Glad you're here Lucy.
You're in a place were a lot of people can relate to what you're saying and how you feel. I'd dare say most us have developed a case of coasterphobia. Funny how people do that eh? Have such exaggerated looks on their faces as they plummet down and round the bends to just get off at the stop station and run around again and get in line to take another ride.
"I do love him" Hey that's motivation for a lot to stay, but are there other reasons that you do?