On another Post (I believe the recent one on dreams) I posed the question. Could we all possibly be suffering from PTSD? Something is obviously really going on here I said. I and others were describing flashbacks, terrible dreams, anxiety ... .I made the statement that i just can't seem to shake this. I have been feeling more and more that this is probably the case. Right away there were several that chimed in that they in fact have been diagnosed with PTSD.
I brought this up to a friend of mine tonight and tried to explain in more detail what I know about the disorder and what I had been through and explained that I realize that it may sound extreme or exaggerated but this was no ordinary relationship break up. I am positive I had been in a relationship with someone with a mental illness. A personality disorder. Whether it is BPD or NPD or both they are both cluster b disorders so are closely related. This must and has had severe effects on me. I have more and more come to the conclusion that mine is more NPD. I have done a lot do research on both as you all have and I believe one of the differences seems to be motive and intentions. I know from my circumstances now that it is over and I have dissected all the details and the horrific way he ended it that his behavior was dileberate and thought out. Yes he has a disorder that effects his behavior but I believe he absolutely knows that what he did was wrong and it's affects. I have told him in texts about how this has effected me and that I am suffering and he could not care less now that I no longer serve his purpose and someone else does. He even tried to have me arrested for some texts. Talk about adding insult to injury. How many times could I have had him arrested for his violence and twice assaulting me but never did. ( I should have of course)
Most think of PTSD for those that have been to war or in a horrific accident. Certainly not a relationship! However as we all know our relationships were like a war zone. Mainly a one sided one. Mind games, gaslighting, I love you one minute, I hate you the next, rage, violence in some cases, silent treatments(ostracizing which they say is one of the worst forms of abuse) ... . What could be worse than someone you love devastating your emotions and your mind and abrubtly discarding you cruelly for someone else as if you didn't even exist and did not mean a thing. Not to mention unraveling the lies etc. and the sustained abuse.
Tonight after talking to my friend I once again, as I have done many times, googled the effects of narcissistic abuse and came across this article and website. Some of you may have already seen it and there are others out there too but this focuses on the victims and effects mainly. I think worthwhile to read.
Narcisstic abuse is on the rise and therapists are used to focusing on the narcissists in both training and practice but are just not prepared nor understand the real effects that it has on its victims. They are now starting to understand and looking at narcissistic abuse syndrome as a real problem but it is still in its infancy.
I think if we do not take what has happened to us seriously and heal properly we could be effected for years to come. I do not think that is an overstatement at all. "Just getting over it" is not the answer.
www.narcissisticbehavior.net
