Just wondering...

[bruceli]

My BPDw usually has her dysregulated blow-outs at bed time so as making it difficult to leave the house and return later.  Has anyone else encountered this?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[briefcase]

Yes, its fairly common.   

[Mara2]

Yup- seems we always had a blow out when I felt trapped. 

[Mono No Aware]

Saturday night 10:00pm to 11:30pm, destroying my sitting in bed with a single glass of wine and a car magazine wind-down time. I refused to participate in a circular entrapment argument... .  she left 3 times but never left the driveway.

Monday morning 2:ish am to ?:? am, destroying my sleep. I could barely stay awake for the abuse. Still a bit groggy now.


I would not start down the path of thinking that they intentionally time their BPD-havior to lessen our chances of escape. That would infer them employing logistics with their mis-directed malice, and all their logic is tangled up in emotional debris and baggage.

Remember, these episodes are not planned - they are triggered.

IMO, perhaps night and bedtime are hard for BPDs. Sleeping in the same bed is such a trust thing, and the lonely dark is our first fear as infants.

[bruceli]

Saturday night 10:00pm to 11:30pm, destroying my sitting in bed with a single glass of wine and a car magazine wind-down time. I refused to participate in a circular entrapment argument... .  she left 3 times but never left the driveway.


IMO, perhaps night and bedtime are hard for BPDs. Sleeping in the same bed is such a trust thing, and the lonely dark is our first fear as infants.

Mine has been Sunday night at around 10.  As for the sleeping in bed... .  My BPDw has actually said that.  Fear of closeness/intimacy and having been single for 15 years.