I have a promise to myself and have had for years " as long as I can go to bed every night and know i have not f****d anyone over to get where i am, then im happy and don't care what people believe "
Wow HaveGoneNC this brought tears to my eyes, it is what I believe too, and always have. Something my parents taught me. Never heard it said that way before, but it triggered because my ex constantly tried to tell me I was this manipulative, using, horror of a person, when actually the above life long belief held me fast in the darkest of days.
Standfree: the truth is, the people who know you, the people you care about, really
know you. A pwBPD cannot erase history with lies. It shows them up for what they are. Everyone else on the periphery aren't really interested one way or another. It reflects badly on them, not you, it gets seen as playground behavior. Not pleasant though.
The best antidote for dealing with a pwBPD is to be unapologetically you. The people who like and love you, do so because of exactly who you are.