Hello

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I'm really bad with relationships. I've worked on myself in the past and thought I was "well".   

In 2013 I went from dealing with a sibling(older) that spiraled out of control during the last few years of our parent's lives to seeking solace and respite from an Ex that I didn't know has the same issues. We'd been in a long distance relationship friend's for years and intimate for the past 4. I barely lasted 6 months of living with him. It was truly ironic.

I'm 54 and would like to do better from now on. Not just in regards to significant others but in all relationships. Mostly I want a better relationship with myself.

Honestly, I had no idea about personality disorders until this past summer. I just had two very significant people in my life that seemed quite similar. As far as the ex... I was in my 20's when we divorced. I know it took years to get over him  I was re-married and had two young children before I was no longer angry.  Sis, the relationship was a love/fear one. She was 7 years older and was identified by my previous T as my primary abuser.  There is NC with either person.

Just starting to figure out what it's going to take to heal. The Personal Inventory that was mentioned got my attention. 

[GarnetyPearl]

I'm really bad with relationships. I've worked on myself in the past and thought I was "well".   

In 2013 I went from dealing with a sibling(older) that spiraled out of control during the last few years of our parent's lives to seeking solace and respite from an Ex that I didn't know has the same issues. We'd been in a long distance relationship friend's for years and intimate for the past 4. I barely lasted 6 months of living with him. It was truly ironic.

I'm 54 and would like to do better from now on. Not just in regards to significant others but in all relationships. Mostly I want a better relationship with myself.

Honestly, I had no idea about personality disorders until this past summer. I just had two very significant people in my life that seemed quite similar. As far as the ex... I was in my 20's when we divorced. I know it took years to get over him  I was re-married and had two young children before I was no longer angry.  Sis, the relationship was a love/fear one. She was 7 years older and was identified by my previous T as my primary abuser.  There is NC with either person.

Just starting to figure out what it's going to take to heal. The Personal Inventory that was mentioned got my attention. 

[Mutt]

 

Hi GarnetyPearl,

I would like to welcome you to bpdfamily. You had a   moment when you heard about personality disorders and connected the dots with family members and SO's. You felt isolated and frustrated for many years with the abusive behaviors and the emotional rollercoaster. I'm glad that you have found us.

You have an older sibling and 3 previous SO's in your life that are undiagnosed BPD? Is it your T that hinted at this?

There are other boards as well. As you're already aware there's PI and you need more posts until you can post there. This board is for exe SO's and there's FM or Family Member as well. You can participate in more than one  

[Turkish]

Hello GarnetyPearl

You can certainly join more than one board. If your sis was identified as your primary abuser, then you can receive great support here by members who are also healing from abusive relationships from BPD family members:

[L5]  Coping and Healing from a BPD Parent, Sibling, or In-Law Board

Though we do have members here who seem to just end up in relationships with BPD partners, there are also quite a few of us who come from families where one or more family members exhibited BPD traits while we were growing up. It's the familiarity, and possibly the learned Caretaker traits which may have led many of us here. What has been learned, can be unlearned, and we are all here to support you in this,  GarnetyPearl!

Turkish