Wearing a mask

[Depression = 72% of members]

My soon to be exuBPDw has told me that for the whole 19 years of our marriage that she has wore a mask to be the person I wanted her to be.  I now see that she wears a mask for everyone and really doesn't know who she is.  Is it possible that they will ever find out who they truly are or will they wear a mask their whole life?

[cal644]

My soon to be exuBPDw has told me that for the whole 19 years of our marriage that she has wore a mask to be the person I wanted her to be.  I now see that she wears a mask for everyone and really doesn't know who she is.  Is it possible that they will ever find out who they truly are or will they wear a mask their whole life?

[mitti]

I believe it is likely if they never address there issues that they will always wear that mask. PwBPDs have a very poor sense of self so, which is why I believe they also have such poor boundaries, both for themselves and others.

My ex told us in T that the closer he felt to me the less sure he was of where he ended and I began. That was quite en eye-opener for me. And because of that he also misinterpreted emotional intimacy and strong feelings for me as dependency. Yes, love is in a way but I am sure all of us here see that as a good and voluntary thing. For him it was frightening. He thought he was losing himself and read my needs as manipulation and control.

[Changed4safety]

Mine loves to role-play and do costuming for science fiction conventions.  He likes to "be someone else" for a while.  I think it's because there's no real "him" there.   

[trouble11]

Mine doesn't like anyone to see him.  He's LE and worked nights for years so he could be in his car and no-one could see in.  He likes golf and always tries to go only with SO, if paired with another twosome he rarely speaks to them, and never forms friendships.  I, on the other hand, think spending 4 hour with another couple is a perfect time to "make friends".   He really never wants to go anywhere there are people.  For this, I'm glad he left.  Can't imagine a life where all I ever did was golf and stay home watching TV.