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Author Topic: 1.5 years... first call with words...  (Read 1208 times)
nylonsquid
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 441


« Reply #30 on: March 31, 2013, 10:42:56 PM »

I admit to doing wrong things. But the only bad feelings I have is only to myself and not to her. I want to be a better person than what I was being when with her. I went through her phone one time to see her texts and photos. This was after she was starting to paint me black and I can see the devaluation process happening. One night I showed up wanting to love her and be affectionate but she ended up wanting to argue for hours questioning my loyalty and accusing me of going out having sex with women (for ZERO reason). It got to the point that I got suspicious that this is projecting so when she went to sleep I looked through her phone.   Yes, gross to do such a thing. I could say she made me do it but why was I in a relationship that made me a person I didn't like or recognize? Good riddance. Really, what a garbage type person. Actually I feel bad for myself knowing how much I cared for her, cried for her and supported her only to be accused of sleeping around with women. This while she was setting up her plan Bs and giving exes attention. Not to mention she requested to see my face while I cried. There was no ounce of sympathy on her face, if anything there was joy in seeing me in pain. Why do we feel sorry for them? We need to wake up and feel sorry for what we've put ourselves through!

It just hit me; She always mentioned how her exes cried for her. She LOVED it! If your pwBPD was anything like mine, stop being hard no yourself. I hate the fact that my empathy was used for control and manipulation. My very essence of being an empathetic and sensitive human was being exploited.

Hey! There's some anger coming out here! I'm liking it since I've been mostly quiet and 'understanding' Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Wooddragon
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Relationship status: single
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« Reply #31 on: April 01, 2013, 07:41:48 AM »

The one time I went thru my exes phone I found messages from a woman that he was planning to meet up with. If I'm ever in the situation again where I do that I hope I would realise that the relationship had to end. The worst part of it was that i stayed with him after that (shudder). I also raged at mine on one occasion but strangely he didn't rage back & had actually forgotten all about it a couple of months later while we were not together & I apologised to him for it.
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DragoN
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« Reply #32 on: April 04, 2015, 11:08:49 AM »

... .the same speech I heard for over a decade... .

l did not raise my voice. not once. when he could not get a reaction out of me... .other than the same truth repeated. he hung up after calling me a btch. and i told him that was one of many reasons... .we were over.


... .then he called back not one minute later to wish me well the rest of my life.

sad for him. so completely blind. such an intelligent if not truly brilliant man but so blind...


my emotions? mild surprise and a brief but soft wave of sadness.

confirmation that some people are truly incapable of change even others try to make them aware of a thought... .

sad the damage pain can destroy in a person. strange what it can awaken as well and not always a negative for some either i guess...

hope everyone is doing well.

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JRT
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« Reply #33 on: April 04, 2015, 11:55:29 AM »

Sorry to hear... .jsut to understand; you were NC with him for a year and a half? How did you both split? Was it he or you?
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Heldfast
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: abandoned December 22, 2014
Posts: 286


« Reply #34 on: April 04, 2015, 12:16:29 PM »

I have to confess to finding such bewildering. What goes on in their heads and hearts that gets a series of calls like that out of the blue? I hope you're doing ok Dragon, I really do. It sounds like it only hurt a little, which is still more than you deserved.
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"Chaos is not a pit. Chaos is a ladder." - Lord Petyr Baelish
DragoN
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« Reply #35 on: April 04, 2015, 12:48:52 PM »

JRT,

it was me to finally end it. the marriage was quite insane. the good and the bad.

Heldfast,

not pain... .just an internal silence and mild revulsion for the obviousness of his line of questioning. he wants my pain to feel good about himself.to give him relevance. its not diffeent than some of the revenge fantasies posted on the leaving board but the source of the anger is deeper and always was. it was present long before i met him. and it still owns him. he is a poor liar... .

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Grey Kitty
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 7182



« Reply #36 on: April 06, 2015, 10:30:37 AM »

Reminds me of the saying "The best revenge is living well." At least I hope that is where you are at!

DragoN, are you happy with your post-breakup life?
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DragoN
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« Reply #37 on: April 06, 2015, 12:32:59 PM »

Happy... .yes.  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Still... have to shake my head at his call though... .unbelievable. Same old crap.  

Seems in some cases, the more things change the more they stay the same... .which is not necessarily a negative thing, depending how you look at it... .  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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