Gaslighting - anyone can share their experiences

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I've taken the subject here of a pretty decent book out there on Gaslighting.  I was wondering if anyone can share their experiences with this phenomenon in relation to their BPD, and how they dealt with it (or weren't able to deal with it). More importantly, do you think it's effected the healing process post-BPD with just more toxic junk to have to sort through in your mind.

I know my BPD would gaslight me on a regular basis. At first I had no idea what was going on, but when I came to the conclusion she had a personality disorder and stumbled on Gaslighting I tried to learn as much as possible. I at least got to the point to where I could sense what she was doing and send it right back at her (not always).  It's a very draining and dangerous game they play when they are in that mode and just another reason why they are so toxic in my opinion.

[Raybo48]

I've taken the subject here of a pretty decent book out there on Gaslighting.  I was wondering if anyone can share their experiences with this phenomenon in relation to their BPD, and how they dealt with it (or weren't able to deal with it). More importantly, do you think it's effected the healing process post-BPD with just more toxic junk to have to sort through in your mind.

I know my BPD would gaslight me on a regular basis. At first I had no idea what was going on, but when I came to the conclusion she had a personality disorder and stumbled on Gaslighting I tried to learn as much as possible. I at least got to the point to where I could sense what she was doing and send it right back at her (not always).  It's a very draining and dangerous game they play when they are in that mode and just another reason why they are so toxic in my opinion.

[Deeno02]

I've taken the subject here of a pretty decent book out there on Gaslighting.  I was wondering if anyone can share their experiences with this phenomenon in relation to their BPD, and how they dealt with it (or weren't able to deal with it). More importantly, do you think it's effected the healing process post-BPD with just more toxic junk to have to sort through in your mind.

I know my BPD would gaslight me on a regular basis. At first I had no idea what was going on, but when I came to the conclusion she had a personality disorder and stumbled on Gaslighting I tried to learn as much as possible. I at least got to the point to where I could sense what she was doing and send it right back at her (not always).  It's a very draining and dangerous game they play when they are in that mode and just another reason why they are so toxic in my opinion.

I knew nothing of this at all when I got involved with my gf. Its only been since the end of the relationship that Ive put it together. Had numerous things happen. The constant threat of treat me special or lose me threat, yelled at for trying to help her serve her kids food, yelled at for trying to put a trash bag in the can, yelled at for taking trash out, all lead to me being devalued to where I thought I was the crazy one. I still feel like that even though Im in therapy and second guess myself all the time.

I remember one time I was to take her son to football practice and I ran into her neighbor who also had a son in football. She volunteered to take her son as well to give me a break. I accepted but I wanted to double check with gf to see if it was cool. I couldnt reach her, so I stuck to taking her son. a few hours later, I get a call from her saying that she had talked to her neighbor and that it seemed I was put out by taking her son to practice (which by the way, I had been doing for weeks already). I told her what had happened, it wasnt a big deal, I had it covered. Her response? One of you is lying. Hmm. Neighbor of 14 years vs boyfriend of 1 yr. I knew whom she thought was lying.

Always said to me how she thought I felt her and her 5 kids were pains in the asses and I had better things to do than be with her. I heard it so often, I guess I did start to believe it, especially as I was being cut out of her schedule I used to help with. I would ask all the time, please let me help, please. Response? I got it.

Told constantly I was incapable of love, emotionless, not lovable.

It has affected my healing. My self worth is ___, my thought process have been affected, I still second guess myself and Im so beat down, I dont say much anymore. History? Im a 26 year Navy veteran who served in Special Operations and numerous combat zones, and I have been reduced to ___ by this woman in a year and a half.

[Skip]

Always said to me how she thought I felt her and her 5 kids were pains in the asses and I had better things to do than be with her. I heard it so often, I guess I did start to believe it... .

Not sure this is gas lighting.  First, because gaslighting refers to a premeditated and symptomatic system of selling someone on a false reality using third parties and other (e.g. mechanical) proof sources - an intricate con.  Second, because the concept of gaslighting has is mostly urban legend / junk psychology. It's like the 3 second rule for food that drops on the floor.  Sounds good if you don't think about it.  

Do you think she knew this was false but was saying it to brain wash you, or is it that she believed that it was true?  Five kids are a lot of work no matter how much we love them or spin it. Did her parents treat her this way?

Told constantly I was incapable of love, emotionless, not lovable.

Horrible.  We read a lot about this on the Coping/Healing board - how these bad family dynamics are learned and passed down.

It's helps to see it for what it is.

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

Quite often I would press the door bell and she would not answer - and so I would assume the bell was switched off.  I would wait a few minutes and press the bell a few times.  Finally I would send a text saying I was heading home since she was not in.  She would then open the door.  She always said the doorbell was on and that I hadn't pressed it.  I just saw it as yet another one of her silly games.

[GoodThingsToCome]

Quite often I would press the door bell and she would not answer - and so I would assume the bell was switched off.  I would wait a few minutes and press the bell a few times.  Finally I would send a text saying I was heading home since she was not in.  She would then open the door.  She always said the doorbell was on and that I hadn't pressed it.  I just saw it as yet another one of her silly games.

LOL (sorry don't mean to be insensitive), but that is some crazy s**t. I'm at the point now where I just have to laugh at the crazy stuff that goes on with these people. My ex never played games such as that, but she drove me to the point of me starting to doubt my own reality and judgement.

If I didn't have such an amazing, supportive family, I don't know where the f**k I'd be right now... .because you need a stable support system to pull you from out of the s**t-storm and to normalize you to some extent. I just had to keep reminding myself that I knew the facts, and when I went through the facts in my mind, I knew her distortions made no sense at all. Having said all of that, it is an incredibly exhausting exercise... .you can't even argue (even calmly) with them as they actually don't believe in the real facts.

But whatever, that is in the past for me now... .I've had enough of craziness.

[Raybo48]

Told constantly I was incapable of love, emotionless, not lovable.

Deeno02:  I got told this for nearly our entire rs... .Almost daily so you are not alone.  She gaslighted me all over the place, but being told specifically what you just said in that one sentence caused my self worth to go to Sh** as well.   I hope you heal up well and march to your own tune again, you deserve it man!

[Recooperating]

Told constantly I was incapable of love, emotionless, not lovable.

Deeno02:  I got told this for nearly our entire rs... .Almost daily so you are not alone.  She gaslighted me all over the place, but being told specifically what you just said in that one sentence caused my self worth to go to Sh** as well.   I hope you heal up well and march to your own tune again, you deserve it man!

Yep same here... .You're cold and distant, you want me to die, you wouldnt morn my death, you dont care about me... .Bla bla bla. It use to hurt me to the core. F*cked up accusations... .

As far as gaslighting he was lord and master in turning and twisting things. Taking part of the truth spin it around and make his own version of it. Things I would have said one would be twisted around and he would make it to be something completely different. Very frustration. He never listened to understand, he listened to feed his abandonment fears. He could take a sentence like: "I'm really tired from work" in to: "Im tired of you" he would flip in a sec.! Then drain me some more trying to explain to him that what I had said had nothing to do with him.

And we would have yet another nice rage on out hands that could last for hours.

Personal favorite was the threaths... .If you dont answer your phone right now Ill leave you! Or If you do that I will kill myself! He actually pretended he had commited suicide over the phone. I called the police in the country he was in and they arrived at his door. He called me and got angry at me for calling the police cause it made him look bad. Obviously I didnt care for him at all! What the heck?

Come to think of it... .Man this past month of NC has been peacefull!

[GoodThingsToCome]

Twisting... .ahhh yes. I'll never forgot one story my BPD ex twisted to use against me... .

I had told her once how my ex-GF before her (who is a lovely woman and we had a long term stable relationship together) had come on holiday with my family and I to Italy, and at one point while we were talking around Rome in serious heat broke down crying because of exhaustion - but also due to the fact that her Mom had just been diagnosed with cancer.

So guess what my BPD ex did later on... .twisted the story around to later make out as if myself and my family were so horrible that we even made my ex-GF cry when she came on holiday with us... .What the heck,  ! When she did this I actually couldn't argue I was so dumb-founded. My BPD ex had problems with my family, probably because she had issues with her own family and jealousy issues because I was close with mine.

Wow, the memories of insanity. Glad I'm out.

[crookedeuphoria]

I have some jealousy issues. I know it and I work on it. I shared this with him (during idealization) in the event that if I ever did with him, I could tell him about it and we would talk about it rather than me getting those knots in my stomach.

One time during a fight, he told me he cheated on me four times (not true), he would get weird and squirrely about a woman he worked with and one time told me how hot he thought she was and how he flirts with her everyday, he would get googly eyed with my best friend and if I didn't say anything about it (and after awhile, believe me, I learned to not bring it up or give any indication that I had noticed), he would start a fight, saying "what? who'd I look at?"

So basically, I had this issue and he would do/say these things and I got to the point where I didn't know what was going on. Was I being irrational? Were these MY issues rearing their ugly heads? Did I imagine that?

[Skip]

Twisting... .ahhh yes. I'll never forgot one story my BPD ex twisted to use against me... .

Cognitive distortions are very much a part of BPD.

www.apsu.edu/sites/apsu.edu/files/counseling/COGNITIVE_0.pdf

I think the imortant thing her is that our ex's truly believed these things - they were not manipulations - they were thinking abnormalities.

I say this as it is a the root of "not taking it personally".  As personal as these comments were - and they were very personal - they were not about what we said or did.

[Deeno02]

Always said to me how she thought I felt her and her 5 kids were pains in the asses and I had better things to do than be with her. I heard it so often, I guess I did start to believe it... .

It's not sure gas lighting.  First, because gaslighting refers to a premeditated and symptomatic system of selling someone on a false reality using third parties and other (e.g. mechanical) proof sources - an intricate con.  Second, because the concept of gaslighting has is mostly urban legend / junk psychology. It's like the 3 second rule for food that drops on the floor.  Sounds good if you don't think about it.  

Do you think she knew this was false but was saying it to brain wash you, or is it that she believed that it was true?  Five kids are a lot of work no matter how much we love them or spin it. Did her parents treat her this way?

Told constantly I was incapable of love, emotionless, not lovable.

Horrible.  We read a lot about this on the Coping/Healing board - how these bad family dynamics are learned and passed down.

It's helps to see it for what it is.

I do think that she was Skip. I believe, now that Im out of the r/s, that she constantly said this to drive me away. I was so involved with those kids schedules, and then after the football incident with the toxic neighbor, I was cut out of the schedule unless as a last resort. Almost everyday she said that to me when I would ask, beg, to help her get kids from point A to point B. Eventually, it wore me out and I stopped asking, which lead to further discourse and splitting. I couldnt do anything right.

[Skip]

I believe, now that Im out of the r/s, that she constantly said this to drive me away. I was so involved with those kids schedules, and then after the football incident with the toxic neighbor, I was cut out of the schedule unless as a last resort. Almost everyday she said that to me when I would ask, beg, to help her get kids from point A to point B. Eventually, it wore me out and I stopped asking, which lead to further discourse and splitting. I couldnt do anything right.

Do you think she walked from the relationship because you "thought the kids were a pain in the ass"?

Or do you think she was letting go of the relationship and this was part of the phasing out/detaching/lettting go.

[Deeno02]

I believe, now that Im out of the r/s, that she constantly said this to drive me away. I was so involved with those kids schedules, and then after the football incident with the toxic neighbor, I was cut out of the schedule unless as a last resort. Almost everyday she said that to me when I would ask, beg, to help her get kids from point A to point B. Eventually, it wore me out and I stopped asking, which lead to further discourse and splitting. I couldnt do anything right.

Do you think she walked from the relationship because you "thought the kids were a pain in the ass"?

Or do you think she was letting go of the relationship and this was part of the phasing out/detaching/lettting go.

I never thought they were pains,but after the football incident, I was being pushed out, and I gave up trying to defend myself from the allegation. I think it was both. I couldnt persuade her that my feelings for the kids were honest, and this devalued me even further. Its funny, but when I tried to win her back in the gym and she was laying into me, her kids never came up, mine sure did amongst a bunch of other hurtful stuff, but not her kids...

[vortex of confusion]

Cognitive distortions are very much a part of BPD.

www.apsu.edu/sites/apsu.edu/files/counseling/COGNITIVE_0.pdf

I think the imortant thing her is that our ex's truly believed these things - they were not manipulations - they were thinking abnormalities.

I say this as it is a the root of "not taking it personally".  As personal as these comments were - and they were very personal - they were not about what we said or did.

For me, that makes it even more difficult to deal with. If he was deliberately being a jerk, it would be so easy to turn my back and not take it so personal. I could write it off as him being an a%%hole. I know mine does not do anything deliberately. He is a very thoughtless person.

He will say one thing one minute and then something else the next. It is that ability to change his mind or opinion that has me questioning my sanity and feel gaslit. One minute he is complaining that I don't help him by changing the cat boxes but then when I try to step up and do it, he blocks my way and gets mad. I don't know how many times he will negate something the girls and I say. If I hear something and he doesn't, he will try to say that it isn't there because he didn't hear it. He has done a number on our kids by telling them that they didn't see, hear, taste, etc. If he doesn't experience the same thing, then it didn't happen. There is no room for other people having a different experience than him.

[camuse]

Mine had a phrase:

"You're the kind of person who would... ." followed by something bizarre that I would never do.

Said it so often, I ended up wondering if I was indeed the sort of person who would do whatever crazy thing she had suggested that day (usually to do with cheating on her)

[blissful_camper]

During the r/s I felt I was in a horror film.  What I was seeing/experiencing was twisted, and reminded me of Hitchcock film noir.  I often felt my ex's actions were intentional.  I often felt he was intentionally trying to hurt me.  (His actions did hurt me very much)  But it wasn't about me.  He couldn't help himself.  He is in survival-mode 24/7.  He distorts, he is paranoid, he can't trust, he dissociates a lot.  That is the world he lives in.  Go there.  Imagine what it is like to live that way.  It's not pretty.  

The disorder isn't an excuse for his poor behavior.  But I can forgive him because it is the right thing to do.  I have compassion for him as I would have compassion for anyone who is suffering from any form of mental illness.  I would not want to be in his shoes.  I can do nothing to help him.  What I can do is say a prayer to keep him safe.  Let go, and let Gaia (or God, or the Universe, _______ fill in the blank)

Remember that it wasn't about you.  

[vortex of confusion]

Mine had a phrase:

"You're the kind of person who would... ." followed by something bizarre that I would never do.

Said it so often, I ended up wondering if I was indeed the sort of person who would do whatever crazy thing she had suggested that day (usually to do with cheating on her)

Mine never said this kind of stuff directly. It was usually passive aggressive stuff that made me feel like a friggin' monster. That is why I would try harder. I felt like his reactions to me were a result of the fact that I was being mean or unreasonable. The one thing that sticks out most is when we were pursuing alternative arrangements. One friend broke it off and he immediately started pushing me to go do some other guy as though I were some kind of slut. It was a real mind bender.

[Skip]

We have a article on fear, obligation, and guilt that explains that this is actually a transaction between two people with both playing a part. For the controller, the role is having dysfunctional psychological defenses and coping mechanisms.  For the controlled, the role is providing an enabling reaction to these dysfunctional reactions.

The transaction has four parts: the demand, the resistance, pressure and threats, and compliance.

• The Demand  This can be direct (e.g., "I don't want your mother coming here" or indirect ("Nothing’s wrong. I know you don’t have time to listen to my petty problems" by the controller.

• The Resistance  Objection to the demand at some level by the controlled.

• Pressure and Threats  Pressure and threats can be subtle or quite direct (see "Common Control Scenarios", below) by the controller.

• Compliance   "Giving in" by the controlled to the pressure and threats and doing something uncomfortable, undesirable, burdensome, or self-sacrificing.

https://bpdfamily.com/content/emotional-blackmail-fear-obligation-and-guilt-fog

One point in this is that we rewarded it - we, unintentionally, encouraged it.  Look at the posts above and how we responded.

[vortex of confusion]

We have a article on fear, obligation, and guilt that explains that this is actually a transaction between two people with both playing a part. For the controller, the role is having dysfunctional psychological defenses and coping mechanisms.  For the controlled, the role is providing an enabling reaction to these dysfunctional reactions.

Thanks for this information Skip!

It raises several questions and concerns for me.

First, as I read through this, I had to fight the feelings of "Wow, I guess it was all my fault."

Second, when I pushed that thought aside and really thought and reflected on it, I realized that I have been guilty of those same things at different times. I would try to be direct and say, "I need [fill in the blank]". When those requests were ignored repeatedly, I had to find some other way to get my needs met. In some cases, that involved me doing some of the same things that made me so mad at my spouse. How many of us can honestly say that we never ever sank down to their level? How many of us can claim to be perfectly innocent victims in all of this?

Aren't all of the attempts for some people to continually contact the ex a form of gaslighting? The person broke up with you or you broke up with them. Now, you want to get back with them or contact them just to talk or get closure. I understand that but when we push them to communicate with us, that seems like a form of gaslighting because it is us denying that they are done with us for whatever reason. If you text somebody and they don't respond, that is nonverbal communication by them that they are unavailable for whatever reason.

Sorry to go off on a tangent. I have just been feeling like blaming everything on BPD and continuing to contact people and write them letters after they have said they are done is being disrespectful of other people's boundaries. A person with BPD has boundaries too. If they try to exert them, it is blamed on BPD. As nons are some of us creating our own hells with our inability to be more balanced?

[Skip]

First, as I read through this, I had to fight the feelings of "Wow, I guess it was all my fault."

Second, when I pushed that thought aside and really thought and reflected on it, I realized that I have been guilty of those same things

Good processing.  And yes, transactional means that it takes two to play ping pong.  That each party is returning the others salvo.  Even if it originates from their cognitive distortion - if we are believing it and respoding to making it right, we are either validating the distortion or giving them what they want.

It takes a great deal of emotional intelligence to see this.  Most of us missed it.

Aren't all of the attempts for some people to continually contact the ex a form of gaslighting?

I don't think anyone knows what this term means - I've seen it used to describe 20 unrelated things with the only common denominator being "hurtful things bad people do to me" - it comes from a 1944 movie which is about a carefully planned diabolical plot like a sting or a con - not a BPD modis operandi. It's a victims term.

With respect to contacting the exes - our surveys show high rates of recycling in these relationships before they end - and the down cycles get more severe in time - so its often not clear that it is really over.

[SickofMe]

have just been feeling like blaming everything on BPD and continuing to contact people and write them letters after they have said they are done is being disrespectful of other people's boundaries. A person with BPD has boundaries too. If they try to exert them, it is blamed on BPD. As nons are some of us creating our own hells with our inability to be more balanced?

I've thought about this, too.  When they won't speak to us we call it Silent Treatment but when we won't speak to them it's NC?  That makes it hard for me to tell heads from tails, also.

Some of my friends got REALLY judgy and annoyed with me bc I responded to my ex's last contact.  Well, that is who I am.  I was careful to keep it all kind and all in the "me" court and they sorta derisively told me I was "giving away my power."  Well, again, that's me.  I don't *care* if he knows I was/am hurt, my motivation isn't to guilt him or to win him back, I just wanted to try to have some sort of adult and genuine conversation at the end of the r/s.

To me, not responding to him at all would have been acting just like he's acted... .yuck.  It's different if someone is stalking or harassing you after you've asked them to stop,  but I want to behave better than he does.  I don't have a wish to hurt anyone, no matter how horribly they've behaved.  I mean, I have moments of nasty, vindictive thoughts, but I don't act on them.

[Skip]

Some of my friends got REALLY judgy and annoyed with me bc I responded to my ex's last contact.  Well, that is who I am.  I was careful to keep it all kind and all in the "me" court and they sorta derisively told me I was "giving away my power."  Well, again, that's me.  I don't *care* if he knows I was/am hurt, my motivation isn't to guilt him or to win him back, I just wanted to try to have some sort of adult and genuine conversation at the end of the r/s.

Take the emotionally mature high ground.

If there is one  thing we can take away from this experiences let it be a higher level of emotional maturity.

[vortex of confusion]

I've thought about this, too.  When they won't speak to us we call it Silent Treatment but when we won't speak to them it's NC?  That makes it hard for me to tell heads from tails, also.

It is difficult to make sense of it all. I see a lot of double standards and have been guilty of having double standards as well. What you say about NC vs. the silent treatment really highlights a question that has been on my mind quite a bit. Maybe they are trying to be NC because they can't handle whatever it is that we are trying to say. I know that when my husband has been in a decent place we have talked about how there are times when it feels like we are trying to speak two different languages.

Some of my friends got REALLY judgy and annoyed with me bc I responded to my ex's last contact.  Well, that is who I am.  I was careful to keep it all kind and all in the "me" court and they sorta derisively told me I was "giving away my power."  Well, again, that's me.  I don't *care* if he knows I was/am hurt, my motivation isn't to guilt him or to win him back, I just wanted to try to have some sort of adult and genuine conversation at the end of the r/s.

I hate the emphasis on power. I don't want power and I don't like power. The only person I have ever wanted to control is myself. When other people are coming from a place where they see everything in terms of power and control, it makes it very difficult. Really, I think that is the source of a lot of conflict between my husband and I. He feels like he has no control over anyone or anything so he does subtle things to feel like he has some kind of control or power. To keep it on the topic of gaslighting, his intentions were not to gaslight but to have his twisted version of reality validated. Because they are coming from a place where they feel powerless, getting other people to see their version of reality gives them some kind of sense of power or identity. (Maybe that is all a bunch of psychobabble that makes no sense but it sounds good.   )

I have also wondered if the need for closure is really a final attempt to have our reality validated? I am thinking about how I have felt when there wasn't any clear closure.

To me, not responding to him at all would have been acting just like he's acted... .yuck.  It's different if someone is stalking or harassing you after you've asked them to stop,  but I want to behave better than he does.  I don't have a wish to hurt anyone, no matter how horribly they've behaved.  I mean, I have moments of nasty, vindictive thoughts, but I don't act on them.

Sure, I want to behave better as well but aren't there times when responding would escalate the situation? I guess the key is to know when to be quiet and when to respond without getting into the power struggle or comparing myself to him. Not responding may have nothing to do with being vindictive but may instead be about self preservation (on both sides).

[blissful_camper]

Some of my friends got REALLY judgy and annoyed with me bc I responded to my ex's last contact.  Well, that is who I am.  I was careful to keep it all kind and all in the "me" court and they sorta derisively told me I was "giving away my power."  Well, again, that's me.  I don't *care* if he knows I was/am hurt, my motivation isn't to guilt him or to win him back, I just wanted to try to have some sort of adult and genuine conversation at the end of the r/s.

Take the emotionally mature high ground.

If there is one  thing we can take away from this experiences let it be a higher level of emotional maturity.

Amen

[Blimblam]

What i experienced as gas lighting was at the end of the rs when my ex had already checked out but didn't want to loose me as an attachment.  Her own self doubts caused her to go around to friends complaining about me but she would lie about this he then seeked out new attachments. Was seeing other people and lying about it. Any time we had an issue she would complain to her family and friends and they would put up Facebook posts of memes related to my to the episode. When ever I confronted her about these things it always fed back in to her convincing me I was the problem if only I was more this of more that.  Which would lead to me trying to have a constructive conversation about resolving the issue.  When we had these conversations she would dysregulate. Then she would find ways to project her shame back onto me subtly and then convince me once again of being paranoid.  This went on for a couple months and built up very slowly untill I was lost and confused.  I never took the route of being more and more accommodating to her behavior. The problem is I began to doubt my reality and was just unsure of myself. My ex was a classic waif, the quiet borderline and when she would dysregulate she would go into victim

Mode not rage.  She would get her revenge through gas lighting enstead. Most of her abuse was premeditated and quite sadistic. Although I think there was an underlying set of triggers the disorder would sort of manifest in a sort of choose your own adventure book where each percieved choice seemed to lead to more of the same unless I was able to not be offended and endlessly patient and understanding, perhaps.

[SickofMe]

Sure, I want to behave better as well but aren't there times when responding would escalate the situation? I guess the key is to know when to be quiet and when to respond without getting into the power struggle or comparing myself to him. Not responding may have nothing to do with being vindictive but may instead be about self preservation (on both sides).

Mine sent a half-assed apology which was manipulative and blame-y. I responded and said "we wanted different things, that is enough of a reason not to be together. I hope you find someone who is a better fit for you, someday."

I left out the part where what I want is someone honest and healthy, and he wants someone he can take advantage of. :P

It wasn't my first draft. The first one was pathetic, with my groveling and more or less begging him to love me... .sad. Fortunately, I have learned not to hit the "send" button too quickly.

[Blimblam]

The more I think about it the more it sort of makes sense that it was merely a case of the disorder being triggered and my ex looking for an outlet to avoide her pain and it just spiraled from there.

[Deeno02]

I honestly think mine just wanted to dump someone because she got dumped by her husband. Ding, Deeno up to bat, swing and a miss... ,

[going places]

www.narcissisticbehavior.net/the-effects-of-gaslighting-in-narcissistic-victim-syndrome/

It's like someone crawled inside my head, and took notes... .

[peiper]

www.narcissisticbehavior.net/the-effects-of-gaslighting-in-narcissistic-victim-syndrome/

It's like someone crawled inside my head, and took notes... .

More like crawled inside and took my soul, for awhile.