urgent going to snap

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I am going to snap.  She is sending me messages and seducing another guy at the same time.

I want to reply to her email.  Tell her she is not my friend.  Tell her i know everything.  Tell her to leave me the hit alone.  I want to rage at her. 

I'm going to snap.  I'm going to write this email. 

Is this going to hurt me?

She's a master of vengeance.  vindictive.  She'll find some way to hurt me.  To use it against me.

UGH I CANNOT WIN.  THE ONLY WAY I WIN IS COMPLETE DETACHMENT.

I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER.

[PhoenixRising15]

I am going to snap.  She is sending me messages and seducing another guy at the same time.

I want to reply to her email.  Tell her she is not my friend.  Tell her i know everything.  Tell her to leave me the hit alone.  I want to rage at her. 

I'm going to snap.  I'm going to write this email. 

Is this going to hurt me?

She's a master of vengeance.  vindictive.  She'll find some way to hurt me.  To use it against me.

UGH I CANNOT WIN.  THE ONLY WAY I WIN IS COMPLETE DETACHMENT.

I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER.

[turtle]

UGH I CANNOT WIN.  THE ONLY WAY I WIN IS COMPLETE DETACHMENT.

There is NO winning.  Not for you, not for her.

What can you do right now to remove yourself from this situation for a bit? 

I thought you had blocked her.  Can you do that again and get back to NO CONTACT?

turtle

[Ironmanrises]

She is trying to provoke you into responding to her... .

That is what she wants... .

Any reply to her... .

Even a negative one... .

Will open the door to her just enough... .

To come flooding back into your life.

You can see how appalling her behavior is... .

I know this really hurts to endure... .

Close your email/phone down for a few hours... .

If possible... .

So you can reestablish your equilibrium.

We are here for you, Questionning.

You are not alone.

[PhoenixRising15]

I stupidly unblocked her, thinking I'd rather see what she sends me and delete it.

She is blocked again.

I've calmed myself down.  Had to take some medication.

I'm not proud.  I'm going to drink tonight.  It's something I havent done in a while.

She is trying to provoke me.  And she has moved on.  After I checked her social media.  She's already moved on to her next victim.

It's as if this stupid poem was her way of saying I've moved on, without ever acknowledging she'd hurt me.

I'm not her friend.

I'm not her lover.

I do not like her.

I do not ever want to hear from her again.

Originally, I'd hoped that she would get better.  Get therapy.  Ditch the drugs.

Nothing changes.

She is a vortex down into spiritual and physical death.

I must run, as fast and as far from her as I can.  Those were the words of advice of my grandmother.

She will only hurt me.

She will only hurt me.

She will only hurt me.

That is what I must remember.

She will only hurt me.

She will only hurt me.

She will only hurt me.

QF signing off.

[Ironmanrises]

Hang in there man.

All us fellow nons are here... .

On your side.

[Johan]

the advice i seen on here many months later was too late... .

i had emailed, raged etc.

be strong QF.  even when i was on here 1st my heart and head i assumed took over.

looking back the people who have done this and knwo alot more obviously know more.

it's why im ready for any recycle happens etc. before this forum i would have jumped in.

thankfully i found this site, even though was 2 late for the mistaking emails etc, it wasn't to late, infact it saved my sanity and i don't know what else and don't want to think about it.

also drinking is ok in moderation... .it is a depressant so make sure it's not alone and with people you have fun with.

[DragoN]

I'm going to snap.  I'm going to write this email.

Is this going to hurt me?

If you write it, don't send it. Often simply writing it out helps to let off some of the frustration and hurt. I have countless such writings.

She will not understand, empathize, nothing. It would at best be ignored, or she would twist it back on you as an emotional weapon to cut you even deeper.

I know this hurts like nothing else.

[eeyore]

Great advice from others.  I'm sorry I'm late in replying.  ((hugs))

[Clearmind]

You have done well to step back!

QF, this person cannot provide you with what you need even if you did reach out. Find solice in others who you trust and admire - she aint it!

Take care and begin to change your perception of who this person is - she is not who you think she is.

[Bach Cantatas]

I am going to snap.  She is ... .

... .HER I HATE HER.

Do not send anything to anybody until 24 hours after composing a message. I find that this often takes the sting out of my feelings when the message is negative and gives me the chance to erase it without delivering myself up to subsequent regrets. Reassess the contents of the message then and make a further decision. Remember that we do not have to do anything immediately and in fact instant communication has as many pitfalls as advantages. Remember the adage " Marry in haste and repent in leisure" ?

Keep returning to this board and reading the lessons, accounts posted and the advice given. They are invaluable!

[Surnia]

How are you today, QuestioningFaith?

[PhoenixRising15]

I'm hurt. 

I'm hurt that she has used every tool available in her emotional arsenal to try to make me jealous.

I figured her out.

I leave her, or she even gets a hint of me leaving, she does everything she can to make me jealous.  Everything.  Uses my own worst fears, which i told her, against me.

Literally, everything played out exactly as I told her I didn't want it to.

And she crawls back saying I want my best friend back, my lover.  I want it to just be simple as I love him and he loves me.

I'm hurt that she had an emotional affair and then ended up leaving me for him and claiming to be sorry.

I'm hurt.

I'm trying not to ruminate on her.  Trying not to figure her behavior out, because the more i do, the sadder and more frustrated i get.

Instead, I'm just repeating in my head, "letting go will let me be happy"

I can't help but feel jealous, and i know its silly.  Her stupid facebook life is glamourous and everyone oohs and aahs, and that's the person I almost wish I was with.  But I know the truth.  I know the mask.  I can see the unhappiness, the addict, the witch, the twisted narcissistic vindictive person beneath the sweet girl next door smile.

I want no part of that.  It was stupid to look at her social media.  Not a mistake I will make again.

[WalrusGumboot]

But I know the truth.  I know the mask.  I can see the unhappiness, the addict, the witch, the twisted narcissistic vindictive person beneath the sweet girl next door smile.

Try to remember this when you start having thoughts of missing her. Print it and paste it on your computer monitor or somewhere else where you can see it often.

Your hurt, angry, insulted, and feel used, and it's OK. Each one of us that left went through this. It's a phase, but the goal is to make sure it is just a phase and does not leave bitterness that won't go away. Complete and total NC is step one (no exceptions!).  Time is your best friend here. The counter is set back to zero when NC is broken. It's ticking now so let it keep ticking. A year ago I was an angry, bitter mess. I've come a LONG way since then.

[Ironmanrises]

I'm hurt. 

I'm hurt that she has used every tool available in her emotional arsenal to try to make me jealous.

I figured her out.

I leave her, or she even gets a hint of me leaving, she does everything she can to make me jealous.  Everything.  Uses my own worst fears, which i told her, against me.

Literally, everything played out exactly as I told her I didn't want it to.

And she crawls back saying I want my best friend back, my lover.  I want it to just be simple as I love him and he loves me.

I'm hurt that she had an emotional affair and then ended up leaving me for him and claiming to be sorry.

I'm hurt.

I'm trying not to ruminate on her.  Trying not to figure her behavior out, because the more i do, the sadder and more frustrated i get.

Instead, I'm just repeating in my head, "letting go will let me be happy"

I can't help but feel jealous, and i know its silly.  Her stupid facebook life is glamourous and everyone oohs and aahs, and that's the person I almost wish I was with.  But I know the truth.  I know the mask.  I can see the unhappiness, the addict, the witch, the twisted narcissistic vindictive person beneath the sweet girl next door smile.

I want no part of that.  It was stupid to look at her social media.  Not a mistake I will make again.

I know you are hurting.

Any exposure to them... .

Is toxic to us.

The good thing at least... .

Is that you are aware of this.

You know she isnt good for you at all.

Keep resisting her... .

That is your only chance.

We are here for you man.

In bold.

What is scary... .

And sad... .

Is that in her entire circle of people in her life... .

You are most likely... .

The only person to see past all that facade she displays.

It is no different with mine.

At the very end of both rounds... .

It was the same exact performance... .

Mine displayed too.

And i was the only person who saw the real truth.

Stay strong brother.