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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: You don't want to live like this.  (Read 854 times)
hurting300
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« on: December 28, 2014, 10:16:36 AM »

Split




Hurting

Why is it that she responds only when  I say I am letting you go ?

I have being out for 5 months , she had plenty of chances to change her number , but never did why is that ?

she is going thru phases. Don't say she hasn't changed her number yet because you might call again and it will be. The very first time I broke up with mine she did the things yours are doing to you. Go no contact. Your killing yourself inside because you keep trying to explain a mental illness. You don't want to live like this.
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In the eye for an eye game, he who cares least, wins. I, for one. am never stepping into the ring with someone who is impulsive and doesn't think of the downstream consequences.
Rise
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« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2014, 12:42:39 PM »

Hurting

Why is it that she responds only when  I say I am letting you go ?

I have being out for 5 months , she had plenty of chances to change her number , but never did why is that ?

Guy I think you're kind of reaching here. Why haven't you changed your number? Maybe she hasn't changed her number because it's a massive inconvenience. I certainly don't change my number every time I go through a break up. That doesn't mean I have any interest in being with my exes.

I am going NC for a while , should I text her and wish her the best and say , I am moving on too just like she mentioned a day before Christmas  , yes I want her back for one more chance ,

Would that help or not , should I send her a text stating I am moving on , I don't like playing games , when it comes to a relationship But it looks like I have to ,any final text suggestion before I go NC ?

I think at this point she is well aware of the fact you want her back. You've already told her this, multiple times. I'm pretty sure she knows what the score is. What's different this time that you expect different results?
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hurting300
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« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2014, 01:24:12 PM »

Had my ex had the backbone to tell me it was over I wouldn't even be here. She disappeared with our baby while I was at work changing her number and everything. Be thankful she actually was brave enough to end it.
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In the eye for an eye game, he who cares least, wins. I, for one. am never stepping into the ring with someone who is impulsive and doesn't think of the downstream consequences.
samj81

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« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2014, 01:42:23 PM »

Can i ask why does everyone say six week no contact?why six week?
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Aussie JJ
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« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2014, 05:58:59 PM »

We all go through phases,

6 weeks is approximately 40 days.  It takes a period of time to get distance emotionally and look at things with a more open perspective. 

Everyone has different time lines and marks in their relationships and break ups. 

For me, the 2-3 week mark was excruciating.  I got there 4 or 5 times... . 

The part where I struggled was at around the 75 to 90 day mark.  At that point, I was processing my issues more than trying to resolve her issues. 

NC or LC isn't a solution it is a tool to give us space to process our emotions and grieve appropriately without triangulating the other person in our process. 

NC or LC isn't about punishing the pwBPD, it is about healing ourselves.  Stepping back from the drama and getting a objective view of what is transpiring. 


AJJ. 
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Skip
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« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2014, 06:18:38 PM »

Aussie JJ is right.  3 weeks is a hard one.  6 weeks is the first level of detachment for many.

Just rules of thumb.
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hurting300
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« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2014, 06:28:50 PM »

Aussie JJ is right.  3 weeks is a hard one.  6 weeks is the first level of detachment for many.

Just rules of thumb.

I wish I could detach. I think the shock of the disappearance with no word is causing it.
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In the eye for an eye game, he who cares least, wins. I, for one. am never stepping into the ring with someone who is impulsive and doesn't think of the downstream consequences.
Skip
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« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2014, 06:41:38 PM »

Betrayal trauma.
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Skip
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« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2014, 07:28:49 PM »

Staff only

guy4caligirl is trying to rekindle his relationship - member's choice. 

If he is posting on Staying, let's respect that goal.
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hurting300
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« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2014, 07:35:39 PM »

Staff only

guy4caligirl is trying to rekindle his relationship - member's choice. 

If he is posting on Staying, let's respect that goal.

I agree, people need to try and live and learn. We should support him where ever he posts.
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In the eye for an eye game, he who cares least, wins. I, for one. am never stepping into the ring with someone who is impulsive and doesn't think of the downstream consequences.
guy4caligirl
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« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2014, 07:42:47 PM »

Thanks for all your support including Skip's remarks and advises !

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hurting300
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« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2014, 07:50:15 PM »

Any time buddy.
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In the eye for an eye game, he who cares least, wins. I, for one. am never stepping into the ring with someone who is impulsive and doesn't think of the downstream consequences.
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