504 plan/IEP -- how to navigate the school system

[Sun Dogs]

We are trying to convince our daughter's high school counselor that she needs accommodations, that she has a disability because of her recent diagnoses of depression, anxiety, and emergent BPD traits.  Her counselor does not know what BPD is and yet must make the call and so far is basing his decision on cognitive ability (past grades have been good, now failing) and physical disability only (she has none).  Today I emailed him the line for the BPD family web site and asked for an appointment this week to see him.  I plan to print out some basic info about BPD and highlight key points and bring that to him.  How else can I convince him that her need is real?  What kinds of accommodations should we ask for?  Any other advice on this topic is much appreciated.  Thank you!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[mggt]

Hello, I would suggest you have her t or phys write a letter to the school suggesting she has an iep, we did that for our d and we had no problem with school helping us.  She ended up going to a special school from 8th grade to senior which the school paid for and paid for transportation,  Long story but... .   keep trying and give the counselor as much info on BPD as possible so they can truly understand disorder good luck mggt

[Sun Dogs]

Thank you, that's a great idea and I think she would be willing to do it with some help.  This is all new to us (accommodation, IEP) and we are trying to understand it and connect it with our teenager's needs.  Did your d explain why she thought it was needed in the letter? it's one thing for our daughter to say she needs it but we don't even totally know how to articulate this.

[mggt]

Sundogs,  Its a long long story our d started having problems in 6 th grade no friends depressed All the teachers really liked our d so they were very helpful in getting her extra help in classes.  She was dx with BPD later maybe around 10 th grade or so.  Have the t or phys write specifically what her problem are concentrating depression lack of social skills whatever and have the t or phys write down info on BPD so the counselor and teachers can really understand the disorder , it is hard for people to fully understand so make it as easy as possible for them and put in your own two cents as you know your d better than anyone else.  Do they have a phys in school ours did she was very instrumental in helping us .  You just really have to stay on top of this and keep pushing for your d.  What grade is she in?  Our d had problems with her grades homework was a nightmare could not concentrate and would explode .good luck ttyl mggt

[pessim-optimist]

Hi Sun Dogs,

And   Welcome to this board!

I don't have personal experience with IEPs as our "child" is an adult now, but I wanted to encourage you on your journey. It looks like you already took some important steps on the way.  

This board is really helpful in finding and sharing some really good resources and sharing support and experience.

Our grandson 8, has an IEP due to his mild autism (he is not BPD), and as I recall, the process of getting his IEP involved a good amount of paperwork together with some medical records and I think some academic testing too, to determine and customize his needs. As schools are government-funded, and special programs receive extra funding, I think that is the reason behind the paperwork - to substantiate the need first, and then to determine the specific way to meet the need... .  

What are your concerns regarding the counselor putting down cognitive and physical disability?

Would it help if you asked the counselor to explain the whole process to you in detail, so both of you can cooperate effectively in the best interest of your d?

[cleanandsober]

Our daughter had her IEP established in kindergarten. The school had approached us because of our daughter's lack of "attending" and ability to focus, etc.  At that time the psychiatrist worked with her teachers and had them fill out "surveys" of how our daughter was doing in school to get a better idea of what the problem could be.  They dx her with ADHD.  She has been in special ed. ever since with annual IEP meetings.  She is now a sophomore.  Her PBD traits started emerging in 7th grade.  She has always struggled in school and was recently placed in an alternative school, which she really likes.

From my experience, the school has always been supportive and wants our daughter to succeed.  The IEP was a "god send" for us.  The special ed. teachers, social workers, and guidance counselors all work as a team.  Don't give up!  It's the law that your school district has to provide every child with an adequate education.  I hope you can hook up with the right people to advocate for your daughter. 

Best Wishes!       

[mamachelle]

Hi Sun Dogs,


Our grandson 8, has an IEP due to his mild autism (he is not BPD), and as I recall, the process of getting his IEP involved a good amount of paperwork together with some medical records and I think some academic testing too, to determine and customize his needs. As schools are government-funded, and special programs receive extra funding, I think that is the reason behind the paperwork - to substantiate the need first, and then to determine the specific way to meet the need... .  

What are your concerns regarding the counselor putting down cognitive and physical disability?

Would it help if you asked the counselor to explain the whole process to you in detail, so both of you can cooperate effectively in the best interest of your d?

Hi Sun Dogs,

I have to say my experiences and my friends with kids needing IEPs --- are similar to pessim-optimist's. Even with an IEP-- getting all the right acomodations often requires a lot of help and documentation and advocating very clearly and directly for your child. PO is correct "the reason behind the paperwork - to substantiate the need first, and then to determine the specific way to meet the need... .   "

You absolutely can not depend on 1 counselor to get this IEP into place if he is already giving you problems. Schools are strapped for cash, they will often do little without a very focused parental effort.

Have you spoken with the doctors to get an idea of what you need for your D? Other parents in your district can offer insight. There are websites with this information too. Also advocacy groups and SE advocates and attorneys that do this work as well and will attend meetings with you.

My SS!5 had to have his IEP massively changed last year after his hospitalization. He has Bipolar, autism spectrum, learning disorders... .  

His neuropsych, psychologist, psychiatrist all helped me get the right accommodations along with grandma a Spec Ed lawyer instructing me from 500 miles away  

It can be done, you just need to be very informed, focused and your daughter's strongest advocate.  


mamachelle

[lbjnltx]

Some of the more common accommodations in an IEP/504 plan:

In public school:

Extra time to complete assignments

Smaller classroom sizes

Open invitation to leave a class and go to the counselor when feeling overwhelmed

Increased/daily communication w/parents

Extra time to complete state standardized testing

One on one tutoring

Reduced assignments

Alternative education:

In home tutoring/online public school

Therapuetic day school

Therapuetic boarding school


It is important to understand the difference between a 504 (a voluntary agreement) and the IEP (a binding contract).

[griz]

You also should find out if there is advocacy center in your area. We were lucky and able to find one and they were unbelievable helpful.  The gave us guidance on what to do, who to speak with, what to say at SED meetings, who should attend and the list went on and on.  My DD was given an IEP in 10th grade.  They tried to put up a good fight but I was relentless.  I had her T and her P write letters along with her regular pediatrician.  Remember every child is entitled to an education that meets his/her needs.  THAT IS THE LAW.

Her IEP entitled her to all of the things that lbjnltx said and when this wasn't working at the middle of 11th grade she was able to have home tutoring.  School was a major trigger for my DD and getting her out of there was our only option.  She was able to complete 11th grade and finished her senior year in summer school.

Also remember that even if they assign her an IEP you must be vigilant that her teachers are adhering to it.  One of my daughters teachers resented the fact that she had an IEP and did everything in his power to make her life miserable.  I had no problem reminding him that he could be reported to the state for not following her IEP and I had no problem doing so.

If you would like any other info just let me know even if you prefer to private message me.

Griz

[Sun Dogs]

Oh my gosh thank you all so much for your replies!  I have spent all day on-line trying to understand the process and get myself educated.  Your input in invaluable and your kindness and support.  Thank you!   

I have written an email today to our local ARC chapter to see if they provide advocate services for the IEP process. 

I am now writing a letter to the school to formally request that our daughter be evaluated for and IEP.  I am looking for a sample letter or a list of what to include but not finding one yet.  So here is what I have written so far -- hope you don't mind me sharing this.  Please feel free to comment or offer any advice or suggestions.

Dear __________,

We are writing this letter for formally request an evaluation for our daughter for a disability determination for an Individualized Education Program under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEAS).  We give our consent for such an evaluation to take place. 

We are requesting this evaluation because she has struggled with emotional disturbance (mental illness) for many years, and it is finally, quite visibly, taking its toll on her ability to learn at school as represented by her failing grades, tardies, and absences, both excused and unexcused.  In addition, we are concerned for her personal safety when unsupervised.  Her most recent diagnoses are major depression, anxiety, and emerging borderline personality disorder traits.  These diagnoses were given by ______  at _____ in _____ after her recent 14-day stay there (of which you now have detailed record).  At the very least, depression and anxiety are specifically identified as emotional disturbances under IDEAS and eligible for accommodation.

If I may borrow from the National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities web site:  “Children and adolescents with an emotional disturbance should receive services based on their individual needs, and everyone involved in their education or care needs to be well-informed about the care that they are receiving. It’s important to coordinate services between home, school, and community, keeping the communication channels open between all parties involved.”  We send you this letter so that we may initiate just that -- I couldn’t have said it any better.

I look forward to your prompt response and to doing our part to ensure that her educational needs are being met. 

Sincerely (signature)

[qcarolr]

Sun Dogs,

This can be a trying process if the school does not accept their responsibilities easily. I went through this with my BPDDD26 starting when she was 6 after her inpatient stay - dx bipolar and confirm previous ADHD dx. She was in special ed with lots of accomadations throughout her schooling.

Now we are raising my gd7, and her first IEP meeting is next week. The school actaully initiated this after the intervention plan they tried did not give very good results. SHe has also recently been dx ADHD, though there is a lot of anxiety and possible learning problems to be sorted out as we go. The process is much better organized so far than it was 20 years ago.

Your letter sounds good. It should get the assessment process started. Getting an advocate really helped me a lot with my DD. Keep us posted on your progress.

qcr  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

It's recommended that the letter be sent registered mail so that you have a record of when they received it... .   I think they have 15 days to respond.

[mamachelle]

It's recommended that the letter be sent registered mail so that you have a record of when they received it... .   I think they have 15 days to respond.

I always send my requests like this to multiple teachers and admins via email. Registered mail is good but I would also email. I am sure you will get a quicker response.

My Mom the Spec Ed lawyer... .   says to always cc multiple people so they can be held accountable.

I think you should go to the school website and make sure to send this to:

her Counselor

Director of Special Ed at school level

School Psychologist

as well as any others you were told to contact.

My district is fairly large so figuring out who to send what can be confusing.

If there are any teachers that have been her advocate then be sure to include them as well.

I am not sure of all the details with your DD but I know my son did outpatient for 2 weeks before he went back. We had an emergency IEP meeting to put him in the district therapeutic school to finish 8th grade.

Now he is a special program for kids with autism and dev delays and communication issues within the main high school.

Has your DD done any outpatient treatment since her hospitalization?

Is she emotionally ready to return to school? If not, then maybe you could see if she can get into outpatient treatment for a while if your insurance will cover it.

Keep us posted. Your letter sounded good.   

[mggt]

Your letter sounds excellent good luck I would also make sure you have letters from her t or phys or any other people involved in her diagnosis 

[Sun Dogs]

Thank you all for your suggestions.  I visited her school counselor today and truly, I am sure he's a wonderful person, but he really seems clueless about this.  I did by the end of our time manage to get a name of someone who can answer my questions, an employee of the district who he said he would call this week.  I asked a colleague about this and went ahead and called her myself.  They are going to meet on Wednesday and she will let me know what happens next.  In the meantime I'm going to finish up this letter and email and mail it as you all recommended.  THANK YOU for your HELP!  You are all:     

[mamachelle]

Hi Sun Dogs,

I'm sorry that your counselor was clueless... .   Or should I say seemed clueless  

The reality is, he should be offering you accommodations for your DD. He is giving you the run around. Sorry to be blunt... .   But your DD is not the first kid he's seen suffering from Depression and Anxiety and school failure... .  

By outpatient, I mean, a day treatment program with therapy and where the school work is sent in by the school.

My friend is dealing with this right now. They are offering Her DD15 accommodations left and right ... .   but fighting with 2  attorneys at IEP meetings any  therapeutic school placement for their daughter. Their daughter is a genius but school phobic, depressed, OCD, cutting... .   And they are doing everything in their power to keep her in school... .   It's terrible. Their attorney is getting ready to sue them as now they are trying to say the 3rd party psychiatrist they required see the girl was not properly prepared when he evaluated her. He recommends therapeutic school placement and they. are trying to block it. A real mess. Meanwhile friends DD is in outpatient. It's all about the money in that district.

I hope you get some answers soon. I don't want to scare you with this story... .   I just want you to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best.

Yours,

Mamachelle

[twojaybirds]

Let me add that a diagnosis is not a reason for a 504 or IEP.  You can have lots of diagnosis but if you are participating in school w/o concern or problems than your kiddo probably wil not qualify.

The difference between the two is an IEP is for students who qualify for special education services. A school psych has to do the evaluation and determine if a student meets the needs for an IEP. Outside letters can be helpful but are not the determinig factors.

A 504 is for a general education student who needs something extra so they can be succesfull in the classroom.  For things like stress/depression/anxiety a 504 may be the answer.  It would read something like if you kiddo starts to feel stressed he/she has to talk to the teacher/counselor and ask for extra time to finsih the project. 

They both usually start with a referral from a teacher or parent or the student.  Then there is a SIT meeting.  (student intervention meeting or another similar acronym.)

They are both legal contracts once signed by everyone.  Go to the school districts website and look for the links for the process not the schools website.

[qcarolr]

Thank you all for your suggestions.  I visited her school counselor today and truly, I am sure he's a wonderful person, but he really seems clueless about this.  I did by the end of our time manage to get a name of someone who can answer my questions, an employee of the district who he said he would call this week.  I asked a colleague about this and went ahead and called her myself.  They are going to meet on Wednesday and she will let me know what happens next.  In the meantime I'm going to finish up this letter and email and mail it as you all recommended.  THANK YOU for your HELP!  You are all:     

I am glad you got a contact in the district office and hope you get something started after they meet this week. They do need your permission to go forward with any assessments or intervention plans. Thanks for keeping us updated.

qcr  

[Sun Dogs]

Good news!  We have a SIT meeting next week.  Yes!  This is actual progress!  The purpose of this meeting will be to come up with an evaluation plan.  Came about after a face-to-face meeting with that favorite school counselor, and I once again chased my tail until the very end when I managed to get a name from him of someone else in the district who could answer my questions.  Called her and she actually is a proactive person!  Followed-up with a more formal, written request via email to the principal copying other involved folks and which was also postal mailed (certified). 

So next question is:  what kinds of tests would you suggest they give her?  Anything specific for teens with BPD?

Thank you all for your encouragement!

[twojaybirds]

They will use their tests.  You can bring a statment before from the p or a dr.  but rememebr it is for their consideration only; it is not a mandate just because a dr. says so.

Her diagnosis is not that important. The school cares about school performance.  That is all that is in their jurisdiction. The good side of that is there is no generalizing especially with BPD there is such a spectrum you don't want your dd sterotyped.

They will probably look at her grades and decide if she needs an academic assessment.

THey will discuss her behaviors as she acts in school and decide if she needs a beahavior plan

They will discuss social/emotional, if she has friends, participates, speaks up, asks questions, interacts socially.

You can advocate with the stress she brings home from school and things that may help lower her stress so she can bemore successful in school.

Before you leave ask for the timeline and when you will  hear back.  All of these events have legal timelines as to when and  how long the school can take to test and make determinations.

good luck and keep usposted!

[mamachelle]

Sun Dogs,

I am glad you got your meeting! Lbjntx has some good things to look for.

Some of the more common accommodations in an IEP/504 plan:

In public school:

Extra time to complete assignments

Smaller classroom sizes

Open invitation to leave a class and go to the counselor when feeling overwhelmed

Increased/daily communication w/parents

Extra time to complete state standardized testing

One on one tutoring

Reduced assignments

Alternative education:

In home tutoring/online public school

Therapuetic day school

Therapuetic boarding school

It is important to understand the difference between a 504 (a voluntary agreement) and the IEP (a binding contract).

Given that she has failing grades, you might ask for immediate relief in that area. Also forgiven homework and shortened assignments with a tutor (my kids high school has a couple centers where kids can go to get extra help) to get her caught up. I think these types of things could be accomplished immediately. They could have a social worker or psychologist checking in with her daily and she should have a place/pass to go to cool down. These are all relatively easy to obtain and I would push to get as much as you can right now, even in some kind of temporary 504 plan. Let them know your DD is really struggling and she needs some immediate relief because you are concerned about her school failure.

They will use their tests.  You can bring a statment before from the p or a dr.  but rememebr it is for their consideration only; it is not a mandate just because a dr. says so.

Her diagnosis is not that important. The school cares about school performance.  That is all that is in their jurisdiction. The good side of that is there is no generalizing especially with BPD there is such a spectrum you don't want your dd sterotyped.

They will probably look at her grades and decide if she needs an academic assessment.

THey will discuss her behaviors as she acts in school and decide if she needs a beahavior plan

They will discuss social/emotional, if she has friends, participates, speaks up, asks questions, interacts socially.

You can advocate with the stress she brings home from school and things that may help lower her stress so she can bemore successful in school.

Before you leave ask for the timeline and when you will  hear back.  All of these events have legal timelines as to when and  how long the school can take to test and make determinations.

good luck and keep usposted!

as twojaybirds says above:

They will ask for what tests they want. I don't know what specific deficits your DD has in terms of academic skills. Usually they will do the WISC or similar IQ testing and use that to compare to actual academic performance.

There will probably be parental and teacher rating scales to test for behavior and see what else may be going on.

I would still go back to her doctors today and ask their opinion.

They will have probably like 30 school days-- not including weekends or days off-- to get the testing done. That will put you at the end of the school year. Was she planning on going doing summer school? Definitely ask for a timeline and try to get immediate acommodations put into place to help your DD with feeling overwhelmed.

I have not had a child with IEP in the schools who had BPD but my SS15 has some similar crossover issues... .   so I hope this helps.

 

mamachelle

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sun Dogs]

Hi Everyone -thought I already posted this news but now I don't see it there.  We have a meeting on this Wednesday will lots of school folks to organize an evaluation plan.  They also pulled her out of English and put her in a study period with an excellent teacher who she worked with in middle school.  This is what we call Forward Movement people!     I am Grateful for all of your encouragement. 

So here are my new questions.

* I believe our daughter should be invited to attend.  Is this a good idea? 

* If so, how should she be invited?  Who should invite her?  When?

* What kinds of tests are best for a kid with BPD?

Thanks a kajillion million billion.  I am feeling so much better about this now!

[Sun Dogs]

I forgot to say that we also worked on the letter, emailed it to the involved school staff, and sent it by certified mail this week.  We received several replies right away by email which were all positive.  I suspect this is all going to go better now that we have gotten around that counselor.  Yesssss!

[mamachelle]

So here are my new questions.

* I believe our daughter should be invited to attend.  Is this a good idea? 

* If so, how should she be invited?  Who should invite her?  When?

* What kinds of tests are best for a kid with BPD?

Thanks a kajillion million billion.  I am feeling so much better about this now!

Hi Sun Dogs,

I think after age 14 the students are automatically invited. Check with your contacts, but usually you get a formal invite letter with all people invited listed including your DD ... .   or you "waive" the invite -required 10 days-as you sit down to the meeting. You will be signing a lot of things at the meeting so be careful especially at the end if you don't agree.

I would have your DD write up a list of goals and things she feels she needs help with. I would have her present this at the beginning, meet people, then have her go back to class.

It will surely upset her to be there as you hash out what she will be tested for, how she has been behaving, and what the teachers think of her. People with BPD and other kinds of mental illness, lack insight into their condition. It's not like if you all sit at a table and say, ok, now DD will be able to control herself just because she said she could at the meeting.

I actually fought at the school level a very snotty phD "transitions coordinator" to not have my SS15 attend the whole meeting. The district superintendent for Special Ed- who I ultimately appealed to-- who had a behaviorally disturbed son himself--- said he agreed and that his son never attended an entire IEP meeting unless it was a "celebratory short one".

As for tests, see my last post. They will most likely do IQ testing and behavior rating scales and observation. BPD presents on a spectrum so it is going to be different with each kid. Ask your psychologist what he or she thinks you should ask for as far as testing. My SS had full testing with a pediatric neuropsych prior to the last round of meetings. He then had behavior, speech, and Sensory OT stuff at the school. If your DD has no issues like this === then I would speculate they will do the bare minimum.

Hope this helps.

Best,

mamachelle

[griz]

So here are my new questions.

* I believe our daughter should be invited to attend.  Is this a good idea? 

* If so, how should she be invited?  Who should invite her?  When?

* What kinds of tests are best for a kid with BPD?

Thanks a kajillion million billion.  I am feeling so much better about this now!

Hi Sun Dogs,

Here are my experiences with your questions.  My daughter by law was invited to attend all SCE meetings.  Notices were sent to her via USPS which I promptly destroyed.  I asked her T and her P if she should attend and was told in the beginning she should absolutely NOT attend.  I was glad I listened.  I can't imagine how DD would have reacted to some of the ignorant statements that were made at these meetings such as, "why can't she just get herself to school on time" or "since you drive her to school, maybe you just need to put your foot down and demand that she is on time".  These meetings often brought me as a parent to tears and on more than one occasion I had to make the statement that I was leaving the meeting for a few moments and my hope was that when we resumed we could address the issues at hand without commentary.

I did let DD know I was going to meetings and I asked her to write down anything she thought she would like to say or anything she thought might be helpful to her.  More times than not she came up with nothing because she truly didn't understand herself, but I always gave her the opportunity.  I also sat down with her after the meetings and talked about what was discussed.

As far as testing, DD was put the a barage of tests that took two full days to administer.  They were administered and interpretted by the school psychologist and they ranged from overall IQ tests, to subject specific IQ tests, psychological testing and the one test that I thought was most interesting was a test they gave her answering questions about herself and her behaviors and then I was asked to come in and complete the same test answering questions about DD and they compared the two to see levels of disparity on how DD saw herself and how I perceived her.

Once the testing was done the psychologist sent a copy of the results and findings to me.  I in turn sent copies to my advocate and her P and was amazed at how off base the school was.  They drew conclusions based on her testing that her P thought were ridiculous such as comparing her high IQ to her level of academic production and the conclusion was that she "certainly could do the work and that there was nothing impeding her success.  I had DD's P respond to their findings and make corrections and suggestions.  He delivered this in a most cordial manner and was well received by the committee.  He also continually noted that all though he was willing to allow the district to try to accommodate DD's issues that there needed to be a time limit set and if things had not improved satisfactorily that his recommendation was for residential schooling. He even went as far as listing the residential facilities that he would recommend. This made me very nervous at first but he also explained to me that residential schooling was a possibility but the school district would not want to go down that road so basically they would do everything in their power to accommodate DD's needs.  The other thing that D's P also had me insist upon were monthly "team meetings" that included the school social worker, guidance counselor and DD's teachers.  This I found very helpful since some teachers were able to be more successful in helping DD and they were able to share what they were doing with other faculty members.  It also gave me a chance to update them on the progress or lack of as I was seeing it at home.  I will tell you that a few of the teachers did not like this at all. God forbid they give up there precious prep time but I did not let a month go by without one and I always set a date for the next one at the conclusion of the meeting. I also made sure that at the end of each meeting I let everyone know how thankful I was for their help and I often followed up with actual written Thank You notes to a few of the faculty members who I truly believe wanted to do all in their power to help. 

The only meeting that DD attended was her exit meeting when she was graduating.  The superintendent of Special Education called me and asked me to please have DD come and she assured me that this meeting was to celebrate her success.  She did attend this meeting and although it was a very emotional meeting for all of us it was nice for DD to be praised.

Griz

[twojaybirds]

It is up to you if your dd attends the meeting.  You will be there.

This meeting is just to decide first steps, they will not be writing an IEP and probably not even a 504.

Once it gets to that stage ask for either the 504 or IEP draft to be sent home a week in advance.  That way you can review it with or w/o your dd and get your questions/thoughts together.

The possible upside of your dd being there is she will learn how to start to advocate for herself.

good luck

[qcarolr]

The possible upside of your dd being there is she will learn how to start to advocate for herself.

This is a key piece for our adolescent children. It is hard if they look to others to solve all their problems for them, or place all the blame away from themselves. I am in great sadness for my DD26 that we all were so unaware of many things when she was in high school. No promises things would have been better now.

Sounds like you have support of those on your D's team away from school. This will be so helpful in these school meetings and assessments.

qcr  

[Sun Dogs]

Had the SIT meeting on Wednesday and team decided to pursue the evaluation.  YES  this is also progress!  So relieved about that.  We meet again at the end of May to review the results of the evaluation and then proceed with a plan for fall so we are all ready for the start of the new school year. 

Here are a few things I have learned which I think might help others.  It has taken me a long time to understand how this all works so if I can save someone else the trouble, then it's worth it.

BPD is an emotional disorder and emotional disorders are eligible for special education services under IDEA or the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act.  If all else fails, it can be included in an "other" category (called OHI for short I believe, pronounced o-high).

If you have stigma for "mental illness" or "special education," I kindly suggest you let that go in the best interest of your child.  And your child, too.  "No, you're not dumb.  We don't think you're stupid. We do think that you are not learning.  There is a difference between intelligence and learning.  And we think your anxiety, depression, and BPD are making it hard for you to learn."

You as a parent CAN request an evaluation for special education services.  This is called a referral and is more typically made by a teacher or school counselor.  The reason we gave is that we are concerned that our daughter's mental health condition is affecting her education progress. We as a team decided not to pursue the 504 plan because our daughter is so lacking in motivation and follow-through which would be necessary for the 504 to succeed.

If you suspect your BPD needs it, send a request in writing to the principal (certified mail ultimately, email at first).  The school must reply and follow-up in writing. 

We next had a team meeting which included a special education child study specialist, school psychologist, therapist, school counselor, teacher, parents, and student.  The situation was discussed at the meeting and decision made to assess or not assess.  If assess, then an evaluation plan is organized as part of the meeting.

Take notes at meetings and compare your notes with printed notes sent by the school and voice any questions you have.  Come prepared to the meeting with immediate and future accommodations your child may need, that is, talk to your child about it in advance and present that.  Someone  gave me a list of possible accommodations I think on this board, and we started with that.  One of you  gave me a list of possible tests to do for BPDs and that was handy because they did not have memory skills and sensory integration on their list, nor the functional behavior assessment. 

Keep a copy of everything and be prepared to advocate strongly for your child's educational needs!  Be vigilant!  Trust your gut if someone is giving you the run-around, and get ready to run around them to someone else who won't put up barriers. 

Thank you all for this help and I will be back when we have some results and share what happens next in this process.     

[Sun Dogs]

We did end up to have our daughter attend the meeting.  She was pretty quiet and when questions were directed to her, gave shrugs and one word answers and slid further and further down her chair that by the end of the meeting I thought she would slide right out and onto  the floor under the table.  So no it was not easy for her but yes she did maintain control of herself.

I do think otherwise it was healthy for her to be there, to meet the two staff who will observe her in class as part of the evaluation and to witness for myself their introductory interactions with her (which was professional and even compassionate).  I think it is good for her to be in the information loop because she absolutely hates surprises and would probably then refuse to participate in any testing or plan that is organized. 

I really like the idea shared that there be celebratory meetings as well as monthly meetings that perhaps she need not attend but at least this initial meeting or two and then annually or at graduation as described if it comes to that.

All of the advice and support you have shown has meant the world to me and I cannot thank you enough for sharing your experience and wisdom.  I am so grateful to have found this board! 

[griz]

Sounds like everything is going really well.  You sure have been a wonderful advocate for  your daughter and once she has some things in place hopefully you will see some great success shortly following.  I absolutely LOVE your line :  If you have stigma for "mental illness" or "special education," I kindly suggest you let that go in the best interest of your child.  And your child, too.  "No, you're not dumb.  We don't think you're stupid. We do think that you are not learning.  There is a difference between intelligence and learning.  And we think your anxiety, depression, and BPD are making it hard for you to learn.".  Once I learned to let go of this I was able to be a better advocate for my DD.

Let us know how things are going.

So happy for you and your DD.

Griz