She would have struggled massively if we'd gotten married in May and she followed through in moving across the country with me away from her codependent mother. This was always going to happen, and I suppose I should be thankful in a sense that she painted me black and cut off contact and jumped immediately to a new guy before we got married or had kids.
Yep. I didn't know she had BPD, so I was playing the "what if" game for years. At the time, I thought she treated me in the most brutal way possible. But then you read the stories of the protracted struggles and it's staggering what some people have been through.
But the truth is, treating me so poorly might have been the most humane thing that she could have done. She hurt me so badly (and violated my inherent sense of morality so completely) that when she tried to contact me again a year later, there was no chance of starting it all over again.
Had she not waited so long, I probably would have done anything to be with her.