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Author Topic: Why do BPD's love calling the police?  (Read 2156 times)
LilMissSunshine
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« on: January 16, 2014, 05:28:08 PM »

Another thread I've been reading inspired me to ask this question:  Why do BPD's love calling the police?  My exBPDbf did this often enough.  Not much warning, he would flip, throw my stuff outside then threaten and/or call them.  He did this many times.  The last time, he had just come home from surgery.  He asked that I bring him some medical supplies he needed to care for his incision.  I brought him over $60 worth of supplies.  Didn't take long before he flipped me black (long story), picked up the bags, threw them outside and called the police.  He told them I was "stealing" from him.  I sat on his back porch, waiting for the police to arrive.  You see, I had done nothing wrong and I wanted the police to know that.  When they arrived they looked in the bags and saw the medical supplies.  Then I showed them the text msgs where he had asked me to bring him those items.  The officer's knew him well and couldn't stand him or the BS he would pull on me all the time.  This last time they very compassionately "begged" me to stay away from him.  To block him with every means available so that he could not contact me.  Asked me what someone like me was doing with someone like him.  (I hadn't heard the term BPD yet).  I asked them if they had ever experienced a person who behaved so erratically before.  They smiled at each other and said, Oh yes.  Then they issued him a sumons for filing a false report.

Anyway, why do they love calling the police?  Who the he. wants the police involved in their lives?  Don't they see how much they are embarrassing themselves?  Do they even care?
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delusionalxox
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« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2014, 05:31:06 PM »

I think it's the drama and also something to do with trying to call on authority to 'protect' them and 'prove' you are wrong/attacking them/trying to destroy them etc.

I think it has to do with their damaged relation to authority/protection/parental power.

I was threatened with the police for 'stalking' ex when I kept trying to get him to acknowledge I was pregnant. He also made 'referrals' to what he claimed were 'high up' psychiatrists in his home country and made lofty diagnoses of me. He comes from a rather paranoid culture and was heavily supported in pathologising me and portraying me as a dreadful danger to his life and limb. I think he liked that.
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myself
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« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2014, 05:44:28 PM »

It's a way for them to feel they have control.
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seeking balance
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« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2014, 05:47:02 PM »

Anyway, why do they love calling the police?  Who the he! wants the police involved in their lives?  Don't they see how much they are embarrassing themselves?  Do they even care?

Easy Triangulation - read more about the  Karpman triangle in other threads (use search).

A common coping skill to a victim mentality - victim (BPD), abuser (you), rescuer (police)

This is what makes the legal system such a nightmare in divorce.

Perhaps when you are wondering the "whys" - looking at the "what maladpative coping mechanism was triggered" can help when trying to sort out the facts to detach.

If you have not checked out the posts from member 2010 - you might want to... . a lot of really good facts about how the disorder shows itself.

Cheers,

SB
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Perfidy
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« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2014, 06:00:15 PM »

I personally don't care what twisted reason a person uses or what their state of mental health is if I'm not threatening and not being violent or aggressive and in no violation of any laws or anyone else's rights and they call the police on me I will never speak to that person again. My freedom means more to me than anything else in this lifetime. That happened one time. I left for good the same day. It won't happen twice.
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santa
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« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2014, 06:08:11 PM »

Because the police are stupid and will believe anything they tell them.
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delusionalxox
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« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2014, 06:11:50 PM »

Santa I suspect that is more often true when the caller is a woman as the police are trained to take reports of male on female violence seriously.

I used to be such a radical feminist before I found out about BPD and saw the evidence for myself of men in particular dragged through police and court processes out of sheer lies.

I think male BPDs would like to do the same (mine sure would have) but realise they don't stand much chance of appearing threatened by a woman half their size. However, mine always threatened to report me for 'stalking' and harassment etc. As far as I know, he didn't.
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State85
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« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2014, 06:20:23 PM »

I called the police to come to my house when my exgf was not there. This was after we broke up. I wanted it documented of the damage in my house, a report covering me in case she showed up in the future... . documentation. I described the abuse, verbal and physical. I showed him the damage in my house. He asked why I never called when this was happening, I didn't answer. What I wanted to say is because I would have been arrested. All she would have to do is lie about something, and I'm in jail.

She never threatened to call them on me... . no reason to. But I also think she didn't cause there is something in her past that the authorities know about, previous arrest, I don't know. I would threaten to call them and she would get really upset saying... . no, please don't, I don't need that.

She doesn't know I filed a report with them... . this I keep in my back pocket in case she shows up some night... .
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ogopogodude
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« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2014, 06:21:54 PM »

WOW, ... . I just started to laugh when I saw this thread! It brought back memories of my nutty wife standing at the phone saying "I'm gonna call, ... . i'm gonna call... . " then she would press the 9, ... . then the 1, ... . and then she would press the 1, ... . then she would hang up and think that everything was okay. Well, ... . my wife was soo stupid in that as soon as you press the 3rd digit, ... the detachment is already alerted. Then we would get a call back and then the police would come out regardless. That happended on at least three or four times.
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irishmarmot
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« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2014, 08:53:04 PM »

When the cop delivered the DV order to my house, he said.  "If I ever get called to your house again and you are with that woman, I'm going to lock you up!''  For being stupid" 
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Waifed
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« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2014, 09:02:49 PM »

Anger, control, or fear of being exposed.
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santa
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« Reply #11 on: January 16, 2014, 09:18:08 PM »

When the cop delivered the DV order to my house, he said.  "If I ever get called to your house again and you are with that woman, I'm going to lock you up!''  For being stupid" 

That's awesome.
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arn131arn
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« Reply #12 on: January 16, 2014, 10:16:55 PM »

Anger, control, or fear of being exposed.

What?  It's in the first chapter of their handbook
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Mutt
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« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2014, 10:57:54 PM »

If you have not checked out the posts from member 2010 - you might want to... . a lot of really good facts about how the disorder shows itself.

Thanks for posting this SB. I've been reading 2010's posts for much of the night, very insightful stuff about the disorder.
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santa
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« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2014, 11:23:12 PM »

If you have not checked out the posts from member 2010 - you might want to... . a lot of really good facts about how the disorder shows itself.

Thanks for posting this SB. I've been reading 2010's posts for much of the night, very insightful stuff about the disorder.

I'd like to read it too. Where can I find it?
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Mutt
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« Reply #15 on: January 17, 2014, 07:12:49 AM »

Members tab at the top => members search

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?action=profile;u=38193;sa=showPosts
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singlemom

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« Reply #16 on: January 17, 2014, 07:26:07 AM »

I think it's because they are so used to having the police called on them.  If not by you, then by their parents or some other person from their past.  We called the cops on my daughter several times, at first on the advice of her psychiatrist, and later for various other reasons.  It's sort of a validation that you are right if the police come and back you up.  Unfortunately for them, the police rarely see things their way, so it doesn't work out for them, but they just file that away as another reason to be angry at the world, and the next time they go and do it again.
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Amina

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« Reply #17 on: May 20, 2023, 07:16:46 AM »

My BPD unblocked my number at my lunch hour and when I tried to call him back it was blocked again.  Then we were hanging out, and he wanted me to climb the fire escape ladder and get on the roof with him.  I did not want to.  I laid down in his bed instead because i was tired and hungry and had too much to drink and had been working all week, and he called the police and threw my purse in the street for no reason except I wanted to lie down and be calm and happy with him.
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