"It does bug me some that I feel discarded and unappreciated."
well sure it does. it sucks.
"I do see these as MY problem, not his. I supposed if I cared more for myself, then it would not bother me?"
thats a great step, in the sense of taking personal responsibility. your feelings are yours to overcome. but that doesnt mean your feelings are "wrong". if you cared for more for yourself, it would likely still bother you on some level. i can care for myself all day long, how people treat me will still bother me, or have some effect on me.
"Yea, I guess I wish there was some validation from him. It would be nice to see him experience a similar reality, similar to mine, of our b/u vs the fictitious story he created to soothe himself in his own lies to himself."
i probably dont need to tell you, two different people share two different realities. a fictitious story one creates to soothe themselves in their own lies to themselves, is still one persons reality. this is not unique to BPD; we are all prone to it, and im guilty of it in my life myself. it was difficult to accept, but i cant change another persons reality. my actions might even reinforce it. in my life, ive had some friends who are not BPD, but were noticeably lacking in empathy. when i would seek it from them, id get the opposite, and id feel worse as a result. it was up to me to change that dynamic. i stopped seeking what another person had communicated they couldnt give.
"So there is a bit of a feeling of something I need to resolve within myself... .
Self validation?"
feeling abandoned, or invalidated can be seen as a real opportunity. it leaves us to our own devices. thats a test of ourselves. engaging in, and beating that test results in all kinds of things: renewed self esteem, self confidence, self efficacy, self validation, overall sense of self; its a real way to find ourselves, and find the strength in ourselves.