Okay, trying the being friends thing

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Another thing to add, every time I spoke to mine after the b/u she rewrote history a little. All the good times were forgotten instantly, but then gradually she changed the facts in her mind, and eventually implied that I had forced her into sexual things, something so outrageous I pulled her up on it. She had a 'moment' then, where I stood up to her and she disassociated, went silent, knowing she had gone too far. She felt shame. But I knew this was a dangerous path. Especially as a man, you must be cautious - I am sure mine will now be telling people how I beat and abused and maybe even raped her. These are serious accusations. Mine once told me if I hurt her she would call the police and tell them I had child pornography on my computer. It's easy to say, well she's lying, but even the accusation would be enough to seriously disrupt your life - a police investigation, house searched, items seized. Sounds ridiculous? Read the false violence reports on this forum. I laughed at the time, but now I know they are totally capable of any level of vindictiveness - they are genuinely dangerous. Even with nothing to hide, you don't want to incur their wrath. They love the drama, the victim status, but you do not want to be on the receiving end of any such revenge attacks. Get away from them, their ultimate goal is your complete destruction.

[camuse]

Another thing to add, every time I spoke to mine after the b/u she rewrote history a little. All the good times were forgotten instantly, but then gradually she changed the facts in her mind, and eventually implied that I had forced her into sexual things, something so outrageous I pulled her up on it. She had a 'moment' then, where I stood up to her and she disassociated, went silent, knowing she had gone too far. She felt shame. But I knew this was a dangerous path. Especially as a man, you must be cautious - I am sure mine will now be telling people how I beat and abused and maybe even raped her. These are serious accusations. Mine once told me if I hurt her she would call the police and tell them I had child pornography on my computer. It's easy to say, well she's lying, but even the accusation would be enough to seriously disrupt your life - a police investigation, house searched, items seized. Sounds ridiculous? Read the false violence reports on this forum. I laughed at the time, but now I know they are totally capable of any level of vindictiveness - they are genuinely dangerous. Even with nothing to hide, you don't want to incur their wrath. They love the drama, the victim status, but you do not want to be on the receiving end of any such revenge attacks. Get away from them, their ultimate goal is your complete destruction.

[anxiety5]

I told her, I have enough friends. I'm not looking for a friend. I'm looking for what I thought you were. I think a lot of times their narcissistic side thinks you aren't strong, she will just seduce you. It was different for me. I had an ex before her who cheated on me. She was drop dead gorgeous. And she knew that when we broke up, I did not have any contact with her for 7 months. Not one phone call or text. So she KNOWS when I say, I don't want to be your friend, that I mean it.

before breaking up once she said, will you give me another shot sometime in the future? I said, what? if we are both single? She said, no if you are with someone, or whatever too.  This was a great moment for me. It was a chance to put her ego in check and also make her realize I'm NOT the cheating person she made me out to be. (I have NEVER cheated in my life. I don't even talk to other girls when I'm dating someone) I turned to her and said, absolutely not. I don't even know who the person I'll be dating is but I can tell you 100% right now, that I would never do that to her.

This is one of the rare times where that question, and my response went straight to her soul. And it felt good. Especially because it was true.