Feel sad miss her

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Its funny the first week she was kinder not exactly gushing with empathy , but after that and under other forces influence (dad/friends) her anger / resentment and real cold detachment began . I always got the feeling with her she was a bit of an empty vessel when it came down to how she should act or feel or cope in stressful situations and would act how the person/influence was proscribing .

[dobie]

Its funny the first week she was kinder not exactly gushing with empathy , but after that and under other forces influence (dad/friends) her anger / resentment and real cold detachment began . I always got the feeling with her she was a bit of an empty vessel when it came down to how she should act or feel or cope in stressful situations and would act how the person/influence was proscribing .

[ShadowIntheNight]

Its funny the first week she was kinder not exactly gushing with empathy , but after that and under other forces influence (dad/friends) her anger / resentment and real cold detachment began . I always got the feeling with her she was a bit of an empty vessel when it came down to how she should act or feel or cope in stressful situations and would act how the person/influence was proscribing .

Act under stress? Try react. In the last 3 years she would go ballistic over everything. Before that she would obsess over the matter. I think I posted somewhere that I handle stress well, she was/probably still is crazy. You don't want to be near her on a sinking ship... .

[dobie]

My T helped me to understand today how my own childhood trauma has reflected on how iv'e handled the trauma of her actions . My own need for love/rs with my parents etc and how any women who idealises you is in fact not really in love with you its about them .

My T told me as well 7 years is about the time most r/s go bust and when he sees couples for therapy the fantasy has worn off by then and people see each other for who they really are . Not what they want or imagine them to be .

That was her problem ... .He also taught me a healthy r/s is not about another person trying to change you again she was always doing this .its about love support etc not berating you because you aren't what they want at that particular time or place in life .


She wanted a bad boy she got one (me) then she wanted a sensible responsible man she got one (me) and now she wants something else ... .stuff her I don't need to jump through hoops and feel devalued to keep someone's love

To sum up her rejection of me has no baring on me , my self worth or who I should be .