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Author Topic: Emotional roller coaster after the breakup  (Read 7362 times)
DepressIsolatedMeg
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Posts: 141


« Reply #60 on: January 03, 2013, 12:33:55 AM »

Thank you for all of your kind words!

I stop posting here because I start to feel better.

Day 30

School finally started yesterday. I was feeling great when I was in school, I didn't think anything about my ex at all. I guess school is my ultimate place to get away from all the sadness and stress.

I didn't go out on X'mas eve and X'mas. On new year's eve I went out of town with my mother and some of her friends to visit my cousin. It is weird that now it's 2013. 2012 has just gone way too fast, and it was chaotic. I'm just glad it's gone now. I decided to try to live to the fullest in 2013. Become someone who I will admire.

I started doing more design work after being so unproductive and depress from the last 3 weeks. A published author who I knew from the past contacted me, and I offered to make a book cover design with no cost for him, (last year I was going to make him one, but all the fights and everything stopped me from finishing the work. I felt guilty so I offered him a design with no cost. It's going to be published thus it is going to look nice on my resume as well.)

I am meeting with the lady from my school's career service tomorrow to talk about an internship opportunity at a marketing company. I have submitted the application at the big corporation I mentioned before, but I'm not going to just wait on that. I need to get my career going since there is only one month left until my graduation.

Ex texted me both on X'mas and New year. I still have contact with him, but I only see him once a week when I take the dog over to let him see the dog. Besides that we have no communication at all. He still gave me a hard time sometimes, but I learn to just validate him and not to defense myself at all - now I finally understand there's no way to defense myself, and it only put myself in a worse spot. I don't plan to go back with him, I like how it is right now. He cries every time when I leave. I just feel sorry for him, but that is not enough to make me want to go back. I don't want to go back, I don't know how long this is going to last, but I'm not going to think too much at this point, I'll deal with it when that day comes. I just know that I don't want to go back to him, unless he is completely changed - which is very unlikely.
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BleedsOrange
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Posts: 415


« Reply #61 on: January 03, 2013, 10:11:17 AM »

BOOM! Big Corner turned! Congrats on the book cover. Those are tons of fun! I understand why you wanted to do it for free, but to quote the Joker in the Dark Knight, "When you're good at something, never do it for free." Figure out what a "student rate" for you would be appealing to both get the work you want to build your portfolio, and get you some money. Gotta make that paper (did I really just say that?).

It's good that you have made a concrete decision on what you want as far as your ex goes, but you still have some questions you should ask. What is the real purpose of the dog visits? What are you getting out of it really? What is he really getting out of it? I dont mean these in any nefarious ways, but if he cries every time you leave, is this really good for him? Is he really ready for this LC? Now Im not saying be concerned with what is good for him, only for yourself. Yet, you should really take a look at what is going on objectively. I dont have the answers for you, just questions.

You sound like you're doing really great. That is awesome. Keep it up, but stay mindful. I know that often, right as I started to get my confidence back, I became vulnerable and short-sided.

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Surnia
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3901



« Reply #62 on: January 03, 2013, 12:05:39 PM »

  DIM

this are good news! So great you found your way toward healing and to creativity!  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

And you could shift your attention from the past to the future, by submitting an application. I will keep my fingers crossed.  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Keep going like this.
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
OTH
Retired Staff
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 2307


It's not too late to make better choices


« Reply #63 on: January 03, 2013, 12:15:26 PM »

Good news. Sounds like you are doing better. Too much time to dwell on our hurt feelings can be very counterproductive. Glad being busy is helping you. I don't really see a problem with the limited contact. It seems like it is helping you ease out of it. When our illusions are shattered a bit of limited contact can help reinforce our new found reality.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

Thank you for all of your kind words!

I stop posting here because I start to feel better.

Day 30

School finally started yesterday. I was feeling great when I was in school, I didn't think anything about my ex at all. I guess school is my ultimate place to get away from all the sadness and stress.

I didn't go out on X'mas eve and X'mas. On new year's eve I went out of town with my mother and some of her friends to visit my cousin. It is weird that now it's 2013. 2012 has just gone way too fast, and it was chaotic. I'm just glad it's gone now. I decided to try to live to the fullest in 2013. Become someone who I will admire.

I started doing more design work after being so unproductive and depress from the last 3 weeks. A published author who I knew from the past contacted me, and I offered to make a book cover design with no cost for him, (last year I was going to make him one, but all the fights and everything stopped me from finishing the work. I felt guilty so I offered him a design with no cost. It's going to be published thus it is going to look nice on my resume as well.)

I am meeting with the lady from my school's career service tomorrow to talk about an internship opportunity at a marketing company. I have submitted the application at the big corporation I mentioned before, but I'm not going to just wait on that. I need to get my career going since there is only one month left until my graduation.

Ex texted me both on X'mas and New year. I still have contact with him, but I only see him once a week when I take the dog over to let him see the dog. Besides that we have no communication at all. He still gave me a hard time sometimes, but I learn to just validate him and not to defense myself at all - now I finally understand there's no way to defense myself, and it only put myself in a worse spot. I don't plan to go back with him, I like how it is right now. He cries every time when I leave. I just feel sorry for him, but that is not enough to make me want to go back. I don't want to go back, I don't know how long this is going to last, but I'm not going to think too much at this point, I'll deal with it when that day comes. I just know that I don't want to go back to him, unless he is completely changed - which is very unlikely.

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Mary Oliver:  Someone I loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift

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