I've said a few times now that my sweet girl no longer exists. She has been taken over by this new persona, who I don't know and don't like much.
Whether she EVER existed is another matter, and I don't even want to think about that.
But it feels like a bereavement to me... . my sweet girl is no more.
So I was wondering:
Has anyone ever gone back and made peace with it all?
I have in my head that I want to re-visit places... . I want to go to where I proposed to her (after she had proposed to me first, but that was on holiday, nowhere near here).
I want to go back to where I got down on one knee, promised to love her forever... . I want to go back and stand there, remember that day, and to cry, silently promise that I will always love her in my own way, and say my goodbyes.
I want to go back to where we used to sit by the lake and take a picnic in the summer.
I want to go back to all the places we frequented, and say goodbye to that life. A final goodbye.
Even if it hurts... . I am sure I will sob my heart out, wondering "what if".
But I feel I need to do it, I need closure.
Is this a weird idea?
I want my best friend to come with me - she has been with me through the whole thing and she is amazing.
I want to say goodbye to my sweet girl, remember the good times and re-live them one final time before I try to shut that door.
Because to me this DOES feel like a bereavement.
Has anyone done this?
Does it work?
Is it a bad idea?
Thank you
x