years and you still won't change."
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cadaver

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« Reply #75 on: February 23, 2011, 06:46:34 AM »
Hi all,

     One day, standing in the kitchen with my wife I told her:

  " I love you so much I would Kill for you,

           I love you so much I would Die for you"

   and she replied:

               ' I don't know what to do with that information '


        cadaver
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learnedtolaugh
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« Reply #76 on: February 23, 2011, 06:50:46 AM »
Her favorite text "How r u?"

I should have just said "fed up" in response.

Her favorite let's get back together line. "I don't want to lose you."

Ok. Why don't you quit doing stuff that will cause you to lose me?

Her favorite idealizing line, "You're the best I've ever seen in the whole wide world."

I can't do any more or I will throw up. Don't have to stick my finger down my throat to do it. Just thinking about her lame lines is enough.

Sunny Skies
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cadaver

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« Reply #77 on: February 23, 2011, 06:52:58 AM »
A quote from BPDex


"I don't know where this is coming from. I'm not a nasty person. This is me attacking you and I can see that. I do love you and sorry for being horrible to you. On reflection I can see that you are creating a monster in me and I am sorry."

--- HA!

Had to laugh! - I'm sure you've been a fly on the wall in OUR relationship! I can feel my mind warping and my heart sinking as MY wife said those words to me!-Bizarre


  TOO funny.

                   Cadaver
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OTH
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« Reply #78 on: February 23, 2011, 09:35:16 AM »
Excerpt
Her favorite text "How r u?"

lucky you... .I just get updates. Have to bring car into shop. Having trouble with the bank. Have to move again. I've been having a strange week. etc. At least she actually asks you a question! LOL. She is prodding me to start a conversation. She can't be the one to do it apparantly. How bizarre is that?
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Mary Oliver:  Someone I loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift

learnedtolaugh
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« Reply #79 on: February 23, 2011, 01:23:42 PM »
OtH,

She doesn't care how I am. It was an attempt to see if I can be reengaged or if I have gotten over the last bizarre situation. There was never anything more than fake concern.

Sunny Skies
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« Reply #80 on: February 23, 2011, 01:36:52 PM »
Yes... .I know... .same as me... .at least she has the decency to actually pose a question to you. I get statements.  Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
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Mary Oliver:  Someone I loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift

chiha
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« Reply #81 on: February 23, 2011, 01:52:43 PM »
Quote from: learnedtolaugh on February 23, 2011, 01:23:42 PM
OtH,

She doesn't care how I am. It was an attempt to see if I can be reengaged or if I have gotten over the last bizarre situation. There was never anything more than fake concern.

Sunny Skies

I can relate to this. Seems to be a pattern for them all.
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on the mend
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« Reply #82 on: February 23, 2011, 01:53:10 PM »
H said "I know I love you more than you love me"  never made any sense to me at all.
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TheSomberlain
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aka "Somber"
« Reply #83 on: February 23, 2011, 02:11:57 PM »
Quote from: JeykellHydeandothers on February 23, 2011, 01:53:10 PM
H said "I know I love you more than you love me"  never made any sense to me at all.

I got that too along with "No one will ever love you as much as I do"
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There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Robhart
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« Reply #84 on: February 23, 2011, 02:15:59 PM »
The last time I saw her we went out to diner with two of her drink swilling friends.

When the check came she said to them"don't worry I'll take care of it"

That meant she was sticking me with their drinks and food... Afterward she was supposed to meet me at her house after diner (we had 2 cars.)Instead she stopped at her bar hangout.   -I obviously was upset and hurt.

Her take on the night" I picked out a pizza at the restaurant I thought you would like". Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

So insult to injury I dropped$60 for 2 slices of bad pizza and got stood up.
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learnedtolaugh
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« Reply #85 on: February 23, 2011, 02:22:21 PM »
It is all lost in translation any way. I got very tired after I learned BPD "speak" of finding out the ugly truth behind the words that were being served up to me. It was usually a projection if it spoke about me, and if they talked about themselves it usually meant that was what they thought I felt. So, I love you more meant you love me more, or I can't love like you can. I am not a word twister and I really prefer to look at things at face value. I called it the Duh Vinci Code for it's complexity and hidden meanings. It was both helpful and painful to crack what their words really meant.

Sunny Skies
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The Ride
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« Reply #86 on: March 05, 2011, 12:51:00 PM »
Here are some of mine... .I'm sure there are more, but I can't recall them all at once.

“Once people get hypersensitive the relationship is usually over”  “What he really meant was “once I start to devalue you the relationship is over”.

“They diagnosed me with bipolar”  What he really meant was “I’m telling you there is something wrong with me, so listen to me”

“I’ve never felt this way before” (about you)

“I feel like I’ve known you all of my life” (no boundaries)

“Are you afraid of being alone” He was really afraid of being alone.

“You’ll leave me before I leave you” (what a crock)

“I’m losing you” (crying when I wouldn’t stay on the phone with him all day) Meant I was losing him.

“I don’t know what to say” (After I told him a friend of mine died)

"No one will ever love you as much as I do" (what another crock, abusive too, that's like saying I don't deserve to be loved by anyone else or am not loveable, sheesh)

“I’m so confused”  (that's no lie and so am I)

“I give up”  He would say this right before the good ole relationship recycle routine... .

"You're the most beautiful woman in the world"  Flattering and what woman wouldn't want to hear or believe this from the one she loves? Sucka
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just_think
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« Reply #87 on: March 05, 2011, 01:03:54 PM »
the ride, it sounds like you dated the exact male version of my ex. does this mean you are my exact version? Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
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ItsAboutTime
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« Reply #88 on: March 05, 2011, 01:12:34 PM »
"I never stopped loving you, I just stopped my relationship with you"



   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   
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The Ride
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« Reply #89 on: March 05, 2011, 01:15:34 PM »
Quote from: thinkpensive on March 05, 2011, 01:03:54 PM
the ride, it sounds like you dated the exact male version of my ex. does this mean you are my exact version? Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

Lol, Thinkpensive,

Aren't the similarities amazing?  And all this time I thought my ex was so special.  I'm definitely looking forward to meeting nice,normal people.  
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