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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Without a diagnosis...  (Read 379 times)
gomez_addams
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Almost divorced
Posts: 284


« on: May 19, 2015, 12:46:45 PM »

Friend of mine spoke to his aunt for me.  He has an uncle that is seriously mentally ill.  Her advice was: without a diagnosis, there's no hope, no chance.

I was wondering what people thought of that?  I wonder if that's more geared towards mental disorders vice behavioral/personality disorders.

Doesn't apply too much to me, because I'm past the point of no return.  I'm not the right guy to handle a BPD spouse, and I've broken down in a short time trying to be.

Gomez
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zundertowz
Formerly thirdeye
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
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« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2015, 12:57:37 PM »

I was the same... .I really wasn't the guy to deal with a BPD partner... .I have a bit of anxiety and depression and being with her just just made me ill beyond belief... .funny thing is she thought I should be on medication and in therapy and she put her 2 teenage kids on meds and in therapy but yet she went to talk to someone once or twice just for validation.  Her therapist said there was nothing wrong with her... .truth is eventually everyone around her becomes ill but she is perfectly normal.
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JayReader27

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« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2015, 04:42:16 PM »

That is very interesting. My mother is a psychologist, and from what I gather from her that is very true. without proper therapy there is no chance for a change in behavior.  My question is does it help at all if they are getting help? It seems like even with help there is moderate or little change at all for the people around the person with the mental illness.
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Trog
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« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2015, 04:47:32 PM »

Even with a diagnosis the chances of them getting and staying well and treating us as equal partners is slim to none. So without... .tiny.

My ex has a diagnosis, there's no chance of her accepting it and having a fulfilling life with a partner in a sane, loving happy relationship
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JayReader27

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« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2015, 04:51:03 PM »

Even with a diagnosis the chances of them getting and staying well and treating us as equal partners is slim to none. So without... .tiny.

My ex has a diagnosis, there's no chance of her accepting it and having a fulfilling life with a partner in a sane, loving happy relationship

Wow you just answered my question. I have always thought that even if they are getting help it has little affect on their lives or relationship with others.
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