Welcome to the wonderful world of BPD
. What you describes is pretty typical of what I have experienced. And yes, I agree in that this can be even more draining than the huge blow ups.
As an example, Last weekend was a HUGE blow up every day. But for some reason, I let most of that roll off me. And yesterday, we had a great therapy session together that felt constructive and positive as I started to understand what goes through her mind. She basically apologized for her behavior, admitted it has nothing to do with me or nothing I can fix. And then last night, I fell asleep on the sofa with her laying on me. I woke up, and said I am going to go to bed. She said "Okay, go to bed, I'll be right in." I laid down in bed, and immediately fell asleep. Some time later, I awoke to her screaming at me, because I left her on the sofa with the TV on and didn't wake her to come to bed, apparently because I don't care about her. I said "You told me to go to bed and said you were right behind me, and I fell asleep before I could see that you had not followed me." She was quiet after that. But for some reason, I feel more upset by that than the screaming from over the weekend.