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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Find myself hyper-aware of other peoples moods and reactions now  (Read 358 times)
SeekingAdviceinCa
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« on: January 26, 2014, 12:57:54 AM »

Having been with my uBPDwife for 14 years I think I've developed a hyper awareness or hyper vigilance of other peoples moods or reactions.  Not just her, everyone.  I think I find myself more on guard and alert around everyone I'm with for their mood or reaction to things. Am I imagining this?  Anyone else have this experience? 

Thanks everyone. I sincerely appreciate and am thankful to you all.
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Ironmanrises
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2014, 12:59:08 AM »

Yes. Same here. Mine seems to be on overdrive.
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SeekingAdviceinCa
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« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2014, 01:12:42 AM »

Yes. Same here. Mine seems to be on overdrive.

Mine too!  I don't know how to turn it off or get it to normal.  I feel like everyone I'm around I am observing carefully to read their moods or their reaction to what I say or do.
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Ironmanrises
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1774


« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2014, 01:19:16 AM »

Me neither. I mistakenly thought my close friend of having BPD(her behaviors are BPDish) and that resulted from me analyzing everyones behavior around me. Any rejection, any difference in reaction, facial/tone of voice, etc immediately lights up my warning sirens. I hate this. 
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UnLuckyLady
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« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2014, 01:30:54 AM »

Yes, same here. I'm even thinking about past relationships and recalling behaviors... . thinking to myself hmmm... . he might have had Npd, this one might have been Bpd... . Then my mind goes to "holy crap... . I must really attract them to me!"   Would like to think my past and present is all a coincidence, not a pattern  :/
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Surnia
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
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« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2014, 01:44:31 AM »

Its exhausting - I can relate with it.

For me its something I have since childhood. Too much focus on emotions and behaviors from people near me and too less focus on myself. Its daily work to be clear about it. 
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
myself
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« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2014, 02:16:49 AM »

We can put too many walls up, too.

It keeps us frozen in the past, we need to move.

How much self-preservation means you cut yourself off?
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