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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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You don't want to live like this.
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Topic: You don't want to live like this. (Read 451 times)
hurting300
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1292
You don't want to live like this.
«
on:
December 28, 2014, 10:16:36 AM »
Split
Quote from: guy4caligirl on December 28, 2014, 09:49:34 AM
Hurting
Why is it that she responds only when I say I am letting you go ?
I have being out for 5 months , she had plenty of chances to change her number , but never did why is that ?
she is going thru phases. Don't say she hasn't changed her number yet because you might call again and it will be. The very first time I broke up with mine she did the things yours are doing to you. Go no contact. Your killing yourself inside because you keep trying to explain a mental illness. You don't want to live like this.
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In the eye for an eye game, he who cares least, wins. I, for one. am never stepping into the ring with someone who is impulsive and doesn't think of the downstream consequences.
Rise
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 623
You don't want to live like this.
«
Reply #1 on:
December 28, 2014, 12:42:39 PM »
Quote from: guy4caligirl on December 28, 2014, 09:49:34 AM
Hurting
Why is it that she responds only when I say I am letting you go ?
I have being out for 5 months , she had plenty of chances to change her number , but never did why is that ?
Guy I think you're kind of reaching here. Why haven't
you
changed
your
number? Maybe she hasn't changed her number because it's a massive inconvenience. I certainly don't change my number every time I go through a break up. That doesn't mean I have any interest in being with my exes.
Quote from: guy4caligirl on December 28, 2014, 09:38:14 AM
I am going NC for a while , should I text her and wish her the best and say , I am moving on too just like she mentioned a day before Christmas , yes I want her back for one more chance ,
Would that help or not , should I send her a text stating I am moving on , I don't like playing games , when it comes to a relationship But it looks like I have to ,any final text suggestion before I go NC ?
I think at this point she is well aware of the fact you want her back. You've already told her this, multiple times. I'm pretty sure she knows what the score is. What's different this time that you expect different results?
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hurting300
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1292
You don't want to live like this.
«
Reply #2 on:
December 28, 2014, 01:24:12 PM »
Had my ex had the backbone to tell me it was over I wouldn't even be here. She disappeared with our baby while I was at work changing her number and everything. Be thankful she actually was brave enough to end it.
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In the eye for an eye game, he who cares least, wins. I, for one. am never stepping into the ring with someone who is impulsive and doesn't think of the downstream consequences.
samj81
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 23
You don't want to live like this.
«
Reply #3 on:
December 28, 2014, 01:42:23 PM »
Can i ask why does everyone say six week no contact?why six week?
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Aussie JJ
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: apart 18 months, 12 months push pull 6 months seperated properly, 4 months k own about BPD
Posts: 865
You don't want to live like this.
«
Reply #4 on:
December 28, 2014, 05:58:59 PM »
We all go through phases,
6 weeks is approximately 40 days. It takes a period of time to get distance emotionally and look at things with a more open perspective.
Everyone has different time lines and marks in their relationships and break ups.
For me, the 2-3 week mark was excruciating. I got there 4 or 5 times... .
The part where I struggled was at around the 75 to 90 day mark. At that point, I was processing my issues more than trying to resolve her issues.
NC or LC isn't a solution it is a tool to give us space to process our emotions and grieve appropriately without triangulating the other person in our process.
NC or LC isn't about punishing the pwBPD, it is about healing ourselves. Stepping back from the drama and getting a objective view of what is transpiring.
AJJ.
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Skip
Site Director
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 8817
You don't want to live like this.
«
Reply #5 on:
December 28, 2014, 06:18:38 PM »
Aussie JJ is right. 3 weeks is a hard one. 6 weeks is the first level of detachment for many.
Just rules of thumb.
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hurting300
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1292
You don't want to live like this.
«
Reply #6 on:
December 28, 2014, 06:28:50 PM »
Quote from: Skip on December 28, 2014, 06:18:38 PM
Aussie JJ is right. 3 weeks is a hard one. 6 weeks is the first level of detachment for many.
Just rules of thumb.
I wish I could detach. I think the shock of the disappearance with no word is causing it.
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In the eye for an eye game, he who cares least, wins. I, for one. am never stepping into the ring with someone who is impulsive and doesn't think of the downstream consequences.
Skip
Site Director
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 8817
You don't want to live like this.
«
Reply #7 on:
December 28, 2014, 06:41:38 PM »
Betrayal trauma.
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Skip
Site Director
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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Re: You don't want to live like this.
«
Reply #8 on:
December 28, 2014, 07:28:49 PM »
guy4caligirl is trying to rekindle his relationship - member's choice.
If he is posting on Staying, let's respect that goal.
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hurting300
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1292
Re: You don't want to live like this.
«
Reply #9 on:
December 28, 2014, 07:35:39 PM »
Quote from: Skip on December 28, 2014, 07:28:49 PM
guy4caligirl is trying to rekindle his relationship - member's choice.
If he is posting on Staying, let's respect that goal.
I agree, people need to try and live and learn. We should support him where ever he posts.
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In the eye for an eye game, he who cares least, wins. I, for one. am never stepping into the ring with someone who is impulsive and doesn't think of the downstream consequences.
guy4caligirl
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 692
Re: You don't want to live like this.
«
Reply #10 on:
December 28, 2014, 07:42:47 PM »
Thanks for all your support including Skip's remarks and advises !
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hurting300
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1292
Re: You don't want to live like this.
«
Reply #11 on:
December 28, 2014, 07:50:15 PM »
Any time buddy.
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In the eye for an eye game, he who cares least, wins. I, for one. am never stepping into the ring with someone who is impulsive and doesn't think of the downstream consequences.
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