Decree: My body is a treasure and will be treated as such

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

New decree: My body is a treasure and will be treated as such. I take full responsibility to make sure of it. I am announcing it here to get it on record.

Yes, my body is a treasure with my small stretched boobs, stretched pouch, stupid red spots, splotchy skin, big nose, zits, gray hair, hair in certain places, wrinkles, and crooked teeth. As a whole package, I am perfect and just as I am intended to be. Although my ex thinks it is impossible to find a man who agrees and laughed at the thought, I beg to differ. To all the people who think I am crazy, it will never happen - agreeing with my ex... . you'll all be fools and wish you had what I have when it happens.

To my ex and if he can't wake up, any potential suitors:

If you can't see my beauty and perfection once you are able to see my whole picture, then I am sorry but move on. If you say you love me but think you'll still watch porn, then I am sorry but move on. If you say you love me but think you'll still get a hard-on, masturbate to, or crave sex with anyone else, then I am sorry but move on. If you are not satisfied with me sexually unless I operate like a porn star, then I am sorry but move on. If you say you love me but think you are cool by talking about hot chicks with your buddies, then I am sorry but move on.

I understand we will both appreciate the beauty of others and may even admire it. When you wake up and see me in my perfection, with all my flaws, share love with me and decide I am the one, you won't be interested in someone else emotionally on that level or sexually. If times get bad, you will come to me to make it better long before considering other options. If this doesn't makes sense to you, then I am sorry but move on.

[dontknow2]

New decree: My body is a treasure and will be treated as such. I take full responsibility to make sure of it. I am announcing it here to get it on record.

Yes, my body is a treasure with my small stretched boobs, stretched pouch, stupid red spots, splotchy skin, big nose, zits, gray hair, hair in certain places, wrinkles, and crooked teeth. As a whole package, I am perfect and just as I am intended to be. Although my ex thinks it is impossible to find a man who agrees and laughed at the thought, I beg to differ. To all the people who think I am crazy, it will never happen - agreeing with my ex... . you'll all be fools and wish you had what I have when it happens.

To my ex and if he can't wake up, any potential suitors:

If you can't see my beauty and perfection once you are able to see my whole picture, then I am sorry but move on. If you say you love me but think you'll still watch porn, then I am sorry but move on. If you say you love me but think you'll still get a hard-on, masturbate to, or crave sex with anyone else, then I am sorry but move on. If you are not satisfied with me sexually unless I operate like a porn star, then I am sorry but move on. If you say you love me but think you are cool by talking about hot chicks with your buddies, then I am sorry but move on.

I understand we will both appreciate the beauty of others and may even admire it. When you wake up and see me in my perfection, with all my flaws, share love with me and decide I am the one, you won't be interested in someone else emotionally on that level or sexually. If times get bad, you will come to me to make it better long before considering other options. If this doesn't makes sense to you, then I am sorry but move on.

[myself]

Love this post! You're being Real! It's Beautiful!

[RecycledNoMore]

You are a treasure, Im working toward trying to feel that way about my own body, its such a strong positive statement thanks.

[ucmeicu2]

dontknow2, ummm, have you been peeping thru my bathroom window at night? 

seriously, beautiful writing.  probably the most beautiful, uplifting, inspiring post i've read since i got here ~ and i've read a lot of wonderful posts by a lot of inspiring people!

thank you.  my saggy boobs, loose 'mommy pouch' on ma belly, stretch marks, and all the other imperfections i've spent a ridiculous waste of time worrying on, we all thank you madame.   

[Surnia]

Oh, yes, dontknow2!

You are awesome. 

I am struggling my self a lot with it. Not in a rs, just in daily life. I have those strong moments like you, and more often than not I think differently to myself. 

My goal is steady practice - there are those moments, for example when the self criticism kicks in for me. Entering a room, entering the dresser in the public pool, looking at yourself in the mirror. I try to catch the inner voice (huh, my hair is scraggy, isn't it?) and replace it with something more supporting.

[dontknow2]

Thank you all for your support and encouragement! So glad to hear it helped you too.

If I don't see my beauty, I figure its a lot to ask someone else to do it.

Surnia, my self-doubt gets louder when comparing myself too... I still switch the TV channel if I see cleavage because it stings  :'(. That said, my inner put-down voice is lower in volume and less frequent as I get stronger. This has been a very rough topic for me so I brought out the big guns to survive.

Biology concept form fits function helped me a little. Maybe my body is meant to be this way? For example, maybe my words are more important and other people need to feel comfortable around me so they can hear my words more intently (i.e. a women feels more adequate around me cuz my boobs are so small)? How cool is it if I was built for much more than sexual desire? Why would I be upset about that?

When I look at my kids, I see perfection amidst their zits, chubbiness, odd shapes, etc... I know this is different than sexual attraction but it really helped me see a different perspective. It is more about the whole. I at least can get the concept why a true couple connection goes beyond sexual attraction and where making love can come into play... . So, I'm gonna keep fighting for it  

I wish you all the very best. I hope all of us can see our beauty way more often than not.  

[ucmeicu2]

Biology concept form fits function helped me a little. Maybe my body is meant to be this way? For example, maybe my words are more important and other people need to feel comfortable around me so they can hear my words more intently (i.e. a women feels more adequate around me cuz my boobs are so small)? How cool is it if I was built for much more than sexual desire? Why would I be upset about that?

oh my goodness, i hate it when we take the brainwashing hook, line and sinker.  dontknow2, let me cue you in:  many people find small breasts more appealing ~ yes, sexual ~ than large ones.  i've personally known several men that do. 

[dontknow2]

oh my goodness, i hate it when we take the brainwashing hook, line and sinker.  dontknow2, let me cue you in:  many people find small breasts more appealing ~ yes, sexual ~ than large ones.  i've personally known several men that do. 

ucmeicu2,

I like the way you think. OK, you got me. I hear you some men like small boobs. Yet, I grew up with 3 brothers, a husband for 20 years, now even my teenage son who talks about large breasts like they are the holy grail... . that is on top of everywhere I look confirming the same thing. So, I should get a free pass at least until I reach enlightenment anyway  .

That said, it's unrealistic to think all traits of SO will be sexually attractive to me and figure the same for him. My point was that love and seeing the whole package overrides that.

To show my gratitude to you though, I will plant a seed in my thoughts that someone exists out there who would find my boobs sexually attractive. 

[Monarch Butterfly]

Thank you... .

Thank you so much for posting this. It brought tears, but in a good way.

I am going to print this out and read it too myself every day! God... . I was made out to feel like trash for the 17 years and now I look in the mirror and see nothing. I see hurt, pain, insecurity and fear. I know there is a beautiful woman in here somewhere... . I just cant see her quite yet.

Maybe if I could just stop playing the rewind button of his comments I could hear her say something.

[dontknow2]

Monarch,

So glad this post was touching. It felt good writing it.

You are beautiful.

It feels impossible after being torn down for so long but WE have to see our beauty.

Yes, please let the beautiful Monarch speak to you in the mirror even if its just a distant whisper. If you hear words in your head to put her down when she starts, fight and keep fighting. 

[fromheeltoheal]

Seems to be a girl's party, but I'm crashing anyway.

I read a study recently that concluded the more financial and career stability a man has, the smaller his preference in breasts.  Psychologically it concluded that men with financial insecurity found large breasts attractive because subconsciously they were suckling them, returning to their origins for sustenance, and the bigger the better.  Whatever.

A-cups all the way for me; women with small breasts always seem smarter and more ambitious.  I'm not really clear on why I make that correlation, but I'm positive I don't care why.

[RecycledNoMore]

Seems to be a girl's party, but I'm crashing anyway.

I read a study recently that concluded the more financial and career stability a man has, the smaller his preference in breasts.  Psychologically it concluded that men with financial insecurity found large breasts attractive because subconsciously they were suckling them, returning to their origins for sustenance, and the bigger the better.  Whatever.

A-cups all the way for me; women with small breasts always seem smarter and more ambitious.  I'm not really clear on why I make that correlation, but I'm positive I don't care why.

Really?

Seems to be a girl's party, but I'm crashing anyway.

I read a study recently that concluded the more financial and career stability a man has, the smaller his preference in breasts.  Psychologically it concluded that men with financial insecurity found large breasts attractive because subconsciously they were suckling them, returning to their origins for sustenance, and the bigger the better.  Whatever.

A-cups all the way for me; women with small breasts always seem smarter and more ambitious.  I'm not really clear on why I make that correlation, but I'm positive I don't care why.

Really?

Oh god no... .

Im off to wash my mind out with soap.

[dontknow2]

A-cups all the way for me; women with small breasts always seem smarter and more ambitious.

Nice to know body preferences are just as diverse as people. You are the first man I've ever heard say he preferred small boobs. It is nice to hear. I am happy to know some women in the same boat have actually been with others who didn't promote a feeling of inadequacy. So, thank you for crashing the party   

To touch again on the higher level notion though... . I do sense when two know and truly love each other, they will see each other in a new light not bound by body preferences and sex becomes something altogether different. In the meantime, I appreciate you confirming the tactical notion that some prefer what I have   

[fromheeltoheal]

I know a lot of men who prefer 'smaller' women, but the big boob lovers are usually louder, and the media is a factor, as usual.

And I agree: in a loving relationship that includes deep emotional bonds and true intimacy, physical appearance and attributes are almost irrelevant, in fact the most important thing is being physically healthy, whatever that looks like, so we can have the energy and feel-good to show up in the relationship all the way.  I've spoken to many men who say the only ugly thing about their mate is her opinion of her body, and she should stop it.