Is it possible that I have PTSD from this relationship?

[camuse]

You must stop communicating with her, and you must stop looking at her online profiles.

To be frank, from your posts she sounds totally nuts. You won't be able to get over her and move on while you have her in your life, and emailing back and forth will prolong your recovery massively. You cannot win, you are losing every time you interact in any way - you are remaining attached, just as she wants.

I don't believe you are emotionally detached yet, do you want to remain attached forever? You can kid yourself you can email back and forth and read her profiles without emotion, but I don't believe you. I wish you would go NC. Just go NC for a month, if forever is too long. Then reassess in 30 days time. Until you do this, you are going to be stuck here I think.

[CareTaker]

I don't believe you are emotionally detached yet, do you want to remain attached forever? You can kid yourself you can email back and forth and read her profiles without emotion, but I don't believe you. I wish you would go NC. Just go NC for a month, if forever is too long. Then reassess in 30 days time. Until you do this, you are going to be stuck here I think.

I agree. Not worth the pain anymore. I rather be alone, and work through my own recovery. I will no longer be a part of that. Friends do not treat each other in this manner, so no reason to even be friends with her. I really have nothing to say to anyone who sucked the life out me, and who cost me a small fortune.

Move on. You have to do it sooner or later.

[SpringInMyStep]

You must stop communicating with her, and you must stop looking at her online profiles.

To be frank, from your posts she sounds totally nuts. You won't be able to get over her and move on while you have her in your life, and emailing back and forth will prolong your recovery massively. You cannot win, you are losing every time you interact in any way - you are remaining attached, just as she wants.

I don't believe you are emotionally detached yet, do you want to remain attached forever? You can kid yourself you can email back and forth and read her profiles without emotion, but I don't believe you. I wish you would go NC. Just go NC for a month, if forever is too long. Then reassess in 30 days time. Until you do this, you are going to be stuck here I think.

Oh I feel no emotions for her whatsoever. I blocked her from my email and told her to stop emailing me. She's the one who initiated this exchange. I feel good that I got to tell her my true feelings... .I think this is helping me get closure.

[camuse]

You must stop communicating with her, and you must stop looking at her online profiles.

To be frank, from your posts she sounds totally nuts. You won't be able to get over her and move on while you have her in your life, and emailing back and forth will prolong your recovery massively. You cannot win, you are losing every time you interact in any way - you are remaining attached, just as she wants.

I don't believe you are emotionally detached yet, do you want to remain attached forever? You can kid yourself you can email back and forth and read her profiles without emotion, but I don't believe you. I wish you would go NC. Just go NC for a month, if forever is too long. Then reassess in 30 days time. Until you do this, you are going to be stuck here I think.

Oh I feel no emotions for her whatsoever. I blocked her from my email and told her to stop emailing me. She's the one who initiated this exchange. I feel good that I got to tell her my true feelings... .I think this is helping me get closure.

But she is the one person on earth who will never ever give you closure. Your goal should be indifference, your words have no impact on her other than to reinforce your attachment.

Why do you engage with her, when she initiates? What do you hope to gain from this? Telling her your feelings serves only to feed her ego, she doesn't care what your actual feelings are, they are irrelevant to her. She doesn't care what you think, only that you think something. I wish you would sever all ties with her, you are wasting your days and causing yourself pain, even if you don't realise it. You are handing over your energy and power to her every time you communicate in any way.

[Mike76]

Happy this thread was started... . 

I did not take the time to read each thread posting, but I personally think PTSD it is possibility.  FYI- I am really just getting the formal divorce process started now.

My personal counselor has not talked much about or really mentioned much about PTSD. I thought about switching counselors, this possible counselor mentioned after I mentioned, but more or less changed the subject and said we could talk about it in the future.

A issue came up recently and I asked my dBPDw to have her T call me.  My wife has had this T for 2 years, and I have met my wifes T twice before during my wife's sessions.  (This is also the T that made the diagnoses... .)   My wife's T did call, I wanted to give the divorce heads up and suicidal threats my wife made.   My wife's T mentioned to me I might have some PTSD symptoms, based on the level of BPD .

[SpringInMyStep]

Yes I know, she's totally nuts and this email exchange has actually helped me to solidify that. I've spent the last hour or so making sure she's blocked from everything as well as changing passwords, even though I did that when she first moved out. Also, I had my screen name changed because I was worried she might find me on here.

I really am trying to move on. I think it was actually helpful for me to get out what I wanted to say because  now i don't have to have the conversation in my head anymore. All the cards are out on the table. I have no doubt that what I said really really upset her and I'm sure she's having an emergency therapy session today. I don't care. I spent too long worrying about her needs and not mine and now I can do/say what I want and I don't care what she thinks about it.

[pieceofme]

I am dealing with many things that trigger me.  I have always had anxiety problems but never to the extent I have had since being in this r/s and since the BU.  I also had to change my ring tone on my phone, I blocked him with an app.  I can't watch certain TV shows or movies without getting completely agitated.  If I encounter any road rage I have a panic attack, to the point where I have changed my route home after encountering someone raging at me on the road for driving too slow (10km over the speed limit!).  If anything catches me by surprise the adrenaline surge floods me and it takes me an hour to calm down, including loud noises.  I am hypervigilant, always trying to be ready for the next thing.  I even see imaginary stuff out of the corner of my eye sometimes and makes me wonder if I'm hallucinating!  My spider phobia has gotten much worse this year which has to be tied in to feeling completely out of control).  Wow, typing this makes me feel a little crazy!  I am super sensitive to any kind of rejection or criticism and I completely over react.  I've been quite the introvert lately and it's all to avoid any triggers.  (And yes I am getting counselling thank God)

i could have written this. i have always had a bit of social anxiety, but it is crazy how the triggers have changed since this r/s.