Rough Weekend

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I miss her or the fantasy... .probably more the fantasy. It's been, I don't know anymore, 6 weeks? The   keep popping up. Even new ones where I say to myself "ohhhhhhh".

I remember the rings. The first few times we Skyped, she was wearing a big, huge diamond ring. That was odd, why would you wear your wedding ring if you hated your husband and were moving forward with separation/divorce? Especially in front of me?

When I said something about it like "that's a mighty nice ring you have on", she acted surprised. I think "acted" is the key word. Then that ring was magically replaced by a ring I had bought her when we were together as youngsters. Except it wasn't my ring.

I thought it was my mistake but I know now that the ring she claimed to be from me wasn't the ring I bought her. I never said anything.

That should have been it but noo, I kept going.

Boy, what a mess. We were together for only 3 months but as many of you know, she was one of my first loves when we were in our 20s. Probably my most intense love ever. It's unbelievable that 3 months can affect me like this.

[WhatJustHappened?]

I miss her or the fantasy... .probably more the fantasy. It's been, I don't know anymore, 6 weeks? The   keep popping up. Even new ones where I say to myself "ohhhhhhh".

I remember the rings. The first few times we Skyped, she was wearing a big, huge diamond ring. That was odd, why would you wear your wedding ring if you hated your husband and were moving forward with separation/divorce? Especially in front of me?

When I said something about it like "that's a mighty nice ring you have on", she acted surprised. I think "acted" is the key word. Then that ring was magically replaced by a ring I had bought her when we were together as youngsters. Except it wasn't my ring.

I thought it was my mistake but I know now that the ring she claimed to be from me wasn't the ring I bought her. I never said anything.

That should have been it but noo, I kept going.

Boy, what a mess. We were together for only 3 months but as many of you know, she was one of my first loves when we were in our 20s. Probably my most intense love ever. It's unbelievable that 3 months can affect me like this.

[Mutt]

That should have been it but noo, I kept going.

Hi WhatJustHappened,

I'm sorry to hear you had a rough weekend. How were you feeling when you were replaying some or most of the 90 days and seeing things differently? Do you feel bad for missing the  's?

Is she still trying to keep you in the divorce loop with her H? Or have things been quiet on the home front?

[WhatJustHappened?]

That should have been it but noo, I kept going.

Hi WhatJustHappened,

I'm sorry to hear you had a rough weekend. How were you feeling when you were replaying some or most of the 90 days and seeing things differently? Do you feel bad for missing the  's?

Is she still trying to keep you in the divorce loop with her H? Or have things been quiet on the home front?

Good questions once again... .not really seeing anything differently, just clearer. More of the oddities are now making more sense and are easier to classify as I do feel bad about missing the red flags, her, the fantasy but that's OK. It was unsustainable.

Haven't heard a word from her so I'm guessing things have settled down or at least I've been left out of the triangle.

Mutt, how am I doing as far as where I'm at? Natural progression? I have to say that my old friend 'depression' has come back with a vengeance which I can't blame on the failed relationship but still interesting none-the-less.

[Schermarhorn]

Boy, what a mess. We were together for only 3 months but as many of you know, she was one of my first loves when we were in our 20s. Probably my most intense love ever. It's unbelievable that 3 months can affect me like this.

I know how you feel. The few months I knew my ex felt like years. I feel like I have known her my whole life, it's weird.

[WhatJustHappened?]

Schermarhorn, can you tell me more about your situation? Was your ex one of your first loves too? It's intense isn't it? Hard to explain sometimes.