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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Not returning your stuff. Seriously What is that about?  (Read 22203 times)
Want2know
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #60 on: January 27, 2013, 11:16:17 PM »

this is why it's weird.  If she had given me the silent treatment during the rship, i wouldn't think this is so strange. But she wasn't anything like that. I was the quieter one

Perhaps she is not responding to you because she is very done with the relationship, and is trying to detach, as you should be doing, too.

Understanding our ex's behavior is one thing - obsessing over it is not healthy.

There comes a time when letting go of something that has caused us harm, including someone we felt close with (even though in many ways we're 'comfortable' with it, being used to it), just has to happen or we decay more than grow. We can turn what they did to us against our own selves, perpetuating those pains and making them worse.

Very wise words!  Time to let go, Diana, and start focusing on creating a new life without her.
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“The path to heaven doesn't lie down in flat miles. It's in the imagination with which you perceive this world, and the gestures with which you honor it." ~ Mary Oliver
Diana82
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« Reply #61 on: January 28, 2013, 12:12:58 AM »

I know obsession is unhealthy. I'm trying to work through this with my therapist.

But this distorted reality is interesting to me...

Sometimes it feels like my ex believed her distorted perceptions of reality. I can't believe she would have been that good an actress     And perhaps her stories and such do not fall under 'calculated deception'.

This is what I am thinking... I told my ex she was too inconsistent and implied she could be deceptive.

Perhaps BPDs are unaware of their own deception because they have such a distorted view of reality?  They do feel 'harassed' and they do feel 'threatened' by others. They may even think someone has abused them.  They genuinely believe people are out to hurt them or leave them...

So any suggestion that they are deceptive is seen as SO far fetched to them and insulting...  

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GreenMango
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« Reply #62 on: January 28, 2013, 12:37:46 AM »

Staff only

This thread has reached it's four page maximum and is now locked.

Have a great day.
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