No Contact and Birthdays

[RedCandle]

I'm a few days away from 3 months No Contact on both sides. It's been hard but I'm in a MUCH better place now, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually.

I have *no* intention of breaking NC at this point. While I would love to "catch up" with him... .  hearing that he has a new girl or getting a nasty response would REALLY set me back... .  and I refuse to go BACK. So I strictly keep my distance.

However, Wednesday is his birthday. A nagging part of me wants to wish him a happy birthday... this man who for years was a big part of my life and who I cared deeply for. The other part of me says that any man who calls me a C*^#!, a liar, a slut and a B*^@# can go right to hell and pass another year in dead silence from me! (wow, all THAT in one head!).

I was just hoping to hear some stories from others... .  how you've managed no contact during birthdays? Lessons learned? Reflections?

Thanks everyone!

[mango_flower]

Sounds kind of cheesy and airy fairy - but maybe just send a wish out to the universe, light a candle perhaps - hoping for his healing and continued happiness.  Wish him peace.

Special occasions are hard.  I haven't yet had a birthday without her - I mean, I HAVE, but it was less than 3 weeks after we split and she was still living here, so she still gave me my presents she had bought, and came out for a birthday meal with me and our mutual friends.  Her birthday is a couple of months away yet.  So I still have time to think.

You say you're in a better place now - don't throw it away for one day.  Stay strong. x

[turtle]

However, Wednesday is his birthday. A nagging part of me wants to wish him a happy birthday... this man who for years was a big part of my life and who I cared deeply for. The other part of me says that any man who calls me a C*^#!, a liar, a slut and a B*^s12# can go right to hell and pass another year in dead silence from me! (wow, all THAT in one head!).

Sending a "happy birthday" is sending a mixed message.  No Contact means No Contact. Period.  It's not a punishment for him, it's deliverance for YOU!

I use the ex's birthday to celebrate MY freedom from insanity.   I give thanks on HIS birthday that I am no longer subjected to the horrible name calling, insults, sarcasm, fear, crazy making, and violence.

turtle